Page 11

I swallowed the knot in my throat. Why do I feel like I’m a kid about to get scolded?

The need to please Lux was so strong I was already thinking through every little thing I could have possibly done wrong and getting ready to apologize for it.

“Like I mentioned, we went through a lot of nannies. That was because she never liked any of them,” she continued. “I don’t know what you did, but it saved your job.”

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. Bella likes me? I mean, guessing by the way that she offered me her pancake, I would say that I was on her good side, but I hadn’t done anything special, other than treat her like a kid.

“I’m not sure what I did either,” I admitted. “But I can assure you my number one goal is to make sure she’s happy and taken care of. You can trust that.”

“Good,” she said. “Can I also trust that nothing will happen between us again?”

My skin heated at her words, and while it shouldn’t, disappointment filled me.

“I don’t know, can you trust yourself?” I shot back with a raised brow. “You’re the one who pushed me up against the counter.”

Her lips pulled into a deep frown.

“A moment of weakness,” she said after a moment. Her eyes raked my form, taking in the light blue sweater and lowly white skirt. “Don’t wear the sundress again.”

I had to look away from her as my heart began pounding in my chest and heat flooded my body, swirling deliciously in my belly.

It made me want to wear it again. Test exactly what it did to her. What she’d want to do to me in it.

“It’s work-appropriate,” I muttered.

“It’s only appropriate if your goal was to get fucked again. Tell me, Juliette , was that your intention when you came into my home?”

I gave her an incredulous look.

“Don’t act like such a-a?—”

“Barbarian? A wanton, needy bitch in heat?”

I had to cover my mouth at the vulgarity of her words. My eyes shot to the hallway connecting us to Bella’s room, but there was no sign of her.

“Now that it’s out in the open, I can be honest,” she said, taking a step closer.

Her delicious scent filled my nose. Her body heat sunk into me.

I had to crane my neck up to get a good look at her.

“I’ve never needed anyone like I need you.

I want to drop everything, whisk you away, and keep you chained up on my bed begging for me to stop as I make you come over and over again.

Give you every single pleasure imaginable, like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

Your taste is still so fresh on my tongue, and I’ve been yearning to get even the slightest hint of it again. ”

My shaky hand landed on her stomach. I’m not sure if it was to steady myself or create some space so I could breathe, but it did the opposite. Touching her ignited something between us. It was a connection, an undeniable tether between us that reminded me just how good it had been that night.

“Do you see?” She dropped her voice into a whisper.

“This can’t happen. I can admit how much I want to ravage you , but nothing like that can ever happen again.

Not when Bella needs you. Can I trust myself?

I’m not sure. So I need us to be on the same page.

I need you to keep me grounded when all I can think abo—” She exhaled. “Tell me you understand.”

I understood all too well. Lux was a better guardian than I realized. She cared more for Bella than she let on. She knew Bella needed me and was willing to put her own desires on the back burner, no matter how strong they were.

But can I trust myself?

After yesterday and this morning, one thing was certain. It wasn’t just about the money anymore. Bella needed me, and it hurt my heart to think I’d ever disappoint her.

So there was really only one answer.

“I understand,” I said, looking up at her and removing my hand. And then, because I couldn’t help myself, I gave her a smile and added, “So you are the one in love with me. I knew it. Who would have thought the big bad Lux was so obsessed with little ol’ me?”

The tension stayed for a moment before she took a step back and shook her head while letting out a light chuckle. The heaviness between us disappeared, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.

The burning need for her was still there, but at least now we were aligned in wanting the best for the girl.

“Juliette! How does this look?”

Bella came running out of her room wearing a light blue cardigan and cream pants. I didn’t miss how we were practically matching.

“Beautiful!” I said with a clap of my hands. “We’re twins! And it looks so cute with your braids!”

She paused when she got to me, her hand shyly reaching up to feel her braid.

“Get going or you’ll be late,” Lux ordered.

I took Bella’s hand and was just about to take her out when the little girl paused, turned back, and ran to Lux. She flung her arms around her legs, giving her a hug that surprised both of us.

Lux’s eyes widened, and then very slowly her hand came to pat Bella’s head.

There is something there. It made my chest warm.

Bella ran back to me without looking back at Lux and placed her hand in mine. I sent Lux a small smile before turning away, leaving her in a shocked daze.

