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“I’m not sure I understand what you mean by that.” Ellie’s smile turned bright again when I drew back to see his pretty face. “Did I misunderstand?”

“It’s just a figure of speech.” He paused and looked up at the dark-gray sky, which was turning darker by the second. “Maybe we should go back?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to get drenched up here and end up with soggy socks.”

“That’s the worst.”

“The very worst.”

Ellie turned away and headed back in the direction we came from. He walked with more determination than I’d ever seen from him. There was no question that he was a man on a mission.

“Is everything okay?” I asked when I caught up with him. Given how much longer my legs were, he was practically jogging.

“I’m not ready to answer because I need to be…” Ellie cleared his throat before he continued, “I need to be clear-headed.”

“You’re not now?”

“I am too close to being little, and I need to be all the way big.”

“You know I wanna take care of you, big or little, right? There’s nothing that matters more to me than making sure you’re good.”

“Daddy B, it’s nothing. I probably just need a snack and a nap.”

I drew back and looked at him, and his eyes weren’t sad exactly, but more like all-knowing.

Like he could see into the future, and it was something that neither of us would like, but I didn’t understand how we could go from having a great day to where we had landed.

Whatever had shifted between us had happened in the blink of an eye, and I wasn’t sure how to catch up to him.

It felt like we were on opposite sides of the valley, trying to shout at each other, but our voices were being lost in the distance between us.

“What if we table everything tonight and just enjoy our evening? And tomorrow we can talk about whatever this is.”

“You gonna feed me?”

“Yep, and put you to bed too.”

“It’s a deal, Daddy.”

When we returned, Ellie arranged his rocks and twigs into a few of the overgrown planting areas around the house.

He was so particular about where each went, rearranging them until each rock or twig was in the most perfect spot.

He’d grabbed Tater and Peasebottom to get their approval for the placements.

While I knew he loved all his babies, those two were his clear favorites.

I could see his active struggle to keep himself from fully dropping into little space while he played in the dirt.

A part of him stayed in control and refused to take that last, final step.

Yes, of course, I wanted it for myself, but I wanted it for him more.

If being his Daddy was about caring for him, then his holdout meant he wasn’t getting everything he deserved and needed.

“What’s their verdict?” I asked when I came back with some snacks to eat on the porch.

I’d made a tray of ham and cheese on sourdough, a few nuts, cucumbers, carrots, cheese cubes, and hummus with chocolate milk in a sippy cup.

Ellie called it a feast. That was an overstatement, but my chest warmed when I knew he had a full tummy.

Everything about Ellie made me happy. His chore chart on the fridge with his stickers that he’d agonized over.

When he played with his stuffies in the living room while I stretched, or when he used my cock as a pacifier…

They all reminded me he felt at home with me, even if I knew he held back a piece of himself.

But I wanted to be his home because he was already mine.

“They liked it, but might wanna change their minds later. Why they gotta be so picky?”

“You’ll get them straightened out, kiddo.

” His dark curls begged to be tousled where he sat on the steps of the cabin.

I dropped the food and forced myself to concentrate on getting him fed before getting my hands on him.

“Eat up before your food gets cold.” Ellie gave me a sideways glance and a grin.

“Daddy B, you’re silly today.”

“Only with you. Wanna watch a movie after lunch? I’m pretty sure the rain will keep us inside.” Ellie nodded eagerly, but before we could decide on which one, my phone buzzed a few times.

Matty

My brother wondered if he could get Cooper’s number.

He was hoping they could get together. I think Rafe wanted it too.

Brennen

Hold on.

“Kiddo, Matty wants to know if he can get your number to give to his brother. He said Rafe wanted it too.”

“Why would they want my number?”

“Uh, kiddo, why wouldn’t they? I think they really liked getting to know you at the team dinner, and I know Rafe did at The Diner.”

Ellie’s pretty blush bothered me more than anything because I wanted him to see himself the way I did. His shyness was the shield he used to hide away.

“Since it’s spring break, what if we invited the three of them up for a day at the cabin? My parents are coming for a BBQ anyway, we could invite them for a hike, and then we could grill for lunch.”

“If you want to hang out with them…”

“I think they want to hang out with you, not me. Why not text them and see what they say? I’ll get their numbers from Matty, and you can decide.”

Ellie’s eyes went wide with indecision and nerves. Matty was still a fucker who pissed me off regularly, but he was all right. He had the good taste to like my boyfriend, so he couldn’t be all bad. Benji was a sweet guy, and I liked that Matty was protective of him.

“You don’t have to decide right now. It can wait ’til later.” Ellie was still apprehensive, so I added, “Or not at all.”

“Why am I so shy with everyone but you? I hate it.”

“I’m not the psych professor in the family, so I can’t give you a technical answer.

I might guess it is something to do with comfort level, and maybe if you opened up to them a little bit, you’d be as comfortable with them as you are with me.

” Ellie’s sidelong look spoke volumes. “Well, maybe not that comfortable. You gotta hold something back just for me.” Ellie’s nerves turned to giggles that morphed into belly laughs.

“I mean…that does seem fair.”

“All right, kiddo, how about we go take a shower, get comfy, and start a movie marathon because I wanna be lazy for the rest of the afternoon.”

“You want to pick the movie, Daddy? You always let me pick, and you should get a turn too.”

“I always let you pick because you pick the best movies, baby boy.”

If luck was on my side, Ellie wouldn’t ever stop flushing when I called him that.

I fell a little deeper in love with him every day.

It almost felt like lying to him because I hadn’t told him that was where I was at with him.

It was going to get complicated with me being here and then in the academy while he finished school, but we could figure all that shit out.

“Daddy B, can you wash my back?”

“Fuck yeah, baby boy.”