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CHAPTER FOUR

ELLIE

How I ended up in this apartment was still a bit of a mystery.

What started as a disagreement with my roommate ended with me in a private bedroom in an off-campus apartment.

And because I now lived in an upside-down world, that apartment was occupied by Brennen Tate, goalie for the Rainier Lumberjacks.

The “Tater” himself. Putting aside the truly horrible nickname, it was… baffling.

Unfortunately, now I had to figure out what to do with the mess I’d created. At the dorm, Landon had contributed, but this was all me. The piles of clothes, the hangers, the random books, and the stuffies. My poor, sweet, baby stuffed animals were crammed haphazardly in a box.

The entire room overwhelmed me, so rather than make any progress, I sat on the floor and wrote in my journal.

Every attempt I made to fix it worsened the situation, and I knew if I didn’t get it together soon, I would be in the same spot tomorrow with more mess.

My single unpacked stuffie was in my lap, and we contemplated the best place to begin.

“Knock, knock?” Brennen peeked his head around the door. “You okay?”

“I think so. Why?”

“Because I knocked and called your name and you didn’t answer.” He looked around the room and then back at me. “Wow.”

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I was putting my stuff away and got a little distracted.”

Brennen raised his eyebrows and looked around at the mess I’d made. “Have you actually gotten anything in the drawers yet?” he asked with shocked eyes. My lack of organization in personal spaces was the bane of my existence.

“No, not yet. I was trying to decide how to organize everything, but then I got distracted, and this is what I ended up with. I don’t even know where my stuff is for school tomorrow…

my textbook and notebook are in here somewhere.

I worked ahead on the reading, but it won’t matter if I can’t find them.

At this rate, I’m probably going to fail the class. ”

“Whoa, slow down. There are plenty of steps between can’t find your notebook in the middle of a move and failing.”

Having Brennen Tate looming over me brought out all sorts of thoughts about littles and Daddies. For reasons I hadn’t figured out yet, he’d adopted me into his life, and it felt rude to notice how hot he was.

“I’m not doing anything right now if you want some help.” I shrugged. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” Brennen pushed the door open and sat on the floor beside me after he cleared a space. “I don’t understand though…”

“What is there to understand?”

“You’re so organized with our equipment. It is always lined up perfectly. The pucks and sticks look like soldiers. The tape is color-coordinated. How do you keep that so organized and this not?”

“Because that’s my job. If I don’t keep it organized, I’ll get fired.

No job means no scholarship, and then I’m out of school.

It makes sense when I’m there, but not anywhere else.

” I stopped to take a breath and then added, “I wish I knew the secret trick my brain used to keep me on track at work and school because I’d use it everywhere.

” Despite the good night’s sleep, I was still tired, which made me blow everything out of proportion.

“But at least you have your bear, right?” Brennen reached out and traced a finger over my stuffie’s paw. “What’s their name?”

“Peaseblossom.”

“From Midsummer Night’s Dream ?”

“How did you know that?”

“My mom was a high school English teacher before she got married, had me, and stayed home. When I started school, she went back to teaching English lit part-time at the community college. She’s a big Shakespeare fan.”

“Do you like Shakespeare, or were you forced to read it?”

Brennen flashed a grin that reached his eyes before he answered, “Forced to read it is probably closest, but I only pretended to mind when she dragged me and my dad to go see plays.”

“Like Shakespeare in the park?”

“Yeah, one summer we went to New York City on vacation and Midsummer Night’s Dream was being performed in Central Park. It was cool.” Brennen reached out and traced PB’s paw again. “How did you pick that name for him?”

“He’s my favorite character from the play, and I got PB right after I saw it for the first time,” I answered.

“Are you an English major?”

“Nope, information science with a concentration on library services because I get to be surrounded by all kinds of books and knowledge and help people find things. A library’s like a treasure hunt every time you go.”

“And you ended up doing your work-study with us? That’s a tough break, man.”

“It was pretty bad in the beginning, but I like it now.”

