Page 15 of Icy Heart, Empty Chest

U nsent email from Damien’s phone, junior year:

I’m not really sure why you’ve been distant the last few weeks but I really need to talk to you.

At dinner when we were talking about colleges, my dad basically laid down my entire life to come.

I was thinking maybe something like athletic training but he told me if I didn’t go into criminal justice, I’d get no funding from the family.

Go get a degree, join the MF academy, make it through.

I looked over at Mom blankly. She just avoided my eyes.

I asked him what if I wanted to do something different and he reiterated that it was an unwise choice and I’d be out on my own with no resources.

I point-blank asked him what would happen if I didn’t join the MF.

He inferred heavily that he would cut me off from anyone else who supported my “radical” plan, especially you.

Phone confiscation, post-sports lockdown at home to do homework.

Internet to be used for homework and sports purposes only.

My browser history would be checked regularly as would my email.

Any passwords I had to them would have to be changed.

Cor, I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want me to talk to you at all.

I told him I would do anything he asked, just not to separate me from my best friend.

He hasn’t budged; keeps calling you horrible things.

I can’t say a word against it or he gets angrier, saying he’d throw me out.

Mom isn’t helpful, she just frets and tells me not to get him riled up again.

I miss you. I can’t stand not talking to you.

I want to stand up to him, fight back, but I’m scared. I wish I could talk to you.