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Chapter 14

Ownerless

BIRDIE

“ S AW!” I jump up, panting, looking around frantically, hyperventilating, clutching my chest. I hear a blaring and continuous beep, feeling completely out of it, seeing white walls.

“SAWWWWW DAAAADDDDDY SAAAWWWWW DAAAAAADDDDYYY! I shout and someone slams into the room as I try to tear at the tube in my arm. Suddenly, a bunch of nurses dash in and hold me down.

“MA’AM CALM DOWN! PLEASE, YOU ARE SAFE. RELAX! ER, ROOM 406, WE HAVE A CODE GREY! I REPEAT ER, ROOM 406, CODE GREY! MA’AM, PLEASE CALM DOWN!” I hear, but I can’t comprehend shit! “SAW!”

The nurse tries to hold me down, but I don’t want her touching me. I just want Saw. I know he’s here because I just fucking know he didn’t go off that cliff. I know he didn’t… he isn ? —

“SAAAAAWWWWWWW!” I shout, fighting them and knocking them back. I pick up a scalpel and hold it up. “WHERE IS SAW?! W-WH-WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!” I blink back tears, and they hold up their hands as one speaks into her walkie-talkie.

“ER ROOM 406! CODE GOLD! ER ROOM 406! CODE GOLD!” she speaks with urgency, watching me as while I tremble, blinking several times, feeling like I’m high as fuck. My mind keeps going back to him pushing me out of the car and going over the cliff… that must have been a dream…

“WHERE IS SAW?! WHAT DID YOU SONS OF BITCHES DO WITH MY DADDY?!” I pant and their eyes go wide, looking at me as if I’m crazy.

“Ma’am please… put the scalpel down… you are safe now… that bad man won’t hurt y?—”

“BITCH, FUCK YOU! WHERE IS SAW?!” My outburst must have taken her by surprise because she clutches her chest, reeling back, offended as another nurse steps up.

“Ms. Grey… we are aware of the precarious situation you have been in over the past week and a half … and we want to help.” Week and a half… i… is that all I had with him? Shit, it felt like a lifetime I’d happily relive… “But in order to get you the help you need, we need for you to calm down and listen,” she states and I pant, twitching, missing Daddy.

Where is he… why isn’t he here… he said… he said if I let go, he’d give me everything and I did, so why isn’t he here?

“Wh-where’s my Daddy?”

“He’s here…” she states, and my eyes widen as I smile with relief. I knew it! I knew it! I knew he would survive!

“Wh-where is he? Bring him here! P-please!” I stammer, wanting him more than anything.

“He’s coming now,” she answers as she looks out the door, but my excitement fades and I pause when I hear light steps… steps much lighter than Saw’s. I know his steps… I listened to them every night when he would walk outside to smoke. I memorized them and the rhythm of him getting up to go to the bathroom.

Those rushed steps could never be him… Saw walks with swagger and finesse as if I’m on his time, and I am… he would never rush to me like that because he knows no matter how long he takes, I’ll wait like a good girl. That. Is. Not. Him.

My theory is proven correct, and my heart sinks when my Saw doesn’t walk into the room, but my father… my biological one, at that… the man I have not seen or spoken to in the past five years… th e last person I want to see.

“Robbie!” His eyes light up and I reel back in disgust when he tries to come near me. That nickname… I hate it…

I glare at him with pure hatred, having nothing to say to him… I pay him dust. He’s not the man I want to see… where the fuck is SAW?!

“SAW! WHERE IS HE?!” I ignore my sperm donor, and the nurses blink at me as if looking for something to say while more people run into the room, along with my other brothers, sisters, and my mother.

“Robin! What in the hell do you think you’re doing acting like this in these white people’s face?! Get your damn act together!” my mother shouts and I falter just slightly. I always listen to my mama. She’s always been there for me, but I can’t this time.

“Mama… where is Saw?! Tell them to bring me Saw!” I beg, and she frowns.

“What did that man do to you?” she questions. I cock my head to the side, confused at the sadness on her face.

“He freed me! He breathed life into me. He gave me everything!” I try to explain to wipe the look of sadness off her face, but it only turns more grief-stricken.

“Oh Lord!” She covers her mouth, falling into the arms of one of my brothers behind her, and I watch them all turn pitiable eyes on me. Judgmental eyes… eyes that Saw told me he would never give me if I let myself go. And he never did.

When I told him what I wanted, he relished it and gave it freely without judgment. He never asked me why or said I was wrong. He let me be the woman I’d always desired. But seeing them look at me with such sorrow… I hate it.

“S-SAW!” I tremble, not wanting to be here anymore, feeling like a whale confined in a pond big enough for guppies. I don’t want to be here anymore… I want to let go again… I want to feel that freedom again. I want to be consumed again and have him inside me where only he can reach… I don’t want to be here… I’ve shed this faux skin of normality and mediocrity.

“Robbie, put that knife down and come to your senses! You were not raised to be this way!” the man who was never there for me speaks.

