Page 62 of I Do, or Dye Trying
“Not that,” I told him. “I wouldn’t be back so quickly if that was the case.” I handed his beer to him and said, “Our spouses have duped us both when it comes to the macaroni and cheese.” I shook my head sadly then told John what I saw in the kitchen.
“What?” John asked. “Do I even know my wife at all?”
I could’ve let the silly competition between spouses go and look forward to mypunishment, but I found that I liked giving John a hard time. “I bet Josh makes better potato salad than Deanna.”
“Without a doubt,” John said, not taking the bait. “I’d say baked beans, but I know for a fact she buys those in a can.” He thought for a minute and said, “Chili cook-off. Technically it’s fall, even if the temperatures are warmer than normal.”
“Halloween party slash chili cook-off,” I countered. “Anyone can enter their chili for judging.”
“Who’s going to be the judge?” John asked.
“We’ll find impartial judges,” I told him. I freaking loved the idea once it took root. “I think we should have a costume party too so that you guys stand a chance at winning something.”
“You’re a boastful son of a bitch when it comes to Josh’s cooking, aren’t you?” John asked.
“It’s not boasting if it’s the truth and I’ve asked you to stop calling my mother such harsh names,” I said good-naturedly. “It’s Martina, Mrs. Wyatt, or Mom; never bitch.”
John threw his head back and laughed heartily. “Okay, I won’t make that mistake again.”
I wasn’t excited about having the Sunday dinner when Josh first told me it was still on, but once I saw our friends’ smiling faces, I was glad that he insisted. It seemed like Adrianna had grown so much in the two weeks we were gone.
“Hi, pretty baby,” I said to her. “Did you miss Uncle Josh and Gabe?” She smiled up at me, and I felt my heart squeeze tight in my chest.
“Um,” Sally Ann said, “Adrian and I would like to talk to you about something tonight after everyone leaves.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked nervously.
“It’s fine, honey. I’m sorry if I sounded so serious, but we do have an important question to ask you.”
“Name it,” I said. “Blood, money, or John’s kidney.”
“Hey!” John hollered. “My kidney is already promised to someone else.”
“Who?” Deanna asked. “Busty Buxton?” My eyes widened at the mention of John’s ex-girlfriend until I saw the grin on Deanna’s face.
John just rolled his eyes and said, “Nah, I bargained it away to the crossroad demons so I could have you.”
“Awwww,” our friends all said.
“They didn’t want your soul, huh?” Deanna asked.
“What soul?” he fired back.
“Good point,” she said, nodding. “You made a good deal, babe.”
“We don’t want blood, money, or anyone’s kidney,” Adrian said. “We’d like you and Josh to be Adrianna’s godparents and stand beside us for her christening in a few weeks.”
“Oh,” Josh said, his eyes were as wide as saucers. “We’re not ready for a baby. We have a road trip planned for next summer before we get serious about babies.”
“We’ll try not to die until you get back from vacation,” Adrian said dryly. “We’ll try not to die for four or five decades while we’re at it.”
Josh’s cheeks flamed red with embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant,” Josh said in a rush. “I don’t want anything to happen to either one of you.” Josh looked at Adrianna then back at me. “She’s not quite housebroken, yet, but what do you say?”
“We’ll take her,” I told Adrian and Sally Ann.
“This conversation didn’t go according to plan,” Sally Ann told Adrian.
“It never does with Gabe,” Adrian said. “He goes off the rail all the time.”