I showed Bella outside to where her driver was waiting for us. She was a young woman with a high ponytail, a button-up, and jeans. She smiled at Bella and opened the door for her to climb in.

“Juliette,” I introduced myself. She gave me a smile.

“Oh, I know, you’ve been the talk of the staff. I’m Marci.”

“Oh?” I asked with a quirked brow.

“By staff I mean me and Gina,” she clarified with a shrug.

I laughed and ducked in to sit next to Bella.

“You got your homework?” I asked once Marci started the car and had us heading to the school.

“Yep!” She opened her backpack to show me the neat folders stacked inside. “All ready.”

“Perfect,” I said, giving her a smile. “Okay, now tell me, who has a crush on whom?”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh, you’d never believe it. So, my friend Kinsley, there’s this boy in the grade above. They’ve been best friends for, like, ever . I don’t really get it because he’s gross and still eats his boogers. I mean, that’s so first grade, you know? Boys are gross like that?—”

I let Bella ramble on, listening to the gossip of her year. It became more obvious that while she knew people and had a few friends, she was pretty lonely with only one semi-close friend. She even admitted to spending a lot of lunch times alone, reading or playing in the jungle gym by herself.

I tried not to outwardly show just how much I felt for her, instead smiling along and chiming in until we pulled up to the school. She grabbed her backpack, hesitating when she opened the door.

“You promise we will get the bows after school?” she asked.

I nodded and gave her my biggest smile.

“Promise!” I said. “Do you want me to go with you?”

She shook her head.

“I know the way.” She hesitated for a second, almost taking a step forward before she said a quick bye to Marci, got out, and made her way into the gates.

Was that… Did she want to hug me?

“I see what Gina was saying. She likes you,” Marci said as we drove away, pulling me from my stupor. “She had all the others wait at home. It was just her and me.”

I frowned as she disappeared inside and we pulled away. I didn’t really have experience with grief and loneliness at her age, but I knew the best thing I could do was just be there for her.

“So where can I take you? The mall? A bookstore?” Marci asked.

I met her gaze in the rearview mirror.

“Do you have time for a coffee?” I asked. “I was wondering if I could pick your brain for a bit.”

Her eyes lit up. “I thought you’d never ask. I know just the place.”

* * *

Just the place seemed to be a hip-but-quiet café filled to the brim with plants that only sold overpriced matchas and specialty coffees. There was a small loft upstairs where we chose to sit down and have our chat.

Marci seemed all too excited to share everything she knew about Lux and Bella.

“No, I was hired just for Bella,” she said as she swirled the coffee in her hand, the ice slushing together loudly. “Lux likes to drive herself for the most part. A control thing, if you ask me.”

I hummed and sipped my matcha.

“How has Bella…” I paused, looking for a word.

“Been coping?” she supplied, and I nodded.

She let out a heavy sigh. “Honestly? I don’t think she has.

I’ve never seen her cry, though I’ve seen her throw fits like no one’s business.

I think it’s her way of letting the emotions out.

Anger is one of the last stages of grief, right?

But the issue is that no one can really help her through it.

You’ve seen Lux, it’s like talking to a brick wall. ”

I chewed the inside of my cheek, not bothering to correct her about the grief stages.

“She’s not that bad.”

“Because she wants to fuck you,” she replied with a grin. “To everyone else, she’s like an unfeeling block of ice.”

Heat rushed up my neck.

“She does not,” I lied, remembering her admission that morning. I could still feel how her words washed over my skin. How she felt when she was close enough to touch.

The promise of it all… but also the threat.

She’s right. Bella wouldn’t be able to handle it if we had a falling out. And more importantly, I’m here for Bella . Not to be Lux’s new toy.

“Oh, yeah, sure ,” she said with a snort, and just as she was about to put her cup down, she paused, her eyes going wide. “Oh my God, you want to fuck her too, don’t you? I don’t know why I didn’t see it.”

I gave her a glare and sipped my matcha.

“I don’t fuck my employers.”

She tipped her coffee to me in a mock cheers.

“Does Bella have any hobbies?” I asked.

The driver let out a hum. “She paints on her iPad. Plays a few gardening games. But that’s it.”

I nodded and let that sink in before standing.

“Take me to the craft store then, will you?”

She hastily got up.

“Now?” she asked. “You have, like, all day.”

“After that you can drop me off back home,” I said and turned to the stairs that led straight down to the exit.

“Boring!”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips.

Maybe I can last a while at this job after all.