“Yeah, why is that?”

“Which one?”

“Either or both.” While we spoke, Brennen had settled on the floor next to me and was casually folding the clothes within his reach. He’d deposited a pile in front of me too. It seemed natural to fold and talk.

“I thought you guys would be jerks to me because I’m not into sports.

And, you know, the gay part.” I paused to hand him my completed items so he could stack them before continuing, “But I was ignored, which is totally fine with me, and sports knowledge isn’t part of the job.

If I keep Mr. Haddad happy, then I’m golden.

” Brennen had moved the books closer to the bookcases while I talked.

I scooted over and started shelving them.

“Ha! He’s strict, so please share the secret to keeping him happy. I piss him off regularly.”

“It’s pretty easy. He tells me what to do, and then I do it. Easy-peasy.”

“Well, shit, I know where I’m screwing up.” He chuckled.

Brennen’s laugh came from his belly and always showed up in his eyes. They had flecks of gold in them and crinkled at the corners. Sometimes, when Brennen looked at me, I forgot my name.

Exactly what should happen when your Daddy—my fantasy, my call—looked incredible as he laughed.

“You ready for some dinner?” Brennen announced with a soft knock on my door. The latch wasn’t working right because that slight pressure pushed it open. “Oh shit. What’s going on with this?” Brennen immediately knelt to jiggle it. “Yeah, the whole thing is gonna have to be replaced.”

“Are you the landlord?”

“No, but I’ll ask about it.”

“Oh.” The moment felt like I should have more to say, but I was at a loss for what.

Unfortunately, that meant I had time to think about how the room hadn’t changed much from when he’d left it earlier.

After Brennen helped me sort and stack, he went to finish his homework and left me to my own devices.

Unfortunately, I got distracted by reading storybooks to my stuffies.

They’d been cooped up in boxes for two days, and it only seemed fair.

But I hated how scattered I felt all the time.

It was like all the pieces of me were blown in different directions, and my time was spent gathering them, only for them to spin out again.

“Oh, you fixed dinner for us?”

“I’m about to start cooking. By the way, thank you for helping me eat the leftovers yesterday.” His words made me feel squishy. I liked being helpful. “I hope you’re all right with chicken Caesar salad because that’s what we’re having.”

“With croutons?” I asked hopefully. They were my favorite part.

“Yes, but it’s not ready yet. I wanted to see if you’d keep me company while I fixed dinner.” Brennen glanced around my bedroom, and I couldn’t help but think he might be annoyed I hadn’t finished what he’d helped me with.

When his eyes landed on my stuffies, I knew he wasn’t looking at my room at all.

It was one thing to have a stuffed animal on your bed.

A lot of college students had one, maybe two.

Mine was a collection, and that wasn’t standard at all.

He’d met Peaseblossom earlier, but now he could also see my mouse Pip, my gorilla Dian, my bunny Fiver, my black cat Poe, and my owl Curie.

If I’d thought he was going to come in here, I would’ve hidden them.

In the last three years, I’d managed to keep them well hidden because I didn’t want my roommates to find them, but now, I’d been busted.

I needed to figure out a way to keep the door closed.

Brennen said he’d fix it, but who knew how long that would take?

“Wow, that’s an impressive collection.” I waited for Brennen to make fun of me, but he stayed by the door, glancing between me and the stuffies.

Oh lordy . The storybook I was reading to them was still in my hand.

It struck me how ridiculous I must’ve looked to him with my stuffies lined up around me in a semicircle and a stack of children’s books next to me.

Think. Think. Think.

“I hope my practicing didn’t bother you.” It was a stretch, but I was going to bluff my way out of this.

“Practicing?”

“If I work in a library, there’s a pretty decent chance I’ll be doing story time with kids because almost every library has one. So I’ve been practicing to make sure I do a good job. The voices aren’t easy.”

