Page 18 of Josh’s Play (Hampstead Valley #4)

Chapter Eighteen

Campbell

It was a challenge for Josh and me to find time together, but there was one afternoon that neither of us had class and my housemates did. We made use of that particular hour and a half every week. Occasionally, we’d run into one of my roommates, who shrugged it off as me hanging out with my “friend from the party” as everyone still called him.

Josh, true to his word, didn’t tell anyone about us, and we pointedly did not hang out with his circle of friends. Josh said he didn’t think he could hide how he felt in front of them. He hadn’t told his family since so many of them were entwined with the college, and though he and Devon had talked briefly after Josh’s performance at the stragglers’ party, he hadn’t come right out and told his best friend either.

I came home one weekday evening to my roommates all heading out. “We’re doing dinner and a movie. You in?”

“Nah,” I said nonchalantly. “I think I’ll hang out here. Got some reading to catch up on.” Noah shot me a look, which I ignored as I pulled out my phone to text Josh.

Finn: Got the place to myself for a few.

Shelley: Fuck, dinner with my parents and Devon. Aa scout came to see Hunter!!!!!!

Shelley: How is it possible I have two future professional sportsball people in my life?

Josh knew me well enough at that point to immediately text me an image of a hand, knocking on a piece of wood.

Shelley: I can’t believe I’m missing out on an empty house.

Finn: It’s ok. That’s amazing about Hunter. Have fun with your family.

I sat in my empty house, thinking about Josh being home with his parents and hating that they didn’t know about us. I could tell keeping us quiet was eating at him, but he tried to mask it when we were together. Later that night, I’d worried myself so much that I texted him again.

Finn: Dinner over? The guys aren’t back yet.

As soon as I typed that I regretted it.

Finn: Fuck that. Come over either way.

It took a few minutes, but Josh responded.

Shelley: Putting Drunk Devon to bed. Are you sure?

Finn: Miss you.

He sent a heart and then an image of the number fifteen. It was actually more like half an hour before he made it over. My roommates weren’t home yet. Noah had texted that they were stopping for drinks after the movie. He let me know that they’d be out for at least another hour.

“I can’t believe we have the place to ourselves,” Josh said.

“Yeah, they’ll be back soon, but I wanted to see you.” Josh was unzipping his coat and beelining for the stairs.

“We need to hurry,” he called as I followed.

He was in my room and stripping before I’d even made it up the stairs.

“Wait, Josh!”

“I know it’s more fun when you peel my clothes off, but we don’t have time!” Josh and I had been together a number of times since our night at the park but hadn’t gone any further than using our hands, or Josh’s mouth, to get off. I was looking forward to doing more, but part of me was holding back because of all the sneaking around. I think Josh was, too, and I thought it was time to talk about it.

“Wait, Josh, please. I didn’t invite you over for that.”

“It’s so cute how you don’t say the words. Are you saying this isn’t a booty call, because Devon totally thinks I got a booty call, and I have a reputation to uphold, Finn? Especially if I have to pretend I'm still a player.”

Josh was joking, but his words still stung. I grunted in frustration.

“I’m so sorry. I really hate this, all the sneaking around. You lying to Devon and me to the team.”

“You know it’s okay, Campbell. We’ll figure it all out. Get there when we get there, right?”

“I’m afraid I’m frustrating you.”

“You are still fully clothed.”

Josh tugged his jeans off and sat on my chair in his underwear. I sat on the bed opposite him, like we had the night he’d become the “guy from the party.”

“You’re being too good about this.”

“And you’re apologizing too much. I knew what I was getting into.”

Josh stood between my legs as he’d done that night and caressed my cheek the same as the first time we were alone in my room. I loved it when he stood, and I had to look up at him. I imagined how hot it would be to look up at him from even lower down.

“You were so stressed out that night, my prince. But it’s supposed to be better now.” He was remembering that evening too. “I’m supposed to make you feel better, not worse. I am not upset. I am right where I want to be. Except …” He quirked a smile.

