Page 12 of I Do, or Dye Trying

“Don’t wimp out,” Dorchester told him firmly. “It’ll be the most beautiful moment of your life. Women are warriors—always have been and always will be—so you need to be equally as strong for her when she needs you most. When you hear your daughter’s first cry and see her in your wife’s arms, you’re going to be glad you weren’t sitting out in the waiting room like our grandfathers were. Can I give you a little bit of advice?”

“I’d love it,” Adrian said earnestly.

“Fix yourself, man. You look like hell!” Dorchester waved his hands up and down Adrian’s torso. “You’re unshaven, your hair is a mess, and did you sleep in those damn clothes? Is this how you want to look in the pictures with your wife and infant daughter? Are you trying to scare your baby girl?”

Adrian stood taller and puffed out his chest a little. “No.”

“Then shave and clean yourself up when you get home. Pull yourself together for your wife. You think she doesn’t see how nervous you are?” Dorchester crooked his finger for Adrian to come a little closer. He lowered his voice and said, “Maybe you try to have some sexy time with your wife before the little bundle of cockblocking joy arrives.”

Adrian blushed an interesting shade of red I’d never seen before in all the years I’d known him. “Uh, yeah, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Good man,” Dorchester said, slapping him hard on the shoulder before he turned to me. “Ready to meet with the prosecutor?”

“You’re something else, Dorchester,” I told him.

“Yeah, but have you figured out what yet?” he asked me as I followed him outside to my vehicle.

“No, but you’ll be the first to know when I do,” I answered. “Dorchester, do you and your family have plans on Sunday afternoon?”

“Not that I’m aware of, but I’d have to check with the boss before I can commit to anything. Why? Are you wanting to catch a game like we talked about this spring?” Dorchester had mentioned Josh and me attending a game with his family. I thought I had a better idea in mind.

“We have a weekly dinner with our friends, and I thought maybe your family would like to come over and barbecue and play cornhole with us,” I told him.

“That sounds awesome. Count us in,” Dorchester said.

“I thought you said you had to check with the boss?” I asked.

“Just did.” I could see him wiggling his cell phone out of the corner of my eye. “She said that sounded much better than brunch at her sister’s house.”

“I don’t want to cause any problems,” I told him.

“You didn’t. You asked if we were free and we decided we were. I’ve heard you go on and on about Josh’s cooking, so I’m looking forward to sampling it.”

“Actually, I’m the grill master,” I said proudly. “If you’re a really good boy, I’ll invite you over for one of the Sunday meals where my man cooks a feast. We’ll try you out now to see if you’re deserving of such a treat.”

“Fine,” Dorchester said with a pout. “Just for that, I’m not asking my wife to bake her apple pie.”

“Fine with me,” I shot back. “No way her pie is better than Josh’s anyway.”

“You want to bet?” Dorchester asked.

“Yeah, I actually do,” I replied.

“Well, I insist on impartial judges,” he said haughtily. “It’s clear that Josh has home field advantage.”

I snorted in derision. “Like he needs that,” I said arrogantly. “We’ll do a blind taste test. Only the contestants will know who is pie A or pie B. People can vote for their favorite via secret ballot.”

“Fine!” Dorchester exclaimed as he texted furiously on his phone.

“Deal,” I said, going for my phone as soon as I parked outside the courthouse. I sent Josh a quick text.

Sunshine, I just talked up your apple pie to Dorchester. He thinks Deanna can bake a better apple pie than you. Apple pie bake-off on Sunday. I need you to annihilate her, and I don’t care if her kids are watching. Don’t let me down. Love you!

I probably should’ve talked to Josh before I invited the couple over, but what was five more people to feed? I also probably should’ve considered Josh’s time before I volunteered him to enter a bake-off against Dorchester’s wife. I might’ve sounded a little crazy, and I wondered what kind of reaction I would get from Josh. My phone vibrated with an incoming text just as I entered the courthouse. I glanced at my phone and smiled when I saw the message.

I will show her no mercy!

Damn, I fucking loved that man!