“That’s pretty cool. If you ever want a live audience, I’m available.” Brennen’s lips were turned up in a gentle smile. The way he said it made me think it was a legitimate offer, but the odds were low that I’d take him up on it.

“I’ll let you know.” My statement wasn’t true at all, and I didn’t like the way the lie felt in my mouth.

Later tonight, I’d remind the stuffies to do what I said, not what I did.

I should set a good example for them. Brennen is the one who deserved my apology the most, but there was no way I’d tell him the truth.

There wasn’t any scenario where I could explain that I was a little.

My sweet stuffies and I would be back in the dorm by morning.

“For someone who says they don’t know how to cook, you’re doing a fantastic job.

” Once again, my insides melted at Brennen’s praise.

It probably wasn’t deserved since all I’d done was chop bread into little pieces and then put some melted butter on top to stick in the oven for the croutons, but I appreciated it anyway.

“I think the chicken was the hard part,” I said in praise of the chicken he’d grilled on the little balcony off the kitchen.

“It’s all in the wrist,” Brennen answered with a laugh.

I wondered if the rest of the world knew how affable Brennen Tate truly was.

At practice, he was always happy to talk to the student reporters and the little kids who watched, waiting for their chance to join them on the ice.

He was unfailingly friendly to everyone, no matter their position on the team or at the rink.

But on the ice, he didn’t mind knocking anyone out who came close to his net.

“After dinner, are you going to disappear back into your room?”

I froze at the question because I wasn’t sure what he meant. Did that mean he wanted me to go back into my room? Or did he want me to stay out here? Or, was he just making conversation and it didn’t matter to him either way?

“If you don’t have any studying to do, I thought maybe we could watch a movie or TV or something.” Brennen looked at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. When I didn’t give him one right away, he turned and started cleaning up the kitchen. “I can sweeten the offer and let you pick the movie?”

“I doubt we watch the same movies.” We both liked The Princess Bride , but that was while we were trapped on a bus with very few options.

“Oh yeah? What do you like?”

“Cartoon ones,” I answered defensively.

“You mean like South Park ?”

“No, more like Disney.”

“Well, why didn’t you say that?

“Don’t you think it’s kind of childish?”

“Meh, I’m not sure that matters much. If you like something, you like it, and there’s no age limit on a good movie. What’s your current favorite?”

“How did you know my favorite changes?” I asked him suspiciously. Brennen Tate understood way too much about me. I didn’t understand how. On paper, it made absolutely no sense, yet every time I turned around, he was saying or doing the exact right thing.

“It was just a hunch, but now I know for sure.”

Once Brennen finished wiping off the counters, he plopped back into the chair next to me and waited for my answer.

It took a minute for my brain to remember how to make words come out of my mouth because he didn’t just sit there.

He reclined in his chair. His broad shoulders were wider than the back of the chair.

After years and years of working out, his forearms were snaked with prominent veins.

“Right now…um… Ratatouille .”

“That’s the rat chef, right?”

“Yes, that’s the one. But we can watch whatever you want.”

“Nope, that’s fine. I don’t mind watching it at all. It’s been a long time, so you might have to help me remember parts.”

“Or you could just, you know, watch it.”

“Oh my goodness, is Ellie Cooper a smart ass? I did not see this coming.” The blush that I knew turned my skin beet red crept up my neck, but I didn’t know what to say.

Was he joking or not? It was hard to tell because he looked so serious when he said it.

“I’m not sure the other guys would believe me if I told them. ”

“You don’t think so?”

“Nope, I think they’d call me a liar, but you wouldn’t be able to defend me without admitting the truth.”

“I wouldn’t let someone think you were a liar.” I didn’t mean for it to come out as fierce as it did. Even though I lied this afternoon about my storybooks, I didn’t like it when people didn’t tell the truth. I’d rather hear bad news than go on thinking everything was fine when it wasn’t.

“It’s not a risk I’m willing to take,” Brennen said with seriousness. “So I guess we’re gonna need to watch the movie and keep it to ourselves. Your secret’s safe with me.”