“Except, I'm wearing too many clothes.” I smiled back.

Unlike the first night, he leaned in and kissed me. I let him lead for a few beautiful minutes, my hands running up and down his naked torso, his easily finding their way under my ratty T-shirt. I pulled us apart to toss it aside, and Josh’s lips sought mine again, but soon I trailed mine away from his, seeking his earlobe and neck and working my way further down. I loved the taste of him, the lemony scent giving way to something more natural, more primal. I focused on a spot on his shoulder, pulling off to see a red mark that I thought might last a few days. I’d never done that before, and I marveled at it for a beat before returning to inhale the scent of him where my mouth had been.

I moved more quickly then, knowing what I wanted. My lips trailed the length of his torso and grasped his waist. I guided him back a step as I slid from the bed to the floor. From above me, he gently placed my head in his hands and pulled it back until I was looking into those remarkable eyes. He was a sight to behold, his face combining lust and concern so effortlessly.

My hands were at his waistband, and I began to pull his briefs down.

“Yeah?” was all he asked. I nodded, and he nodded back, trusting that I was ready to try something new.

I loved the weight of Josh’s cock in my hand, and he loved when I was the one jerking him off or taking both of us in hand. I held his cock then, and it was heavy and red already. I slid my hand to the base and was rewarded with a hiss from Josh. I looked up to find his head thrown back, his neck exposed and splotchy on the side I had kissed and sucked on. I was ready to suck on something else.

Holding the base, I opened my mouth and guided Josh’s dick into it. He moaned along with my first drags up and down his member. I met my hand and worked my way back up, slowly at first. After a few bobs, I toyed with his tip, wanting to taste him. I was rewarded with a salty burst on my tongue. It wasn’t pleasant, but I didn’t hate it, and the sounds Josh was making meant I would have suffered through it either way. Instinctively, I began to work faster, pumping and squeezing with my hand as my mouth sucked and moved.

“Fuck, my prince. So good.”

My other hand found its way to Josh’s ass and didn’t stop until my fingers wrapped around and into his crack.

“Touch me, baby!” he yelled, and I pulled off.

“Shh. I don’t know when the guys are getting home.”

Josh looked down at me, contrite, and said, “If I promise to be quiet, will you keep sucking my cock, my prince?”

In my sweats, my own cock jumped at the words. All I could say was, “Uh-huh.”

Josh’s cock was a wet mess, but I could tell the bead of pre-cum from the rest. I grasped him tightly and licked his slit, liking the taste more the more I got used to it. Josh aborted a moan and hissed instead as I toyed with the tip of his dick and squeezed and stroked him.

He got his breathing under control and found my hand around his ass, guiding it up to his mouth. I stopped my work for a beat as he shoved one of my fingers in his mouth and sucked on it. He pulled it out, and as I sucked him down again, he said, “I want you to touch me. I want it so fucking bad.” He guided my hand back to his ass, and I slowly felt my way to his hole with a wet finger.

He whispered the next part. “I want you inside me, Cam. That big cock of yours. Is it hard, baby? Are you ready to come like I am? Someday soon, are you going to fuck me? Will you let me fuck you?” The whispered words were keeping him from moaning or shouting. If I hadn’t already been impossibly hard, they would have turned me the fuck on. I wanted it all with Josh and hoped that sucking him off was the first of many new experiences. I hummed my response from around his cock.

I pulsed pressure on his hole in time with the bobs of my head, my other hand working his dick. My own cock begged for mercy, and I imagined his lips on me as mine were on him, sucking harder and faster until Josh’s whispered words became nonsensical, and hot streams of bitter cum shot down my throat. I couldn’t manage it all and sputtered a little, feeling it drip down my chin, but I was reluctant to move my hands, wanting to ring every last bit of pleasure out of Josh.

He was the one who eventually gentled my head from his cock by guiding my chin with his hand. I removed my hand from his ass and used the back of it to wipe my mouth and chin. Thinking about where that hand had been had me moaning as I knelt before Josh, and he looked down at me adoringly.

