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CHAPTER EIGHT

brENNEN

“Good morning. You sleep okay?”

The first thing I did when I got up this morning was go searching for Ellie.

I found him in the kitchen, staring out the French doors.

He must’ve been lost in thought because he didn’t move a muscle until I crossed the floor and laid my hands on his shoulders.

I knew things were okay when he swayed back slightly and rested his body against mine.

I tightened my hands on his shoulders in response.

After last night’s revelations, it had felt too heavy to have such an important conversation when we were both reeling, even if we were both interested in moving forward with each other. Conversations like that needed to be had when both parties were clear-headed.

What I’d wanted to do was take Ellie into my bed and show him I could be the kind of Daddy he needed in and out of the bedroom. That practically innocent kiss at the ice rink yesterday afternoon had done nothing but whet my appetite to explore every inch of Ellie’s body.

“Yes, thank you,” Ellie answered. He reached up and covered my hand with his own before squeezing my fingers. “I’m a little nervous this morning.”

“I know why I’m nervous. Why are you?” I tried hard to keep my voice light and avoid any hint of worry. Given his response to me this morning, I didn’t think he was about to say that he’d changed his mind, but it was always a possibility.

“You’ve never been a Daddy, and I’ve never been a little.”

“But you are a little. It’s part of who you are.”

“Oh, that part I know. I guess what I meant to say is I’ve never been a little with a Daddy.”

His nervousness was evident in his voice, and I hated it. I maneuvered Ellie around so I could hug him chest to chest. He slipped his arms around my waist and hugged me back. Having him tucked so close to my heart settled me like nothing had ever done before. Everything was going to be all right.

“Then we’ll have to learn together. That means lots of talking and lots of giving the benefit of the doubt when we screw it up.”

“You think we’re gonna screw up?”

“You probably won’t, but there is a decent chance I will.”

Ellie snorted a laugh when I said it and tightened his arms around me. “There’s a pretty good chance I will too.”

“Does this mean I get to text you whenever I want?” Ellie’s shyness was obvious, but I appreciated the way he said whatever came to his mind.

His innocent question stirred my cock, and I felt myself chubbing against him. When I heard his giggle, I realized it hadn’t been an innocent question at all. I dropped my hands to his butt, grabbed him, and ground my hips against him lightly.

“If I knew you wanted to, I would’ve invited you to do that from the beginning.”

“If I knew you wanted me to, I would’ve asked from the beginning.”

“Would you really have?” I drew back from Ellie so I could see Ellie’s expression directly.

“Yeah, probably not.” Ellie giggled.

“Plans for today?”

“I can always study, but not really, why?”

“Because we don’t have a game or practice today, and I was thinking that maybe if you had time, we could take a drive into the mountains and go for a hike. I know we need to talk, but it might be easier to talk while we’re actually doing something else.”

“Okay… Oh my goodness, I don’t even know what to call you. Calling you Brennen now doesn’t feel right.”

“In your journal, you called me Daddy B. I liked that a lot.”

“Do you think I could bring Peasebottom, or is that too much?”

“Too much for what?”

“I know you said you want to learn to be a Daddy because you are one, but you’ve never really been around me when I’m little, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I might not have been a Daddy before, but I want to be your Daddy. And you’re a little, which means that you do little things, and I can’t fucking wait for it.

If you want to bring Peasebottom with you so he can enjoy the hike, then bring him.

You just gotta be careful because bears like the woods and he might wander off. ”

“I’m gonna keep a real good eye on him, but he’s a good bear and always follows directions. If I ask him to stay in my backpack, he will.”

“Now that we’ve got that settled. Why don’t we get some breakfast, pack a lunch, and then get on the road?”

“It’s a plan.”

We headed up to the mountains for one of my favorite hikes. It was on the backside of my family’s cabin near Tannenberg. My family had spent every summer up here and most of our Christmases. It had been in my dad’s family for years, and I couldn’t imagine ending up anywhere else.

My parents weren’t thrilled about my decision to become a police officer, but they understood my draw to the area.

If I got accepted into the sheriff’s office, I’d be moving into the cabin this summer.

My acceptance into the program felt like a long shot, given my age, but I was hopeful that my knowledge and love of the area would make up for it. I hadn’t considered a second option.

