Page 14

Juliette

“Y ou can’t be serious.” Harmony’s arms were crossed in front of her chest, her eyes narrowed at our landlady.

I had been pulled into an emergency meeting as soon as I got home from my thorough fucking with Lux. We said we’d stop, but it was almost impossible to tear ourselves apart from each other, even after a third time.

I could still feel her touch on my skin. The scent of her cologne was woven into my clothing, giving me a whiff of her every time I moved.

I wanted to take them off and wash them immediately to try and forget the massive mistake we had made, but I didn’t have the chance because, when I got home, all the lights were on and everyone in the house, plus the landlady, was waiting for me in the living room.

Sensing this was serious, I took a seat next to Harmony, who was in an all-pink matching pajama set, waiting for the news.

When she told us what she had gone there to say, all chaos broke loose. I had to hold onto Harmony’s sleeve to stop her from getting up and getting in the landlady’s face.

“There are laws about this,” Erin said with a huff. She was wearing an all-black ensemble, her makeup-less face showing just how tired of it all she was.

“I’m giving you girls a week,” Patricia said. She was wearing a gaudy fur coat and too-big-for-her-face sunglasses, and her black hair was cut into a bob.

She looked like a wannabe mob wife. and not the cool kind. The kind who liked to show that they were rich. Those who would buy expensive clothing and drive new cars even year but never gave anything back—the stingiest when it came to giving some away or helping out.

But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to move out with the money, but every other place in the area or close to Lucas was far too expensive for me to go it alone, especially if I wanted it to last.

Since leaving my aunt’s place at the ripe age of seventeen and a half, I had never lived alone. Never had the money to.

Even with money now, I was still panicking.

The money is for Lucas. To pay our debt. Not for something like this.

“Can’t your daughter wait?” I asked. “I mean, at least thirty days so we all have enough time to find a place? That’s the least you can do, right? Most laws state you have to give us thirty days.”

“I didn’t know you were all lawyers,” she said with a sneer. “You’re lucky I’m even giving you a week. There’s no more discussion on this. Geez! To think I was nice enough to give you a heads-up. I could have just walked in here and demanded you move right away.”

“This is totally illegal,” April muttered. “But we don’t have enough money to hire a lawyer.”

“That’s what she’s banking on,” Harmony said, her voice dripping with disdain. “That we’re too poor to fight back. Or too scared to try.”

Patricia huffed and turned to leave.

“One week, ladies! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wedding to prepare for!”

She left the house, slamming the door as she did. We were left in tense silence for a moment as we all tried to come up with our own version of a plan.

“Who gives their daughter a fucking house as a wedding present?” Harmony muttered, kicking the dining room table we were all gathered around.

My mind was already hazy from all the stuff I shouldn’t have done with Lux, and I couldn’t even begin to think of what I would do next.

“Well, I’m fucked.” Erin pulled out her phone. “My job barely pays enough for this place. Though maybe this is my sign to move back in with my parents and save a bit to buy my own.”

“In this economy?” Harmony scoffed. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to buy my own.”

“A girl should have some goals, Harmony,” Erin said pointedly.

I stood, sending the group a sheepish smile when they looked at me. I had nothing to say, nor did I really have the brain space for it right now.

My Lux-induced buzz had come to a screeching halt, giving me whiplash with just how fast it all turned. All I wanted was to go to bed and think about this tomorrow.

So that’s what I would do. There was no use pushing myself to come up with something when I couldn’t get my brain to work. And honestly, I’d probably do more harm than good right now.

“Sorry, guys, I’m beat. And I need some time to consider my options.”

None of them said anything, all obviously in their own world, desperate to figure out where they would be next week.

“Right, that’s fine,” Harmony finally said, perking up. Her hand came to rest on my back. “Go get some rest.”

“Sleep well, Julie,” April added in a low voice. She wasn't looking at me but instead looking at her hands on her lap as she messed with her nails.

“Don’t forget, it’s Waffle Wednesday tomorrow,” Erin reminded. There is a small but forced smile on her face.

