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“Yeah, I’m graduating, but people still date.” Ellie let out a sigh and waved his hands a bit. “Why would I end things with someone I love?”

“You never said!” Ellie’s ferocious shout set me back on my heels.

“Well, I was going to!”

“When?”

“Soon,” I ground out.

“How am I supposed to know that?”

“You never said either!”

“Why would I?”

“Then why would I?”

“Because you’re the Daddy!” Well shit . He had me there.

I broke eye contact with him and plopped down on the steps, and after a beat, Ellie joined me. His hand was only inches away from me, and it was a beacon. Fuck it, I didn’t care if he was mad or annoyed or whatever with me. We weren’t breaking up, and I wanted to hold my boyfriend’s hand. So I did.

“Hey, Ellie, I gotta tell you something. It’s really important.

” He glanced at our joined hands and then back at me.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while, and I…

Shit, I don’t know… I didn’t, and now it just sounds weird, but I’ve been thinking it for a while.

” I sat back and let him digest my words for a little bit.

I wasn’t expecting an undying declaration, but some kind of response would’ve been good—less nerve-racking.

“Hey, Daddy B, you haven’t told me anything.”

“What?”

“You just said you needed to tell me something that you’ve been thinking about for a while, but you didn’t tell me the thing that you thought. “

“Fucking hell, I’m so shit at this. Do you know people think I’m cool? That ain’t shit now.”

“Still waiting.”

“Fuck me. I love you, Ellie.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I fucking do.”

“And it’s not just some weird obligation because I forced my way into your apartment?”

“Baby boy, you were invited into my apartment. If I didn’t want you there, I could’ve gotten rid of you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have been your Daddy.”

Setting here with Ellie holding my hand at the cabin was the fantasy I had for my life, but that didn’t mean it was Ellie’s, and I’d been a selfish asshole. I’d just decided I wanted my life and Ellie in it and hadn’t even bothered to ask what the hell he wanted.

“I owe you an apology, baby boy.”

“What? Why?”

“For being selfish. You’ve got a year left to finish your degree, and I know, of course, that you wanna be in a library.

But here I am, thinking that I want this life and I want you, and I didn’t even fucking ask what you wanted.

Maybe you dream about shit I don’t know, like moving to New York and working at the library. What the hell is the name of it…?”

“The New York City library?”

“I mean, I didn’t even ask about it.”

“Good news, Daddy B. None of my dreams involve moving to New York.”

“Good to know now, but I should’ve already.”

“Being up here is your dream. You said you’ve wanted this since you were a kid, and now you’re getting it.”

“I want you more.” I couldn’t provide him with any other explanation because none of it mattered. This place was my dream, but Ellie was my future. I’d walk away from all of it if it meant I could be with him.

“Do you know what I love best about where I’m from?”

“I thought it was the beach.”

“I do love it. I like to sit and listen to the ocean and just think, but I mean more generally. What’s the best part about living in the Pacific Northwest?”

“I don’t know, baby boy.”

“Within a couple of hours, I can be in the city, and another hour and a half after that, I can be back at the ocean. I don’t need to see it every day, and I don’t think you should give up your dream on a maybe.”

“A maybe?”

“I still have a year. There’s no reason for you not to take the job while I’m still in school. After that? We could decide.” Ellie seemed more self-assured, more confident than I’d ever seen him. Fuck, it was sexy.

His nonexistent declaration of undying love was concerning. Shit, I hated talking about my emotions. It was entirely my parents’ fault—they fucking loved it and, as an only child, I’d gotten the brunt of the family feelings circle.

“Uh, Ellis…”

“Ellis?”

“Yes, you.”

“Yeah, but you never call me that.”

“I don’t? Pretty sure I call you by your name.”

“No, you call me kiddo or baby boy or Ellie. I can make some rules too, right?”

“Uh, sure.” Ellie’s eyes stared daggers at me. “I meant to say yes, one hundred percent you can.”

“Good. You don’t call me by my government name unless you’re mad at me or something’s on fire,” Ellie said stubbornly.

“Done.”

“I think we need a Daddy rule chart too.” If he wanted me to have a chart, he wasn’t going to leave me.

“That’s a good idea. After everyone leaves, we can figure out what I need to put on my chart.” My fingers flexed reflexively around his. Ellie still hadn’t said the three words I desperately wanted to hear.

“Baby boy, I’m wondering how you feel about me.” I hated to hear my voice crack, but this was my life. He was life. It mattered more than any job, cabin, or department.

“I love you, Daddy B.”

The words floated out of his mouth and washed over me, and suddenly I realized that everything was going to be fine.

What I had said earlier was absolutely true.

He was my dream, and I would change, move around, compromise, or do whatever it took for us both to be happy.

Not seeing him every day was going to be torture, but plenty of people managed, so we could too.

There was FaceTime, texting, and apps where we could upload his chore chart and both our rule charts.

It was going to be fine. We were going to figure it out.

I jumped up next to him, snatched him off the steps, and twirled him around in a circle.

His laughter echoed through the trees and enveloped us.

Our mouths fused together, but it felt different this time—there was no uncertainty, no hesitation.

I knew he loved me, and he knew I loved him, which made it all the sweeter.

Our tongues danced against each other as a prelude to what I hoped would come later that night.

My body sizzled at the thought that the next time I was inside him, I would be able to say the words I’d been holding back.

He was my home.