Page 50 of Lights, Camera, Love

The timing, the outfit—he evidently came to see me rather than dance, so when my lesson finishes, I shoot Rafael a quick text apologising that I won’t be joining his late class after all.

I’ve got the rest of my life to learn new salsa moves.

Right now, a face-to-face with Kye feels wildly overdue, even though I’m terrified of what he has to say.

Once my students have headed off, I sling my bag over my shoulder and step up to where he’s quietly waiting at the back of the studio.

‘Hi, beautiful,’ he says softly.

Like I’m powerless over my own body, I rise onto my toes and fold my arms around his neck, pressing myself against him. His warm breath feathers over the skin beneath my ear, and he grips me tightly before he pulls back.

‘You didn’t tell me you were coming,’ I say. ‘Why didn’t you do the class?’

He clears his throat. ‘I have somewhere I need to be.’

‘Oh.’ Disappointed, I scan his smart-casual outfit, searching for evidence of what this ‘somewhere’ might be. A place? A person?

‘Evie, can we talk?’ Kye asks, and a flash of fear hits my stomach.

I’m worried I already know what’s coming, but I keep my expression blank. ‘Sure. What is it?’

‘Can we go somewhere? Maybe that sushi place you—’

‘I’d rather talk here.’ If Kye’s going to break things off between us, I have no interest in nori rolls and salmon sashimi. I need to know right now.

‘You sure?’ he asks, glancing around the empty studio.

‘Yeah. I’m meeting Rafael after his class, so it’s just easier to stay here.’ I slip my bag off and sink down onto the wooden bench. The faint thumps of salsa beats drum against my back through the wall.

Kye sits beside me; just the feeling of his heavy thigh leaning against mine is enough to make my chest sting.

Please don’t leave me.

‘How are you?’ he asks gently, his gaze clinging to the side of my face.

‘Oh, that’s a big question. You mean in general or about us?’ I brave a direct glance at him, finding his cheeks pink.

‘In general,’ he murmurs. ‘You heard about the new director on Moving ?’

‘Yeah.’ I nod down at my lap. ‘It’s great news. Fingers crossed she can save it from the brink of Buzz. I mean, death.’

He breathes a light laugh. ‘We can only hope.’

‘I also kind of made up with my dad.’

Kye’s surprised glance darts to mine. ‘You did?’ His brows lift higher. ‘Your dad ?’

‘I’m taking the word for a test drive,’ I reply with a subdued smirk.

‘Thank god, my mum’s been a lot better about it than I thought she’d be.

Before Gabriel flew back to the States, they managed an actual conversation.

To be honest, I think they know that they both screwed up in all this, and they just want to make it better for me. ’

‘I’m so happy for you,’ he says, tenderness glimmering in his eyes.

‘Thanks.’ I graze my thumb over a loose thread in my sweatpants.

‘I’m also going to have a little half-brother soon.

He’s going to be raised in America, but Gabriel said he’ll pay for me to visit as much as I want.

He’s going to set up a room for me at his house in LA, which, judging by the photos, is bigger than anywhere I’ve ever lived and it’s got the most amazing ocean view. ’

Kye’s eyes brighten as he smiles. ‘Wow.’

My lips kick up a little as I shrug. ‘Yeah. But that’s sort of by the by. It’s not like I hate the idea of all-expenses-paid trips to his Malibu mansion, but what I want most out of all this is a dad.’

He reaches to flatten his palm over my thigh, the warmth of his hand seeping through the cotton and into my skin. ‘You deserve all that and so much more, Evie,’ he says. ‘You deserve everything.’

I blink down at his touch, fighting off an urge to wind my fingers through his and lift them to my lips. First, though, I need to hear what he has to say about us.

‘Kye, did you really come here to talk about this?’ I ask.

He glances away, and removes his hand from my thigh, leaving a cold, bereft space in the shape of his palm. ‘Actually, I wanted to ask you something about the movie.’

Relief floods my lungs. So, he didn’t come here to call things off between us. ‘What is it?’ I say.

