Page 20 of I Do, or Dye Trying

“Excuse me?” he asked, clearly not expecting my response to his kind gesture. “Are you saying you want me to write a ticket even though I was prepared to let you go with a verbal warning?”

“That’s precisely what I’m saying. I do not want special treatment because of my relationship with Detective Wyatt.” The deputy started laughing then.

“You think I’m not giving you a ticket because of your boyfriend?” he asked.

“Fiancé,” I corrected.

“It had nothing to do with your fiancé, but I would’ve offered him the same courtesy had I known,” the deputy said with a smile. “My wife just drove by and saw that I had you pulled over and threatened to cut me off if I gave you a ticket. Her opinion—or threat in this case—far outweighs that of Detective Wyatt’s. Seriously, just slow it down so that you don’t become a sad statistic.”

“Thank you, Deputy,” I looked at the embroidered name across his chest for the first time, “Jasper. I’ll be sure to let Linda know how nice you were.” I leaned a little closer and asked, “Do you want me to stretch it a bit, so you get extra play time?”

He laughed hard at my question. “My wife knows I’m an asshole so she would know you were lying and we concocted this scheme together.” He rapped his knuckles on my car door, but not hard enough to draw my ire. “Drive safe, Mr. Roman.”

“You be safe too, Deputy,” I told him before he walked away.

It wasn’t often that someone called me Mr. Roman; most people called me Josh or Jazz. The deputy had me thinking about what my last name would be once I married Gabe. My Gemini twins went to war in my brain over what they wanted. One twin wanted me to be traditional and take Gabe’s name, and the other wanted me to keep my name as it was. I decided a compromise was the best bet and I planned to hyphenate my names, but I wondered what Gabe’s thoughts were on the subject?

Once I got to the hospital, all my attention shifted to Sally Ann, Adrian, and baby Adrianna. I entered Sally Ann’s room and found her lounging peacefully on her bed doing her Lamaze breathing while Adrian huffed and puffed like a dragon in the chair beside her. Gabe walked over to the side of the bed where Adrian sat holding Sally Ann’s hand. He patted Adrian’s shoulder comfortingly and grinned like a goober at the same time.

“How’s it going?” I asked softly when I approached the hospital bed.

“It’s great!” Adrian said with false cheer. “Everything is going to be great.”

“Yes, it is so please try to calm down, darling,” Sally Ann said soothingly. “My body was made to do this, and I’m going to be just fine. A little pain isn’t going to… Holy Fuck!” I jumped back because I’d never heard Sally Ann use foul language. “Son of a bitch, that fucking hurts!” I tried my hardest not to smile because there was nothing funny about seeing my friend in pain. “How much fucking longer is this going to take?” Sally Ann asked. Okay, maybe it was funny when she changed from a sweet Disney Princess to a cursing sailor.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Adrian said, looking heartbroken that he played a role in her pain. “Dorchester said it will all be worth it when we hold our baby girl for the first time.”

“Dorchester, huh? How many kids did he squeeze out of his body? Last time I checked, a vagina was required to deliver a baby into this world. A uterus, at least. Not like you’re going to pack an eight-pound baby in your prostate gland for forty weeks then squeeze it out your ass.”

The dam on my laughter broke, and it rolled out of me loud and long. I wasn’t the only one either. It seemed to be what Adrian needed to get over his freak-out, and Gabe finally gave into the temptation to have a laugh at his best friend’s expense. None of us laughed harder than Sally Ann.

“Oh, Sally Ann. I love you so much,” I told her. “I’m taking this memory to the grave, but not before I bring it up at every single one of Adrianna’s birthday parties. My Lord, girl. That’s just priceless.”

“And painful,” Gabe muttered. I could tell he was squeezing his pucker tight in reaction to her vivid comparison.

“I’m sorry,” Sally Ann said tearfully. “You’re only trying to help, and I didn’t mean to turn on you.”

“Honey, you can call me every name in the book; I won’t care,” Adrian assured softly, as he ran his hand over the top of her head. “I’d take this pain for you if I could.” Sally Ann sniffled as she nodded her head. Adrian leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly. I was a sucker for forehead kisses, and I felt my eyes tearing up.

I caught Gabe’s eyes and tipped my head toward the door so he’d follow me out into the hallway. “I think they could use some private time,” I said once he joined me.

“I agree with you. Want to grab a snack or something?” Gabe asked me.

“Want to find a supply closet and make out?” I counteroffered.

“Oh, you’re my favorite kind of snack.” Gabe hooked his arm around my neck and pulled me close so he could growl and nibble on the flesh there.

“Gross,” a man said hotly, reminding me that we were in public.

Gabe turned loose of me and looked in the direction of the person who was offended by our PDA. There were several people who had passed us in the hallway, so it was impossible to know who had run their mouths.

“Who gives a damn what they think?” I asked, slipping my fingers between Gabe’s and giving him a little tug so that we could continue with our day and forget the loser.

“Frankly, not me, Scarlett,” Gabe replied in his best Rhett Butler voice.

“That movie you know,” I said, tossing my hands up in the air.

“It’s my mother and grandmother’s favorite movie. I probably know every word by heart,” he confessed.