Page 32

I turned around, taking in the expansive mall around me.

I can always get some snacks or get my hair and nails done like she suggested.

But the more I sat with myself, the more I realized it had been a while since I'd been able to just be alone like this. Not just alone—alone without having anything to do.

I wasn’t worried about money or paying rent. I wasn’t wondering where my next meal would be coming from. I wasn’t so exhausted from work that I’d just crash on my bed as soon as I got there.

So I let myself sink into the feeling of not knowing what to do with myself. I let it sit heavy in my chest, allowing the anxiety to creep in.

Then I shut that shit down, puffed my chest out, and went for it.

I was going to do exactly what Lux recommended. Hair and nails.

Maybe I could dye my hair red.

I almost texted Lux to tease her about it but decided not to. And then I decided to get some nice lingerie she could peel off me later. Definitely something we’d both enjoy.

I stopped by a coffee kiosk and got a small iced tea before walking into the salon, which—thankfully—had spots open.

I zoned out more than once when the tech was working on my nails. I knew I was supposed to be enjoying it, but all I could think about was how Bella and Lux were doing.

How the talk was going.

It hoped it wouldn’t be a shock to her for the one person in her life to come out of nowhere and tell her she and her nanny were together.

I hope she doesn’t hate us for it.

That was the worst thing I could imagine as I sat down in the hairdresser’s chair. I breathed in and kept busy sipping on my tea and listening to the gossip around me.

Until my phone buzzed.

Excitement and panic swirled in my chest, thinking Lux and Bella had finished early.

But it wasn’t them.

It was my brother.

Lucas

Do you have time to talk?

I was hurt, but I wouldn’t say no to him. We were the only real family we had.

So I texted Lux.

Me

Hey! How are you guys doing? All done?

She replied almost instantly.

Lux Sterling

Still need some time. I haven't gotten to it yet. Maybe get yourself a snack?

Me

Okay. Lucas is coming over for a chat so I’ll go meet him.

Text me when you’re ready.

And don’t worry. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.

The hairstylist started cutting my hair while I typed Lucas back.

Me

Meet me in the first-floor coffee shop at the mall. I’ll be there in thirty.

And now I was spiraling. She trimmed my hair and gave me a deep conditioning treatment, making small talk along the way, and I nodded through it, but my mind wasn’t there at all.

I was running through exactly what I was going to say, word for word, in my head as my hair was getting blow-dried.

I’m sorry I put you in a hard spot, but what you said to me was not okay.

I don’t want it to be like this between us.

If you don’t want to go, that’s fine, but at least let me help with other things.

The anxious rumblings in my head only got worse when I got there. And once I was sitting there, pretty and pampered with matcha between my newly manicured nails, I started thinking that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to meet him in person.

I didn't know what he wanted to talk to me about. I didn't know if he was going to berate me again, even though I was sure I wasn’t going to just take it. But he was my brother, so I would take the chance because I loved him. And it broke my heart that we weren't talking.

When he walked in, my breath caught. He looked awful . Deep bags under his eyes, rumpled clothes, hair a mess.

What the fuck happened? Is this because of what happened with Aunt Kathy?

His eyes met mine, and a small, easy smile spread across his face. His entire body sagged as if he was letting out a sigh of relief.

He maneuvered through the small shop and took a seat across from me. I pushed a hot latte toward him. He looked like he needed it.

“Thanks,” he muttered, his eyes falling to the table. “And thanks for meeting me.”

“You’re my brother.” I reached over to hold his hand. “Regardless of what happened, I will always be here for you.”

“About that,” he said and cleared his throat. He sat up straight, his eyes finally meeting mine. “Ever since you left the hospital, I just felt so bad. The guilt is eating me alive, Juliette. I’m so sorry. I let her get inside my head with her comments and thoughts and I shouldn’t have.”

My heart broke at his words. He sounded so… broken. Regardless of how rude he’d been to me, I didn’t want my brother to feel this way. Ever. I’d rather take whatever they gave me tenfold than see him hurt like this.

“Hey, hey ,” I said, dropping my voice. “It’s okay. I get it. How is Aunt Kathy doing, by the way?”

To be honest, I didn’t really care, but seeing that it caused my brother stress also messed with me.

“Better now that everything is paid for. She doesn’t know I’m here. After you walked away, she wanted nothing to do with you. The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. The way she spoke to you… The way she talked about us…”

“Lucas, she’s a horrible person. And I can’t wait for you to get out of there.” His words dawned on me. “Wait. Everything is paid for?” I asked, an eerie feeling creeping up now.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, giving me a look. “By you. That’s why I’m here. To say thank you. I know she never would.”

I didn't like my aunt. I didn’t like her when I was younger, and I surely didn't like her after the way she spoke about my brother.

I would never pay for her hospital bills. Especially when it was her own fault that she didn't have insurance.

I also knew that she had money stashed away. I didn't know exactly how much, but I knew it had to be a comfortable amount.

“Why would you think I paid for it?” I asked, lowering my voice to a whisper. “Especially when you implied I was selling myself for money and she literally called me a whore .”

His fingers gripped the cup tighter.

“That was wrong of me. I didn’t mean it and I hope you know I'm sorry. I just… I don't wanna go to college. There . I said it.”

He looked up at me, his face completely serious.

“I'm done with school, Juliette. I know I planned to go, I know we talked about it, but people change. I’m not the same kid who used to love TV shows with college roommates and think that was the awesomest thing ever.” He paused for a second.

“I know you always wanted the best for me, and you want me to succeed, but I would much rather do something else with my life.”

I ground my teeth together. He was right. He had the right to change and choose his own path in life.

“Lucas… I get it. But you still need a plan,” I said, urging him to look me in the eyes. “You don't have to take my money if it offends you so much. But I just want you to be able to provide for yourself.”

Regret was clear on his face.

“It doesn't offend me, Juliette. I was just taken off guard when I put two and two together. You and your boss?—”

“I’m going to stop you there. To be honest, whatever you think is your problem, not mine. What Lux and I have is our business, and only our business. Hopefully one day you’ll understand it.”

He paused again at my tone. Lux was right. I wasn’t just going to take it anymore. I didn’t deserve it.

“I’m… I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I don’t have an issue with Lux and you together or with the money. I just don't want it for college.”

Hope sparked in my chest and a smile threatened to pull at my lips.

“Then what do you want it for?” I asked, leaning forward.

“Trade school,” he said, looking up at me hesitantly. “I wanna be a lineman. You know, those people who fix the power lines? That’s what I want to do.”

I was taken aback both by his honesty and by what he had decided on as a career.

“Okay,” I said after a moment, my voice trailing off. “You don't have to go to college. I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. If this is what you want and you're serious about it… I’m more than willing to pay for everything.”

For the first time in a while, his face lit up with a smile, and suddenly everything else faded into the background.

This is what I really wanted when I offered to pay for his college tuition. For him to be happy.

It was never really about college at all. Yes, I thought it would give him an advantage in life and make it so he could get a high-paying job and never worry about money.

But at the end of the day, all I wanted was to see him happy.

I squeezed his hand.

“I don't want to fight with you.” My tone was soft. “You're my brother, and I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, holding my smile, but then just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. “So you're positive it wasn't you? The money, I mean. It was in your name.”

“No,” I said, and took a sip from my matcha.

But what I didn't tell him was that I knew exactly who it had come from, and I was not going to let it slide.