Page 55 of Lights, Camera, Love

Once we reach the colonial-style building housing the restaurant, we squeeze into the lift with a huddle of chattering, overexcited partygoers.

As Finn presses the button for the fifth floor he accidentally elbows a woman reapplying her lipstick, which smears all over her cheek.

As harmless as this kid is, I’m worried he’s going to spill something on my three-piece suit, so when we reach the party, I snag a beer off a server’s tray and wish him a good night.

He goes to salute me and knocks the side of his hand into his eye, making himself curse and squint.

I stifle a laugh and cast my eyes around the crowded room, searching for a familiar face. For her face. But there’s no sign of Evie.

As I shrug off my jacket, though, my gaze bangs into Austin’s. He’s standing over near the balcony doors with Louis, the boom operator, who, judging from the look on Austin’s face, is in the middle of one of his interminable monologues.

Austin passes me a cautious smile, and I only hesitate for a second before strolling over to him. It still feels a little awkward being around the guy who was once my best friend, my colleague and my housemate, and that’s something I’d like to rectify.

‘… and I’d already been to LA a few times’ are the first words I hear from Louis’s mouth, although I’m certain they won’t be the last. ‘But it was the first time I’d seen rain there.

There were puddles everywhere—I kept slipping.

So, I went to the mall for a while, but then decided to hit Venice Beach because it’d be quiet.

And this man was walking a Pekingese, which reminded me of my mother—’

Austin claps a hand on Louis’s shoulder, interrupting his story.

‘You know what, man? I just love that, no matter what the topic is, you find a way to bring it back to you. It’s actually an impressive skill.

Someone could say to you, “Sorry I’m late; there was traffic,” and the next thing they know, you’re telling them all about the fuckin’ traffic that used to make you late for kindergarten when you were five.

But hey, I’m amazed at how much you know and remember about yourself. You should be proud of that.’

A chuckle slips out of me, and I hide it with a cough into my fist. It’s not like Austin to be so blunt—I think he’s trying to steal my vibe.

‘Catch you later, man,’ he mutters to Louis, who’s finally speechless, then guides me away.

‘Thanks for the rescue,’ Austin says as we find our way to the quieter end of the bar.

‘Louis asked me about my move to LA, and before I could even answer, he was revisiting his own LA glory days, with rain as the star subject. Honestly, it feels like everyone here tonight is trying to suck the life out of me.’

‘Welcome to showbiz,’ I reply with mock brightness.

He chortles and clinks his alcohol-free cider against my beer bottle. ‘It’s good to clap eyes on you, man. I didn’t think you’d be seen dead at that premiere.’

‘Let’s not count our chickens. I’m not sure yet whether I’ll survive being in the same room as all these oxygen thieves.’

Austin throws his head back and laughs, then rakes his gaze over me, two pink dots appearing on his cheeks. ‘So, how’s Melbourne?’

‘It’s all right. Too cold; too hot—depends on which day you ask me. The job’s great, though.’

‘Yeah, it sounds like you’re nailing it. As always.’ His thumb scrapes over the label on his bottle. ‘I’m, uh … I’m heading back to LA next week, after all. I ended up signing with that manager I messaged you about.’

‘Yeah? That’s fucking awesome. Go you.’ I hold up my beer, then take a swig, enjoying a little feeling of satisfaction that Austin appears to be doing well.

He gives the room a once-over. ‘There’s something else I should tell you,’ he adds quietly, leaning closer to me. ‘So, Evie’s friend Rafael … he’s, uh, he’s coming to LA, too. If you … catch my drift?’ He swallows audibly.

I nod, realising, a little sadly, that he doesn’t want anyone to hear this other than me. ‘I catch your drift. And I’m very happy for you.’ I smile, deepening the flush on his cheeks.

‘I’m not going to hide it forever,’ he promises, even though I didn’t ask.

‘I just need the movie to run its course without this taking over, and then I’m going to tell the world who I am.

’ His focus drifts to where Rafael is selecting canapes off a tray.

‘And I’m extremely fuckin’ lucky,’ he adds, ‘because Rafa is supportive of that plan.’

‘I’m proud of you,’ I say.

‘Thanks.’ Austin pauses. ‘You know, it was hard not … not getting what I wanted.’ Our gazes break apart; I glance at the floor.

‘But I think the hardest part was hiding who I was,’ he continues.

‘Who I am. And all this’—he signals around the room—‘is amazing. But if it comes down to this or being myself, then I’m going to choose me.

Because, as much as I love being an actor, I’m getting really tired of pretending to be something I’m not. ’

My eyes mist with admiration as I smile. ‘That might be the most inspiring thing I’ve ever heard. You should think about sharing it with your mum and dad, too.’

