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Lux

I ’d never have thought a million dollars would place me close to the possible love of my life, but I’d always known one thing to be true.

Money does buy happiness.

In this specific case, it bought me a single night with the girl of my dreams.

Soft skin. Silky blonde hair. Pouty red lips.

She was a knockout.

The cherry on top? The way she responded to me. The way our bodies fit together perfectly.

I couldn’t get enough of her.

I wanted more and more and only stopped because I saw my little angel getting worn out.

I wanted to break every rule. I had already done it by taking off my mask, so what was one more?

But I knew the rules were there not just for my sake, but for hers. She never took off the mask, meaning she didn’t want to be known.

Which meant that if I gave her my name, it might put her in an uncomfortable position thinking I wanted hers.

I did. I wanted everything. Her name. Where she lived. What other dark, dirty fantasies she had that we hadn’t gotten to.

And goddamn it, I wish I’d let her touch me.

I might have wanted others to before, when I was neglected and horny, but I craved her like she was some type of fucking super drug.

Her soft moans filtered through my mind over and over again. My body seized with a need for her. I could still feel her skin against mine. Could still taste her sweetness on the tip of my tongue.

If only I had the time to chase her. Rules were for the club; they couldn’t dictate what we did when we weren’t there.

I imagined bumping into her on the street. Or maybe if she worked in a service job, I could show up wherever she worked as a customer.

The fantasy of going to a random coffee shop and her being the barista was tantalizing.

I pictured myself stopping at one on my way to work.

Not the regular one I went to, but a random one that was just there when I was suddenly craving coffee.

I would decide to get out of the car and get it.

I would be standing there, moving up to the front of the line, and when I looked down, my little angel would be there. Waiting for me.

I would be breathless, and she would recognize me immediately, a blush coating her face.

I wouldn't pressure her, but I would plan to go there every day before work until she finally wrote her number on my cup.

But that was a silly daydream. Because, one, I never got coffee outside. And two, having time to even stand in line was laughable.

Going to the club set me back hours. Normally, in the dead of night, I would be able to finally get some peace and quiet and get some stuff done. The rest of my company wasn't working. Everyone was asleep in the house. And finally, I had uninterrupted thinking time to myself.

But I decided that I needed to get laid instead.

And drop one million fucking dollars.

I wasn’t mad about the money. It was a small drop in a large pool that I had collected for myself over the years. And if I was being honest, I wasn't even mad that I had a pile of work waiting for me. I was still more frustrated with the fact that I had no time to do what I really wanted to do.

Find out who my angel truly was.

Because I had bigger things to take care of. Like many things in my life, I had to leave her behind too. Love. I almost scoffed at myself for such a ridiculous thought.

Someone like me, falling in love?

But that was the first thing I thought when I met her.

It was what plagued my mind when I woke up every morning.

Getting laid had been the plan. They invited me to go to the auction, and I thought it would be a good idea to at least have some mediocre sex.

I never expected to pay one million dollars, but as soon as I saw her walk across the stage, I knew I couldn't bear anyone else having the chance to take her from me.

Which was why I had a message on my computer screen ready to be sent to an information broker, Mia. One I promised myself I wouldn’t use again because of just how crazy she was.

But I needed to know. I didn’t know how much longer I could hang on with her plaguing my mind.

“Lux? Is your internet breaking up again? This is why we need you in the offic?—”

I cleared my throat; I had totally forgotten I was on a call with Dominic. I hadn't listened to at least the last 20 minutes. My mind started drifting as he was going on about some possible reconstruction of the main floor and offices and how it would affect productivity.

I think he also mentioned that they were overcharging us? I had no fucking clue. Something you’d think as CEO I’d be worried about.

“I’m here,” I said. “I’ll look over the contracts when I get in tomorrow.”

Tomorrow, yes. That was the plan. What I should be focusing on instead of daydreaming about my one-night stand.

“What? You’re coming in so early? What about Bella?—”

As if she heard it, there was a loud thud outside my office. Then another. It sounded like she somehow knew exactly where I was and was throwing it directly at my back. The only thing protecting me was the wall that separated my office from the backyard.

She better not be playing target practice with the statues again.

“I have the nanny coming tomorrow,” I said, rushing the words out.

“It’s only been a week since you fired the last one. Are you sure?—”

“I’m sure,” I answered with a huff. I was already standing, trying to get out of the meeting as fast as possible. “She’s trying to run them off. And it’s working, so I threatened to sue the nanny company. They said they’re sending me their best.”

I had work piling up. A lot of the stuff was hard to do at home, especially with Bella needing me all the time. I didn't blame her after what she’d been through. I just didn't know how to help, even though I desperately wanted to.

It wasn’t just my duty. I loved her. And her mother.

He let out a chuckle.

“Best of luck. I’ll see you then.”

“See you.”

I set down the phone with a sigh and stared back at the message on my computer, pausing for just a moment to try to think about the consequences of what I was about to do.

And then there was another thump.

I pushed my chair back and made my way out through the quiet house. My shoes squeaked against the marble floors. I had bought this house a few years back after realizing that it wasn't reasonable for me to be living in some random apartment when I had the money to build my own.

