Page 12 of Jordan’s Breakthrough (Unexpected Love #3)

JORDAN

W hen I get to the movie theater an hour later, Declan, Seth, and Piper are already in the lobby waiting for me. Four other people are with them. I recognize Ian and Quinn, but not the other two.

Declan smiles when he sees me. “Hey, man. I was just about to call you.”

“Sorry, I got stuck in traffic.”

When I smile back, I’m surprised I don’t have to force it as much as I usually do. Maybe talking with Miles helped this morning. Or maybe it was the orgasm. Whatever the case, something definitely shifted.

A little, anyway. The darkness still lingers, but it isn’t as heavy.

Quinn holds his free hand out to me, the other is holding Ian’s. “Hey, Jordan. Good to see you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“Dad said you bought our tickets?”

I nod.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

I shrug. “It’s family day, and you’re family.”

His smile is affectionate. He looks so much like Seth, it’s crazy. “Well, thank you.”

“Who’s this?” I ask, gesturing to the newcomers.

Declan straightens. “This is Holden and his friend Korie.”

Holden . That name sounds familiar.

“Holden is a climbing coach at our gym,” Seth explains.

Oh. Yes, now I remember.

I narrow my eyes at Declan. And they’re here why?

“We just bumped into them,” Declan explains. “They have tickets to the same movie.”

Yeah, sure. Declan has been pushing for me to date again just as much as Piper. And after Piper’s comment about how Holden and I might hit it off? It seems too coincidental that they’d “happen” to come to the same movie at the same time.

But whatever. I’ll just keep my distance.

“We should probably head in. I have our tickets on my phone. They just need to be scanned at the door.”

“Cool, yeah. Let’s go,” Seth says.

Declan falls into step beside me as we walk. “So, it sounds like Quinn and Ian are coming tomorrow.”

I frown. “What’s tomorrow?”

“Poetry Night?” he says, alarmed. “At work?”

I nearly trip over my feet. “That’s tomorrow ?”

Fuck. I haven’t prepared this month’s drink specials yet. They vary each month based on the theme of the night.

He frowns. “Did you forget?”

I look away, trying not to let yet another failure show. They’re seeping into the cracks lately, threatening to cause damage.

“If you need help with the menu—”

“I’ll get it,” I snap. “I’ll be fine.”

Fuck, why did this slip through my fingers? Just like ordering the damn tickets. I’d only remembered on the way out the door. Everything seems to slip by me lately.

And Poetry Night, of all things? No wonder Declan is looking at me like I lost my marbles.

Poetry Night was originally my idea, years ago when Graham had been looking for ways to bring in more money.

I was involved in the writing community back then; one thing led to another, and soon Graham’s Bar was hosting quarterly Poetry Nights.

The events were a hit, consistently bringing in a profit, so Declan continued it after taking over the bar.

Since the renovation, the crowds have gotten even bigger, which means more revenue… but it also means they wear me out faster. Not only in planning the drinks, but in dealing with the people and being around that community. Feeling their enthusiasm cuts me deep. Every time.

I miss that part of my life more than anything, and there are many days I fear I won’t get it back.

Declan presses his lips into a thin line. “I used to say that a lot, you know. That I’m fine. But Seth made me realize how heavy it gets after a while, carrying it by yourself.”

I turn away, fiddling with some loose change in my pocket.

“All I’m saying is we’re a team, Jordan. Don’t forget that.”

Declan acts like he understands, but he never will.

He’s never lived in the darkness like I have.

He grieved Graham, sure, but I have decades of walking around with this shadow on my shoulders.

Decades of it swallowing me whole. And now that I have to watch him and Seth love on each other in perfect happiness?

It reminds me every damn day what I’m missing.

I fist my hands, willing myself to stay calm. I don’t want to ruin our day, but fuck him. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I am so sick of fighting this. It takes so much effort to even be here, and that’s something Declan will never understand.

Anchors, Jordan. Find the fucking anchors.

After we buy snacks for the movie, we stop at the self-service station so Piper, Declan, and Korie can add extra butter to their popcorn, then hurry off to the theater. The only available seating is near the top. Not my favorite, but it’ll work.

Piper sits on my left, Declan on my right, with Seth, Quinn, and Ian on the other side of him. Holden and Korie are beyond them.

As we wait for the movie to start, I catch myself wondering what snacks Miles would have chosen if he were with me.

