Page 52 of Jonas (Silver Team #4)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Stella Eloise

By my count, Cash Phillips fucked me no less than five times.

And he had yet to lay a hand on me.

This was a ridiculously stupid mistake. And I didn’t make mistakes, especially not ridiculously stupid ones. Missteps left you vulnerable. Slip-ups could get you killed. But mistakes like this had far greater ramifications.

Yet there I was, fully participating in the madness.

It was like a compulsion, and those were bad, too.

He was a compulsion.

An addiction.

One I both hated and couldn’t get enough of.

It wasn’t that Cash oozed sex—or at least that wasn’t the only reason.

I’d known plenty of good-looking men, all suffering from varying degrees of inflated ego.

And I’d enjoyed those men and their arrogance—that was, if their skill actually measured up to their conceit.

What I had never enjoyed or partaken in was throwing barbs and banter.

There was flirting with the intent of seduction, then there was verbal fucking.

Cash had the first down to a science, but the second he understood better than any male I’d ever met.

He was so well-versed in the art of conquest I feared if I wasn’t careful I’d do what I’d never, ever done with a man.

Submit.

By careful, I meant I needed to get the fuck away from him. And by submit, I meant fall to my knees and beg him to override my control, beg him to overwhelm, command, dominate.

Just once.

I just wanted to experience it once—what it would be like to not be in control of everything . To know what it felt like to let go and be free.

And that was dangerous.

That went beyond filthy, lewd, indecent sex. I knew those things—I’d done them—but I’d always been in control. Every interaction had been under my power. I’d never not once allowed a man to ever have authority over me in any way.

The mere fact I was thinking these thoughts was perilous—no, they threatened to crumble the fortress I’d spent my life painstakingly erecting. The walls that had kept me safe.

And now kept the most important person in my life safe, too.

So now, more than ever, no matter how sexy he was, how much he called to me on a primal level that felt like it dated back centuries, I could not give in.

Even if I knew the man who called himself King was indeed the only man I’d ever bow to, I couldn’t allow it.

Because he, too, would be the only man on the planet who could ruin me.

In another life, he would’ve been mine. If I wasn’t who I was, who I’d been made to be…a woman who would never be safe, or free, or find redemption, or know love, I would absolutely be his.

But I never would be.

No matter how desperately I wanted to, I couldn’t be his woman.

I was once nothing more than a pawn.

I fought and lied and scratched and killed to make my way across the board.

Now, I was the Queen.

And I ruled my kingdom…never to have my King.

I was doing it again .

What I swore I’d never do, yet there I was, standing toe-to-toe with Cash while his sexy fucking mouth hurled insults shrouded in innuendo.

“That’s all you got, baby girl?” Cash taunted.

Baby girl.

Ugh, but also yum.

“For the last time, asshole, stop calling me that.”

Cash flashed me one of his million-dollar smiles. I kept my gaze locked onto his lips like a junkie getting a fix. And like the addict I was, I memorized that smile like I’d done with all the others he’d given me.

Unfortunately, being hypnotized by his amazing mouth meant I missed his feet bringing him closer.

“I think you like it,” he drawled.

He was soooo right.

“I think you’ve been hit in the head one too many times,” I shared.

Cash stepped closer, bringing his scent with him, and that’s all it was his scent , no cologne or aftershave or smell of soap or detergent—just him.

All him.

Uniquely him.

“You’re not wrong,” he acquiesced. “But if you didn’t like it, you’d make me stop.”

“Make you? How do you propose I do that, Cash? Stab you in the kidney? Cut your tongue out? I know.” I snapped my fingers. “Icy Hot your dick?”

“There are a great many things I’d let you do to my dick, Stella, all you need to do is ask.”

I wanted to ask so damn bad.

Mayday. Mayday . Mayday.

“That’s never going to happen,” I asserted.

He closed the remaining distance between us, dipped his mouth to my ear, and whispered, “Bet.”

I stood frozen, not because I desperately wanted to turn my head and capture his lips. Not because he was closer than he’d ever been before and my nipples had pebbled and my pussy pulsed.

Nope.

I didn’t move a single muscle because I was afraid I would lose that wager if I so much as breathed.

In a bold move, he slid his nose over the shell of my ear. “All you have to do is ask, baby girl, and I promise I’ll have you speaking in tongues before the night’s over.”

Regrettably, I couldn’t stop my shiver. More regrettably, Cash didn’t miss it.

What the hell?

I was better than this.

“Soon, Stella,” he rasped, then moved around me and continued on his way to the front door.

Weak.

I’d done it again and let him waylay me on my way to the kitchen. I needed to move out of this house for the remainder of this assignment.

Hell, I just needed to quit and go home.

I’d done my part.

I had other responsibilities now—big ones—and life-changing decisions needed to be made.

Yet, I was still there torturing myself.

Or was I procrastinating because going home meant leaving Lore behind, maybe even Stella? I’d need to morph into someone else, someone worthy, and that scared the holy hell out of me.

For the first time in my whole adult life, I didn’t have a plan.

Take care of her.

Four words had forever altered my life.

One promise changed everything.

I needed a stiff drink and a corner to rock in.

I turned to do just that and jolted to a stop.

Penny Fucking Cox was leaning against the doorjamb.

Goddamn Cash . I hated that fucking guy.

See? My misstep allowing a sexy smile to distract me, could’ve gotten me killed.

“Is there a reason you’re creeping around spying on me?” I snapped.

“I’m not creeping, nor was I spying. I was getting a soda.” She held up a can.

“Getting a soda and listening to a private conversation,” I pointed out.

She shrugged.

This bitch .

I was done with the doe-eyed, stuttering bullshit routine she put on in front of everyone, especially Cash.

“Just so you know, Penny, I know who you are.”

I felt no remorse when her face paled.

“It’s not?—”

“I don’t give the first fuck what it is or isn’t.

But it won’t be long until all this other shit is over, and the rest of them find out the truth.

I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, but I do know the longer you sit on this the hotter that blaze is gonna burn.

Let’s just hope it’s you who burns to ash and not him. ”

“I’d never hurt him.”

Her protest was weak, both in conviction and volume.

“That’s a fucking lie, and you know it.”

Penny looked at her feet because she knew I was right.

“POTUS is going live,” Zane shouted from the basement. “Get your asses down here.”

Right, President Graham’s address-the-nation speech.

Shit was about to get real.

It was almost done.

Then I could go home to Cara.

Next up is Cash and Stella.