Page 33 of Just Heartbeats (Royalla Motorcycle Club #1)

The compound gates shut behind them. The screech of metal reverberated in Roma's bones. Safety should've settled in her chest, calming her, but the fear of what happened continued to press down on her.

She should've been safe here. Every man had protected and looked out for her throughout her whole life. She learned to ride a bicycle outside the clubhouse. She made mudpies behind the garage. She'd snuck her first alcoholic drink inside. Royalla was her life. It's all she knew.

But Nate had taken her and tossed her away, knowing her life would forever be ruined.

Kodiak parked beside the door. She slid off the Harley, making no move to go inside without him. He got off the bike and swung his arm around her, pulling her close. She clung to him, needing the reassurance that he was here.

The last hours had been hell. She'd flipped from fearing for her life to being scared no one would find her, all while panicking over the thought of losing Kodiak. Though the immediate danger was over, she was unsure how to breathe in her own skin again.

The time she spent with Nate and the Deception member left her feeling dirty. All she wanted to do was wash the filth off and wrap herself in clean blankets, feeling Kodiak beside her.

Her throat tightened. "I'm sorry."

Kodiak's stride slowed. He curled his fingers against the small of her back as if he wanted to grab her but held himself back. "Not your fault, baby girl."

There was an edge to his voice. He carried a tightly controlled rage that twisted her stomach into a knot. This wasn't over. She wasn't sure when the nightmare would end.

"You should be able to trust every member of Royalla," he said.

Roma flinched. Trust had gotten her kidnapped.

Trust had only given her a false sense of security.

She'd grown up believing her dad was protected and would come riding in every evening in time to tuck her into bed.

Instead, she'd lost him in such a way that her scars ran deep and would forever remind her of her loss.

Through all the pain and failures, she trusted Kodiak. How many times had he saved her? The thought sent a strange warmth through her chest.

The clubhouse loomed ahead. Members milled about, some stealing glances her way, their expressions unreadable. She forced herself to keep moving, her fingers flexing against Kodiak's chest. She needed to ask. She needed to hear the truth from Kodiak before she had to face the others.

"What happened to Nate?" she whispered.

Kodiak exhaled a controlled breath. His hold shifted, firm but careful. "As soon as I find him, I'll deal with him."

Roma stopped short, forcing him to halt too. Her hands splayed against his ribs. The warmth of his skin bled through the fabric of his leather vest. She needed to see his face.

Her pulse accelerated, knowing the truth but needing to hear it. "He's free? He's still out there?"

His jaw tensed. "For now."

That unease she'd pushed down clawed its way back up her throat.

Kodiak had killed the Deception member who'd kidnapped her.

Cruz had stayed behind, making sure the crime wasn't traced back to Royalla.

Nothing was hidden from her. Maybe they believed she was in shock and wouldn't remember, but like the night her dad was killed, she would never forget what happened.

"I want my life back," she murmured, the words slipping out before she could stop them. "I want you safe."

Kodiak studied her for a long moment, then lifted his hand, brushing his thumb along her cheek. The calloused pad of his finger sent a shiver down her spine.

"I'll make sure you get where you feel safe again. That we get there," he said.

She wanted to believe him.

The compound buzzed with quiet movement around them, members passing in and out of the main door. This was home in every sense. But was she ready to step inside where one of them had betrayed her?

Her gaze flickered over Kodiak's face, taking in the sharp lines of his features, the shadows beneath his eyes. It wasn't only her life that had been put at risk. He and the club suffered, too.

"Do you ever get tired of running the club?" she asked suddenly, the question slipping out before she could stop it.

Kodiak's lips thinned beneath his beard.

He glanced toward the clubhouse entrance, then back at her.

"It's not about being tired," he finally said, his voice low.

"It's about where I went wrong and how I can fix it.

I want Royalla to be home, not only for us, but to each member who wears the patch. "

A breeze kicked up, blowing Roma's hair. She ignored the strands clinging to the corner of her mouth. Her focus was on Kodiak.

"What if that's impossible?" she murmured, searching his face.

Kodiak tipped his head and looked up at the dark sky. That alone was enough to make her heart kick. He was never unsure. Never hesitant. He was the strongest, smartest, bravest man she knew.

"Glad you're back, Roma," called out one of the men.

She turned. Royalla members watched from the entrance. A flicker of unease tightened her stomach. She had trusted Nate. She had let her judgment slip. She didn't need to hear it from anyone; she could feel it in the way some of them looked at her.

Nate was their MC brother. They rode under the same patch. The others probably believed she was at fault. Brothers before bitches, wasn't that always what they were telling each other?

Kodiak's grip on her waist tightened. "You need food," he said, steering her toward the clubhouse. "And rest."

Roma swallowed hard. What she needed was answers and the confidence that it was safe on the compound.

She had spent hours in captivity, replaying every detail of what had happened. Including the choices that had led her there. The trust that had shattered with every breath she took in the dark. And now, she wanted to know what came next.

"How bad is it?" she asked, voice lower now.

