Page 30 of Hunger in His Blood (Brides of the Kylorr #3)

CHAPTER 30

ERINA

T hree days after I’d posted the letter to the keep, addressing it for Maudoric’s attention, since I knew everything passed through her first, there was a reply.

I found it wedged beneath my door when I trudged in after another long day at Kyndri’s. I’d asked to work longer hours so that I could make seventy credits instead of the usual fifty. But I only got a handful of hours of sleep because of it. Even Kyndri had started to looked concerned, and I feared that she’d decide to cut the hours back, if only for my own health.

But I needed to make another week’s rent at Ikrin’s. I had to pay him in two days, and it would wipe out nearly everything.

It will buy me another week while I wait for Kaldur’s reply, I thought.

That had been the only thing pushing me forward.

But that evening, my heart lurched when I saw the letter and the wax seal on the backside, the familiar seal of House Kaalium, and my hands shook as I gently tore it open.

I began to read.

To Erina Denoren ,

I cannot verify the truth of your claim, especially given your relationship with Luc Denoren. Therefore, I am of the firm belief that what you claim is false and this is another attempt on your part to obtain more credits from me.

In your creditory account, you will find the ten vron that was owed to you. No less and no more. This is the last that I will ever give you. Any other letters or attempts at communication will be ignored.

It was signed by Kaldur, written in a sure, firm, tidy script.

For a moment, I thought maybe it was a cruel joke. But the signature was familiar, from what I remembered of it on the blood-giver contract, that night in the starwood blooms when he’d fed from me for the first time.

I sat on my bed, staring down at the letter in my hands. The parchment was thick, expensive. When I saw a tear drop land on it, blurring his signature, that was when I got angry.

He wasn’t anything like how I’d thought he’d be. I’d known that when I’d left Vyaan, but this letter demonstrated a new cruelty that I hadn’t thought him capable of.

And I knew what it was. It was a payoff. It was a rejection. It was him washing his hands of a potential child that he’d sired. Maybe there were others. Maybe he did this all the time.

And it made zero sense to me, how Kaldur could be this person. Then again, perhaps I was a terrible judge of character. Perhaps I hadn’t known him at all.

Perhaps what Kaldur and Luc had said was true. That I needed to grow up. That I was naive and foolish .

Maybe this was how I would learn. Not to trust people I thought I could.

Despair swirled in my chest. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to become that kind of person.

But it was clear to me that I would find no help or responsibility in Kaldur. He’d sent money to pay me off, and even now, I felt like it was poisoned. I would loathe ever touching it in that cursed account…but I also knew I needed it.

Laras chewed me up and spat me out, I thought.

And I missed home, missed the familiarity of Vyaan, streets that I knew like my own handwriting. Even though being there would always remind me of Kaldur in a way.

I sat on my bed, reread the letter perhaps hundreds of times as I weighed my options.

The first of which was that I could continue scraping by in Laras. I could work myself hard at Kyndri’s Landing, try to save up enough money for when the child eventually came. But in only a couple weeks, I would show more. Just this morning I’d finally noticed my belly beginning to round. The rapid speed of a hybrid pregnancy, I remembered the healer telling me. Dangerous, he’d also said.

What if something went wrong?

The second option was to return to Vyaan. Syndras would help me. Even though she could no longer afford to keep me in her employ, she was still a noble with connections to great Houses. Finding a more comfortable job, with better pay than what I would find here, would give me a better chance to get my feet firmly planted where I could actually save money for the baby.

This time I wouldn’t reject Kaldur’s money, but I refused to touch it unless something went wrong in the pregnancy. It would be my safety net, just in case.

“Not a lot of options,” I whispered.

And Luc …

I was still grieving our conversation, still reeling. Everything I’d thought, all the hopes and dreams I had pinned on Laras were gone. Luc was gone, or at least the Luc I’d known. That hurt like a death, nearly as much as Kaldur’s rejection.

Once, Luc’s blue eyes had sparked with fire and determination. I had listened to him for hours talking about the grand life he would make for himself here. And he’d almost done it too. That was perhaps the most heartbreaking thing.

But I didn’t know the Luc I’d met. That familiar and inspiring spark of fire had been extinguished from his eyes.

And he doesn’t want me around either, I thought. He’d made that abundantly clear, even though I’d meant what I’d said.

I wouldn’t give up on Luc. I would always be there if he needed me. But right now…he didn’t want my help. Not that I could even help myself right now.

I need to get back on my feet, I realized. I needed to be smart about this. I had a child to think about now.

The answer became clear, even though I didn’t want to do it.

I had to return to Vyaan.