My daydreaming about what life would look like in the future was interrupted by Ellie’s excited discoveries along the trail.

“Daddy B, did you see this one?” Ellie held up an oak leaf that had fallen. It looked chewed on. “Do you think a caterpillar got this one?”

“I think something got that one, but I don’t really know what caterpillar bite marks look like.”

“He wouldn’t bited it. He’d nibble on it.”

“Thank you for correcting me, but I don’t know what caterpillar’s nibbles look like either.”

From the moment we exited the car, Ellie had allowed himself to fall into the little space I’d suspected was in him but had never gotten to see.

He sparkled with animated chatter and seemed lighter.

Ellie was always sweet and kind, but he practically floated during our hike, and it was gratifying to see.

Usually, he was so serious that it was difficult to find any mischievousness in him, but today, all of that poured out of him.

After about thirty minutes of walking on a steady incline, all of Ellie’s extra energy had finally been expended, and he settled into a pace next to me instead of bouncing from one side of the trail to the other.

It had been a while since we’d seen any other hikers, and there wasn’t any noise except for us, so I figured it would be a safe time to discuss what each of us wanted in this relationship.

I captured his hand and asked, “What do you need in a Daddy?”

“Before I answer that, can you tell me how you see yourself as a Daddy?”

“I’ve always imagined it would be my job to make my little’s life easier, better, and happier. I’m a fixer.”

“Sometimes a fixer goes too far.”

“I think sometimes people mistake fixing for controlling, and I don’t want to control anyone.

When I’ve imagined having a boy, a little, it was so they could be everything they wanted because I was handling the pesky details.

They can focus on things that are more important to them, and I get to fix things. It’s a match made in heaven.”

“What do you like about littles?”

“I like how free they are. They enjoy the moment and the space they’re in. I don’t have the ability to turn my mind off like that, but I enjoy experiencing it through them.”

“I know you said you’ve never been a Daddy, but you’ve taken care of littles before?”

“Only a couple of times. There’s a place downtown that sometimes has open membership nights where people can go and experience it and see what it’s like…”

“Oh, do you mean Wilde Dandies?”

“Have you been there?”

“Nope, but I’ve read about it on some online forums. There’s no way I could afford their membership fee.”

“Yeah, it’s not easy to swing when you’re in college.”

“But you didn’t find anyone there that you were interested in?”

“I had a nice time, but didn’t find anyone I wanted to experiment with outside the club.”

We walked a little farther down the trail. We were both quiet as we contemplated how to move forward, and Ellie collected rocks along the way.

“What kind of Daddy are you looking for?” I repeated.

“Someone who will help me organize my life.”

“How do you stay organized at work?”

“Mr. Haddad gives me a list and I check it off. I know what to do and the exact order to do it in.”

“Why not just give yourself your own to-do list?”

“Because I know it’s not real since I’m the one who made it. When he gives it to me, I have expectations, and that’s what motivates me to do it. If it’s just me, it doesn’t matter because nothing will happen either way. If I want a treat, I can get a treat.”

“How would you feel about a chore chart? If you get all your chores done, then you get a treat?”

“Can we put stickers on it?”

“Is it even a chore chart without them? We can go to the store together so you can pick out the ones you like best.”

Ellie smiled happily and did a quick spin to celebrate.

“I have a confession to make, and it may make you change your mind. I really, really, really don’t like the idea of physical punishment.” The change in Ellie’s demeanor was swift.

“Is there a reason behind that or just preference?”

“Mostly a preference. Is that a dealbreaker for you?”

I pulled Ellie toward me so I could give him a quick hug. “It’s absolutely not a dealbreaker for me.”

“Cool.”

“You got a little something on your face.”

Ellie turned to me with an expectant grin, and I happily complied with the unspoken invitation he’d offered. I picked up the napkin, wiped the side of his mouth, and then did the same with his hands. “There you go, kiddo.”

Ellie gave me a quick grin and then jumped off the blanket spread underneath the tree.

The first half of our hike took about forty-five minutes and led us deep into the forest. The trail dead-ended at a pond with a small waterfall. It wasn’t deep enough to go swimming, but wading was possible.

“Do you think I can get in the water, Daddy B?” Ellie looked longingly at the water.