Page 20

Chapter Twenty

Campbell

Josh had texted me when he arrived at the dorm, and I responded, wishing him good luck with Devon. Then because I couldn’t help myself, I texted him a picture of Pixie, who was finally in labor. I loved having someone to share my life with.

I helped my dad with what turned out to be a smooth birth, and after washing up a few hours later, discovered that Josh had blown up my phone. I listened to his voicemails, read all of the texts, and went to talk to my parents.

I was on the road within the hour, in my Mom’s pickup, after texting Josh to let him know I was on my way.

Finn: Confirmed that Hockey House is empty. Di and Noah are at her place. Don’t argue. I’m coming back.

I described where he could find a key hidden in the back yard and asked him to wait for me there. It was late afternoon when I found Josh curled up on top of the covers of my bed, his bare feet sticking out of jeans that looked like they were made to fit him, wearing a button-down shirt I had seen him wear once before. I stood in the doorway and thought about the first time he’d been in my room. I thought about how much I’d wanted him to kiss me then, how much I'd wanted him to do more.

All I wanted as I stared at him then was to take away the anxiety he was feeling. I entered the room, kicked off my shoes, and sat on the bed. I brushed Josh’s short curls from his forehead and leaned down to kiss it.

“Babe?”

With a deep intake of breath, Josh’s eyes opened. I continued to brush his hair and stare into those deep-blue eyes as confusion turned to realization and then to pain.

“He’s my best friend, Cam.”

“I know, baby.” He stayed curled up but nuzzled into my hand, letting me know I should continue to stroke his hair.

“And Jamie’s straight! Or at least he was until … Oh God, until he met my best friend!”

“Well, he did come out.”

“And he’s like twenty years older than us.”

I sighed, remembering the night before, when Josh had shown me a picture of his niece, his brother smiling in the background.

“And he has a kid, Cam! I know you don’t know Dev, but I mean, he’s basically like me. Well, maybe he’s a little more focused, and mature, and neater, and more goal oriented. Never mind, he’s nothing like me. He’s really focused on his future, but I’ve never once pictured him with kids! It’s not something we’ve ever talked about. Vera’s my niece, Cam, and she’s been through so much for someone so young. What if she gets hurt? What if my brother gets hurt? What if my best friend gets hurt? It’s too much, Cam.”

“Close your eyes, baby.” He looked up at me from his comfortable position, and I increased the pressure on his scalp just a little to hopefully help alleviate some tension.

“For me, please.”

He nodded under my hand, and those stormy eyes were closed a second later.

“You remember that picture of Vera from yesterday.”

He sighed. “Yesterday seems like a lifetime ago.”

“I know, baby, but picture your brother. What did you say to me?”

Josh finally sat up. “I know what I didn’t say! I didn’t say, ‘Wow, he looks so relaxed! He must be dicking down a guy half his age!’”

“Josh. Come on. Be fair. You said he looked happy, right?”

Josh looked deflated, and his voice changed to match the vibe. “No. I said it was the happiest I’d seen him in a really long time. Fuck.” Josh covered his face with his hands and flopped back into a prone position.

“Think about it, Josh. Does any of the other stuff really matter? No, wait, don’t answer that. The stuff about your niece matters, of course. But truly, in your heart of hearts, do you think Jamie, or Devon, would do anything to hurt her?”

Through his hands, Josh agreed with me. “No, of course not. Jamie will always put Vee first. I’m sure of that.” His hands gave way as I responded.

“So knowing that, believing that , does the other stuff really matter? What is an age difference if they care about each other? What does it matter that they met because of you, or that it took your brother all this time to come out?”

Josh let out an anguished little grunt and mumbled, “They lied to me.”

“And you’ve been lying to them too,” I reminded him softly. “You’ve had good reasons. Or I guess, understandable reasons. Maybe they have too?” He grunted again, and I brought the focus of the conversation back to Jamie. “I know you’ve been worried about your brother. He really does seem happy now, right? It’s not just the one picture?”

