Page 36 of I Do, or Dye Trying
“You think of everything.” A wicked smile spread across his face as he shimmied out of his jeans.
Our shouts of pleasure echoed all over the bathroom and probably the entire second floor of that area of the home, since there wasn’t any furniture or area rugs to act as a buffer. He rode me hard enough against the glass wall that we knew that the craftsmanship had indeed not been shitty. It was constructed to withstand a furious fuck. Gabe was loose as hell after that and I had hoped it was the break in tension he needed, but the next morning it had returned.
I knew we couldn’t go on pretending there wasn’t a giant elephant in the room but I wasn’t sure what the hell to say or do. I wanted so badly to talk to someone and get their advice on how to help Gabe, but it felt wrong to talk about his struggle to anyone. I decided to just be patient and understanding while he decided what to do.
My salvation came in the form of a phone call the very next day. Brook said that she’d received a call from a friend who ran a bird rescue organization who was in possession of a bird who needed a forever home. Birds like Savage were rare and were often illegally brought into our country and sold. The owners often didn’t want the expense or hassle of taking care of them properly, and many died. Savage had been well-loved, if not brainwashed with filth, but was left alone after his owner died. The bird that Brook was calling me about wasn’t as fortunate as Savage.
“She’s beautiful, Josh. Her name is Sassy, and she’s a scarlet macaw. I think she’ll get along with our boy just fine,” Brook said. “Would you like me to text you some pictures?”
“Nope, I just need the address,” I said into the phone. I knew Sassy was our girl the minute that Brook said her name.
The next day I drove ninety minutes north to pick up a surprise for two of my guys. Gabe had found his Sassy, and it was time that Savage found his too. It was my early night at the salon, so I headed out before Gabe got home from work. I left him a note that said I was on a secret mission for a surprise and would call him when I was on my way back. True to my word, I called when I was about thirty minutes away.
“Where’d you go for this surprise? Is it a sexy surprise?” Gabe asked hopefully, his deep voice rumbling out my speakers caused a shiver to work its way down my spine.
“I’m standing at the dildo section at Kinky Kim’s,” I told him. “Trying to decide if you’d like the Tonsil Tickler model.”
“Tonsil Tickler?” he asked in fear.
“You know, it’s so long that you can feel it tickling your tonsils when it’s…”
“… Yeah, I figured that out, Sunshine.”
“’Cause you’re a badass detective,” I replied.
“Sometimes you don’t have to be real bright to figure things out,” Gabe replied with a laugh. “So, when can I expect you and your new dildo home?”
“It’s your dildo and about twenty-five minutes,” I said, adjusting for the time we spent on the phone.
“Dildo! Dildo!” Sassy said from the seat beside me. Here’s the deal, she was more articulate with her words. She sounded more human than Savage, and there’s very little difference between a female and male bird voice—for lack of a better word. It sounded like I had a dude in the car with me.
“Josh, who’s that?” Gabe asked slowly.
“It’s your surprise, baby!” I said.
“Take him back because I only want you and I thought you only wanted me. What the hell is going on?” Gabe asked angrily.
“Just trust me, Gabe. I’ll see you in less than twenty minutes.”
I bet you’ll never guess who was waiting for me in the driveway when I pulled in. Gabe stood there with his arms crossed over his broad chest wearing a thunderous expression. A huge smile bloomed across his face when he spied the cage in my passenger seat and the majestic bird inside it. Sassy was a little taller than Savage and mostly a vibrant red with blue and yellow feathers on her wings and tail. She was fucking magnificent, and I fell in love with her the second she blew kisses at me.
“Surprise!” I said, opening the door.
“How? Where?” Gabe just shook his head. Then Sassy made kissy sounds at him, and I swear he melted into a puddle of goo in the driveway. “What’s his name?”
“Hername is Sassy, and she’s a scarlet macaw,” I told him.
“She sounds like a boy,” Gabe said, clearly confused.
“You’re confusing cartoon birds with reality. Sassy’s tone is a little different than Savage’s, but she articulates her words better and sounds more human. It’s odd because usually, the male birds are better talkers than female birds.”
“Well, Savage only knows gutter talk, so I’m not sure anyone spent a lot of time teaching him things,” Gabe said, reaching in to pull Sassy’s cage out of the car. “Hi, Sassy,” Gabe said to his new pet because I could tell that she was already bonding with him. She was dancing in her cage and flapping her wings. I couldn’t blame her; he made me want to do those things too. “You sure are a pretty girl.”
Sassy whistled and blew kisses to him again. “Pretty girl,” she repeated. I wondered how long it would be before she called him Big Daddy like Savage did.
“I’m worried how Savage is going to react to her,” I said. I’d done some research, and I planned to keep them separated for a while and would let them take their time getting to know one another. Gabe wasn’t joking when he said he wanted him to have a warm, tropical-looking room to live. Besides room for his lube, it was his only request. Some people had large aquariums in their living rooms, but we would have a large solarium complete with rainforest sounds. A perfect home for Savage and his new lady friend.
“Savage and Sassy,” Gabe said out loud as he led the way up the steps to the back door. “Sounds like some punk rock band or something.”