Page 27 of Lights, Camera, Love

She swallows hard. ‘But I like you .’

The whispered words make me want to grab her and kiss the breath out of her right now, in front of Marco and Smoke Machine, who are packing up in the corner. But instead, I mumble, ‘I can’t get involved with you. Austin has a thing for you, and even if you don’t like him—’

‘What does he have on you?’ Evie asks.

‘What?’

Her eyes search mine. ‘You do everything Austin asks without question. And now, when he shows any kind of interest in me, you back off immediately. Even though I’m not at all interested in him and can’t stop thinking about you .’

‘Evie,’ I breathe, the word a half-hearted warning.

She pins me in her stare. ‘In the few months we’ve known each other, you have managed to uncover all my deepest, darkest secrets. So, why don’t you return the favour and tell me what it is that’s got you trapped in this situation, Kye?’

My throat locks up as she waits for a reply that I’m not sure I want to give. But Evie’s right. Given all the personal stuff I know about her, she deserves for me to be as honest with her as she’s been with me.

I glance back at Marco again, but he and Smoke Machine can’t hear us; they’re busy wrestling with a giant photography umbrella. I watch as it accidentally pops open, nearly knocking them both out.

My gaze shifts back to Evie. ‘A few years ago, I got between Austin and a woman,’ I say shakily. ‘And it nearly destroyed my friendship with him. Actually, it nearly destroyed him, full stop. So it’s not something that can ever happen again.’

Her eyes roam over my face. ‘You mean, he was with someone, and you and her … ’

‘He was married,’ I blurt out, a mound of gravel sitting heavy in my stomach.

‘It was a girl he grew up with, someone in his church. They were only twenty-three when they got married, but there was a lot of pressure on them to do it, and I guess they got caught up in it. Once Austin started pursuing acting, he kept his wife a secret, which she obviously hated. But he was adamant that he’d get more roles if people thought he was single.

‘Anyway, both Austin and Nadia were naturally pretty rebellious,’ I continue.

‘The Reynolds were fairly relaxed with me when we were growing up—I guess they didn’t care as much about my eternal soul as they did their son’s—but it was different for Austin.

They didn’t give him much free rein; he was forced to go to church.

So, I suppose, when he moved in with Nadia, he felt like he needed to make up for lost time.

They’d often sneak out of the Sunday service to go bar-hopping with fake IDs or smoke weed with homemade bongs. ’

Evie’s eyes don’t move from mine as I keep going.

‘So yeah, Austin was a big party animal back then, and he and Nadia would invite me over to their place to get drunk. She was older than me, and really flirty … ’ Evie blinks fast, and I clear my throat.

‘Anyway, I was young, and I thought she was pretty, and I … I started to flirt back because, well, I guess I thought it was just innocent, drunk fun. Plus, Austin encouraged it. He’d sit on the couch and watch me and Nadia banter with this gleam in his eye.

He’d ask me, right in front of her, if I thought she was sexy, and when I’d dodge the question, he’d ask her if she thought I was sexy.

She’d say things like, “Fuck yes— of course ,” and instead of getting pissed off, he’d smile and get this weird, excited look in his eye. ’

My fingernails dig into my palms as I steel myself to tell her the rest.

‘One night, I was at this random party with Austin and Nadia, and the two of them were doing molly together. He said that even if I took just half a pill, it would make my night amazing. I’d always avoided drugs, so I said no, but he kept putting on the hard sell.

He said that everyone else there was doing it …

that half a pill was no big deal … that it would make the party more fun.

And so, maybe it was curiosity—a need to impress Austin—but whatever the reason, I swallowed it.

I remember starting to feel all warm and fuzzy.

Extremely loving and affectionate. Everyone at the party became my best friend.

‘Then, at some point, Austin disappeared with a guy we didn’t know, and Nadia and I couldn’t find him anywhere.

Finally, we gave up the search, and she and I ended up sitting against a bed in some rando’s room, talking about our lives.

I kept thanking her for being such a good friend; she kept stroking my cheek and telling me how gorgeous I was. I guess we were still pretty high.’

I take a thick, shame-riddled breath before starting on the next part.

‘She got up to close the door, and before I knew what was happening …’ I lift a shoulder, unable to meet Evie’s eyes as her whole body stiffens.

‘She started kissing me. So, we made out,’ I say.

‘ A lot. For what felt like forever. We didn’t do anything else, apart from some touching, but after a while someone came into the room, and that stopped it, thank fuck .

’ I press my palm to my brow. ‘I think we both regretted it right away. I never did find Austin that night, so I just went home and passed out. Then the next morning, I woke up to him punching me so hard in the face that he nearly broke my jaw. It probably sounds na?ve, but I thought if I could just explain to him that I hadn’t been in my right mind, he’d understand.

’ My voice comes out throttled as I continue.

‘Well, not only did he not understand, but he was fucking devastated . I’d never seen him so broken.

He wouldn’t even talk to her—which really messed her up—and a few weeks later, he filed for divorce.

He went off the rails, took way too many drugs, and nearly lost his whole career.

All because I couldn’t keep my fucking hands off his wife. ’

Evie’s brow tightens, and her fingers clasp my forearm. ‘Kye. This sounds like a really complicated situation. And it sounds like Austin, who was older than you, pressured you into taking that drug.’

I stare at her sweet face, wanting so badly to believe her, but the truth is that I’d been crushing on Nadia for months before that party.

And even though I took that pill, I was still aware of myself that night.

It’s not like I blacked out—I can remember everything.

I did something that ruined the marriage and broke the heart of the guy who had been there for me when it felt like I had no one, and it’s something I’ll never forgive myself for.

‘Still. I can’t do that to him again,’ I say sombrely. ‘Even if you don’t like Austin in that way, I promised myself long ago that I wouldn’t get between him and a woman he’s interested in ever again. And he likes you. He told me he does.’

For the first time since I started telling her about this, a resigned look of understanding comes into Evie’s eyes.

‘Okay,’ she mumbles as she lifts her purse strap over her shoulder. ‘I get it. I guess I’ll see you at the showcase, then?’

‘Yeah.’

The dim sadness that’s taken over her usually cheerful face has me reaching for her arm, my fingers gently closing around her soft skin.

‘It’s not easy for me either, Evie,’ I say.

With one more look into my rueful eyes, she slips out of my grip and leaves the bar.