Josh sat up again with a sigh. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Last time I saw him? He seemed … flushed. Oh my God, Campbell, it was awful! They were lying there. On. Top. Of. Each. Other. There were clothes everywhere. And butt plugs!” he concluded, flailing his arms in the air, but his tone was lighter, and I hoped he was maybe starting to find the humor in the situation.

“More than one butt plug? Sounds hot.”

“Okay, first of all, ew. THAT’S MY FUCKING brOTHER YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! Also, what do you know about butt plugs?” Josh was finally smiling, and I felt like I could smile again too.

I gently pushed Josh’s shoulder until he was lying flat on the bed, then I crawled on top of him and started kissing his neck, hitting a spot that had him arching up and huffing in my hair. I hoped it would prove to be a good distraction. When I made it to his ear, I whispered, “I may have learned about a few things since I met you.” He pushed on my shoulder with a frustrated grunt until I propped myself up on my hands to look down at him, my hair flopping in front of my face. He sat up against the headboard and sighed.

“I just … I guess I always pictured Devon and me being the same way we’ve been since we met. Just a couple of partying man wh?—"

“Sex-positive single men,” I interrupted and corrected him.

“Yeah, something like that.” His eyes danced, and he quirked a small smile.

“But that’s not you anymore, and maybe it’s not him either. You guys have both made some pretty big changes. I think maybe it’s time the two of you talked about them. Try to be happy for them, Josh, same as you would want Devon to be happy for us even though I know he sees me as the horrible asshole who was shitty to you at a party, and who's making you hide in the closet.”

“Cam …”

“One major life crisis at a time, okay, babe. Let’s focus on you and Devon.”

“I’m not ready to face them just yet. Can I maybe stay here tonight?”

I answered him by kissing down his jawline and neck, over his Adam's apple, feeling him swallow as he leaned into the touch. I made my way to his lips as one hand sought the waist of his jeans, tugging at the shirt that I’d first seen him wear months earlier when he’d attended one of the first Hockey House parties of the year and had ended up in this very room.

I worked the buttons from the top as I fought to free the hem from the bottom, kissing further down Josh’s chest as I opened each button. Josh arched back at my touch but swatted at my hand on the fly of his jeans, working himself to unbutton and unzip them as I continued to travel the center of his chest, the soft smattering of hair around his pecs tickling me as I went. I followed the path to his taut stomach. His shirt free, I let my hands travel on either side of his waist, and he squirmed at the touch.

“Ticklish?” I asked as I repeated the motion.

“No,” he lied as he wiggled below me and swatted my hands away once more.

I returned them, holding firm to his waist as I continued to kiss around his stomach.

“Enough!” he shouted as he sat up and pulled away from me.

“Very ticklish.” I smiled, dragging my fingertips down his still-denim-clad thighs as I sat up too. Our eyes locked as he pulled the shirt from his shoulders and worked his arms from it. I reached out to touch his forearms once they were free, admiring his small but firm muscles, but he moved away from me as I reached up, sliding to the end of the bed and standing to remove his jeans. I sat and watched, and Josh looked at me as he shoved the material down.

“You, too, my prince.”

“Huh?” I may have been a little preoccupied watching him disrobe, his slim thighs exposed and giving me a view of the coarser sandy hair that covered them. He was wearing a pair of maroon-colored briefs with a black waistband, and the colors contrasted with his pale winter skin in a way that made me want to lick him all over: the skin, the briefs, and the appendage within them, which was straining behind the material.

I moved to the end of the bed and reached out again.

“Take your shirt off for me, babe.”

“Huh?”

Josh laughed and moved forward, pulling my T-shirt over my head. My arms were willing, but once he tossed the shirt aside, my hands found his waist again, and I pulled him between my legs. I kissed around his stomach once more but gently pushed him back almost immediately.

“Not enough.” I stood and stripped with one hand, holding Josh in place with the other. He had to help with my balance as I worked first one, then the other of my socks off. Once I was steady, his hands explored my chest, and we both got lost in it for a moment as he traced my abs.