He flopped in the chair and said, “You’re going to have to be quiet, too, my prince.” He placed his arms on the armrests and stared at me hungrily. “Take those off, baby.”

I still couldn’t form words, but maybe none were needed. I fixed my gaze on him and pulled my sweatpants and underwear off.

“On the bed, prince.” I sat down on the foot of the bed, sliding to the edge and spreading my legs wide. Josh rolled the chair over and sucked his own finger in his mouth, never taking his eyes off me as he removed it and found my hole.

I breathed in and nodded, and Josh leaned forward then, swallowing me down in one fluid motion. I wanted to focus on the finger at my hole. Josh wasn't doing any more than I had done, putting a little pressure on the area, but the sensations of getting sucked off and fingered were too much, and I was too worked up at that point. I didn’t last very long before I was coming down Josh’s throat, the finger that had been at my ass now in my mouth as Josh whispered, “Shh, suck on this and stay quiet. I think they’re home.”

I flopped back on the bed, my world turning upside down before re-righting itself. Josh sat in the chair watching me.

“Stay,” I said, and Josh nodded. I hated that he scurried to the bathroom and back before we hid in my room for the rest of the night, but I loved having him there with me. Like the last time he’d stayed, I shooed my teammates out the door before texting Josh that the coast was almost clear, and that he was free to head downstairs and have breakfast with a very smiley Diane.

We didn’t risk anything like that again but continued to find time to be together whenever we could. Our text chain would probably reach the moon with the amount of time we spent talking when we weren’t together. The semester continued on like that as the season wound down, and we made it to the first round of the playoffs. We didn’t make it any further than that that year.

It was closer to Easter when my parents and I had our first official meeting with the agent we had chosen to work with me in my negotiations with the Blizzard.

Josh was traveling to New York City with his parents and Devon to volunteer at an event with his older brothers. A week or so prior, we had been hanging out in my living room since we’d unexpectedly found one of my roommates at home. With some reality competition show on in the background, we shared the couch, facing each other, a proper distance apart. My roommate mumbled something about skipping class because he was hung over. “Gonna take a nap,” he eventually muttered as he headed for the downstairs bedroom. I lowered the volume on the TV, which we tended to keep at blaring levels, hoping it wouldn’t interfere with nap time.

Josh made an exaggerated point of looking around before quickly pecking my lips. “Such a gentleman,” he said before scooting back even further from me on the couch. We had been talking about Josh’s pending trip, and he returned to that conversation.

“Maybe you could come instead,” Josh had proposed. “As a friend,” he quickly added. “Though we would have our own hotel room.” His eyes waggled up and down so much I slid my hand down his face.

“Stop that, weirdo.”

“I can’t imagine Devon really wants to spend the weekend with my parents and my older brothers. They’re like twenty years older than us. I could tell my parents we’re just friends.” He looked at me expectantly, and I imagined what it would be like to have our own hotel room for a whole night. The look on Josh’s face told me he might be thinking the same thing.

He did the eyebrow thing again and I did the hand swipe one more time. We laughed, but then my face dropped. “I’ve got meetings that weekend, in Buffalo.”

“I love how casually you say that. I’ll be in Buffalo that weekend. You know, just negotiating my NHL contract or whatever.” He blew on his fingernails and brushed them on his shoulder. I gave him a little shove in the same spot.

“And what about you, with Professor Dayden helping you shop that article about out players?”

“You’re not mad about that?” He asked. I gave him a funny look without answering otherwise.

“I mean that I wrote about that. You were one of my inspirations, after all.”

“And so is Hunter. And it’s a really beautiful article. It’s given me a lot to think about.”

Quietly, Josh said, “That’s not why I wrote it. You know I support you.”

“I know you do. And I support you too.”