“You didn’t raise me at all,” I sneer. Saw raised me… I miss him… I want him… I need him.

“WHERE IS SAW?!?!?!” I shout.

“Robin! CHILL THE HELL OUT!” my brother Vic yells behind my mother, who’s with the dramatics and looks to have seemingly passed out even though I know for a damn fact she’s just acting to draw the attention off me and onto herself… she always does that.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS SAW?!”

“They… uhm, I’m afraid we cannot let you see him.” Another nurse steps in and I take in his words, putting two and two together. They found him!

“I… why can’t you let me see him?” I cock my head to the side. They are trying to keep me from him!

“He’s… uhm… he’s…”

“HE’S WHAT?!” My heart pounds in my chest nervous, especially once a man who looks unfamiliar walks into the room. Our eyes lock before I see his eyes run over me with a look I’ve seen in Saw’s eyes more times than I can count. Desire…attraction.

“Who the fuck are you?” I scowl and he shifts on his feet.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry for the late introduction my name is Detective Wood and” he pauses…

“I’m sorry to say but he doesn’t want to see you,” he finishes, and I grow unsteady on my feet. No… that can’t be true…

“What? What do you mean he doesn’t want to s-see me?” My heart skips a beat and I nearly fall.

He looks away, clearing his throat, swallowing.

“Uhm… h-he’s refusing to see you. Th-that’s about the extent of what I can say, ma’am.” the male nurse stammers.

“You’re lying!” I spit with venom. “Saw doesn’t want to see me? Y-you’re telling me that you found him b-but he doesn’t want to speak with me? Do you expect me to believe that?” I curl my lip in disgust at their poor attempt at a lie.

I know Saw. He would never say something like that to me. Of course, he would want to see me!

“I’m sorry, ma’am but it’s true. He’s not only refusing to see you, but he’s refusing to cooperate with the police…” he states, probably expecting to see relief on my face, but there’s no way I’d believe something like that.

“No way… no fucking way. You sons of bitches locked him back up, huh?! Let me see him!”

“Impossible,” he shakes his head, and I narrow my eyes at him. “W-why don’t you put the scalpel down so we can talk, Mrs. Grey? You’re better than this… let’s not let your emotions run wild. Let’s talk so we can get to the bottom of this,” he states coolly and in my frantic daze, I look at him for the first time in his expensive custom three-piece suit. I take in his blond hair and green eyes.

He’s attractive in a preppy boy kind of way. His eyes are kind and his hands, one of which rests on the gun at his hip, are big… smaller than Saw’s but big. From the tense way in which his hand rests on his weapon, I can tell he’s willing to use it on me if needed.

“SH-SHUT UP!” I shout, panting. “J-just shut up and take me to Saw! Please… I just want Saw.” I just want my Daddy! I just want my Owner.

“…Ms. Grey, put it down,” he speaks calmly, and my heart breaks. “We don’t want to hurt you. You’re an intelligent woman, and I’m sure you can assess the situation. You know you are in a predicament that is not favorable. If you keep this up, something beyond my control will happen,” he voices with command, and forcing me to pause.

“Why the fuck are you here!?” I glare curiously, and he slowly pulls out his badge, forcing me to back up and hold up the scalpel higher as if it’ll protect me from the fire of bullets he’ll send my way.

“I’m the lead Detective on your case. I,” he pauses, and his face grows red as he rubs his neck. “I searched high and low for you, so please don’t make me do something I’ll regret. Put the scalpel down.”

“B… but Saw…” I chew my lips, and he glares.

“I promise… I promise that if you cooperate, I’ll let you meet him.” The words are music to my ears, and I don’t need anything else. I just want to see him. I want to talk to him… I can’t risk upsetting them, so I immediately drop my hands, and several people bum rush me, knocking the scalpel out of my hand, forcing me down, and strapping me to the bed as I kick and scream.

“SAAAAAAWWWWWW! SAAAWWWWWWWW!!!! DAAAAAADDDYYYYYY I’M HERE! I’M HERE!” My heart rate skyrockets, and my vision swims as all the noise around me amplifies. As I try to fight them off, my shirt lifts, and a loud but shushed gasp sounds throughout the room as everyone’s eyes land on my stomach.

“OH MY GOD!”

SAW’s PUSSY

It’s a mark that I’m proud of… yet at the looks of sheer disgust on all their faces, I feel an abundance of shame wash over me. It was a mark in the cabin I loved showing him. I loved when he kissed it and ran his fingers over it… I love this mark… it means I belong to Saw, my Owner, yet my heart aches.

“That mother fucker!” Detective Woods fists his hands, face red, and grits his teeth. “I’ll make him pay.” I see my mother weeping in my brother’s arms while my sisters have their phones out recording, and the cop who’d walked in frowns with sorrow in his eyes.

His eyes are full of pity… a look I hate… a look my Owner would never throw at me. That’s the last thing I see before I feel something poke my neck, and a second later, everything goes black.