‘Austin asked me to help give the marketing a bit of a boost, and I had an idea. If we can get the budget for it, how would you feel about hosting a series of flash mobs in public places around the country? You could bring some of the regulars from your class—all costs covered, of course—and choreograph something fun to one of the songs from Moving . We’d make sure the media are at each event, as well as plenty of influencers to blast it over socials. ’

A smile cuts into my cheeks. ‘That’s a brilliant idea. And, of course, I’d love to.’

His lips pull up. ‘Great.’

‘Cool.’ I wait for more, but Kye turns silent. ‘So, that’s what you came here to—’

‘It’s not,’ he says.

Alarm rings through me as a deep breath expands his chest.

‘I’m really sorry that I haven’t been around these past few days,’ he says without looking at me. ‘Seeing my brother really messed me up, and … well, I’ve had a lot of thinking to do.’

My heart kicks into a gallop as I wait for more.

‘I also spoke to Austin,’ he continues, ‘and he … he told me he has feelings for me. Romantic feelings.’

‘I know.’

Kye’s lips part. ‘You know ?’

‘Austin didn’t tell me, at first, but I figured it out. I mean, he’s basically obsessed with you and everything you do. And when he reacted so strongly after you and I got together, and I knew he wasn’t interested in me like that, it all clicked.’

A little knot forms on Kye’s brow as his gaze dips to his jeans.

Terror slices down my throat, but this is a question I know I have to ask. ‘Are you in love with him?’ I whisper.

He collects both my hands in his. ‘Evie, no . No, I’m not in love with him.’

My fingers curl around his, squeezing. ‘You’re sure?’

He nods, his eyes returning to mine. Quietly, he says, ‘I’m falling for you .’ He tilts my chin up with his fingers. ‘It’s you, Evie.’

Warmth bubbles up in my chest, filling my throat and flushing my face.

He blinks down. ‘But if you happen to feel the same way about me, I … I need to tell you that’—he swallows thickly—‘I … I can’t be in a relationship right now.’

A bullet slams into my chest.

And there it is.

I turn away from Kye as my torso begins to crumble from the force of it.

‘Evie,’ he pleads, leaning towards me, but I can’t look at him.

Still, he continues. ‘All my life, I’ve believed that the only person in the world who really loves me is Austin.

I mean, my old caseworker, Mike, cares about me a lot, but it’s different.

He has his own life, his own family. But Austin has always been there for me in a way that no one else has.

And because of what I went through as a kid, I became dependent on him—on his approval—to feel good about myself.

And I think I’ve finally figured out how to break free of that.

’ Kye tips his lined face to the ceiling.

‘So, before I get into any kind of serious relationship, I feel like … I feel like I need to make sure that I don’t become dependent on someone else.

What I really need, before I can be in a healthy relationship, is some proper therapy to deal with the neglect and abuse I went through as a kid. ’

I stare down at the polished studio floor, grappling with my confusing tangle of reactions to this. I understand what Kye’s saying, and I support it. But at the same time, I need someone who will choose me .

‘I’m not asking you to wait, Evie,’ he says, his voice cracking. ‘I’m not even going to be in town anymore after today. Tonight, I’m getting on a plane to Melbourne.’

My lips fall open. ‘Oh wow, okay.’ I look away. Just when I thought this couldn’t get any more painful.

Kye tilts into my view, setting his distressed eyes on me.

‘I’m not running away from you, okay? Please don’t think that.

I was offered a job there—a lot quicker than I was expecting—and I’ve decided that it would be a good thing for me to take it.

I can’t work with Austin anymore, and something’s come up with the organisation that looked after me when I was a kid.

It’s mostly PR stuff—partnerships, fundraising.

Trying to get more people to sign up as foster carers. ’

A jab of pride pushes against the pain in my ribs. ‘Gosh, you’d be so good at that.’

He tries to smile. ‘Thank you. Obviously, there’s a risk of feeling triggered by it all, but I think that could be a good thing, maybe?

If I want to start dealing with my past, I mean.

I don’t want to shut myself off from my fears; I want to face them.

With time, maybe some of those bad experiences and memories can be replaced with better ones.

If that makes sense.’ He lifts a shoulder.

I nod slowly, blinking down. ‘It does.’