Where I, at least, had connections. Where my references would mean something. I’d worked in the Vyaan keep, something I’d felt I had to lie about here. But in Vyaan, that would get me a job anywhere, especially if I had Maudoric behind me, which I thought I would.

From my pocket, I pulled the last of my credits, which I kept on me at all times.

I could either pay Ikrin for the next week…or I could spend half of it on a caravan ticket back to Vyaan.

Taking in a deep breath, I pressed my hand to my stomach. In all my panic, I’d never really given thought to what a child would mean. A little hybrid child, with budding horns and gray skin. Possibly wings.

If Luc’s determination had been extinguished in him, I felt like I’d taken all of it for myself .

It burned in me.

I wouldn’t let this break me. I wouldn’t let Kaldur break me. I would raise my child on my own if I needed to, and I would give him or her a good life. A good childhood, where they knew they were loved every single day. A child I would never abandon. A child I would love with every part of me.

At least one of my dreams was coming true. To be a mother.

But like everything in life, it came when I least expected it.

I didn’t want to leave Laras without saying goodbye to Luc. I only knew that he worked at the docks, and so I waited there whenever I could since it was a short distance from Kyndri’s. But after two days, there was no sign of him and my time at Ikrin’s was up.

I finished out the last evening at Kyndri’s, having already looked up the timetable for the next caravan to Vyaan. I’d sent ahead a letter to Syndras, and I prayed to all the gods and goddesses I knew that she was back in the village after visiting family.

Kyndri knew I was leaving. “Sorry to see you go,” she told me when the last of the patrons cleared out. I’d brought my broken traveling bag with me to work this morning because I would leave straight to the transport station from here, catching the last caravan out tonight. “You’re a good worker.”

“Thanks,” I replied. With a heavy heart, I pushed a letter over the bar counter. The final one I’d written last night. “Will you do me a favor?”

Kyndri looked down at the letter. “For the hybrid male?”

I nodded. “I don’t know how to find him. But if he ever comes looking for me here, will you give him this? It’s…it’s important.”

“He the one who got you pregnant?” she asked next.

Surprise made me reel back. Was it obvious ?

She chuffed out a soft laugh, shaking her head as she polished another jug clean. “I have three young ones myself. You think I wouldn’t know what was going on? Especially when humans show sooner?”

I looked down at my belly.

“I knew a human once who delivered within two months. After that first month, she looked like she’d swallowed a kellu fruit.”

“Two months?” I asked, hearing my audible gulp. “Well, let’s hope I have more time than that.”

Kyndri swept up the letter, giving me a meaningful look.

“No, it’s not him,” I told her. “But he’s like a brother to me, and I want him know where he can find me. If he ever needs me.”

She inclined her head, walking around the bar to meet me on the other side. “If he ever comes back, I’ll give it to him. I promise. Don’t you worry.”

I’d found a kind soul in her, and I was grateful. “Thank you, Kyndri. For everything.”

“Ach,” she grumbled. “Get out of here before you miss the caravan. And if you’re ever in Laras again, come say hello with your little one.”

My throat burned. I hid my tears with a wobbly smile and collected my traveling bag from behind the bar, where I’d had it tucked away.

“Here,” she said, reaching into her pocket for coins. “Your last pay. With a little extra for food. You don’t eat enough. You need to keep up your strength.”

I gave her an impromptu hug, one she sighed into but patted me on the back nevertheless.

“Take care of yourself, Erina.”

I nodded, released her, and then gathered my bag. My eyes flitted to the letter in her hand, the only tie left I had to Luc here.

“Goodbye,” I told her.

Then I left Kyndri’s Landing for the last time on weary legs, navigating the darkened streets of Laras until I finally reached the transport depot.

The last caravan from Laras came on time. Behind me, Laras glittered. My heart was heavy, feeling like I was leaving Luc behind.

But for once, I needed to think about myself, what was best for me and the child I was now carrying.

Without another thought, I climbed into the caravan after the driver took my single bag and payment.

Then we set off for home.

Five days later, I was standing on the steps of House Terasyn. The caravan had been the lowest fare because of the ample stops along the way, and I’d only managed to bathe at a village in the middle of the country.

I was dirty and hungry and so incredibly tired.

But when Syndras opened the door to House Terasyn, when she saw me standing there, her eyes widening briefly on my rounding stomach, it felt like landing somewhere safe.

“Oh, my dear,” she said quietly, ushering me in the familiar home. “Come in, come in. Get warm.”

But I only embraced her, needing to feel touch and comfort. Despite my unbathed state, Syndras held me tight and stroked down my back. She’d always been kind and caring, if a little gruff, like a grandmother I’d never known. It had broken my heart to leave this House.

“You’re home now,” she whispered into my ear. “It will be okay.”

And I’d never heard more wonderfully necessary words in my entire life.