Page 4 of Living for Truth (Broken Shelves #2)

Morgan

A nother date, another fail. Why is it so hard to find someone to date?

Oh, I know. I live in Utah, the Mormon capital of the world.

Literally. Their headquarters are in Salt Lake.

Here, no one wants to be with a guy who already has a school-aged kid. They’re all too focused on starting their own families, and they see my sweet Alyssa as baggage they don’t want to carry.

Not to mention I’m not part of their little “book club,” so that’s another mark against me.

The gay and bi guys are apparently allergic to commitment, and the women seem averse to being a step-mom to a kid who can form her own thoughts. I think if Aly were a baby, it might be different, but I can’t change her age.

I’m too old to play this fucking dating game.

Cocky as it sounds, I thought people would be jumping at the chance to date a former wide receiver for the Denver Mustangs, but I guess when you aren’t a Super Bowl champion, the NFL title kind of loses the allure, especially coupled with the single dad factor.

Blake was nice enough, but when I asked him if he wanted kids, he said, “I think kids are the worst. They’re loud, they’re gross, and they don’t have boundaries.

I’m too selfish to want to take care of someone else.

” Which is valid. If you don’t want kids, you don’t want kids.

And it’s okay to be selfish and not want to take care of a whole-ass human.

But I already have a kid, and I will not be giving her up for someone else. She and I are a package deal.

I finished the date because I’m not a total ass, but there’s no way there’ll be a second.

Bagel, my gray striped cat, ambles over and curls up on my lap. He always knows when I need some extra cuddles. I got him when Aly was barely a year old, thinking it would be great to have her grow up with a furry little buddy. He’s very calm, and he’s been the perfect companion for us.

Unlike his asshole little brother, Bean.

Bean was just a kitten when we found him behind the flower shop two years ago, and Alyssa refused to leave him there.

He was so tiny, and his cries were so sad, I relented.

We took him to a vet and got him started on his vaccines, and he and Bagel seemed to hit it off.

He was calm for the first week, then he became a little black void of chaos.

He likes Alyssa but hates me and everyone else.

I reflect on my date while I stroke Bagel’s fur, my lips tipping up when I remember I wasn’t the only one on a bad date.

At least my date didn’t kiss me with a greasy hamburger mouth.

What a wild coincidence that I accidentally texted the wrong number and that number just so happens to belong to a girl who also went on a bad date.

Maybe it’s a sign from the universe I should get to know Hannah. Or maybe I’m just lonely as fuck and want someone new to talk to.

Either way, I text her again.

Morgan: I’m sorry your date didn’t go well.

The three dots appear, disappear, and reappear a few times until she finally responds.

Hannah: Thanks? Same goes to you, I guess.

Hannah: But tbh, you could use some new excuses. He’s out of your league? How original. *eyeroll emoji*

Okay, rude.

But she’s right. It wasn’t very original.

Morgan : Ok, fine.

Morgan : It was totally unoriginal. BUT I wasn’t lying. Blake is cool and hot and way out of my league.

Hannah : Then why didn’t it work out?

God knows why I want to tell a complete stranger the failings of my love life.

Hannah seems… nosy. Straightforward. Sassy.

It’s a refreshing change from people pitying me for being a single dad. But she doesn’t know that about me yet.

Morgan : He lives his life based on astrology and I… don’t? I guess that’s the simple answer.

Morgan: For example, I asked him out, and he said we would have to wait for the full moon because it’s the best time for starting romance.

Hannah : …Alright, that's a little odd.

Hannah : I can see how that would be off-putting if you’re not into that

Hannah : It’s like dating someone outside of your religion if you’re super religious

Morgan : Exactly. We also just have different life goals and aspirations.

Morgan : Why didn’t your date work out?

Morgan: Other than the greasy tongue thing

Hannah: Do you want my reason or what my mom thinks?

Morgan: Your reason, obviously. Who cares what your mom thinks?

Hannah : Everyone cares what my mom thinks.

Hannah : He didn’t ask me a single thing about myself. He told me I should order a salad, not a burger, and then he talked about crypto currency the entire time.

Morgan : What an asshole.

Morgan: Why would he care about what you eat?

I watch as, once again, the three dots appear and disappear. After five minutes, I assume she’s just going to stop talking to me. I don’t know why that disappoints me so much.

Hannah : I don’t know. Because I’m a woman?

Morgan: It’s probably because he’s got a small dick.

Hannah : OMG, you did not just say that!!!

Hannah: You’re probably not wrong.

Hannah : But I wouldn’t know, and I will never find out.

Morgan: Good. He probably can’t find the clit anyway.

Hannah: Why do men struggle with that? It’s not like it’s difficult.

Morgan: Good question. I ask myself that all the time.

Hannah: It will go down in the history books as one of the many mysteries of the world.

Hannah : How did you end up texting the wrong number if you were already on a date with the guy?

Morgan: Blake and I were talking through Hinge, and he didn’t want to exchange numbers until we met in person. I don’t know why I texted you AGAIN, though. I guess I was hoping maybe we could be friends. I don’t have many.

Hannah: That makes sense. I understand not having many friends too, unfortunately.

Hannah : What if I didn’t respond?

Morgan: I would have left you alone. I don’t try to force things that aren’t supposed to happen.

Hannah: You mean… you let the UNIVERSE decide?

Morgan : uuuuuggggghhhh NO! Lol.

Morgan : But I can’t MAKE you text back, so why would I keep bothering you?

Hannah: Fair point.

Hannah: I need to get to sleep, but you can text me again sometime, I guess. I could always use a new friend.

Morgan: Same. Thank you. Sweet dreams, friend. :)

Hannah: Back at ya :)

I check the time and realize it is getting kind of late. It’s Saturday, and the shop’s closed tomorrow, but Aly gets up early no matter what day it is, so I should call it a night.

I swipe through some potential matches on Hinge, but no one really stands out. There’s been no… spark with anyone. I’m starting to wonder if I’m destined to be a single dad forever.

I go through the motions of getting ready for bed, check in on my baby girl who’s not a baby anymore, and lay down in the massive king-sized bed that feels extra empty tonight.

I’m tired of being lonely.

I’m tired of not being able to share Alyssa’s milestones and troubles, and I’m tired of not having someone to lay in bed with and debrief about our days.

I don’t want random hookups and flings anymore.

I want a life partner.