Page 27 of In the Long Run

GEN

‘One last thing before we start,’ Knox says, not fazed by the drizzle falling all around us.

It’s not enough to saturate our clothes or compromise our sneakers, but I’m eager to get moving.

‘We’re getting up there in kilometres now.

And lots of us have been doing early morning runs for a long time. ’

The group nods as one. It still blows my mind that so many people have voluntarily turned up to run thirty-one kilometres in the cold and wet.

‘It’s so dark and cold,’ Anneke says.

Knox has joined me on all my runs this week and what began as small talk about why we run has led to so many different conversations.

About what we like and don’t like. What we find funny.

I’ve discovered that he’ll eat anything – literally anything – if someone else makes it for him, but he’s happy to cook as well.

He reads widely but prefers memoirs over biographies because he likes hearing people tell their own stories.

He really listens and he remembers things.

He doesn’t tease or make anyone feel bad about themselves, which is handy because I keep saying silly things around him.

But maybe that’s a good sign. An indication from the universe that I’m getting closer to being my old self.

The woman who was more open and trusting before everything that happened with Tim and then Brand.

‘I’ve been talking to Meredith and Bernie’—my head shoots up.

He has?—‘and we’re going to add extra sessions.

That way if you’re struggling for motivation or you don’t like running on your own, you have options.

And I also wanted to talk about all the stuff that’s been in the news lately about safety for runners, especially women. ’

The wind kicks up, the drizzle transforming into stabby drops of rain that prick at my skin. He’s talking about the real threats to female runners, not the people who let their imaginations run away from them.

‘If you feel unsafe running on your own, please come to the other group sessions. They’ll follow a similar out-and-back pattern, and the speed sessions will be held at the oval. Hills will be at the Thousand Steps. Does anyone have any questions before we start?’

Violet raises her hand, and I notice her shoulder is strapped now too. ‘Has anyone thought about doing other events in the lead-up? Like a trial run to get your confidence up?’ she asks.

Yeti claps his hands, his loud voice booming out across the group. ‘Yes. This is a great idea.’

Knox scratches the back of his neck. ‘We’ve only got a few long runs left before we start tapering, so they’d have to be soon. What was that run you were talking about at dinner the other night?’ he asks Yeti.

‘The Rail Trail Fun Run in Bright,’ I answer, because I was at that dinner too. I’ve been to several of their Wednesday dinners since the first, and Knox has made sure I know it’s a standing invitation. ‘There are different distances, but the longest is thirty-five kilometres.’

‘You know the best thing about rail trails?’ Yeti’s made his way to the front of the group now and his headtorch bobs as his enthusiasm grows. When no one answers, he throws his arms up towards the sky. ‘They’re flat! I say we go for it!’

‘Is it too late to enter?’ Violet asks.

‘They’re still selling entries.’ Anneke holds up her phone.

Yeti slings his arms around our shoulders. ‘Could be fun to get away …’

Knox and I exchange a look. ‘What about Eugene?’ he asks.

‘Celeste can stay with him. C’mon, Forty. Live a little.’

‘If you go, we’ll go,’ Anneke says, pointing to herself and Violet, who nods.

‘Same,’ calls one of the Army guys. ‘We can go for the weekend. Camp or get cabins. It’ll be fun.’

Yeti slaps his hands together. ‘Yes! Now, where were we?’

‘About to set off on a thirty-one-kilometre run,’ Knox says.

That doesn’t dim Yeti’s enthusiasm. Probably nothing ever gets him down. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without a smile on his face. The best bit is seeing his smile mirrored on everyone else’s faces.

‘Have you heard anything from Violet?’ Knox asks me two weeks later as we pack up the cones being used to measure sprint distances.

The new, extra sessions of Croissants and Kilometres have been well supported, but Violet hasn’t been to any of them or our normal Sunday runs, despite saying she would.

I’ve sent her a few messages but she hasn’t responded.

‘No. It’s not like her to miss so many sessions.’

He stacks the rest of the cones together and frowns down at them like they know something we don’t. ‘Celeste hasn’t seen her at Alizée’s either,’ he muses. His steps slow as we approach Eugene’s car.

‘Let’s call her,’ I suggest.

We wait until we’re back in the Getz, the heater doing its best to blast away the frigid air that followed me around the oval. The windscreen fogs as I pull up Violet’s number and put the call on speaker. Knox taps on the steering wheel as it rings. Once, twice, three times.

‘I hope everything’s okay,’ I say, assuming she’s either busy or doesn’t want to talk to us.