‘Plus, if I can come to terms with my past and what happened to me,’ he goes on, ‘maybe I can find a way to channel that into helping others.’

I reach for his hand. ‘Kye. You’re so brave.’

A clipped breath escapes his lips as he folds his fingers around mine. ‘Thank you. To hear someone say that to me—to hear you say it—means more to me than you probably know.’

For some reason, that admission only makes this harder. ‘So, you leave tonight, then?’ I mumble, buckling internally at the thought.

‘Yeah. They want me to start as soon as possible. They’ve been looking for someone to fill this role for a while.’

A heavy silence descends upon the studio as we sit with our fingers laced tightly together.

‘I’m happy for you,’ I finally say, because it’s the truth. ‘And I’m devastated for me.’

Kye turns to face me, every ring of dark chocolate in his eyes blurring with emotion.

‘I’m so sorry, Evie,’ he says. ‘This is so fucking hard for me, too.’ He skims his thumb over my jaw.

‘The problem is that I would want all or nothing with you. I can’t do a casual thing with you, baby.

I’d fall right in, and I’d …’ His choked breath trails off.

I catch him by the shoulders and pull him into me.

‘I know,’ I murmur against his trembling neck.

‘And I’m the same,’ I realise out loud, resting my cheek on his shoulder.

‘Maybe you’re not the only one who needs some time.

For so long, I’ve been waiting to meet someone who makes me feel the way you do.

But ever since we started getting close, long before you said any of this tonight, I’ve had this constant, terrible fear that I’m going to be let down by you.

And I know that’s more about what I’ve grown up with than anything you’ve done.

So, I … I think I need to figure out how to heal from all that and find some peace within myself, too, before I can be with anyone else. ’

He doesn’t say anything, but the way his arms cinch tighter around me makes me think he understands what I’m saying. I hope he does.

All of this hurts like a bitch, but Kye is right. We’re two wounded people. We need to step back, find a healthier way forward as individuals and then see if this is still what we both want.

‘Will you call me when you get to Melbourne?’ I ask, prising myself off him. ‘So I know you’ve arrived safely?’

He cradles my cheek in his palm. ‘Do you really think that’s a good idea?’

The answer hits me instantly. Hearing his voice … Knowing what he’s up to … Feeling as if I’m a part of his world … It’s only going to increase the temptation to jump on a plane.

I stroke my fingers over the hand that’s still cupping my face. ‘You’re right; I think we should have a clean break,’ I admit, the words stinging my throat. ‘At least for now.’

For several agonising breaths, we stare into each other’s heartbroken eyes, until I tip my head at the doorway.

‘You should probably go. I’ll stick around here.

I’m going to need a big hug from Rafael.

And a shipping container full of ice-cream.

There’ll definitely be a Boyz II Men album in there somewhere, too. ’

Kye’s brow crushes as he slowly nods. His palm slides off my cheek to land on my shoulder, and he gives me the gentlest tug forward, but I’m already moving.

Our mouths collide in a desperate, bone-melting kiss, his tongue capturing mine and wrenching a soft moan from my throat.

His takes both sides of my face in his hands and pulls me closer, kissing me deeper until there’s not a shred of breath left in my body.

‘I need to go,’ he says, dropping his forehead against mine. He then drags himself to his feet, every part of his body looking slumped and unwilling.

I stay motionless on the bench as his scuffed brown boots head for the door, his fingers clinging to mine. When our hands break apart, a gaping hole opens in my stomach.

Kye grips the handle, turning to look back at me. He’s so beautiful, inside and out, that it burns me alive.

‘I do, Evie,’ he says softly.

I blink at him, waiting for more.

‘I trust you.’

It takes me a second to figure out his meaning. But then my mind harks back to the night we spent together in the hotel suite. ‘You don’t even trust me?’ I’d asked. He hadn’t been able to answer then.

I do.

I trust you.

I get up and barrel towards him; his arms are ready to catch me as I throw myself against his chest. Despite everything we’ve said tonight, he feels steady and safe, like an anchor rooted at the centre of every storm. I hold on for as long as I can.

We gently detach, and Kye gives me a long look, a sheen of tears glimmering on his lashes.

Then, taking my heart with him, he turns and leaves.