Page 31 of Living for Truth (Broken Shelves #2)

Hannah

F or the first time in my life, I didn’t see my mother on Mother’s Day.

People always argue, “That’s so harsh! She’s your family! Blood is thicker than water.” Blah, blah, blah.

It was poor timing on her part to give me a two week move out timeframe right before Mother’s Day. If she wanted me to pretend everything was okay and celebrate the day, then she shouldn’t have scolded me like a child and kicked me out for no good reason.

It’s been a strange week, adjusting to living completely on my own. I moved straight out of my parents’ house and into an apartment with Liam when we got married, so I’ve never had a space that was completely mine.

I can listen to whatever music I want, I can walk around in a tank top and short shorts without getting judged for not wearing garments, and I can eat whatever I want without my mother’s judgmental gaze watching my every bite.

It’s Saturday, which means it’s concert day. Elli and Emma will be coming over any minute to get lunch and go shopping, then we’ll come back here to get ready.

Morgan wants to come to dinner with us to get to know Emma and Elli, and as nervous as I am for them to meet, it makes me a little giddy he wants to spend time with them. He offered to be designated driver tonight, too, so I could “let loose,” he said.

It will be the first time my cousins and I will be together since all of us left the church, so I think a few drinks are in order. I’m not going to get drunk, though, because Morgan and I need to have a conversation, and I want to be coherent when it happens.

I texted him last week to make sure everything with Aly was okay, and he assured me she would be fine. On Wednesday when I came home from work, he was sitting outside the shop in his car so I invited him up, and he told me all about what happened on Saturday.

I was shocked. I’m still feeling outraged on Aly’s behalf at the audacity of her mom and my ex-husband. I’m glad Morgan is an amazing dad and would protect Aly at all costs.

I’m just finishing the dishes when my phone pings from a text. I wipe my hands on a dish towel, and this time when the butterflies erupt at the sight of Morgan’s name on my phone, I don’t try to push them away.

Morgan: A package for you got delivered here by mistake. Do you want me to bring it up ?

A package? What did I—

Oh shit.

I don’t bother to text him back, just slip my shoes on and rush out the door, down the steps, and in through the back door of the shop.

I round the corner to the counter to see Morgan typing on the tablet at the front. Thankfully, the store is empty, so I clear my throat to alert him of my presence.

He turns around and grins, “Hey, Butterfly.” He holds up the hot pink mailer bag, “This is for you. What’d you get?”

I’m not a great liar, and it’s not embarrassing to order underwear. Everyone wears it.

So why am I shy about the fact I ordered it? Probably because I ordered a specific set with him in mind.

Mustering more courage than I actually feel, I shrug a shoulder and casually say, “New… clothes.”

Morgan’s eyebrows raise skeptically as I take the package from him. “Oh,” his voice sounds a little strained. “Cool.”

“Yeah!” My voice sounds unnaturally high, and I can’t seem to stop the words from spewing out of me.

“Now that I’m not at home, I don’t have to keep the pretenses up and wear garments anymore.

With summer right around the corner I’m not trying to get heat stroke, either.

Can’t wear sleeveless sundresses with garments!

Actually, I might not even wear a bra with them. ” Why the fuck did I say that?

Morgan blinks, then runs a hand over his beard, his face turning red. “Right. Sure. Well… I hope they fit?”

Dear God, why is this so awkward?

I let out a strained laugh. “Thanks. Uh, I better get back upstairs. Emma and Elli are picking me up soon.”

Right as I say it, the bell above the door rings and in walks a familiar head of blonde curls followed by an equally familiar head of dark hair.

“Speak of the devils.” I smile, rounding the counter to greet them. “Hey, you two!”

Emma and Elli simultaneously turn to me and grin.

Emma looks so different than when we were kids, though the one constant has been her curly blonde hair and piercing, ice blue eyes.

She’s barely over five feet tall, but she’s the feistiest out of the three of us.

She has a gold piercing in her right nostril, her right arm covered in a full tattoo sleeve, and the rest of her body is littered with random artwork as well.

She’s wearing ripped denim shorts, a hot pink, cropped, balloon-sleeve corset top and matching hot pink, sparkly ankle boots.

She reminds me of a shorter, curly-haired, plus size Barbie.

Elli is dressed in a floral pattern jumpsuit with wide straps and black sandals. Her long hair is pulled back by a black headband, and she looks both the same and different. She looks happier than I’ve ever seen her.

“Damn, Elli, your hair’s gotten so long since the last time I saw you.” I give her a hug, marveling at the chocolate waves with caramel highlights. When I saw her last August, she had cut it to just below her shoulders, now it’s a good six inches longer.

“Well your hair is so much shorter! I love it!” Elli fluffs the ends of my hair.

“Emma, your hair looks gorgeous as ever,” I tease, hugging her next.

“Yeah, yeah. I like what I like. What can I say? I love the post-divorce bob, Hannah. It suits you.” Emma glances around the shop. “We wanted to check this cute shop out before we came up. Do you know the owner?”

I may have omitted that Morgan is the owner, and that he offered me the place to live. It never came up in conversation so I just didn’t say anything.

Morgan steps up next to me, “I’m Morgan, the owner. And Hannah’s… friend.” He extends his hand to Emma, who tilts her head and gives him an assessing look while she shakes it.

“Emma,” she says. “Morgan… Fowler? Like the Mustangs’ wide receiver?”

Morgan just gives her a nod, and she gives me a wicked grin.

