Page 16 of In the Long Run

GEN

Thirty feels pretty good to me. So far, my birthday has included a breezy sunrise run, a nice lunch out with my family and now, a quiet night on the couch, because armchair baking is my favourite kind.

I nod along as Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith explain the right consistency for a soufflé on the screen.

Behind them, a group of befuddled celebrities watch on, clearly regretting their decision to enter The Great British Bake Off ’s big white tent.

Stretching forward, I scoop up my bowl of pistachio ice cream that’s melted to the perfect consistency and savour the first spoonful. A lady who used to be in a girl band drops her showstopper on the walk up to the judges’ table and I grimace, spoon still in my mouth.

I’m fast-forwarding through her teary confessional when there’s a loud knock on the front door. It’s after seven and I’m not expecting anyone. I check my phone, frowning at the screen full of notifications.

Meredith: Have you been on TikTok today?

Oh, are there new videos of baby goats doing yoga? Because that would pair perfectly with tonight’s viewing schedule. I’ll check it out as soon as I see who’s at the door. I’m halfway down the hall when I pause and check my phone screen again. There are three missed calls from Brand.

‘Gen?’ Knox calls. ‘Are you home? I need to talk to you.’

What is going on?

I pull the door open.

‘Hey.’ Knox leans against the doorframe and folds his arms across his chest. File that under another look that works for him. Is it rude to not say hello to his biceps when they’re popping so deliciously?

‘Hi?’ I say it like a question, knocked off-kilter by all these sudden interruptions to my quiet night. ‘Is something wrong?’

He scratches at the stubble that lines his jaw. ‘Can I come in?’

‘Sure.’ I gesture for him to enter.

He strides past me, past the doorways to my room and then Caleb’s.

I follow him, pulling my door closed as I pass it.

Knox didn’t look, but just in case he does on the way out, he doesn’t need to see the clear evidence that Cyclone Genevieve made landfall yesterday.

You’d think that someone who worked from home would have plenty of time to tidy up after themselves, but you’d be wrong.

‘Did you want to sit or …’ continue to stand awkwardly next to the big bunch of hydrangeas that Mum gave me at lunch?

‘Are you on TikTok?’ he asks, colour starting on his cheeks and spreading down his neck.

Whatever’s trending must be pretty huge if even Knox has heard of it. No offence to him, but he doesn’t seem like a social media guy. There’s no way he’s snapping pictures of his breakfast or hashtagging his way through the day.

‘Mere sent me a message asking the same thing!’

Knox pulls a phone out of his pocket. The case is covered in different French delicacies. ‘This is Celeste’s,’ he says, catching what must be my confused expression.

‘And you have her phone because …’

‘She made a video’—he closes his eyes and rubs his forehead—‘of us.’

For a split second I think it’s a sex tape. Which is ridiculous because we don’t have a sex tape. We haven’t had sex. But my imagination ignores that minor detail and images of our bodies twisted together and Knox taking everything I’d give him flash across my mind.

‘Gen?’

‘What do you mean?’ I’m all breathy. There’s something wrong with me.

He frowns. ‘She filmed us when we were at run club the other day. And we, ah, hugged. At the end.’ It’s cute he thinks I could’ve forgotten that happened. No one could get up close and personal with his chest and forget it.

‘Okay?’ I stretch the word into several syllables and sit back down, burying my hands under my thighs because I don’t know what else to do with them.

‘And, um, you see, Celeste has all these followers on TikTok’— he clears his throat—‘so there were some comments.’

‘About us?’

His jaw clenches and he nods.

‘Are they mean?’ Social media brings out the worst in some people, but I refuse to spiral. I broke up with doomscrolling after everything went to hell with Tim and I refuse to go back.

He blanches, all the colour draining from his face, and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

‘It’s okay,’ I say. ‘I’m a big girl. Plenty of people have said cruel things about me before.’ It’s why I started my own business and all my co-workers are plants. People can’t tear you down if you let them forget you exist.

‘What?’ He prises himself off the wall and comes to sit down next to me. ‘No, nothing like that. Actually, everyone was very complimentary.’

Then why the long face?

‘I’m not doing a very good job of explaining this.’ He sighs heavily and passes me the phone. The pinned video is a flour-covered Celeste holding up a strawberry gateaux.

‘Celeste got excited when I told her about Croissants and Kilometres and she made this.’ He hits play.

I’ll have what they’re having splashes across the screen as an upbeat song pours out of the speakers and then Knox and I appear.

My frame is totally encased in his bigger one.

I’m grinning at him like a fool, while a tiny smile curves bemusedly onto his lips. We look like we have a secret.

And like we have great sex.

Ahem. I clear my throat. ‘Oh.’

There’s a familiarity and level of comfort and trust implied in our pose. Our expressions. Can you ‘ship’ something that you know isn’t real because you’re one of the people involved in it? I’m asking for a friend.

‘Wait. What did that say?’ I tap on the screen, pausing the video.

Join our run club and score your own stern croissant daddy!

‘Oh my God.’

‘Apparently “daddy” is slang for a hot guy.’ Giant splotches of red have broken out across Knox’s neck.

‘Now I really want to read the comments.’

Knox groans and sags against the couch, his head tipping back until he’s looking at the ceiling.

‘Oh my God, the Annas commented!’

‘Is that slang too? Wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.’

‘No, no, they’re famous. Ah! They’re going to come along this weekend! Holy crap. This could be huge.’

‘Three million people have seen it. It is huge, Gen.’

‘That’s what she said,’ slips out before I can stop it.

Knox snorts and it doesn’t detract from his hotness at all. The man should be studied for science.

‘I’m sorry! I haven’t had dinner yet. I’m clearly experiencing a blood sugar issue, because I would never normally say anything like that.’ Prue and Paul frown at me from the television. They know I’m lying.

Knox’s expression changes instantly, a stern inflection slipping into his voice. ‘You haven’t had dinner yet?’

‘No. I’m going to in a bit.’

‘We’re having a roast tonight. There’s plenty.’

I shake my head. ‘You don’t have to do that. Caleb made my favourite stir-fry. It’s in the fridge. I just felt like dessert first.’

I don’t mention that it’s my birthday. I don’t want to make this awkward … or at least no more awkward than it already is.

‘It’s why I’m here. Firstly, to apologise about the TikTok. Be sure to give Celeste hell about it when you see her. But also because she’s come up with a plan.’

The way he says ‘plan’ makes me wary. ‘A plan for what?’

Knox slips his palms into the pockets of his tracksuit pants. ‘For us.’

‘“Us” as in …’ I use finger quotes as an emotional crutch because my mind is ready and able to jump to conclusions. Ridiculous conclusions that I’ve spent a lot of time convincing myself I’m not interested in.

‘You and me,’ Knox confirms before clearing his throat. ‘You know, to play into the hype.’

My stomach flutters. ‘Like we pretend we’re together? Why?’

Knox opens and closes his mouth a few times before frowning and directing his next words to the carpet.

‘More like we don’t correct people’s assumptions.

Celeste reckons this could be a gamechanger, but we don’t have to do it, not if you don’t want to.

It’s up to you. I’m not a fan of social media, but if it helps Alizée’s …

I’ll do anything. It might also help with Brand and it could be extra promo for the gym? ’

He’s got a point. Except for the fact that we’d be all over social media, which is scary.

But as long as I keep my eyes on the line between fantasy and reality, everything will be fine. Right?