“God, we’re such grown-ups. Ugh! When did that happen? I have a boyfriend …”

Okay, wow, he had never said that word before, but I didn’t interrupt him just because my heart was beating out of my chest at the phrase.

“... and an almost-published article. I’m graduating. And I’m volunteering at a fundraiser for an LGBTQIA youth center. I want to go back to …” I stopped him with a kiss.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“Well, no, I don’t want to go back to that . But remember when we were little, and we had, like, no responsibility?”

I could feel my brow furrowing before Josh mimicked my move and brushed his fingertips down my face.

I explained, “You’re practically the youngest in your family. I’m the oldest, and I grew up on a farm, so no, I don’t really remember a time without responsibility.”

Josh pouted at me. “So no trip to NYC?”

“Maybe next time.” I leaned in and kissed him again.

“Speaking of being responsible, Dayden really wants us to consider uploading the pod. He said if we time it with your announcement, it might help me find a job as a writer or blogger or whatever.”

“Oh, wow. I never thought about that. Um, you know I might not …”

“Yeah, I know.” We both rapped our knuckles on the coffee table in front of us even though it was made of some kind of composite material and definitely not of natural wood.

“ If you have an announcement at some point in your life, maybe we can time the podcast to coincide.”

“Yes, absolutely,” I agreed. We were quiet for a minute before I opined, “It’s weird to think about.”

“How so?”

“I mean, I get that we were making a podcast, but I guess I never thought about people actually listening to it. Other than Dayden.”

“We don’t have to.”

“No. No. I want to.” I said the next part and maybe only realized how true it was after I said it. “I want people to know who I am. Like, know me for me, or whatever.”

“And I can’t wait for people to know how clueless I was about hockey before I met you.”

We snuck another quick kiss before turning back to the TV. As a graduating senior, Josh’s semester was a little more relaxed than mine, so I took my tablet out, tuned out the TV, and started on some coursework.

“You know, you won’t have to worry about school if this meeting goes well next week.”

Josh rolled his eyes as I knocked on the table again and waited for him to do so as well before I replied by shaking my head. “Oh, I guess we never really talked about it, but I do plan to graduate college before I …” Instead of finishing that sentence I rapped on the table once.

“Oh, cool,” Josh smiled. “So you’ll be here one more year.”

“It’s really important to me that I finish my degree. I could twist my ankle at any moment.” Josh intercepted my hand that time and kissed my knuckles. I pulled away quickly when we heard the front door open and close and I tapped the table again.

I had a quick second of disappointment when another housemate walked in to find us laughing, but even just hanging out with Josh, with my boyfriend , while other people were around was nice too.

We texted constantly, and his trip to NYC was no exception. He narrated the entire drive down, commenting that Devon was acting weird.

Finn: He’s stuck in a car with your parents for 6 hrs, he’s probably just acting polite.

Finn: Maybe you could take some pointers.

Shelley: Ha-ha.

Shelley: I get your point but trust me. I know Dev. Something’s up.

Finn: Don’t forget, he’s not the only one with secrets. Maybe let him have his?

Shelley: Yup and I’ll have mine.

We were still texting when the Marchetti-Gordon clan got to the hotel late in the evening. I snapped a picture of the hotel room I was in, even further in Upstate New York than HU or my family's farm, then took another one out the window, with a view of the arena.

Finn: The Blizzard put us up in a really nice place. I have my own room. We have lunch tomorrow and the big meeting in the afternoon. They’re gonna take us on a tour in the morning.

Shelley: I’m so excited for you, Finn. So fucking proud.

A picture of a nondescript hotel room and one of a brick building as seen out a window came through next.

Shelley: I do not have a room to myself. Sharing with Dev.

Finn: Too bad. I was just thinking about yesterday afternoon …

Shelley: Behave, Finn. This is a New York City hotel room. Way too small.

Shelley: Dev is like right next to me. Do not turn me on right now.

Finn: I hear ya. Still thinking about that move, though.

I was treated to a GIF of a guy with his fingers in his ears and the caption, “La la la. I can’t hear you.”