Elli gives me a smirk and shakes his hand as well. “Nice to meet you, Morgan. I’m Elli.”

“A pleasure, ladies. I’ll let you all catch up, and I’ll see you at five to pick you up?” Morgan looks to me for confirmation, and I nod. “Perfect. Have fun, Butterfly.” He gives me a squeeze on the arm as he walks back to the counter.

Butterfly? Emma mouths with a quirked eyebrow.

I huff a laugh. “Come on, let me grab my purse, so we can get lunch and you can ask me your questions.”

They follow me out the back and up to my apartment where they “ooo” and “ahh” about all the little details.

I tell them how Morgan and his family cleaned the place and set up the shelves and entertainment center, and they swoon.

Once I grab my purse, we head down to my car and pile in to head to Sweet River for lunch .

Emma explains she has a work event when Wes’s tour stops in San Diego, so she decided to come to the Utah show since she’s here for a family event anyway. Though her smile remains bright, it falters slightly at the mention of her family. Elli and I don’t press for more information.

Elli tells us about what life on a tour bus is like, and how she and Wes have become really great friends with the members of the band. She sounds like she’s having a blast traveling with the love of her life, and I couldn’t be happier for her.

Once we sit and order our food, Emma folds her hands in front of her and says, “Now, Hannah. Tell us what’s going on with Hot-Football-Player-Flower-Shop-Man.”

Elli nods her head in agreement, so I spill and tell them everything.

“I don’t want it to be fake anymore,” I admit at the end of my spiel and both of them are staring at me slack-jawed.

Emma shakes her head. “Damn, girl. Your life could be a soap opera. I mean, what are the chances that your ex-husband is dating his ex? I don’t blame you for wanting to make it real, either. That man is F-I-N-E fine. I’d have climbed him like a tree the moment I saw him. I bet he fucks hard.”

I almost spit out my lemonade. “Emma!” I scold, looking around to make sure no one heard us, but she just laughs. I should introduce Emma to Sage. They’d have a blast ganging up on me.

Elli giggles. “It’s weird to hear sex talked about so openly after being in the church so long, huh?”

I just nod my agreement.

“What’s your plan to make this thing not fake?” Elli asks as our waiter brings our entrees.

“I thought I’d tell him the truth tonight. We’ve had two almost-kisses, and I swear I can see the tension between us sometimes. I just worry I’m imagining it.”

“I can assure you you’re not imagining it. That man’s yearning so hard, I could tell in the two-minute interaction we had,” Emma says, and Elli nods in agreement.

“I’m just scared, you know?”

Elli gives me an understanding smile. “I get that. I was nervous to start dating Wes because of past relationships. Our situations aren’t the same, but I’m glad I gave him a chance. He proved to me he was different even before we started dating.”

Emma nods. “I don’t do serious relationships, but if I were to settle down, I would want it to be with someone who looks at me the way Morgan looks at you.”

“ You don’t do serious relationships?” I don’t believe that. Emma has always been the hopeless romantic of the three of us.

She waves me off. “Feelings are too messy. I’m focused on my career right now, so I only need a partner for orgasms.”

Elli looks just as shocked as I do about this little revelation. “The serial monogamists of the world are weeping at the lost opportunity to lock down Emma Price.”

“Well maybe if I found a sexy rockstar who followed me like an adorable lost puppy, or an ex-football player who looked at me like I hung the fucking moon it would be different.” Emma shrugs. “As it stands, you two seem to have found the last good men in the world.”

“What about women?” I ask, since I know Emma’s bi.

“I love women. Women are beautiful, lovely, and perfect, but I still don’t want to settle down.

My ex-girlfriend is one of the reasons I swore off serious dating.

She wanted to get married three months in, started talking about adopting kids or doing IVF, and when I told her I wasn’t ready to get married and I wasn’t sure I wanted kids, she broke up with me and told me I should have been up front with her—which I had been.

So now I make sure it’s crystal clear I don’t want a serious relationship, just sex. ”

“Oh shit. That really sucks, Emma. I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. Emma’s been through more shit than I would ever wish on even my worst enemy, so the fact she’s still so happy-go-lucky is astounding.

Again, Emma waves me off. “It’s all good. I’m happy with my life. Besides, there’s no time for sadness! We have to go find you the perfect outfit for confessing your feelings. One that says ‘take me, Morgan. I’m yours.’”

Once we’ve finished our food, we head out. I thought about taking them with me to the size-inclusive thrift store Alice told me about, but I don’t want to go without her, so we end up at the mall instead where there are—shockingly— three stores that carry plus size options.

The first store is a bust, but it’s nice to have people who understand the struggles of clothes shopping as a fat woman. Sage understands, too, but she makes a lot of her own clothes so we don’t spend much time shopping together.

At the second store, Elli finds a black bodysuit with lace long sleeves on it and a denim mini skirt that’s frayed slightly on the edge. It’s simple, but it looks like it was made for her.

The third store is where Emma and I find our outfits. Emma picks an army green cargo skirt that she’s paired with a plain black baby tee and picks out some black platform sandals to go with it.

The dress I pick is unlike anything I’ve ever worn.

It’s tight, short, and doesn’t have sleeves.

But when I try it on, I immediately try to picture Morgan’s reaction to me in it.

Will he like it? Will he hate I’m showing so much skin?

Will it make him want to shove me against a wall and kiss me senseless?

I guess I’ll find out soon enough.