“So fucking fit. You are so beautiful, Cam.” Even though I wanted Josh to be turned on by me, and I knew there was no reason to be embarrassed, I could feel myself blushing. I held his hands in place before setting them at his sides, putting mine right where I wanted them.

“So are you.” I snapped the black waistband of his briefs. “These are so hot.” I started to slowly drag them down, following until I was on my knees in front of him. His cock sprang free and bounced in front of my face.

“But this is hotter.”

Josh worked to step out of the underwear as I grabbed his arousal.

“Cam …” Josh started, but when my mouth encircled the head of his cock, his words turned to a gasp. I looked up, worried that Josh was being performative, instead finding his head arched back. Since I’d stopped my movements to look up at him, he looked down to find me staring, his semi-hard cock resting in my mouth.

His hand ran through my long bangs before caressing my cheek. His eyes were blown wide, more navy blue than I’d ever seen them, making the ring of ice stand out even more in contrast.

I pulled off to tell him once again how beautiful he was, but he spoke first, lifting my chin before running his fingers through my hair and down my cheeks again. “I love your flushed cheeks.” His fingertips danced around my collarbones and shoulders. “I love the way the flush travels.”

I grabbed his cock again. “I love your flush of color too,” I joked, looking at his dick, which had softened but was perking up in my hand. “And I want to see if I can get it to match my cheeks.” I moved to put the tip in my mouth again.

“Okay,” he huffed.

“Okay,” I breathed, close enough for my breath to brush his member.

I started with just the tip again, sucking and licking while I stroked the base with one hand until I felt him firm up to my touch. I let my mouth venture further, meeting my hand and taking a few inches as Josh got harder and harder, and I got a taste of pre-cum. I pulled off and licked his slit, tasting before engulfing him again.

“Not too fast,” he cautioned. He arched back, lost in the sensation. Ignoring his plea, I dropped my hand and continued to take more and more of Josh’s cock with each pump, using my tongue to trace a vein on the underside. My hands found their way to Josh’s ass, and I could feel his tense muscles as if he was holding back. I appreciated the effort that must have taken, as my own body had begun to react, and I was rocking and thrusting in time to my glides up and down Josh’s member.

When one of my hands left his ass in favor of tugging at my own dick, Josh gently pulled me off him. He was now flushed, too, his face and his cock a vibrant red as he dropped to his knees to kiss me while taking both of our cocks in hand and tugging.

“I’m ready, Josh.” His look let me know he knew exactly what I was talking about.

“I know you are my prince, but so am I. I want you to fuck me.”

I leaned back and looked at Josh as he continued to stroke us together in a leisurely fashion. I was amped up and ready for more, making it my turn to tense my body and not thrust into his motions.

“You want me to …”

“God yes! I want you to fuck me, Cam. I’ve wanted that since the moment I met you. I came so close to asking that night, all those months ago, the first time I was in this room.”

“You were wearing that same shirt.” Josh leaned back and looked at me, his hands paused in their motion but holding us together still.

“Oh, yeah, I was! And you were wearing …”

“Something that said HU Hockey, probably.”

“Definitely something that said HU Hockey.”

“I like what you’re wearing much better now, my prince.” Josh stood and held a hand out for me. We embraced and kissed softly, Josh guiding my hands to his backside and leading one to his crack. Together, our fingers drifted over his hole before Josh pulled away from our embrace.

“On the bed, prince. I’ll be right there.”

Josh bent down to grab his jeans and started to put them on. “Where are you going, babe?”

“I left my duffle in your bathroom. I have condoms in there.”

“Take those off,” I said as I leaned over to my nightstand. “I told you I’d learned a few things.” I waved the bottle of lube and the box of condoms before tossing the lube to the bed and opening the box. Josh was naked and sitting on the bed in an instant.

“You have lube and condoms in your bag? You brought them to the farm?” I asked. “Were you hoping to get lucky?”