Finn: Babe?

Shelley: Yes, my prince?

Finn: Have a good night and have fun with your family tomorrow.

Shelley: I’m not going to wish you good luck. You don’t need it. Plus there’s not enough wood for you to knock on in the whole of Upstate New York if I told you how amazing you are and how great everything is going to go.

Shelley: So I’ll just say good night, too.

Only, we didn’t. We continued texting until the early hours of the morning. Just talking, joking, sharing stupid memes. Eventually, Josh texted:

Shelley: Don’t say a word.

I texted back a question mark, but Josh had switched to video chat, and soon we were sharing sleepy smiles. My messaging app pinged, and I minimized Josh’s image.

Shelley: You’re on mute. I’m in the bathroom, but this room is tiny, so I don’t want to make any noise. Can you show me that move?

Finn: But you’re the one who did it to me.

Josh pulled a face, and I flashed a finger to convey that I needed a minute. I propped my phone up on the hotel room desk, grabbed the lube from my nightstand, and slid to the end of the bed.

I looked up to see Josh watching as I began to finger myself. I started out putting on a show for him but soon found myself getting into it. Josh had played with my hole a sum total of twice by that point, but I’d not yet done it to myself. I worked one finger in and eventually worked up the nerve to seek out the spot that Josh had found that made my whole core tingle and my mind go senseless.

I kept enough sense about me as I rode the wave to know I wanted Josh to see my reaction, so I pushed up on my other arm to see him leaning back in the throes of passion. All I could see was his face, really mostly his neck and chin at that point, but we’d spent enough time getting each other off that could picture his dick, the one I loved to have in my hand when he was making that face, as it spouted and pulsed and brought him joy. I knew him well enough to tell that he was holding back, attempting to keep quiet, I assumed, so his roommate wouldn’t hear him.

I was right behind him, moaning and grunting as I came all over my abdomen. I dropped to the bed, blissed out, but fought through it to jump up and grab the phone.

He’d texted “ Let me see ,'' and I panned my stomach and my cock for him before bringing the phone back to my face. I opened my mouth but snapped it shut quickly, realizing I was about to mouth I love you to the man currently hiding in a tiny bathroom covered in cum.

I settled for texting, “ I miss you ,” then, “ I’m going to sleep for real this time .”

We ended the night, or early morning, with his, “ I miss you too ,” but Josh kept up the commentary and sent photos of his day in a Brooklyn park, working with his family, members of his brother AJ’s fire department crew, and kids, staff, and volunteers from a local LGBTQIA youth center. He was still updating me on his day as he and his family headed back to Jamie’s house for pizza and game night. Josh went silent for a while, and I pictured him sharing a meal and competing with his family members, but when he returned to his phone, it was with a “ holy shit ,” followed by a text letting me know that Jamie, who had been married to a woman and was sadly a widower, had come out as pansexual at the age of forty-three.

Josh was weirded out by the fact that his roommate, who’d stayed with Jamie during his internship a few months earlier, seemed to have already known.

Finn: That kinda makes sense. If he was figuring that shit out when Devon was staying with him, who better to talk to than a gay guy?

Shelley: That’s exactly what AJ said. Stop being so sensible and mature. I want to be pissy that I wasn’t in on the secret.

Shelley: Ooh, I guess this is the secret that Dev’s been hiding. The way he’s been acting is a little dramatic for something that doesn’t have anything to do with him, but whatever. It’s all out now. No more secrets!

I tugged my hair in frustration, and it made me think of my mother’s comment that I always did that when I was stressed.

Finn: You should tell your family.

Shelley: What?

Finn: We both should.

Shelley: Finn, don’t be rash. we’ll talk about this when I get home, ok?

Finn: Ok.

The next afternoon, Josh sent a text describing a little gazebo on campus that I’d passed a few times because it was tucked behind the trees that lined my street. What I didn’t realize at the time was that those same trees held a path directly to Josh’s backyard. It was a surprisingly mild day for Upstate New York in spring as I waited on the bench in the gazebo, staring out at the hill that led to one of the clusters of dormitory buildings and thinking about my future, when Josh appeared on the steps.

