Page 12 of Love at First Sight

In the kitchen area I get a good look at Vinnie-slash-Cal through the window, where he’s playing Ali’s dutiful boyfriend on the outdoor sofa, pouring their wine.

God! He didn’t even tell me his real name!

I’m such a mug. I wanted so terribly to have a romance that I just went ahead and invented one out of thin air.

Not that this is all my fault. Who the hell does he think he is, spending random Sundays with girls from the supermarket and making them think love at first sight could exist?

What a pig. This ‘nice guy’ Ali thinks she’s found is absolutely not good enough for Henry, or Ali.

It’s all there, isn’t it; the writing is on the wall: this spells disaster, for all of us.

I busy myself tidying away Henry’s craft supplies as Vinnie-slash-Cal is introduced to him outside. Obviously I’d normally expect Henry to clean up after himself, but I’m thankful for the distraction.

Henry rushes back in. ‘Vinnie got me Lego!’ he says, excitedly. ‘Jessie, look!’

‘Oh my gosh, you love Guardians !’ I say, taking the box and giving it all my focus.

I can feel ‘Vinnie’ staring at us through the open patio door but if I look up and meet his eye I might burst into tears.

I’m angry, but I’m sad, too, heat rising in my chest like the lava of a volcano.

I have to be smart about this: Ali will shoot the messenger if I try to make a scene and out him here and now.

She’ll be embarrassed, and somehow it will be my fault for ruining her grand plans of ‘beating’ Thom at the break-up.

Instead I silently seethe and try not to cry.

‘Dinner is in twenty minutes,’ announces Ali, coming back through.

‘Jessie, would you mind putting a pot of salted water on for the pasta? I’m going to show Vinnie the garden properly.

’ She doesn’t wait for my answer, instead turning her attention to ’Vinnie’ and saying, ‘It’s my little haven out there, as you might have guessed’ as she leads him off by the arm.

I put the water on to boil and then lean against the breakfast bar. ‘You good?’ I ask Henry.

‘Yeah,’ he says, not sounding hugely convinced. ‘Will you stay in here with me and help me build this?’

I smile. ‘We can open it, but I don’t think there will be time to build it before dinner. How about we get all the bits out and sort them by colour, so it’s really easy when we come to play with it later?’

Henry nods. He takes Lego assembly very seriously, and loves the system Thom insists on for building.

We open bags and make piles of pieces, and I don’t encourage conversation because I am desperately trying to eavesdrop on what’s being said outside.

What I don’t get is why Cal lied to me about his name in particular.

That’s psycho behaviour. Ali has invited an actual psychopath into her home.

Part of me worries if he’s even safe to be around, pulling crazy shit like that.

Once the water is boiling I stick my head outside to let Ali know.

‘I can do a lot of things,’ I say, deliberately not looking at Vinnie. ‘But I cannot risk my life interfering with your spag bol.’

Ali laughs her flirty laugh, putting on a show.

‘Excuse me,’ she says to Vinnie, getting up from the couch. ‘I won’t be a moment. Jessie, will you keep him company for me?’

She’s gone before I can object, but at least it gives me chance to sit in the garden chair opposite him and hiss, ‘Vinnie? Really? Why did you tell me your name was Cal?’

He leans forward in his seat, forearms on his thighs, eyes annoyingly dark and cute. I deepen my scowl as protection.

‘My name is Cal,’ he says. ‘Calvin. Ali started calling me Vinnie as a joke after our first date, and it’s kind of stuck.’

I roll my eyes.

‘Pathetic,’ I say, right as Ali reappears.

‘What is?’ she asks, coming to stand behind her man, hands fondly on his shoulders.

‘I can’t build Lego,’ Cal says, quickly. ‘I was just saying it’s good Jessie can help with Henry’s Lego, because I’m absolutely useless. Always have been. Just don’t have the patience.’

‘Calling him pathetic is a bit harsh!’ Ali laughs. ‘I can’t do Lego either!’

I don’t want to play along, but I don’t see what choice I have. ‘Good job you keep me around then, isn’t it? Although I will have to duck out soon, if that’s okay, Ali? So the rest of the Lego building will have to happen tomorrow, if you don’t mind the bits staying out.’

‘Of course not,’ she says. ‘And yes, you get off. You’ve been a lifesaver, sticking around.’ She turns to yell inside: ‘Henry? Jessie is going!’

Henry comes outside and gives me a hug, and I whisper in his ear: ‘Do you need the special code word or is it all going to be okay?’

‘It’s okay,’ whispers Henry. ‘But can banana-poo-head be our code forever? For everyone?’

I look at Cal/Vinnie as I whisper back, ‘Of course it can. Some people are banana-poo-heads , aren’t they?’

Henry giggles, and I leave them to their evening as I slip out the front door, where I have to lean against the railings to catch my breath.

Unbelievable.

Absolutely un-fucking-believable.