“No. Yes. Maybe? Honestly”—Josh flipped the cap and applied the liquid to his fingers, standing up and reaching behind him as he continued—”I thought it might be my last chance. I really thought your parents were going to talk you out of …”

“You thought I was going to shove myself back in the closet.”

“I thought it was a possibility.” I reached my hand out for the lube as I watched Josh play with himself.

“Honestly, Josh, if this weekend’s taught me anything, it’s the opposite. I loved having you at my home, and yeah, I was nervous, but I love that your parents know too. I’m excited for you to tell Devon and the rest of your family. I’m sorry about what you went through today, but maybe this means no more secrets?” I asked hopefully.

I stood and kissed him as I opened the lube above his back, my hand finding his and feeling the finger he had lost in his opening. It had me moaning into his mouth before arching back and away from him.

“I can take it, babe. Add your finger,” he said. I did as he wanted, sliding my digit against his. He grasped my hand, and together, slowly, we fucked his hole. At one point, he gave his finger a little jiggle and let out the most delicious moan.

We kissed again while we continued to work, and eventually Josh added another finger. He pulled away, and I was so lost in the moment that I chased his face for another kiss, which he happily gave. Chuckling, he separated our lips again, his fingers wrapping tighter around mine inside him, guiding it.

“Right here,” he said before pressing my finger along his inside wall. The move had his dick twitching against me, and he huffed while I moaned into his mouth.

He pulled our fingers out, lubing his once more and spreading it in his hole before running a hand up and down my cock.

“Lie down, my prince.” He guided me gently to the bed and slid down my body until his breath was on my member. He looked at me from above it before taking me deep in one confident plunge, bobbing up and down as he perched on his knees between my legs.

He pulled off. “Slide down, baby.”

“Josh!” I implored. “I won’t last.”

“It’s okay, baby. Let me play. We’re here alone, right? We’ve got all night?”

He was on me again before I could answer, and almost immediately, all coherent thought left me as he pumped and sucked and licked me. His hands roamed my sides, but when they left me momentarily, one came back covered in slick and teasing my hole. Josh pulled off and looked at me.

“You can stop me anytime, okay?”

I was unable to form words but nodded eagerly, my hair flopping in my face. I could see Josh’s smile through the strands, and before I could reach for it myself, he was there, dragging his fingers through it, grease and all, and looking into my eyes like he could see my soul. “I love your hair. Especially when you pull it back with a headband, but also when it falls in your face like floppy puppy-dog ears. How you go from cute and endearing to hot and sexy with one flick of these bangs is beyond me. They’ve been driving me crazy for months, Cam. I want to run my fingers through them all the time.”

“Anytime you want, babe. They’re all yours. I’m all yours.” I was so worked up and turned on that I don’t think I one hundred percent realized what I was saying. Then I was too turned on for anything but more grunts and thrusts. Josh knelt between my legs again, and without taking his eyes from mine, he poured more lube on his hand.

“Your turn, prince.”

He sucked me down again, resting a slick finger at my entrance. I bucked up to meet his pumps, barely realizing that I was also pushing on that finger, eager for it.

He pulled off. “I’ve got you, Cam.”

I grunted in frustration, thrusting up, missing his mouth on me and bearing down on his finger in desperation.

“I’ve got you,” he insisted again before he started kissing my thigh. “I love your rough hair.” He lifted my knee until one of my feet was flat on the bed. Instinctively, I adjusted, giving Josh better access to my hole. “I love how it travels back here,” he said, kissing the underside. “And right here.” He was kissing the wall of my crack, close to my hole, and I bucked up again. My whole life had been about maintaining control, on the ice and off, keeping my body fit and healthy, and in order to avoid those pesky distractions, it had also always been about controlling my desires.

I’d never been more out of control. I trusted him fully and let myself go as he continued to alternate between kissing my thighs and ass and sucking my cock, his finger slowly working its way inside while I was practically too distracted to notice. When he began to slide it in and out, I could feel a slight burn. It wasn’t unwelcome.