“Hello, my prince. You look deep in thought.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“That’s what you were thinking about?”

I laughed at him, enjoying our little banter.

“Not at all. I was thinking very big thoughts, but first I want to know where the ‘prince’ thing came from.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I picture you wearing a raspberry beret?”

“And partying like it’s 1999?”

“Exactly.”

“No.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. It’s just, that’s how I saw you. How I still see you, really. You’re like this elevated person. You’re so talented, but that’s just part of it. You’re also good and kind, and you put your family first, like a responsible eldest son. You deserve to have your dreams come true for all of those reasons, and when I was falling for you, I needed to remind myself of that because, you know, of the whole distraction thing, so I shorthanded it by calling you my prince.”

He was looking at his shoes as he said most of that, and I sat in stunned silence for a few beats before responding, “You were falling for me?”

He looked up at me then, a quick look of panic fading into a smile. “I mean, wasn’t that part clear? I stopped hooking up with guys the minute I met you. I turned a simple project into a reason to attend every one of your home games.”

“Most of my games.”

“Most of your games. I mean, I learned what offsides means, for God's sake.”

“Clearly, it’s true love,” I said, and I was laughing as I said it, but Josh’s eyes went wide before getting very, very intense. I slowly stood, never taking my eyes off him.

“My prince,” he said before pouncing on me with a searing kiss. I held him up, like we’d done that night in his dorm room, and he wrapped his arms and legs around me. I sat us down, and eventually, Josh slowed the kiss, pulled back, and got comfortable on my lap.

“Did we just confess our love for each other?”

“I mean, I think so?” We rested our foreheads against each other and laughed as we took in the gravity of the moment.

“Hey, Josh,” I said without moving my head. He nodded but kept the connection with me.

“Call me that again.”

“My prince?”

I nodded.

“My prince. My prince, my …”

I kissed him again before pulling back and confessing, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” We locked eyes for a moment and took each other in.

“I’m going to Buffalo after I graduate.”

“That’s amazing.” Josh hugged me tight. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I meant what I said. You’ve been sneaking around with me, for me, and I don’t want you to have to do that anymore. Can you drive me home for Easter weekend? Meet my family, head back early on Sunday so you don’t miss your time with your niece? My dad will drive me back.”

Josh looked at me as if trying to figure out if I was serious. I kept our eyes locked to tell him I was.

“I mean, if it’s what you really want?”

“It is. And I’d like to meet your family as well. And maybe you can tell Devon.”

“Cam …”

“We told them I was gay when we met in Buffalo. Denny was surprised Coach Weadner hadn’t mentioned it. I told him he doesn’t know.”

Josh removed himself from my lap, sitting close enough to me that our sides were still connected. He held my hand and turned in slightly to look at me. He was doing that thing where he stared at me like he wanted to study every line and blemish on my face. He was reading me like a book, and it felt like he could tell everything I was feeling. I didn’t hate it.

“How’d that go?” Knowing how carefully he was studying me, I thought about it before I answered.

“I don’t think anyone in the room was homophobic, but they are all really practical. Denny said it doesn’t matter, but that it wouldn’t make my life any easier.”

“Not an untrue statement.”

“Not an untrue statement,” I agreed. “He seemed surprised when I told him I didn’t intend to come out. Said he has kids my age, and he thought we were all about oversharing.”

“Oversharing?”

“Yeah, his word. One of his staffers said that if I changed my mind, the team would support me, and that I had nothing to worry about. I watched him as he looked around the room at everyone until they all nodded.”

Josh hesitated. “And your parents?”

I found the question odd but answered it nonetheless. “They agree that I shouldn’t come out. It’s all good.” I didn’t elaborate that it had taken some doing for me to convince my parents to agree to that.

“So, Easter weekend?”