Would he get popcorn or candy? And if so, what kind?

I always go for Whoppers or Mike and Ikes if I’m in the mood, but rarely popcorn.

I can never handle more than a couple of handfuls of the stuff, so I take some from Declan if the mood strikes.

Would Miles share his popcorn? Would he let me hold his hand after the previews? The thought makes me smile. I’d love to hold him in bed too, when we’re alone. I’m starting to think I would love to do a lot of things with Miles… if my brain would allow it.

You can come visit me.

God. The way my heart galloped when he said that.

I would love to meet Miles. This morning had been fun.

I’ve never jerked off for someone. In fact, I usually have to talk myself into doing anything with a partner, since I struggle to get hard at all.

But that hadn’t been the case this morning. It took effort, yes, but not as much.

Was it because of the conversation? Or was it because I’d felt connected to Miles in a way I’ve never experienced before? I felt safe with him as we talked. Drawn to him. I wanted more. Which is extremely rare for me.

Everything about Miles is rare. The sweet man broke through my barriers with the force of a down pillow, covering me with softness when I least expected it.

Instead of poking at my open wound, he sat with me, talked with me, and gave me the space to be myself.

He didn’t spit false platitudes or try to convince me it’s not as bad as it feels.

Because he understood it. Miles has gone through it.

Miles not only welcomed my burden, but he carried it by staying on the video call when I didn’t have energy to talk. That was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone.

I rub at my anchor tattoo, wishing he wasn’t so far away.

“You okay?” Piper whispers beside me.

I glance at her. “Yeah. Fine.”

“Is your mind busy?” It’s her way of saying is your mind being a dick?

“I’m fine,” I say again. I really am too. That’s what’s shocking. The weight isn’t there.

Finally, the lights dim, and the movie begins. I’d chosen an action packed sci-fi, and it holds my attention the entire time… even if it makes me think of Charlie. I miss that guy. Will I ever go back to his story?

Afterwards, we walk across the street to our favorite pizzeria.

Holden and Korie join us. It’s a small place with mismatched chairs and thrift-store decor.

One of those places where the only theme is there is no theme.

Anything goes. But we love their food and try to come often.

The brick oven pizzas are gooey and covered in herbs. Absolutely delicious.

“Grab a table. I’ll order a variety,” I say.

“I can get the drinks,” Holden offers.

“You don’t need to.”

He doesn’t take no for an answer, following me to the counter.

Holden is all smiles as we wait to place our order, chatting excitedly about the movie.

He reminds me of a golden retriever hoping to play fetch.

Except, I’m his toy. I can see the interest, and I can see why Piper thought I’d be interested in him, since I’ve dated similar men in the past. But there isn’t a spark, or even a flicker of interest on my part.

I mean, he’s cute and all, with his light eyes and side-swept blond hair, but he doesn’t even come close to Miles.

Miles is… Miles. An adorable, sweet teddy bear I want to snuggle. He’s the one I want.

And he’s a million miles away.

It’s so unfair.

There are only two seats left when we get to the long table in the middle, which means Holden and I are forced to sit together. I eye Piper suspiciously, but she’s too busy talking to Quinn to notice.

“Yeah, we’re starting another project in a couple of weeks. Ian and I are really excited for it.”

“Where is it?”

“In Melba, which is a small town near us. There’s an animal sanctuary there that caught fire recently, so we’re going to rebuild the pens and fix their main building. Things like that.”

“That sounds amazing,” Piper says.

“Yeah, we’re stoked,” Quinn says with a grin.

“How’s school going?”

Quinn groans. “It’s tough, working and going to class. But I’m managing.”

Seth is all smiles as he listens to his son, happy to have some time together.

He’s mentioned before that Quinn is in the Master of Business Administration program at Boise State University, and he’s clearly proud of him even if they’ve had a rocky year.

It’s unnerving how similar they look, with Quinn being a younger replica of his father.

Same sandy blond hair and hazel eyes. Same smile. Even a similar laugh.

“Maybe Declan and I can fly up for a few days soon.”

Quinn and Ian both smile. “We’d like that.”

Eventually, five large pizzas cover our table. I smother my pieces in grated Parmesan cheese—the only correct way to eat a pizza. As we eat, our conversation slows. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until the first bite. The piece of toast from this morning and box of Whoppers only went so far.