Josh worked his way up my body, kissing and licking my abs and pecs and sucking on one of my nipples, that finger in my hole the entire time. The sensation on my nipple had me moaning, and Josh met my lips to capture and steal it.

“You are so fucking hot. I have never been more turned on. I can’t wait for you to fuck me, Cam,” he muttered as our lips brushed. “But first.” He smiled, and he placed pressure on the finger inside me, finding that spot that I had been too afraid to ever seek out for myself until I’d met Josh.

He pulled away to look at me, and my eyes closed as I arched back. I let out a moan that was more of a shout before keening out a grunt for each stroke and push on my prostate.

“So fucking sexy, Cam.” He kissed all over my neck and collarbones as he slowed his strokes and slowly removed his finger. It wasn’t until he was no longer filling me that I realized that any discomfort had faded away, replaced with desire and an explosive intensity. I couldn’t wait to have Josh’s cock fill me like his finger had, and I told him so.

“Soon, baby. We’ll get there. But don’t forget that my hole is ready and waiting to take this monster.”

Josh squeezed and released me before finding the lube and arching up from between my legs to apply more to himself.

He leaned back, giving me a show as two fingers entered and began moving around.

“Can you put a condom on, baby?” I was surprised by the urgency in his voice.

The last time I’d opened a condom pack was in ninth-grade health class, when I’d placed one on a banana.

I feigned confidence as I nodded, taking my eyes from the show in front of me to find the packet I’d placed on the nightstand, hoping Josh hadn’t clocked the slight tremble in my hand.

I turned to find his open palm in front of my face. “Hand it over, baby.”

Words still escaped me, so I simply placed the packet in his outstretched palm. Josh leaned over and picked up the closest piece of clothing from the floor, my T-shirt, wiping his hands on it. He presented it to me.

“HU Hockey.”

I didn’t realize how tense I was until I laughed at the comment. I took a deep breath to relax as Josh tossed the shirt behind him, where it landed near the foot of the bed.

Josh opened the packet and grabbed my cock, which had deflated somewhat. He smiled at me and gave it a few pumps. “I know you want my mouth back on this, baby. But this is going to be so good. Let me get this on you, and then you’re going to shove this big cock in me until I see white and scream your name so loud they’ll hear it at Cortland Hall.” He pumped and squeezed me as he talked nonsense, and then he slid the condom on with ease before extricating himself from between my legs. He crawled up to kiss me before turning and lying down, his back to me.

He arched his head to look at me. “Like this, okay?” he asked before moving his top leg so that it lay on the bed. I inhaled deeply and ran my fingers down his back and backside before placing an arm underneath his neck. I lifted up, and Josh leaned back again to kiss me before passing me the lube, which I applied to my stiffening member.

“Fuck me, baby. I’m so ready.” I nodded into his lips before pulling back. Josh positioned his top leg out again, and I grabbed my sheathed cock, pumping it a few times, then instinctively tapping it at his hole. Josh inhaled, then stretched his top leg out even more as if offering himself up to me.

While I began gently experimenting with pushing my tip through, Josh’s hand found my hip, seeking purchase to pull me closer to him. I guided my tip deep enough that I could remove my hand from my cock. I entwined our fingers and wrapped my arm around Josh’s chest as I slowly sunk my dick inside him for the first time. We inhaled at the same moment when my body lined up flush with his. He released my hand to find his way once again to my hip, gripping me tight as he pushed back against me. I dragged my hand until it was over his heart. I could feel it beating. Josh began to gently rock his hips, and my lips found his earlobe, sucking on it before whispering, “Mine.”

“God, yes,” Josh agreed. “All yours.” He rocked and swayed in ways that had me seeing stars before I’d done anything more than settle myself inside him. “I’m yours, baby, use me. Make us both come.” I nodded into the crook of his neck before I slowly pulled almost all of the way out and back in, once, twice, thrice. On the third swipe, Josh groaned. “Right there, Cam. Right there.”

