Page 7

Lena

I was a mess! Last night in bed, Ethan’s words– That’s the difference between service and sacrifice –played in a loop, and Carrie’s words– Maybe give the guy another chance —added to the confusion of what to do about Ethan.

Or more precisely, my desire to get to know him better despite the red flag warning.

I was in the Dungeon tidying up when a memory I wished to forget had me stagger and drop onto a bench. A visual of me, in New Orleans just over two years ago…

The air had been heavy with incense and expectation. Daniel, my former Dom, preferred silence from me unless I was given permission to speak, which was rare.

In his world, servitude was absolute. Grace wasn’t enough, it had to be perfection.

He’d had a friend over from the lifestyle, another Dom he wished to impress with my newly acquired serving skills. I was nervous. My debut you could say. The porcelain edge of the teacup ever so slightly tapped the edge of the tray as I adjusted my grip, making barely a sound.

Daniel’s friend didn’t give any indication he’d heard, but Daniel had. Later, after saying our goodbyes, he turned on me, wearing a snarl and circled me like a wolf.

“You embarrassed me,” his soft tone belying the words he spoke. “Sloppiness is weakness and I don’t keep weak things.”

He gripped the ever-present blue ribbon at my throat, a perpetual reminder of who and what I was.

He gripped my elbow tightly in his grasp and marched me to his dungeon.

At the beginning, I’d welcomed the smell of leather and the pristine conditions of the furniture and toys that were strategically set up.

Not this time. He took me to the center of the space and had me kneel on the floor.

“Nose on the ground,” he ordered. “You will receive thirty strokes.”

Tears streamed down my face but I didn’t move, didn’t dare.

If I was good, maybe there would be aftercare.

He was harsher than he’d ever been and I realized that this was very different than anything I’d experienced before.

This wasn’t a scene; this was a warning.

He never checked in, never offered me a single word of comfort.

Just silence when he exited the room and locked me inside.

That night had changed everything for me. The tension I now held wasn’t natural, it was trained. I’d made it an art form of anticipating and pre-empting. I’d learned to vanish within protocol and submission became my armor, and it worked for a while, until it didn’t.

My environment slowly came back into focus, my body shuddered as the remnants of the vision dissipated.

I was on a bench in the Dungeon at Rawhide.

I took a few deep breaths. I looked down to see that at some point I’d dropped a stack of towels I’d been delivering before the unwanted vision had entered the gray matter of my brain to torture me.

Another shudder moved through me. Ethan’s voice, and the way he’d looked at me when he’d said– That’s the difference between service and sacrifice.

His perceptive eyes and quiet strength were nothing like Daniel’s and that may be the most dangerous part.

I’d thought I had him pegged and then he surprised me today.

I heard the deep rumblings of a voice that was recognizable but different.

The way he spoke with so much confidence.

The man excited me, but if he touched that part of me that ached for him, for something more, he’d see how broken I was.

Me being aware was one thing, but someone else seeing my dysfunction was quite another, and no amount of grace could hide that.

Despite the self-talk I’d given myself about maybe finding someone, I now knew this couldn’t be. It was important to have no attachments, just structure and control. That way I couldn’t be hurt again.

You’d think making the decision would have given me some much-needed peace, but my meeting with Ethan was in a few minutes and being in his presence always made me want to melt. He had something—something that had a profound effect on my libido.

I hustled up to the suite I shared with Carrie to change out of my uniform.

The view out the picture window showed it was a beautiful day.

What do I wear to both impress yet protect myself?

I glanced through my closet and chose a nondescript summer dress.

It offered no view of my curves. Nothing about how I looked spoke of passion.

I ran my fingers through my curly locks, put on some gloss and headed back out the door.

Ethan was in the entryway standing by the stone fireplace.

His stance was casual but beneath that I sensed tension.

He turned his head, his gaze locking on mine.

What I saw in those cognac-colored depths had my belly flip flop and my panties soak. Pure, unadulterated desire.

He quickly schooled his features into a smile that reached his eyes and lit up his handsome face. The man had so many smiles, he was a professional in every sense of the word. I’d really have to watch myself if I was going to keep him at a distance.

He made his way over to me and reached for my hand, dipping to kiss the back of it.

“You look stunning.”

I felt heat radiate from my cheeks to my chest. “Thank you,” I said simply.

“You must be hungry. May I take you to lunch?”

Lunch sounded safe, unless… “Where?”

Ethan chuckled. “Wherever your heart desires. Here, town, France. You pick.”

His eyes glittered with amusement, but I had no doubt that if I’d picked France, we would be on our way there.

As being stuck in a foreign country with a man I barely knew was off the table, I chose a different option.

I’d been wanting to go there and check out a place Carrie had told me about. “How about Rawhide Ridge?”

“That would be nice.” Ethan looked surprised, suppressed his megawatt smile and linked his elbow through mine.

“This way, milady.”

The flush of my cheeks intensified. After Ethan spoke to Luna, who was behind the front counter, she sent me a wink.

Outside, Ethan requested I wait on the front steps while he retrieved his vehicle from the parking area.

When he pulled up, he quickly darted out of the driver’s side and around to my side to open my door.

Once I was inside, he leaned in and fastened my seat belt.

Butterflies fluttered in my lower belly and I pressed my thighs together.

I wasn’t convinced yet he wasn’t one of those shifter males in the books I read.

He always seemed to know when I was turned on.

Ethan was back behind the wheel, his gaze searched mine, then a small smile lifted the corner of his lips into a knowing smirk. Darn! How did he do that?

“Should we start at the beginning and work our way through, or did you have a specific place you wished to go?”

“I heard the Ridge’s bakery was very good.

I’d like to see what they offer.” Ethan nodded with a smile.

It was a beautiful, sunny day and not too hot.

We opted for an open sunroof instead of air conditioning.

He switched on SiriusXM and chose a Bluegrass station.

While not very familiar with the genre, I loved the twang paired with the fragrant air and vibrant colors of the Montana sky.

I found myself tapping my hand on the armrest in time to the beat.

Other than music, we drove in silence. Not the uncomfortable kind, but the companionable sort.

It was nice to be with a man without restrictions.

Yet also, concerning as it was too real if we both decided it could be part of a future, our future.

That put my brakes on and I stopped thumping in time to the music. Ethan didn’t ask me if something was wrong, he let me be. I sighed inwardly and nestled back in my seat. Suddenly the day wasn’t quite so bright. I needed to look at this as a simple outing, nothing more.

We paused at the entrance where a sign welcomed us to The Ridge.

Ethan pulled up to a box beside the gate and entered the code Luna had provided before we’d left the lodge.

Once the gates opened, he drove through to continue our journey.

We crested a rise and saw what looked like the main street of a quaint, small town appear.

A yellow and white gingerbread Victorian-style home sat off to the right, a signed bearing the name Robyn’s Nest swinging slightly in the breeze.

“That’s the B I was going to learn why he was here and I prayed that whatever caused him to be here, I was the answer.