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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

brENNEN

“Hey, you’ve got mail,” Ellie called from the front door.

He waved the envelope in his hand wildly, like a bird in flight. A large manila envelope. I hadn’t graduated, so there was only one option.

“Kiddo, is that from the sheriff’s office?”

“Yep.”

“Oh shit.”

“Daddy B, you need to open it right now. It’s ’portant.” Ellie rushed across the room and laid the prize down in front of me like I’d been gifted a puppy. I stopped folding clothes and snagged him around the waist to pull him onto my lap.

“Before I open this, I need a kiss for good luck,” I said with mock seriousness.

Ellie dutifully pressed a soft kiss to my mouth like the good boy he was, but it wasn’t enough for me.

I slid my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him back toward me.

My mouth fit over his, and I plunged my tongue into his mouth.

He tasted like apple juice and mints. Our tongues explored each other’s mouths until my jeans became uncomfortably tight from his little moans.

We didn’t have time for a quickie. We had to get on the road before the traffic got terrible, or we would add hours to our trip. I reluctantly pulled away, and Ellie chased me with a small whimper.

“Kiddo, you’re a temptation.”

Ellie beamed at my words, but he wasn’t going to be deterred from his mission. He grabbed the envelope off the stack of clothes and presented it to me.

“Daddy, open it,” he ordered.

“Yes, sir.”

His giggles made me smile. I tore the edge and ripped open the flap.

“Wait!” Ellie hollered at the top of his lungs. I stopped immediately and waited. “You’re a good Daddy.”

With a wry smile, I pulled him forward for a gentle kiss. Ellie was a gift.

I couldn’t delay reading the damn thing. My hands shook as I forced my eyes to focus on the letter in my hands.

Dear Mr. Tate,

On behalf of the Coho County Sheriff’s Office, I am pleased to formally offer you a position within our department. You are being hired in an administrative capacity, with an official start date of June 1, 2025.

This role will enable you to become familiar with departmental operations and procedures, preparing you for your next step.

You have also been accepted to attend the Washington State Basic Law Enforcement Academy in Burian, Washington, beginning August 15, 2025.

The academy runs for six months and, upon successful completion and certification, you will be eligible for assignment as a sworn deputy with the Coho County Sheriff’s Office.

Please report to our administrative division at eight a.m. on June first for onboarding and initial training.

To accept this offer, please respond via email within fourteen days of the date of this letter.

Enclosed, you will find a packet from the County Human Resources Office as well as our department’s Personnel Manual.

These documents contain important information regarding your benefits, expectations, and department policies.

We are excited to welcome you to the team and look forward to supporting your growth as you begin your law enforcement career with us.

“Daddy! You’re in! You gotted it!” Ellie threw his arms around my neck and shouted in my ear while he clutched me close. He rained kisses all over my face between shouted congratulations. “You gotta say yes and call your parents right now.”

“I will, baby boy. I will.” My laughter spilled out, light and a little breathless. The job I’d wanted for years was actually mine. I’d be living in the mountains, doing something that mattered, waking up every day where I’d always wanted to be.

And Ellie… I hadn’t pictured him in that future, not at first. But now?

Now I couldn’t imagine it without him. He felt right.

And I wanted to hold on to that—hold on to him.

There was time to process all of this, but I could grab my laptop and shoot off an email to the department with my acceptance.

“All right, email done. Can you grab my phone, and I’ll call my folks.”

“Daddy B, maybe you can surprise them when they come up to the cabin? Then you can see your mom’s face when you tell them. She’s gonna cry.”

“Kiddo, that’s a great idea.”

“And then we have a cake to celebrate!” Ellie jiggled on my lap, and I worked to keep my breathing under control. If we ended up in the bedroom, we’d never make it up to the cabin today.

“A cake? Do we really need a cake?”

Ellie took my face between his two hands and then rubbed his nose against mine for little butterfly kisses. “Daddy B, always need cake.”

“Any ideas of what kind of cake?”

“Yellow cake with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles.” The seriousness of his tone made me wonder whether this was a spontaneous suggestion.

“Is that your favorite kind?”

“It’s for you.” The hurt in his voice made me question myself for even the idea that his intentions were less than pure. “I’m sorry, kiddo, that was mean of me.”

