Page 24 of Jordan’s Breakthrough (Unexpected Love #3)

“Would you consider talking to your doctor again? About switching or adjusting or something? Because clearly, something’s still off if you’re fighting this hard.

And I feel like you’re only telling me this now because you think that’s just how it’s supposed to be.

Like what you felt, what we felt, was a one-time thing, and it doesn’t have to be. ”

I clench the bench again, unable to speak. Not because he’s wrong. Because he’s right. That was the reason I was telling him. I’ve been bracing for the happiness to fade again so he can see the ugliness and run away.

But hearing him now paints a different picture. It fills me with longing.

I draw in a breath. “I want more of what I felt last night. I want this. I want you. I just—I’m scared. That I won’t be good enough for you or that I’ll wear you down.”

Miles rubs my back. “Don’t draw a line in the sand before we give this a fair shot, okay? I’ve seen your depression, and I’m still here, Jordan. I still came, because I want to be with you.”

“What if I change my meds and I slip back again, though? Go back to feeling that way? You don’t deserve that burden.”

He takes my hand, like he just can’t bear it anymore. “Neither do you,” he says simply.

I turn away, unable to look at him.

“It’s a legit fear, Jordan. It is. But I want you to ask yourself, what if by changing your meds, you go forward ?

What if that’s what you need to feel that way more often?

” He squeezes my hand, kind voice never wavering.

Calming me. “And you’re not alone this time either,” he adds softly.

“You and Declan are close now. Piper too. And you have me. We’ll help you. ”

What good will Miles do if he’s a thousand miles away? My heart already aches with the thought of him leaving, and he only just got here.

But still, he’s right. I do have better support now. If I’m honest with Declan and Piper, and some of the others, they’ll understand. I have an entire crew of people who care now.

“I’ll think about it,” I say.

He exhales like he’s been holding his breath, then leans over to kiss my shoulder. He scoots closer, wrapping both arms around my middle. I let myself lean into him. Just a little.

“Thank you for telling me. I suspected it, but I’m glad you trusted me with it. And I’m really, really glad you’re still here.”

I kiss his head. “Me too.”

“Do you think we can go somewhere with AC now? I’m dying.”

I burst out laughing. “Come on.”

After the botanical gardens, we go home to cool off in my poor excuse of an AC for a while. The lemonade he’d bought is the ultimate refreshment after walking around in the sun.

We lie on the bed for a couple hours talking, tracing each other’s arms. Miles is definitely turned on, but he seems content just being together too. I’m glad. Because even though the will is there, the desire is not.

I kiss him. “We should probably get up. I owe you a date.”

Miles grins. “You don’t owe me anything, but you are welcome to take me out and spoil me if you’d like.”

“Is that so?” I can’t help but snicker. “Like being spoiled, do you?”

“Maybe. Where are we going?”

“Oh, don’t you worry.” I pull him close and kiss him. “I have something in mind.” A very specific plan, actually. But pulling it off would be tricky. “If I asked you to stay in here for twenty minutes enjoying the cool air, would you do that for me?”

He looks at me comically. “Why?”

“I can’t tell you that. It would ruin the surprise.” He chuckles but doesn’t pull away, so I kiss him again. “Please?”

“Fine. But only if Clematis stays in here with me. We still have to bond and all that.”

I look at my cat. “She might murder you.”

“She won’t.”

“She might.”

“Leave her.”

“Okay. Your life.” I shrug, then roll out of bed. “Twenty minutes, tops.”

I close the door and get to work making us some cold cut sandwiches. It might be cheating, using the food Miles bought for me, but hey. He’ll forgive me once he sees what I have in mind.

My palms are sweaty as I close the cooler and take it to the car. I feel like I’m seventeen on prom night, which is silly. We’ve already had our hands all over each other.

Emotionally, though? This feels worse than being naked.

I am completely exposed now after revealing my deepest secret, but not in a bad way.

Miles had listened and accepted it. He’d held it close and still leaned in, when the truth is, I expected him to pull away.

Or at the very least, I expected the sadness to linger after our conversation, but it hadn’t.

The moment we started walking again after that conversation, Miles changed the subject to something lighter and we slipped back into casual fun. By the time we reached the car, he had me laughing so hard my side hurt.

And he wasn’t even trying. That’s the thing. I know he’s not tiptoeing around me or trying to lift me up. He’s just being himself.

Once everything is loaded, I return to the bedroom, pausing when I see Clematis at the edge of the bed, way out of Miles’ reach. He’s on his side, talking to her and tapping the comforter with his fingers.

It’s unbelievably cute.

“Ready?”

Clematis bolts as soon as she realizes the door is open.

“Ugh, I almost had her,” Miles says.

We change into jeans, much to Miles’ annoyance, then we each grab a sweatshirt. “Are you sure we’re going to need this? It’s eighty degrees out,” he mumbles.

Grabbing his hand, we head out the door.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going.”

I look over at him. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Oh, you know I do. I’m just nosy.”

I wouldn’t call Miles nosy at all. He’s never once pushed for more information than I’m willing to give him.

“Just wait,” I tease.

He perks up when I pull into the entrance for Sunset Cliffs National Park. “Wait, really? You’re taking me to see the sunset?”

His enthusiasm is exactly the response I was hoping for. “You said you like romance.”

Miles grins at me. “You’re basically perfect, you know that?”

I roll my eyes. Far from it.

I show my Annual Park Pass at the gate, and we park as close to the stairs as possible.

After splitting the load of blankets, a large water thermos, and the cooler, we head down.

There are a few people walking the shoreline, but it doesn’t feel crowded.

That smell of salt and something ancient always hits me in my gut.

It centers me and pulls me out of my head.

