Page 7 of Jonas (Silver Team #4)

Too sharply, but she saw too much, which in turn made me feel something I’d never felt in my life—seen.

And that scared the fuck out of me because not even Cash’s ability to read me made me feel that way.

He was a brother, I could—and had—talk to him about anything.

He knew my secrets, he knew my past, and never had he looked at me with anything other than camaraderie.

He couldn’t know what it felt like to have parents like mine because he’d never had any, but he had a great understanding of my need to erase the past. But Derrika staring at me, easily seeing what I didn’t want anyone to see, her knowing I’d gone somewhere unpleasant and gently attempting to guide me back, had my shields slamming into place.

“Kira asked if you’ve told me about the Wentworth connection,” Derrika told me through gritted teeth and squinty eyes.

Shit .

“Not yet,” I belatedly answered Kira. “We just got to work when you called.”

“Who’s Wentworth?” Derrika inquired.

“Austin Wentworth is the Bolin Chen connection to Maddon,” I told her. “But before we go down that rabbit hole, let’s concentrate on the immediate threat—Barnes.”

Those squinty eyes still aimed at me turned to slits.

“I can multitask,” she grumbled.

“No doubt. But getting Cash and team intel on Barnes is more important,” I reminded her.

With one last filthy look, Derrika pushed off the couch and skirted the table. When she disappeared around the corner that I assumed led to her bedroom, I refocused on Kira.

“Why did Zane call to give me an update and not Layla?” I asked.

“She’s still not feeling well.”

The thought of having children sent a shiver through me, but I was seriously hoping that Layla not feeling well was because she was knocked up, or better, the flu and not something more serious.

“You’re sure there’s nothing wrong with her?”

There was a beat of silence before Kira softly said, “Yeah.”

That momentary pause didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies.

“Why’d you pause?”

“Because I was trying to figure out if you’re worried about Layla because she’s our team leader and good friend or if there’s something I’m missing.”

I exhaled, though it didn’t loosen the knot.

“Just worried about a friend.”

“She’s pregnant, Jonas.”

Kira sounded positive that was the issue.

“Then why is she hiding it?”

“Because she’s Layla and she’s a worrier.

Women don’t usually announce their pregnancy until they’re past the first trimester.

But she also is being shady about this because she knows she’ll have fifty overprotective men in her face about taking it easy.

She’ll also be benched, and you know Layla doesn’t mind an office but she’d rather be out of the office with Kevin. ”

Kira was only slightly exaggerating. “There are only twenty of us and if she’s pregnant she shouldn’t be out of the office.”

“Amen to that, brother,” Cooper smoothly put in.

“Don’t get any bright ideas, Cooper Cain,” Kira snapped.

“About knocking you up or chaining you to your desk when I do?”

Derrika came back into the room holding a red laptop but came to a stop after hearing Coop’s question.

“I swear I’ll hang a closed sign above my vag?—”

“Don’t finish that,” Cooper mercifully interrupted his wife.

“What is it with men and the word vagina?” Kira went on.

“Someone kill me,” I mumbled.

Coop didn’t mutter when he explained, “I have no problems with vaginas. I have a problem with my wife discussing her…lady parts in front of our teammate.”

I heard Derrika make a choking sound while she tried to cover her smile.

“Did he just say, lady parts ?” Derrika asked, sounding strangled.

“I’m hanging up,” I announced, then did just that.

I set my phone down on the table and looked up at Derrika.

This was a mistake. Her smile was so big, so blinding, so beautiful, I was stunned inert.

Obviously, this was the first real smile I’d ever seen the woman give because there was no way I would’ve missed the dimple in her right cheek.

It wasn’t a deep grove, but the slight indent ratcheted up her appeal.

“Are they always like that?”

“I wish I could say no.”

Derrika’s lips twitched.

“Must be nice working with a team.”

As soon as the wistful words left her mouth, she looked like she wanted to pull them back.

“Tell me about the Wentworth connection.”

I knew a thing or two about a subject change. I should’ve let her have that play, but for the life of me, I couldn’t. The need to understand why sadness had crept into her gaze overwhelmed me.

“I will after you tell me what put that look on your face.”

“What look?”

Yeah, I knew a thing or two about deflection, too.

“The look that tells me you wished you wouldn’t’ve said anything about working with a team.”

Derrika blanked her face and made no move to regain her seat next to me.

“I know that look, too,” I informed her. “I mastered it by the time I was ten.”

“Ten?” she asked and lifted her right brow in disbelief.

The brow lift was cute.

“Ten,” I confirmed.

“That doesn’t sound good,” she softly muttered her understatement.

It wasn’t good. No child should learn how to hide—physically or emotionally.

But that was life.

“Your turn.”

To her credit, she didn’t play dumb. She knew what I was asking and didn’t prevaricate.

“Just what I said, it must be nice working with a team. I’ve always been a one-woman show.”

There had been a long stretch of time where I’d worked solo. though I still had a team to call on. So I knew she was right—working with a team day in and day out was better.

“And why the look?” I pushed.

“I was surprised that slipped out. Normally, I have better control of my tongue.”

I didn’t bother stopping my smile, though I did have enough sense to stop my comeback.

Her gaze dropped to my mouth, which only made it more difficult to keep my comments to myself.

“What?”

“Nothing, babe.”

“Seriously, what’s with that smile?”

“Seriously, Derrika, you don’t wanna know.”

There was that brow lift again, this time in a challenge.

“If I didn’t before, now I really wanna know. And just to say, if I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t’ve asked in the first place.”

Thankfully, her phone rang, breaking the standoff.

There was only so much of her brand of cute I could take before I broke and told her exactly what I thought about taking control of her tongue, or alternately, what I’d like her to do with that tongue while she lost control.

None of that would be smart. There was no doubt Derrika Layne was my type.

There was also no doubt I wanted to take her to my bed and do a number of filthy things to her that would leave us both satisfied.

But that wasn’t going to happen. Not with her keen ability to read a situation.

She saw too much which meant I’d be too exposed.

I took great pains never to feel that. The only person who saw through my bullshit was Cash and that was already one too many.

So Derrika Layne was out of the question.

That was my life, from a young age, I’d learned nothing good came from wanting things you couldn’t have.

It was more important to protect myself than it was to wish shit was different.

Normally, I had this down to a science. I could keep my shit locked tight and not give it a second thought.

Yet for some reason, Derrika with her see-too-much eyes held me captive.

I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting what I couldn’t have.

And that made her detrimental to my well-being.

Totally off-limits.

Though in another life…if I was a different man, with a different past, Derrika Layne would be mine.