Page 17 of Hunger in His Blood (Brides of the Kylorr #3)

CHAPTER 17

ERINA

K aldur never came to my room that night even though I waited into the early hours.

Nor did he come to me the next morning. When I went to go search for him, I ran into Maudoric inspecting one of the rooms in the South Wing. She told me she hadn’t seen him, studying the dark circles under my eyes and the clothes I’d been wearing yesterday. There was a distance in her that hadn’t been there before. A polite aloofness, usually reserved for Kaldur’s guests when they came to the keep. I almost preferred it when she was berating me.

I went about my day even though his absence struck me as odd. Had he…had he not come back to the keep last night? And if not, where had he been?

I frowned, allowing myself to imagine it for just a moment. Kaldur with another female, perhaps even Lydrasa again. Unfortunately I had an exact image in my mind of what they would look like making love together.

“Enough,” I whispered to myself, feeling a pinching ache of jealousy and hurt, abruptly deciding to distract myself in the village today .

One of my favorite pastimes was sitting in the Southern village square on my days off and watching all the people that passed. Not only nobles and their companions, but farmers, craftsmen, merchants, travelers, soldiers, keepers. It would be a perfect distraction, I decided. A rush of inspiration always hit me for my stories after afternoons like those, and I was so close to finishing the final part of Kavelyn’s book.

After changing into fresh clothes and brushing through my hair, I gathered my satchel, patted my notebook into place, and made sure I had credits if I got hungry. Then I set off.

On my way out of the keep’s door, I spied Velle, wiping down one section of the stair’s banister in the atrium. I sucked in a small breath of surprise. She eyed me, pressing her lips together. Her hair was held back by her familiar headband, her sleeves rolled up, a bucket of sudsy water at her feet.

“Hi,” I offered, a small, hesitant smile crossing my features. “I?—”

She turned her back.

A sting of hurt reverberated through me, and I bit back a sigh. I’d tried to speak to her a couple days prior, and I’d gotten the cold shoulder then too. She hadn’t softened toward me, and truthfully I didn’t know if she ever would. Our realities were different now.

It made me sad—the potential loss of a friend. They were hard to come by as I got older.

Velle never turned back to me, her braid swaying as she scrubbed the white smooth stone, and I felt a little guilty, slinking out the door in broad daylight while she was working. I stood on the front steps, eyeing the grand entrance, the sweeping stone staircase which rippled out from me, leading to a grand circular fountain. Starwood blooms made a ring around it.

Beyond that was the path to the village down the main road, and I took off on foot.

It didn’t take me long to reach the main square, though I’d taken my time meandering down the quiet path. It was a cool day, but I’d dressed warmly. I had a craving for a spiced tea, laden with sweet cream, and a fresh steam cake, and I went to a nearby shop, knowing they sold both.

Once, I never would’ve purchased something so frivolous and silly for myself. After Wrezaan’s, I had hoarded every credit I could. Even when I worked for Syndras, I kept a tight buckle on my credits. I’ve given a lot of my savings to Luc in Laras, knowing that he poured most of his into his merchant shop, which he still ran to this day.

It was only after coming to work for Kaldur, when I suddenly had a small padding of savings at my disposal, did I start to buy things for myself. A treat here and there. A new dress, but only if it was discounted at the shop because no one else would buy it. And yet to me, it seemed like a luxury.

The only thing I ever splurged on were notebooks and a steady supply of pencils. The special kind with highly pigmented charcoal that didn’t crumble even with a heavy hand.

I didn’t come into the village often, but now I made it a point to buy myself a small treat or a meal. I regretted the first time I’d tried the spiced tea…because I knew I wouldn’t be able to live without it. The aroma alone was enough to make my mouth water.

So when I bought it today, I felt a momentary pinch of guilt but told myself it was okay. Especially with the credits coming in from Kaldur as his blood giver. It would be more money than I’d ever seen in my life at once.

I tucked myself into a secluded bench on the very edge of the square, one where I’d be able to watch everyone coming and going without being in the way or noticed. It was shaded and cool now, but in an hour, the sun would be overhead and the stone would warm beneath me, so I let the hot tea and the steam cake heat me up for now.