Tonight, though, I’m already centered thanks to the gorgeous man beside me. His messy curls catch in the wind, making my pulse quicken. How did I win such a beautiful man?

“This way,” I say, tipping my head to the left. I lead him to my favorite flat shelf near the cliff’s edge. The sun is already nearing the horizon. “This’ll work.”

He is so lost in thought and captivated by the waves that he doesn’t hear me.

I take the blanket from him and spread it out. We sit down together.

From the cooler, I pull two wrapped sandwiches, the container of cut mango, a sleeve of cookies, and two wine goblets.

His brows lift when he sees the food. “All this looks strangely familiar,” he teases.

“Forgive me anyway?”

He bumps me, then his jaw drops. “Wait a minute, didn’t you work tonight?”

“Declan is covering for me.”

“Jordan! I didn’t expect you to take time off for me.”

I chuckle. “I didn’t.”

At his frown, I unlock my phone to show him the message from Declan. Miles is quiet when he hands it back to me. Too quiet.

“We don’t have to go tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

He lifts his gaze. “No, it’s fine. I think it sounds fun, actually.”

“You sure? Because you look sad.”

“Not sad.” He reaches for a slice of mango and chews. “The comment about making you happy.”

“What about it?”

“I just like hearing it. That’s all.”

Something passes between us, and I bump his shoulder, kissing him. “You make me really happy, Miles. I don’t mean just being here either. I mean all of it. Just knowing you.”

His cheeks turn red. “Me too.”

The food is good, but being here with him is even better.

Miles watches me like he’s cataloging every part of me.

In return, he hides nothing. I memorize every smile, every laugh.

Every tiny flicker of desire… because there are many.

Every time our hands brush or we share a kiss, Miles lingers, like he’s craving more.

And I want to give it to him. I do. I just need my body to comply, and it’s not quite there.

I reach for the wine, but he stills my hand. “You might save that.”

I frown. “You don’t like wine?”

He clears his throat. “Oh, I do. I just, um, tend to take my clothes off after a glass or two.”

I laugh. “Is that so?”

“I’m a big softy. It’s embarrassing.”

“Tonight then?” I say without hesitation.

“Definitely. But if you’re not up for anything more, that’s okay too. You can just enjoy the show.”

“Oh, I will. But I’d definitely like to try too.”

Desire blooms in his deep blue eyes as the humor fades. “Yeah?”

I lean in, kissing his shoulder. “I can’t promise a repeat of last night, but… yeah, Miles. I still most definitely want you.”

He grins slowly, then quickly clears his throat before reaching for his phone. “Do you mind if I take some pictures?”

Miles takes a couple of me, then he shifts closer so he can take some of us together. We turn around to include the ocean just as a couple walks by. The woman notices and offers to help. “Would you like me to take one of you two?”

“You don’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

Miles blushes but hands the woman his phone. I curl my arm around his back and lean in for the photo. A steady, strong feeling blooms in the pit of my chest. I’m in over my head with this man. Crazy about him, and it kind of scares me.

She hands it back with a big smile. “You’re a lovely couple. Enjoy your evening.”

I bump his shoulder. “We are a lovely couple, aren’t we?” I tease quietly.

Miles kisses me.

Eventually, the sun starts to dip lower, bleeding gold across the ocean. I stretch out on the blanket, one arm behind my head. Miles lies beside me, close but not quite touching.

The quiet settles between us like a second blanket.

“Miles?”

Miles turns his head, watching me.

“You said you’ve struggled with depression before.”

“A few times, yeah.”

“Would you tell me about it?”

Miles clears his throat. “The first time was after my Grandpa died. I was really close to him. He was actually the first person I came out to, and his acceptance gave me the courage to tell my parents. Which they already knew, of course. But still.”

“How old were you?”

“I came out when I was fourteen.”

“I meant when he died.”

“Oh. He died on my seventeenth birthday.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. It hit hard.” He sits up, sucking in a breath. “The second time was after Alex and I broke up. I knew we were wrong for each other, but it still hurt, ya know?” His voice lowers. “Then the last time was after I left home.”

“For work?”

He nods. “I… didn’t adjust well. I was lonely, and I felt guilty for leaving. Honestly, I think if it wasn’t for my contract, I would have given up within the first year and went home. But meeting Sophie helped.”

I reach for his hand, unsure of what to say. Miles grew up with a much more loving and supportive family than I did, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s what made the difference. Would things have been different for me if my dad actually cared?

“Is it weird that I envy you?”

He whips his head around, surprised.

“What I mean is….” I chew my lip, thinking.

“I’m not saying the circumstances lessen what you feel at all, but you had a reason to feel that way, you know?

I don’t. My brain just makes me feel like shit for no good reason.

Plus, you had support. I didn’t. My dad and my siblings, they didn’t give a fuck. Ever.”

He says nothing for a while, then gestures for me to sit up. When I do, he crawls in behind me, one leg on either side. “I don’t know what to say to that, so I’m going to hold you. Because it’s what I like when I’m sad.”

“I’m not sad, though.” Surprisingly.

“Yeah, well, I’m holding you anyway because depression fucking sucks.”

I laugh quietly and recline back against him with a big smile on my face. It does suck, but it’s been easier to carry since meeting Miles.

Miles kisses me sweetly, one arm around my chest. We watch the setting sun for a long time.

“Romantic enough for you?” I ask.

He hums softly in my ear. “It’s perfect.”

I wish like hell this wasn’t the only date we would get while he was here, but tomorrow we’re having dinner with Declan, and then he goes home. Our time together is quickly disappearing.

If only Miles could stay with me forever. The thought settles around us as I hold him, squeezing a bit tighter.