Page 42 of I Do, or Dye Trying

“Home, it is,” Gabe agreed.

THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYSfelt like I was living in an alternate universe; an unending dream-like state that would drop me into the happiest days of my life before yanking me out and throwing me into the scariest. When I was in high school, I was forced to read “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens like every other kid in America. It was classic literature at its finest our teacher said, but it seemed like a bunch of confusing nonsense to a teenager who was coming out of his darkness to discover healthier, hornier ways of dealing with the grief from losing his brother.

I found the book boring and depressing at the time, yet certain lines stuck with me two decades after reading it. Deputy Matthews’ visit to our home was a prime example of how something could be the best and worst of times. He implied that a fugitive on the run could be heading to kill me, which qualified as the worst part of that day. What came after though was the best time, not just because Josh was wet, naked, and open to my body, but because his heart was wide open and willing to share all the secrets it held.

The days that followed had the same pattern. There were moments that were so brilliant and beautiful that they couldn’t possibly be real; like Josh blaring Barry White’s “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe” and trying to teach Savage and Sassy to dance to it. Yeah, I had that on video and would cherish that for the rest of my life. The darkest moments came when I realized that the rest of my life might not be as long as I wanted. I projected confidence that everything was fine and that there was no way Jimmy would be stupid enough to come after me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was waiting for the right time to pounce.

I did the only thing I could to make the people around me aware of the threat by distributing his Most Wanted poster all over town. I also made arrangements to take care of Josh should Jimmy get the best of me. I didn’t wait until after the wedding to change the beneficiary on my life insurance policy or the accounts where I had the rest of my inheritance tucked away. I woke up each morning sure that I would have a long, happy life with Josh and went to bed certain that he’d feel my love for him in other ways if I was wrong.

Of all the things we planned for our wedding, a bachelor party had never been one of them. Somehow this shocked and outraged our friends. Instead of a cornhole battle, they began planning our parties without our input. Josh and I sat beside one another listening to them talk over each other as they tried to come up with plans that could involve both of us, but it became quite obvious that we didn’t always enjoy the same hobbies.

“Golf,” Adrian suggested, which Sally Ann vetoed with a scowl.

“Day spa,” she countered, earning equal scorn from Adrian.

“Reds game,” Dorchester suggested.

“Dinner and theater,” Deanna countered.

Okay, so Josh and I weren’t the only couple with totally opposite interests. The debate went on for a while; I had no hope that we’d find a suitable compromise until Kyle spoke up.

“Why does it have to be one or the other?” he asked. “Why can’t we start out with two separate outings then meet up later to celebrate as one large group?” No one said anything right away, so he continued. “One group plays golf in the morning then goes to a Reds game afterward. The other group does the day spa, dinner, and theater thing. All of us meet later at Vibe to dance and celebrate. We’ll stay at a hotel and use a cab or a car service so we don’t have to worry about driving.”

It was the perfect compromise, but we only had one weekend before our wedding so I wasn’t sure we could pull it off. Ha! Our determined friends said otherwise. Once everyone decided which outing they were going on, they whipped out their cell phones and began booking hotel rooms and spa treatments, buying tickets for the game and theater, and made reservations for golf and dinner. Neither the Dorchesters nor the Goodes worried about finding a babysitter since Adrian’s and John’s parents lived close and were always wanting time with the grandbabies.

The couples—and should-be couples—were split between both groups. In my opinion, we could have compromised even more so that the groups could’ve stayed together. It wasn’t that I was crazy about going to the theater, neither was Josh excited about the ballgame, but each day that passed without Jimmy’s apprehension felt like borrowed time with Josh. I couldn’t very well tell him that without freaking him out, so I kept my mouth shut and agreed to the plan.

Jockeying back and forth between deliriously happy and scared out of my mind was catching up and wearing me down. I did my best to smile and laugh when it was appropriate on the afternoon we set out on our separate excursions. I kissed Josh goodbye in the hotel lobby and got in the car that Silver hired to drive us around. Emory seemed to accept his presence better once Silver followed him home the night of our barbecue, but I could see that he still wasn’t completely comfortable around him.

I was off my usual golf game, which made Adrian happy. He could see that he was going to beat me for the first time since we started playing together not long after I moved to Blissville. He laughed and lived it up, which lifted my mood and made me smile. Not only was Adrian my best friend, but he was also a damn good detective, so I wasn’t at all surprised when he and Dorchester pulled me off to the side.

“I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through right now, Gabe,” Adrian said. “I know that my words and assurances aren’t enough to erase your worry about De Soto targeting you, but the department is going to do everything they can to protect you both.”

“Thanks, Adrian,” I told him. “One minute I’m convinced he’s long gone then the next I’m sure he’ll attempt to take me out before he’s captured.”

“He’s not going to get close enough,” Dorchester said firmly.

“Thanks, John,” I told him, wishing I could be as confident.

“Whoa,” he said, eyes wide with surprise. “You just used my first name.”

“Asshole?” I asked.

“No, that’s what you call him when he’s not around,” Adrian said.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s much worse than that,” Dorchester quipped.

“I did ask you to stand up with me at my wedding, so it’s only right I stop being so formal when I talk to you,” I told John.

“You only did it so you’d have an even number of attendants,” John scoffed. “Who else were you going to ask? One of your past hookups? Oh, wait, one of them was implicated in the death of the other, which leaves your former lover, or the guy who waved his dick at you, or me. I’m pretty damn sure which one of us Josh would prefer.”

“Silver,” Adrian and I both said at the same time, drawing ire from John and pulling Silver’s attention to our group.

“I was just telling John how I’m going to replace him with you as one of my attendants if he didn’t stop smarting off. I can’t have someone up there trying to upstage me on my big day,” I told Silver. I couldn’t very well repeat what John had said since it was Silver’s brother that was my past hookup whose death could’ve been prompted by the other hookup’s negligence. It was obviously a good thing that my days of hooking up were over since I made such crappy choices.

“We’re about the same size so I’m sure I could fit into his tuxedo if I need to step in,” Silver said good-naturedly.

“Not so sure about that,” John fired back. “I consider myself to be well-endowed, but even so, there are places the tuxedo pants might be a little too snug for you.”