After I polished off my breakfast cake, I took out my notebook, flipped to an empty page, and began to list out different things I saw. It was something I liked to do not only as an exercise for my writing but because I often loved to read them back over. Little snippets of people’s lives or visuals that struck me.

Thick curling ribbons of fog creeping over the Western mountains.

Two girls passing—a blonde human and a Kylorr with red eyes—giggling over a handsome Bartutian boy, who smiled at them.

The scent of cloves and sweet cream, beaconing and welcoming like a siren.

A clumsy-footed child who tripped on the cobblestones, his worried mother rushing over to calm his wails.

The harsh whip of the banner flags in the square like a thunder clap, the icy breeze on the back of my neck.

I saw Kaldur.

My breath hitched, my hand stilling over the soft parchment of my notebook.

Then I wrote A handsome Kylorr, with eyes like mirrors and a grin like my favorite dawn.

Even the mere sight of him made my heart race in anticipation, but for now I was content to study him as I sipped on my spiced tea. He wasn’t wearing what he’d worn last night, which brought a pinch of relief. He had come back to the keep last night…and yet he hadn’t come to me.

He was walking with a local shopkeeper, who’d apparently flagged him down. I thought the male was a clothier and owned the shop frequented by nobles. I’d never stepped foot inside—the prices were much too high for someone like me—but I had often admired the silks and sturdy linens in the window. The beautiful embellished ball gowns mixed with simple, but elegant, everyday wear made an interesting display. But there were two kinds of people: those who went inside the shop and those who admired from outside its gilded doors.

I’d always been a part of the latter group.

I watched as Kaldur smiled, placing his hand on the clothier’s shoulder and listening as he spoke. Even from afar, I was transfixed. Kaldur was the type of magnetic male that consumed one’s attention, the kind to draw gazes and keep them. I’d never met anyone with his pull before. My stomach fluttered because now I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that smile, of that rumbling voice and those mesmerizing eyes.

Another breeze swept through the square, making my hair flutter around my face, which I tried to brush back into place.

From the distance, I saw Kaldur’s head lift. Then he was looking straight at me, and I felt frozen, trapped within those eyes.

I watched him frown, his expression darkening briefly, before he turned abruptly back to the shopkeeper. He murmured something, which seemed to satisfy the clothier because he said his goodbyes and turned down the road back toward his shop.

Kaldur stood alone now and slowly turned to regard me. Hesitantly, I stood from the bench, tucking my notebook into my satchel, my cooling tea still clasped in one hand. When I made a step toward him, he shook his head, casting his gaze around the square, eyeing the milling nobles and citizens of Vyaan, many of whom were looking at him.

He gestured his head toward an alley between two shops that were closed today. There was a stiff pattering in my chest when I realized…when I realized he didn’t want me to approach him. Because he didn’t want to be seen with me?

That hurt more than I thought it did.

Don’t assume anything, I reminded myself. Maybe he had another reason for it. Slowly, I headed down the alleyway, seeing that it led to a small, private courtyard that both of the shops shared. I guessed the doors in the back were meant for delivering goods, further evidenced by the stack of empty crates piled up to one side of the deserted courtyard.

Since it was shaded, it was cold, the shop buildings blocking out the sun. To soothe my dry tongue, I took another sip of my tea while I waited, trying to ignore the hurt that was winding its way in my chest. I waited for a long time, long enough to wonder if I’d been mistaken, if he was even coming.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard a heavy stride clattering down the cobblestones.

Kaldur appeared, and he leaned against the wall of the building, regarding me after he cast an assessing view over his shoulder.

“Don’t want anyone to see us together?” I asked. It was meant to be a joke, but I was mortified when I heard the small tinge of hurt color the question.

He smiled, but it didn’t make me relax. There was an edge to it, one that amplified a hardened glint in his eyes.

“You would know no peace if I didn’t take precautions,” he finally answered. “The Vyaan people love their gossip, just like your keeper friends in my House.”