So that's what I did. But it felt a little lonely. The only thing brightening up the place was an eight-year-old with a shit-ton of grief and no outlet for it.

When I finally reached the open living room, I paused, taking in the sight in front of me.

Both Bella’s personal chef and driver were standing by the large open sliding door, peeking out at the little girl. They were not nannies, something they had warned me about, but they also seemed to have warmed up to Bella, so they took it upon themselves to step in while I was finding a new one.

I appreciated them.

They stiffened when they heard me walk up, both turning their heads to look at me. I saw a mix of panic and exasperation on their faces.

“I tried to offer her snacks, but she threw them at me,” the chef murmured, the evidence of her action splattered all over her apron.

I noticed a few red splashes on her thick black hoodie.

Usually, she was pretty good about not getting it on her clothes, being a professional and all, but she must've been hurrying to try and meet Bella's needs.

“Send your stuff over with mine to the cleaners,” I told her.

She stood straight, her ears turning red. “No need, sir.”

“Then you send it yourself and send me the bill. No negotiating.”

I looked at her driver.

“I even offered to take her to Adventureland,” she said with a shrug.

With a sigh, I looked out to the backyard. Bella was now on her iPad, acting as if she hadn’t just been throwing rocks at my office wall.

“The nanny’s coming soon,” I informed them, unable to take my eyes off the pouting eight-year-old.

I felt a pang of grief when I saw her. It was inevitable. When she was born, I thought she looked more like that useless piece of shit Lily married. It annoyed me that she went through nine months of pain, high blood pressure, and an emergency C-section for her to come out looking like him.

It was insulting. Just like their entire relationship had been. She loved him unconditionally. Didn’t matter that he didn’t have a job or provide for them.

She said he was a good dad. She overlooked it when he’d come home late. When he’d miss important events. I didn’t even go to family events anymore because of my vile mother, but I heard enough to know he wouldn’t go to them either, leaving both of them to fend for themselves.

But as she spent more time with me, the more I could see my beloved sister in her.

Especially in her temper.

My sister was sweet and took a lot of shit from everyone for the sake of love, but when you got her angry— oh boy. I distinctly remember hiding out in my closet one day after school when she got mad at me for tearing up her homework.

In my defense, I thought it was a love letter from the boy who bullied her.

I saw that same girl now in Bella.

“That’s good,” the chef said with a sigh. “I love that little girl to death, but I’m not cut out for babysitting.”

“Me neither,” the driver muttered. Her hair was in a mess, her bangs pushed up and to the side after running her hands through it one too many times. “The only experience I have is babysitting my baby cousins once in seventh grade.”

“At least you have experience.”

The truth was that I was allergic to kids. I had never wanted them. Never had a maternal bone in my body. I always wanted love. Yearned for it. But kids? They were a whole different ball game.

You had to carry the child for nine—if not ten—months, your bones literally shifting in place, gaining up to sixty pounds sometimes, only to go through the most traumatic experience of your life before having to take care of a living, breathing thing that literally can't do anything on their own.

Not to mention, relying on a partner becoming a good parent.

But then Bella came into my life. I definitely wasn't her first choice of guardian, but my sister had put it in her will that she would go to me. She even had all the paperwork drawn up. All I had to do was sign.

And I couldn't leave her. I might not have been close to her before, but there was no way I would leave her in the hands of my mother.

I wanted to be the aunt she needed, but I never wanted this. I never prepared for this. It had never crossed my mind. To me, my sister would live forever, and I would die way before her death even became a topic.

Bella deserved someone better than me. More prepared. More maternal. More structured. Someone who could go on a field trip and would know what to say at parent-teacher conferences. Someone who knew how to address her and do her hair in the morning instead of leaving her to do it herself.

Someone who was definitely not me.

I watched how she tapped angrily on her iPad, her lips still in a pout.

She had the same dark brown hair as my sister's husband, but her eyes were the beautiful hazel of my sister.

She was still in the T-shirt and puffy tutu skirt she had picked out this morning, though now it was pretty dirty.

Just more evidence that she was actually digging in the dirt for rocks to throw at my wall.

With a click of my tongue, I turned on my heels and headed back to my office. I sat down at my desk, my hands gripping the sides of my chair.

This one has to work. I don't have any other options. I'm running out of time ? —

The thumping against my back wall started again. She started with just a single rock, then paused when I didn't immediately come back out before throwing another. And another. And another.

Tomorrow. Just wait till tomo ? —

Then I heard a crash somewhere. It sounded like something shattering.

Again, my mind went back to the message I wanted to send the information broker. I could just do this one thing for myself.

Just like my trip to the club, I needed something . Anything to take my mind off the stress of the real world. It wasn’t what I should be spending my time on, but it was just some information, right?

I wouldn’t act on it… Or at least that was what I promised myself.

I just wanted to find out who she was. That was all.

Maybe where she worked.

Maybe when she went to the club.

Anything.

I took out my phone.

Maybe if I pay her extra, she can get my angel’s phone number ? —

Another crash brought me back to reality and I quickly shoved my phone back into my pocket before I got any more ideas.