"He fucking touched you." Kodiak's gaze narrowed. "He betrayed me, the club, and every member who swore their life to the patch."

She could guess what the punishment was for turning on Royalla. Kodiak took her hand and led her into the clubhouse. The air was thick with unease as if the members had not quit moving since hearing about Nate's crimes against the club. She wasn't stepping back into the same world she had left.

Kodiak led her toward the back, where the quieter corners of the clubhouse provided space to breathe. He pulled out a chair, motioning for her to sit.

"You should have told me he was still out there." She crossed her arms and met his gaze. "I've distracted you."

Kodiak leaned against the table, planting his hands on the surface. "It was more important to get home where it's safe."

"Is it safe, though?" She looked at him, needing reassurance. "Not knowing where he's at makes everything seem worse." She pressed a hand to her chest. "I don't want him to try to kidnap me again. I thought this was over, and now Nate's involved." She shook her head. "I don't get it."

His gaze flickered to her. "He will never get another chance to put his hands on you. I promise you that."

Roma held his stare. Exhaustion hit her hard. She lowered herself into the chair. An ache lingered from the magnitude of what was happening. Royalla, although not blood-related, was the only family she had ever known.

Kodiak watched her a beat longer, then sat across from her.

She wanted to cry for what she'd gone through and what Kodiak still had to face. It felt like she was living in a bad dream and couldn't wake up.

He reached for the whiskey bottle on the table, poured a glass, then pushed it toward her.

"Kodiak," she said, softer now.

He'd always gone out of his way to make sure she wasn't able to drink or smoke because of her age.

His hand stilled on the bottle. He tried to comfort her in the only way he knew to comfort himself. Tonight had shown him there was a hole in Royalla. He almost lost her. His men were at risk.

Kodiak's thumb caressed the bottle without lifting it. It was rare to see him hesitate, even rarer to see him struggle for answers on how to fix the club now that Nate had penetrated the security Kodiak had built.

His gaze lingered on her, searching for answers. Maybe he was measuring how much information she could handle. Maybe he was assessing his regrets.

She inhaled slowly. "You don't have to shield me from this."

"I'm not shielding you," he said, voice lower now, rough at the edges. "I'm handling it."

Roma pressed her lips together. He couldn't let go of taking care of her. Hadn't she shown him that they were moving beyond that to a relationship where he could lean on her, too?

He exhaled through his nose like he was choosing his next words carefully. "I—"

"Kod..." She curled her fingers around his wrist. "Talk to me."

Kodiak's eyes darkened. Then, slowly, his fingers left the whiskey and turned to her hand, pressing his rough, warm palm against her own.

"I'm not tired of running the club. I need to finish this business with Nate, make sure you're safe." His gruff voice wrapped around her. "You're who I'm worried about."

"You think Nate will—"

"No, because I won't give him another chance." He leaned forward. "You're the most important thing I have, baby girl."

Roma's pulse kicked against her ribs, but she held Kodiak's gaze, searching for the truth behind his words. She needed to believe him.

His firm, strong touch reassured her. His thumb traced lightly along the side of her hand.

"You mean that?" she murmured.

"Yeah."

A breath she hadn't realized she held slipped past her lips. All she ever wanted was for him to see her as an equal and admit they had a connection that exceeded the walls of the clubhouse, the fence of the compound, and the stars in the sky.

"You in?" Kodiak's fingers twitched against hers.

His grip shifted, eliminating any space between them. She clung to him.

"I've always been in," she whispered.

"Can you trust me after what happened tonight?"

Her breath hitched. Trust. A dangerous word. A fragile thing. But when she looked at him, really looked, it wasn't only trust he was asking for. It was something bigger, something that stretched beyond the club, beyond duty, beyond every carefully drawn line between them.

She'd fought with her feelings for the last two years, believing that losing her father in such a way had proven to her that she couldn't trust anyone.

But that wasn't true. Her father had trusted Kodiak, not only with his life, but with her.

It was her dad's last wish that Kodiak take care of her, protect her, love her.

Kodiak saved her life tonight, and every second she was with that mad man, she trusted that Kodiak would find her. There was no doubt that he was doing all that he could to keep her from harm.

And, while she'd lost her dad and she'd witnessed the brutal world of living within Royalla, there was one person she trusted, and she was looking into his eyes.

"I love you," she murmured, barely above a whisper.

His thumb slowly brushed the edge of her palm. "I'm gonna make sure you never stop. You're my old lady, baby girl."

She wet her lips, guilt making her nauseous. "I wish I could take back the whole day. If I hadn't played Nate in pool and agreed to go outside—"

"Not. Your. Fault."

Her throat tightened, but she nodded, fingers curling around his in silent apology.

Maybe this was how trust was built. One word at a time. One promise at a time. One touch at a time.

She wasn't sure how long they sat with their fingers laced together across the table, the weight of their responsibilities stopping them from moving forward. But their future sat in the empty chair beside them, waiting for them.

She was physically exhausted, emotionally wounded, and could barely put two thoughts together. But one thing was sure.

She loved Kodiak.