He tenses.

‘I know you’re scared of disappointing them,’ I add gently, ‘because of their, let’s be honest, misguided beliefs.

But they love you. They wouldn’t give you such a hard time about your life if they didn’t.

Take it from me, man: if someone doesn’t love you, they’re just not there.

Leah and Jeremy don’t want to lose you any more than you want to lose them.

I’m confident that it’s all going to work out. ’

I cup my hands around his shoulders, looking him square in the eye. ‘And Austin, if who you are isn’t good enough for them? Then they’re not good enough for you.’

‘Fuck, man, don’t make me cry,’ he says hoarsely, blinking fast.

A breath of laughter pushes out of me. He’s right; we’re in public. I back up a touch.

Austin offers me a tight-lipped smile. ‘You know, there’s someone at this party who hasn’t stopped talking about you for the past year.’

‘Someone other than you?’ I taunt.

His eyes narrow playfully. ‘Too soon, bro.’

I nod, smiling at the polished floor. ‘Sorry.’

‘You know who I’m talking about. Evie .’

The swarm of butterflies reawakens in my stomach, and I search his face for evidence that he’s telling the truth. ‘Really?’

‘She tries not to.’ His lips tug into a sad sort of smile.

‘I think she worries that she’ll upset me if she brings you up—or maybe that she’ll upset herself, I don’t know.

Maybe both. But she can’t help mentioning you all the time, despite her best efforts.

And take it from me; I know what longing looks like when I see it. ’

My gaze drops, and I feel Austin’s eyes linger on me.

‘I want you to know, Kye,’ he says softly, ‘that seeing you happy will make me very, very happy—just in a different way to how I imagined. I truly mean that.’

I look back up at him, a rush of painful memories blending with some of the best of my life. ‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘And that goes both ways.’

He opens his arms and smirks with a ‘come to daddy’ sort of look. I can’t help but laugh as I give him a short hug, feeling the rock that’s been lodged behind my chest wall finally come loose.

‘Do you know where Evie is?’ I ask when we step apart. ‘Is she here?’

Austin’s lips quirk. ‘She’s here. Last I saw, she was out on the balcony with Kiara and Brie.’

A blast of nerves hits my stomach. ‘I think I might need some fresh air.’

He chuckles. ‘You sure do, my friend. Don’t wanna pass out from all the oxygen thieves.’ He nods up at the balcony doors. ‘Go. I’ll catch up with you another time. Give me a buzz before you head back to Melbourne.’

‘Will do. I’ll see ya later.’

‘Bye, Kye.’

Austin’s eyes slide over to Rafael, who’s leaning against a marble pillar, laughing with some of the dancers from Evie’s class.

I grab my beer and make my way out onto the spacious balcony overlooking the ink-black water of the harbour.

The bridge sparkles like a lit-up fan beyond the sandstone balustrade, and the distant chorus of car horns and bus brakes bleeds into the cool evening air.

I glance right and left as I edge past the smartly dressed guests standing around the balcony, chatting and laughing, but I can’t catch sight of her anywhere. Don’t tell me she’s already left. Maybe she got tired, or—

A warm hand catches the back of my arm through my pale blue shirt.

‘Groucho,’ Evie says as I turn around, her smile hitting me right in the chest.

‘Firefly.’ I reach for her because I can’t fucking help it, and she sighs against me as her arms slip around my trembling back.

Pulling away quickly, both blushing, we find ourselves trapped in the busy thoroughfare of the doorway.

I gesture to the edge of the balcony. ‘Want to come and check out the view?’

‘Forgotten what this city looks like already, have you?’ She winks and scoops a champagne flute off a passing server’s tray, and I trail after her to the balustrade.

We rest our forearms against the thick stone ledge and stare out at the enormous floating hotel docked at the cruise ship terminal beneath us.

‘So, how’ve you been?’ Evie asks.

‘I’ve been good. Pretty focused on work.

The job has turned out to be a lot more than PR and marketing, which is a good thing.

I’ve set up a bunch of new partnerships with government and community organisations, done lots of fundraising, commissioned research projects—things like that. It’s been a hectic year.’

‘Wow. That’s fantastic.’

‘And what about you?’ I brave a direct look at her. ‘You’re a movie star now. Any plans to move to Hollywood and give the big time a crack?’

She smiles and ducks her head. ‘No, I still don’t think I want to pursue acting. I just want to focus on dance and the studio. But I’ll be visiting the States as much as I can now that I have a little brother over there. He’s so cute.’