Ellie sat stiffly in my lap with his nose in the air when he answered, “Apology ’cepted.” But he ruined it when he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “But it is my favorite.”

“Daddy B, it’s so pretty.”

We pulled into the driveway in front of the house, and Ellie’s awestruck face made me smile.

I loved how open he was to everything and how he wasn’t embarrassed to admit when something made him happy or when something struck him as pretty.

If he was supposed to keep his happiness hidden, Ellie hadn’t gotten that memo, and I was glad for it.

“Yeah, it’s why I’ve always loved this place.” The cabin wasn’t fancy by many standards, but it was where I was always the happiest. It was the place where I could set aside expectations and simply exist as myself.

The front porch was wide, covered, and made for lazy afternoons. My favorite memories involved sitting out here with my grandpa, shooting the shit and watching the rain. The furniture was worn, comfortable, and had been there longer than I’d been alive.

There weren’t any actual garden areas, but wild ferns and vines with wildflowers popped up everywhere along the perimeter among the tall trees.

The sky peeked through the pines, and while it was the dark gray of a looming storm, it still reminded me how far away from the city we were.

And Ellie loving it at first sight? It was a fucking sign from the universe.

“Daddy B, you ready for a hike?”

“Yes, but I have something for you before we head out.” I reached into the bag I’d stashed in my car earlier this week and pulled out two boxes. Both were wrapped in white butcher paper and secured with twine. On top, written in my admittedly messy handwriting, it read:

Can only be opened by an explorer.

Ellie looked at me and asked, “I explorer?”

I booped him on the nose and answered, “I hope so because otherwise we’re gonna be in trouble on our hike.” Ellie giggled and pulled the first box toward him. He ripped the paper open with abandon, accompanied by more giggles and laughter. He broke the tape seal and then peered inside.

“Oh my goodness! For me?”

“Yep, there are two in there. One for your cute head and one for my big head.”

“Your head is very nice too, Daddy B.” He lifted out the two explorer hats like they were precious items. With an encouraging smile and nod, he gently lifted it and placed it on his head. I adjusted the straps for him so it was properly attached.

“Now you look like a proper explorer.”

“Now you do too,” Ellie added when he placed my hat on me.

“Open your next one.”

Ellie did it with equal enthusiasm. He squealed when he opened it and realized it was a kit that matched his new hat.

The box included a proper scientific net with a real compass, along with a canteen.

Printed on one side of the nylon satchel was Daddy’s Boy.

Ellie reverently traced his fingers over the print and looked up at me with a sweet, soft smile.

“You know you’re my favorite boy, right?”

“I know, Daddy.” He leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “And now I’m gonna be your favorite explorer too.”

“Always.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent tracking through the woods and finding as many pretty rocks as our pockets could hold. Ellie expanded his treasures to sticks of wood. Because he was a sweet boy, he double-checked to ensure no creatures were using the items as a home.

The trails led away from the cabin and through the few acres collectively owned by my family before we crossed onto public land.

Last time, we’d gone to the pond, but this time, we veered closer to the valleys.

In the distance, we could see the slopes of the resorts that dotted the area.

My mom wasn’t much of a winter sports person, but she swore by the spas.

“Hey, Ellie, have you ever gone skiing or snowboarding?”

He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Daddy B, there’s no snow at the ocean. You’re silly.” He laughed, but the sound was tinged with something brittle. It was a little tight, a little tinny, and more than a little forced.

“Oh, okay.” I fell silent again as I plotted how to get him up on the slopes with me this winter. If he wasn’t up for the downhill part, they had snowshoe trails too. And if he didn’t want to do that, maybe it was time for me to try something new and visit one of the spa places my mom swore by.

“You like the ocean?” Ellie asked.

“I do. I like it more when I can get in it without freezing my balls off.”

“That’s not my ocean then,” Ellie answered with a distant smile.

Whatever had been said had dampened the mood, and his sudden melancholy overtook us both. Our collection gathering slowed to a halt while we contemplated the individual thoughts consuming us.

“Did you disappear on me?” I gathered Ellie close to me and tucked his head under my chin. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, and we stood locked around each other while the breeze and the smell of the forest surrounded us.

“Of course not, Daddy B. I’m here until you’re not.”