Page 31 of Lash

"But why would you want…" I shake my head and shrug. “I am not whole. I am good at violence, Tatiana, and not much else."

She is quiet again for a while. "Who can explain attraction, Lash? I cannot. I am physically attracted to you. I think you are handsome. I love your hair and your beard. You are fit and strong. But I…I think more than anything, it is the feeling of safety when I am with you. I have been afraid most of my life. There have always been threats, Lash. Tata being who he is and doing what he does, he is always in danger. And so have I been. I’ve been kidnapped several times. Usually for ransom, or to force my father to do something. While I have evaded rape or torture, the fear is always there. When I am with you, I am not afraid. And that is a feeling I cannot describe, other than a kind of delirious relief, as if I can finally breathe for the first time in my life."

"I will protect you with my life, Tatiana," I say. "As long as I breathe, no harm will come to you."

"I know." She says it as if there is no doubt. "But the question is, doyoutrustme?”

I frown. "I…I do not know. Trust is…it is a complicated thing for me.” I gesture at Solomon, behind us. "I trust him with my life—he and my Broken Arrow brothers. But trusting them with my life and physical safety is easy enough. They are operators, like me. I know their skills. I have sworn an oath to them, as they have to me."

"But?"

"But trusting them with my safety does not mean I trust them with…" I roll a shoulder, looking for the right word. "With the rest of me, such as I am. They know nothing of me, not really."

"Why not?" she asks.

“Because I was betrayed."

"By whom? How?"

"That is a long, painful story," I say, "And one I have told no one, not even Inez."

She frowns at me. "Who is Inez?"

"My immediate superior in the Broken Arrows."

"And what are the Broken Arrows?"

"A private security company, of sorts."

"Of sorts?"

I nod. “We are unusual, I suppose. All of us operators. Meaning, former black ops specialists for various militaries, except Solomon's brothers, Saxon and Silas. We have all been through unimaginable hell—extraordinarily traumatic events that have left us unfit for society. The Broken Arrows gives us a brotherhood, a community of men who understand each other. We have all taken vows to defend, protect, and serve each other. We work at a nightclub and live beneath it. It is a simple, safe life where we can be ourselves with people who understand us."

We have been speaking in English, and Solomon moves up on Tatiana's other side. “What Lash isn’t mentioning is that we all swore not only to support and protect each other but also to not take another life, a crucial commitment given our history of violence.” He looks at me, and I see the confusion and resentment in his eyes. "Except Lash. Unbeknownst to the rest of us, he didn't have to swear to not kill. And Inez wouldn't say why."

"Because she did not know why," I said. "Ido not know. Our employer made the decision, and as you know, he does not explain himself to anyone."

Solomon sighs an annoyed huff. "That's a shitty explanation."

"I know, and I’m sorry, but it is the only one I have." I shrug. "I am certain he had his reasons. I wish I knew what they were myself. It is an oath I would swear to right now if our lives were not in such danger. I have kept that oath even though I did not swear it…until now. Until her." I indicate Tatiana. "When all this is over, Solomon, I will take the vow in front of all of you. I will take the brand again if you wish. You are my brothers. That has not changed simply because I did not swear not to kill.”

Solomon sighs. "That isn't for me to decide—we'll have to see what the others have to say."

At that moment, Lorenzo, about to lead us around a corner, jerks back and flattens himself against the wall. "We have a problem, friends."

Solomon and I move up to join him, Sol peeks around the corner, and then I do.

The bus station is just down the street but lined up in front of it are local police, heavily armed and watchful. A young woman and her infant attempt to enter and are searched, the woman's papers checked.

"What do you want to bet they are there for us?" Lorenzo says.

I curse in three different languages. "Only a fool would bet against that," I say. "Their presence is courtesy of Roberto Pugli."

“You're gonna have to explain,” Scarlett says to me. "I know Sol has said you're private about your past, and I respect that, I do, but this affects the rest of us, now. So, I think we're owed at least some kind of an explanation. Who thefuckis Roberto Pugli, and what does he want with you?"

"I believe I already said—he is a high-level executive at Interpol. He is an intelligence operative by trade but, in reality,he is a much more powerful version of Stjepan Juric." I indicate Tatiana. "Pugli is corrupt, cruel, and evil. He trades intelligence, sells secrets, and facilitates arms deals with terrorists, using his position and influence. He owns many officials across Europe, and has eyes and ears everywhere."

"And what does he have against you?" Sol asks.