I didn’t know if I should feel stung or grateful by the admission.

“I didn’t expect to find you in the village today. Come to spend your stipend for the month?” he asked. “I wonder what will catch your eye…a vase perhaps?”

My brow furrowed. Something was wrong.

“Have I upset you?” I asked quietly, observing his expression carefully. His words seemed slightly mocking.

“Of course not,” he replied easily enough. He slid toward me, and when he placed his fingers beneath my chin, he tilted my head back. “Why would you ask that?”

“I don’t know—you seem…” I trailed off. Let it go, I thought. “Never mind.”

His other hand came to gently swipe under my eyes. “You look tired.”

“I was, um, waiting for you last night. I thought you wanted to feed when you returned, so I?—”

“I returned late and didn’t want to disturb you,” he said, cutting off my words. He released me. His body was close to me, but something told me he’d never been further away. I didn’t understand it.

“And how was your dinner?” I asked, wondering if something had happened there.

“Illuminating,” he answered, never taking his eyes off me.

He said nothing else. Merely watched me as I began to squirm under his perusal. It felt barbed, like he was dissecting me under that gaze. He hadn’t fed since yesterday morning…was that the reason for his strange mood?

“I waited for you this morning too,” I said softly, clutching the strap of my satchel.

“I’ll feed now,” came his guttural response, one that made my eyes widen, realizing we were in an abandoned courtyard but not that far away from the main bustling square. I could still hear the echo of footsteps and laughter and chatter, even tucked back here.

“Now?” I choked out. “Here?”

“Unless you’d rather not,” he murmured easily.

“No, it’s not that. It’s…”

“I have somewhere to be soon,” Kaldur replied. “I’ll be gone for a while.”

“Oh, I see.”

He smiled. “I’ll come to you another time. Let’s not?—”

“No,” I said quickly, reaching out to take his arm and bringing him back to him when he stepped away. “Now is fine.”

I didn’t know how to explain it, but he felt detached, like he was purposefully trying to keep me away. When all I wanted was to be close to him. And when he was feeding, that was when we always felt closest.

I was beginning to crave that feeling like a need. I felt protected, wanted, and safe in those moments. And how could I not when it was Kaldur?

He didn’t resist. I tilted my neck to the side for him, leaning back against the shop building wall. But then he shook his head. Before I could blink, he flipped me around, pressing me so that my palms were against the stone wall. I frowned, my lips parted to say something, but then I felt his hand tugging at my hair, exposing my neck.

The bite of his fangs came next, followed by the warmth of his feeding.

I couldn’t see him or touch him like this. Stone scraped into my palms as my nails curled. His grip on me was unyielding, keeping me easily in place. He held himself away from my back, far enough that I could feel the cold breeze between us.

This wasn’t like our usual feedings. This felt…clinical. Like I was only fulfilling a need, like I could be anybody to him.

So while the usual pleasure from the feeding was present…it didn’t leave me feeling warm or excited or needful.

And it was over much too soon. Kaldur retracted his fangs before healing the bite mark. When I frowned, turning to look over my shoulder at him, his nostrils flared at whatever he saw in my expression.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, pinching his brow as he backed away. “It’s not the time or place for this.”

I nodded, agreeing.

“I’m not of the right mind for this now,” he said before meeting my eyes. So something was wrong? I’d figured as much. “I have to leave for a few nights.”

“What?” I asked quickly, turning fully on shaking legs. “But why?”

“I’m needed in Salaire,” he answered. “You should know so you don’t wonder. I’ll be back in a few nights. I’ll come find you when I return.”

My lips parted. But after one last look, Kaldur was already turning away.

“Kaldur,” I said quickly.

He paused down the alley .

“Be safe, all right?” I told him.

His silver eyes peered at me carefully. “It’s not your place to worry about me, remember?”

The dismissive words made me draw in a sharp breath.

Then he was gone. And I felt confused and alone in that empty courtyard. The last of my tea, I saw, had spilled all over the ground.

A waste, I thought, feeling tears spring to my eyes. But they had nothing to do with the tea at all.