I continued to pump in and out, trying to focus on pegging Josh with each pass. I’d wanted to keep up the slow pace, to take it all in, the feel of Josh’s heartbeat, the tightness wrapped around my cock, causing it to pulse with such pleasure that I could feel it to my very core. I imagined the pleasure pulsing through my fingertips and out to Josh’s heart, encircling us in a closed loop of connection that began where he opened himself up for me in such an intimate way. I closed my eyes and focused on that heartbeat and the tightening of his inner walls. I tried to take it all in, hoping to remember my first time.

But all too quickly, my instincts took over, and my pace increased with each pump. I remember Josh’s second hand finding my fingers over his heart, his first still pressed tight against my hip. I know he matched me thrust for thrust, shoving back as I pushed forward. I know there were words spoken, a “yes” from him each time I hit his prostate. A “mine” from me with every snap of my hips. I remember my core tightening, and my balls, and I can picture when Josh adjusted his legs so that they lay parallel, causing his channel to tighten even more, but I don’t remember much beyond that, because shortly after he adjusted, his cries of “yes,” became incomprehensible, whining moans. It was by far the most animalistic sound I had ever heard from another human being, and as a hockey player, I had witnessed my fair share of grunts and groans.

I remember when he shouted, “I’m coming,” that his hands were still positioned on my hip and his heart, and that mine were wrapped around his chest. I looked over to see cum spouting from his untouched dick before Josh grabbed it and tugged to finish himself off.

And I remember how much tighter his channel became as he yelled out in ecstasy, louder than any of the other times we’d been together. And I remember, and was sure I would remember until my dying day, the way my entire body exploded as I came, grunting into Josh’s ear as my thrusts became erratic, and I chased my own pleasure, using him like he’d asked me to.

We were quiet for a long time, my cock softening inside him while we both inhaled long, hungry breaths. The hand on my hip started to move around.

“Babe?” I asked.

“Hold the end of the condom as you pull out.”

“Oh, right. Got it.” Josh hissed as my spent cock emerged. I marveled at the cum-filled mess of my encased dick. “Are you okay, babe?”

Josh rolled over then, looking radiant, cum-spackled, with a layer of sweat all over his body. He worked the condom off me and knotted it. “Never better,” he said before pecking my lips and climbing over me to get off the bed.

“You could have gotten out on the other side,” I said as I rolled over to watch him toss the condom in the trash before running to the bathroom and back.

“That was more fun.”

He waved a pack of baby wipes in front of me. “You know Dev came home from my brother’s in January, all excited to have discovered the practicality of baby wipes.” He handed me one before using one to wipe his ass. I wiped my hands, but he rolled his eyes at me, took another cloth, and wiped off my dick, hip checking me until I scooched over, and he could sit on the bed.

“Oh God, Cam. He was probably using them for the same reason. Ew, I’m back to thinking about my brother!” he said before curling up in the fetal position, just like I’d found him hours earlier except with fewer clothes on.

I wrapped him up in my arms.

“We can stay here tonight, right, baby? I don’t want to face either of them just yet.”

“Yeah, we can,” I said. I pulled him close, his back to my front again. “But I have to take the truck back to the farm in the morning, and you really need to talk to your brother and Devon. No more secrets, right, Shelley?”

“No more secrets, my prince.” I scoffed at the name and was rewarded with a glare from my boyfriend. We rested for a bit, got up, and shared a shower, where we jacked each other off until we both came again, then we threw some sweats on and ordered a pizza, which we devoured while watching a mindless action movie.

When we returned to my room, it was to the sound of Josh’s phone buzzing. He took it up briefly, scanning through his notifications. “Dev and my brother are blowing up my phone.”

He looked from me to the phone, promising that he would talk to everyone tomorrow before powering it down.

We crawled into bed, and Josh wrapped himself around me. I pulled him close to my chest and wrapped him in my arms, kissing the top of his head.

“No more secrets,” he said again, and I know he was thinking about him and Devon, but I was thinking about so much more than that.