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Celebrate Recovery

E ach Sunday I left Reflections filled with God’s love. I joined Wednesday night Bible study, which deepened my faith and understanding of the Word. The community welcomed Shelley and me. Life was amazing.

I’d often reminisce about the work I’d done with abused women at Praise Him Bible Church. I enjoyed giving back, sharing my sobriety story and my love for Jesus. I longed for an opportunity to contribute to my new community.

That opportunity came in the form of Celebrate Recovery, a faith-based, twelve-step recovery program I’d learned about from a client a year after I joined Reflections. They encouraged me to read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, a forty-two-day study guide, which provided daily meditation and steps to help discover and live your life’s purpose.

As I worked my way through each day, I thought about the self-help books I’d read during my addiction. I asked myself if my life would’ve been different if I’d discovered Rick Warren’s book earlier. Once again, I came to the realization that I needed to go through the pain, suffering, and confusion to get to where I was at that moment. I no longer carried regrets about my past, only joy in my present and the will to create a better future for myself and those I might help.

Celebrate Recovery began in 1991 at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, with support and study groups for codependency and chemical dependency. The difference between Alcoholics Anonymous and Celebrate Recovery was Celebrate’s focus on Christianity. In the years since its inception, the organization had become worldwide, bringing the healing power of Christ to those in need. By the time I’d found the organization, it had spread beyond churches to recovery houses, rescue missions, prisons, and universities.

What I loved about Celebrate Recovery was its emphasis on recovery, not only for substances but for pain and addiction of any kind. I summoned up the courage to speak to Assistant Pastor Robert at Bible study.

“Have you heard about Celebrate Recovery?” I asked.

“There are several groups here in the Phoenix area,” Robert said. “I could recommend a group if you’re interested.”

“Actually, I thought we could start a group here at Reflections.”

His eyes lit up. “Let me talk it over with the other pastors. I’ll get back to you.”

“Thanks, Robert.”

“No, thank you, Ava.”

I loved Reflection’s willingness to explore new ideas. Within a month, we had a team of four, including me, that formed our own Celebrate Recovery group. We began with a Saturday evening meeting in which members were invited to share their story or, in Celebrate Recovery’s words, give their testimony. From there, we formed a study group on Tuesday evenings in which we discussed their twelve steps and eight principles, all faith-based.

Members arrived with issues of anger, resentment, codependency, addiction, and more. Through studying, journaling, and sharing, we worked through our hurts, habits, and hang-ups. We became aware of the difference between making amends to those we’ve hurt versus lip service. We learned to avoid worry by staying present in the moment.

The greatest lesson for me was to stop searching for approval and to stop feeling unworthy of love. I came to trust in God’s love for me, flawed and imperfect as I am. I continue to pray one day my children will find it in their hearts to forgive me and truly know the depth of my love for them.

At times, I wished I’d gotten sober through Celebrate Recovery rather than Alcoholics Anonymous, but then I’d remind myself that AA had worked for me for thirteen years. Instead, I chose to celebrate my journey and express gratitude for who I had been and who I am at this moment.

As I did in AA, I began sponsoring other women.

My first question to a new member is always, “What are you getting out of your addiction, your thought process, or your codependency?”

Invariably, they’d reply, “Nothing.”

“That’s not true,” I’d say. “You have to be getting something or you’d get out.”

Some women would become defensive, others angry or confused.

“Change is scary. By staying in your addiction, you don’t have to change. Your misery becomes your safety net. It’s always easier to stay where you are. Chase sobriety as hard as you chased your drug. Don’t think of your life as over; think of your new life in Christ.”

I’d watch their expressions and body language. Some women broke down; some got it, and others didn’t. I’d celebrate those who tore down the curtain of denial and pray for those who weren’t ready.

I give my testimony at Celebrate Recovery twice a year. I continue to work on myself, and as Celebrate Recovery says, I turned my mess into a message.

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I’ve found my calling—to help free abused, broken-hearted women from their prison. My greatest joy in life is watching their growth and transformation, knowing God is working through me every minute of every day.