“How could I forget?” I gasped. “But I have to be at work early to send off my kid. So could y’all maybe get up at like… sixish? ”

“Oh, absolutely not,” Erin said with a frown. “We’ll just save some for you.”

“I can get up,” April offered, sending me a look. We both knew I wouldn't subject her to the hell of early mornings.

I actually like the early mornings. The quiet when no one was awake and no one could bother me. It was just me, myself, and whatever I had to do, when stress from the world hadn’t sunk in yet and I was left to daydream about everything that could be.

“You’d be the only one,” Harmony said. “I haven’t gotten up that early in years.”

I gave them a smile. I knew what their answer would be. “Then after work. Save me some, and maybe we can talk about everyone’s plans.”

There were a few nods and goodnights as I left. I hurried back to my room, locking myself in it.

Shit.

I sank back against my door, all the energy and breath leaving me.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Before I could talk myself out of it, I typed a quick message to Lux. My fingers paused on the keyboard, and I added one thing I knew she’d love.

Me

Sir, just to confirm. I’m not actually fired and should def report for duty tomorrow, right?

My heart hammered in my chest as I waited for a reply. Seconds ticked by before my phone buzzed twice.

Lux Sterling

See you tomorrow, Angel.

* * *

I walked into the house one more time on Wednesday morning, not knowing what to expect. How to act.

I mean, we had broken the biggest fucking rule there was. Repeatedly. No matter how good it felt.

Bella was at the island, and Lux was sitting there with her iPad and phone in hand, looking as serious as ever.

When Bella looked up at me, I saw an embarrassed look crossing her face.

“Juliette…”

“Don’t worry about it, Bella,” I said and rounded the island, smoothing down her hair. “Are you feeling better?”

She smiled, and all the tension went away. Only then did I realize she was probably worried I’d be mad at her for her little outburst. My heart melted at that.

“A lot!” she said with a wide smile. “Can we go get the bows today?”

“Of course!” I reached into my purse, glad I remembered to bring some from my own collection. It was severely lacking in comparison to what a little girl her age needed, but it was something. “We can get some more, but I brought a pink one, a black glittery one?—”

Her gasp had warmth expanding in my chest.

“The black glittery one is so cute!”

I let out a chuckle and gave it to her before placing the rest on the counter. As she was looking at it, a brush and water were pushed across the counter to me by Lux.

I looked up at her, my heart skipping a beat when she met my gaze.

Memories of the day before flashed through my mind.

Her tongue against mine. Her hands on my waist. Her fingers inside me. I was so tired, but I had still tossed and turned all night just thinking about it.

God, I want more. I need more.

It was a mistake. I knew it was. I reached out to take the stuff, my fingers brushing across Lux’s. Her eyes had a light to them that told me she too was thinking about what happened, and I took a shaky inhale, trying not to show how affected I was by just a simple touch.

Lux retreated slowly, her hand flexing and nails digging into the counter as she stared at me.

Fuck. We were so fucked. Whatever arbitrary rules we’d made to protect Bella and keep this strictly professional had gone straight out the window. But as I took the stuff and began to do Bella’s hair as she ate, all I could think about was how much I needed this job.

And not just for the money. That’s what was even more dangerous.

“Is it okay if I pick Bella up for lunch today?” I asked Lux.

“Yes!” Bella answered for her, but I kept my eyes on Lux. She put down her iPad, a smile pulling at her lips.

“How about we all go together?” she offered, surprising me. “Where do you want to go, Bella?”

Lunch with Lux? My heart skipped in my chest. It was so normal yet so… intimate. Like something a normal couple would do.

Bella jutted out her lower lip. “Can I have time to think about it?”

“Sure,” Lux said and got up. “If that’s the case, I’m off so I can catch up on some work and meet you later. Have a good day at school, Bella.”

“Bye, Lux!”

I was stuck watching Lux’s retreating form with my heart pounding in my chest.