Just as I’m expecting her voicemail message to kick in, a man answers. ‘Violet’s phone, Steven speaking.’ Her husband. We met him at Get Fit, Get Strom that time.

‘Hi, it’s Gen and Knox from Croissants and Kilometres Run Club. Can we speak to Violet, please?’

Steven’s sigh is loud and heavy. ‘You can try. Not sure how much luck you’ll have. Give me a second.’

Knox and I exchange a worried look as muffled noises come down the line. Doors open and close and there’s the sound of a television playing one of those kid’s songs that’s just the same words over and over.

‘Vi, honey, it’s people from your Run Club. The nice ones who are dating. You want to talk to them?’

My stomach falls to the floor when a loud sniff followed by a sob comes through the line clearly.

Knox leans forward, crowding closer to the phone, which also puts him closer to me. Heat rolls off his body. ‘Violet? Are you there?’

She sniffs again. ‘I’m here.’

She sounds terrible. Nothing like her usual self. The Violet we’ve gotten to know is totally different from the woman who came to our first session. Watching her timidness melt away with each passing week has been a pure joy. But there’s no trace of her cheerful disposition now.

‘It’s Knox and Gen,’ he continues.

‘Hi, Violet,’ I chime in.

‘We’ve missed you these last few weeks. We wanted to check in, make sure everything’s okay?’

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispers and her voice wobbles.

‘What for?’ Knox looks at me and I shake my head, totally clueless.

‘I’ve been wasting everyone’s time,’ she whispers.

We’ve only known each other for a few months, but Violet’s good people.

Determined and diligent. Always kind and encouraging.

A real runner’s runner, who never hesitates to cheer everyone else on.

It’s why it’s so concerning that we haven’t seen her at any of our recent sessions.

And then I remember – she’d mentioned a knee niggle after the last long run she came on.

Injuries are every runner’s worst nightmare, because you can do everything right and still end up with them.

‘Is it your knee?’ I ask.

She sniffs again. ‘No.’

‘Did something happen?’ Knox asks and he’s being so gentle with her. So kind. Not that I would expect anything else from him. After all, he’s never been any other way with me.

‘It’s not important.’ She blows her nose.

Knox’s mouth forms a grim line. ‘Respectfully, I disagree. Anything that’s upset you this much is obviously important.’

‘It’s the stupid TikToks,’ Steven calls out in the background, ignoring Violet when she tries to shush him.

‘The TikToks? What about them?’ Knox asks.

‘There was a clip of Vi running. Looking like a boss, thank you very much, but some f-u-c-k-e-r-s—’

‘Steven!’

‘What? Daisy can’t spell, Vi. I’m not putting a dollar in the swear jar! Anyway, some bad people said—’

‘That I shouldn’t be running. That I was an embarrassment. I don’t know what I was thinking. I look terrible in the video. Someone said I looked like one of those big draught horses that they used to get to pull wagons. They’re right, of course.’

‘The fuck they are,’ Knox spits out, but I can tell his frustration isn’t directed at her.

Based on Violet’s soft sigh, she knows too.

‘And I will put a dollar in your swear jar for that, Violet. You can get it from me at the Rail Trail Run. In fact, I’ll give you five.

Let’s go ahead and put my swearing account in credit, because what those people said is bullshit. ’

‘I’m going to withdraw. I’m too old. Too fat.’

‘No, she isn’t!’ Steven crows.

‘Violet, you’re one of the strongest people at Croissants and Kilometres! So many people look up to you,’ I say.

‘More like they look back at me because I’m always last. Besides, all I can think about now is what everyone else is thinking when I run. “Oh, look at that fat lump.”’

‘I guarantee no one worth any of your time or attention is thinking that, Violet.’ Knox is getting proper fired up now. His jaw could cut marble.

‘People liked the comment. They laughed at me.’

Knox rubs his hands down his face and leans back into his car seat. ‘So?’

‘So?!’ she splutters.

‘Anyone who says shit about someone else online or elsewhere is a total waste of space.’

‘That’s easy to say when you’re you!’ Ah, there’s a bit of Violet’s fire returning.

Knox crosses his arms. ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Everything is so easy for you. I’m tired, guys. Tired of being the slowest. Tired of being sore. Tired of trying so hard and getting nowhere.’

‘I’d hardly call being able to run thirty kilometres getting nowhere, Violet,’ I say.

‘What if I can’t do it, though? I’m not a real runner. Not like everyone else.’