She hadn’t fired me, which was a good thing. But I hadn’t even begun to bring up the apartment issue and how I’d likely need a few days off to figure it out.

I was going to keep this job for the time being, meaning I would need to be close to here. Which meant moving further away from my aunt’s, and there was no telling I’d even be able to get a place in this area.

“Ready to get dressed and go?” I asked Bella.

But she was silent. I leaned forward to look at her, and her smile was gone, a more serious expression taking its place.

“You okay, Bella?”

She peeked at me before her eyes fell to the pink bow in her hands.

“I… Um… I—” She let out a long breath. It was shaky toward the end, and I immediately stopped what I was doing and placed my hands on her shoulders.

“What is it?” I asked in the lightest voice I could manage.

“I… miss my parents.” She whispered it as if she didn't want anyone else to hear. As if she were telling me a secret. I immediately felt even worse for her. I had told Lux that she couldn't just push it down this way, and I wasn't going to let her do that either.

“I know,” I said, and slowly wrapped my arms around her. She paused for a moment before I felt a few tears fall onto my arms.

I didn't say anything. I didn't move. I barely breathed as I let her decompress in my arms again.

It didn't get past me that it happened right after Lux left. I had a feeling that she was maybe trying to keep it together for her aunt.

“Can I tell you something?”

She nodded.

“I lost my parents too. It's been years, but I still miss them every day.” My voice caught at the end, and suddenly I was the one fighting back tears.

I remembered it clearly. The look on the officers’ faces as they came to knock on the door. Lucas and I had been alone, and I had no idea what to do when they gave me the news that both our parents had died in an accident. Hit and run. Probably a drunk driver , they’d said.

It was inconceivable. I mean, they hadn’t even been gone that long, and now they were never coming back.

Everything after that was a blur. Between taking care of my brother, going to the police station, trying to make it work with my aunt, and then also trying to go to school and thinking about college… It had been too much.

So I had no idea how Bella was keeping all this stress and grief inside her small body without feeling like she was going to explode.

Her hands came up to grab my arms, returning my hug.

“I don't want to feel this way. I just want them back.”

“I know, sweetie.”

She took a deep breath and leaned back into me.

“My mom used to do my hair,” she said. “This pink bow, it's like the one she got me for Christmas.”

I swallowed the knot in my throat, unsure what to say.

“It's okay to feel this way. The bad feeling inside us—the heaviness—it’s because of how much we loved them. Just because some emotions don't feel good doesn't mean we should ignore them. We feel things for a reason, and the more you push it away, the worse it'll get.”

“When will it be over?”

I pulled away and started finishing her hair.

“Every person is different,” I said. “I still miss mine. But it does hurt less now.”

She turned to me, her eyes red from the tears, but I was happy to see that they were not falling anymore.

“I'm sorry about your parents.”

I wondered how many times she heard that before to know she had to repeat it.

“I'm sorry about yours.” My eyes shot to the clock on the wall. “Do you still feel like going to school? If it's too much, I can have Lux call in sick for you.”

She shook her head.

“I feel better now,” she said and sent me a smile. “Plus, I want to show off my bow. And if I don't get to school, how can you take me out for lunch?”

I couldn't help but smile back at her.

“You’re right. Let’s go! Are you ready?”

“Yep!”

She bounded off the chair and ran to the door, all the tears and grief slowly dissipating. Kids were amazing. I knew she was hurting, and I knew most of the time she was putting on a brave face for her aunt, but seeing how well she could bounce back was astonishing.

I took my time in the kitchen, trying to push away my own grief that sprouted after sharing what happened to my own parents.

But that wasn’t the only thing.

I took Bella to school, avoiding the look on Marci’s face. Maybe she was surprised I didn’t get fired. Maybe she could see right through me.

That didn’t matter.

Once I was back in the house and alone, I realized that I had no idea how to do this.

The truth was, I didn’t want to lose my job. I didn’t want to move on.

It wasn’t about the money. It was about Lux, but not just about her.

It was Bella.

The real question was, what the fuck was I supposed to do now?