Page 25 of Hunger in His Blood (Brides of the Kylorr #3)

CHAPTER 25

KALDUR

I woke with the beast inside me rumbling.

Judging by the light seeping through the windows, I guessed it was midday. I’d stumbled into bed in the early hours of morning, shortly before dawn. I’d barely slept since my return from Salaire, consumed with my thoughts of Erina and ignoring an odd sensation of warning in my gut.

The moment I’d hit my bed, I’d been lost to the world. I felt refreshed, the sleep much needed, but my head felt heavy. I’d become so used to regular feedings from my kyrana that if I went without, I felt weakened and aching. It was part of the bond, I reasoned. It made one more dependent on their mate, a biological impulse to remain close.

I got dressed slowly, remembering Erina’s confrontation last night in my study.

Tread carefully, a voice warned silently. Or you’ll lose her.

Just as I was addicted to her. Just when I’d discovered that she loved another.

Another female hell-bent on using me for my family name. For my wealth. And it stung all the more because it was my kyrana this time .

Even still…I’d wanted to hurt her last night.

It should fill me with relief to know she had someone else. All I’d wanted, after all, was to keep her at a distance until I figured out how to navigate this unfortunate pairing. Until after the completion of the South Road, perhaps, and we had a war bond in place with the Kaazor to the north. At least then, my territory would be more secure, more capable of withstanding a new scandal.

But instead, knowing she loved another filled me with rage, with jealousy that seared itself into my very bones because I knew that she would never be mine alone.

And I wanted to hurt her because of it. I wanted her to feel what I felt.

That was why I’d done what I’d done, I reasoned. If she wanted to use me for my wealth, then I would use her for her blood. But I wanted her to know that I knew about Luc Denoren—her mate of choice. My pride demanded it.

I’d misjudged her, but perhaps her friend, Velle, had been right. Perhaps she wasn’t as innocent and kindhearted as I’d thought. Perhaps she’d been calculating and plotting this since the very beginning.

I needed to wrap my head around that before I saw her again. I needed to compartmentalize this Erina with the one that I’d spent that night in the library with—the one whose joy of the landscape projections had been infectious, the one who’d been content to simply be with me in her hand-me-down nightdress, the one who I’d been able to drop my guard around. Or, as she called it, my mask.

I would need to mourn the loss of that female, the one who made me want to throw caution away and disregard whatever the nobles said about her.

Because, briefly, I’d thought I could be happy with her .

She’d been so different from any female I’d known. Tittering, practiced females, who’d learned from a young age to be clever. Every interaction with them had felt like a game, and I’d always been on edge anticipating their next move. I could never relax because they’d always wanted something from me.

Erina had been simple. Comforting. Genuine.

And I’d been so wrong about her.

She’d been just like all the rest.

After I dressed, I went to my study, locking myself in for hours trying to distract myself. Maudoric came in once to deliver a tray of food I wasn’t hungry for. She looked worried when she glanced over at me, her brows furrowed, her lips pressed together.

“What?” I asked, the word snapping from me.

She merely shook her head and then retreated from my harsh mood. I didn’t see her again until night came.

When the knock came on my door and she stepped in, I looked up blearily. My eyes felt tight in their sockets, my wings cramped. I needed to stretch or perhaps take a long flight to get my blood pumping.

“What?” I asked, gentling my tone this time though I was still in a foul mood. If not fouler.

Maudoric stepped up to my desk. No food or deliveries in her hands, which was what she usually ventured up here for.

“There’s talk in the kitchens,” she informed me.

My jaw gritted. I didn’t need to be bothered with idle gossip, but then I realized that Maudoric wouldn’t come to me unless it was serious.

“About?” I prompted, my gaze flickering back to the export approvals.

“The keepers are saying that Erina left this morning.”

I froze. Then frowned.

Swiftly, my gaze flicked to Maudoric. “What do you mean ‘left’?”

“She had her traveling bag with her,” Maudoric said quietly, staying completely still. She was the only one in the keep who knew for certain that Erina was my kyrana . I’d never been able to keep anything from Maudoric. She was the only one I trusted with the knowledge. “I checked her quarters, and most of her possessions are gone. I’ve been searching for her for the last couple hours. I had the gardens swept and the keep searched. She’s not here.”

I stood from my desk, tension beginning to strum through me, that familiar rumbling that I’d woken with returning in full force.

“Then check again,” I ordered. “In the village. Everywhere. She’s here. She has to be. She wouldn’t leave. Especially since…”

I didn’t want to voice it out loud.

Especially since she wants what I can give her.

“Kaldur,” Maudoric said, “I don’t think you’re going to find her in the keep. I came to you now because I just got an alert that your payment to her was rejected. It processed back into your accounts. I asked the creditory, and they said it was patched through early this morning in the village.”

I paced alongside my desk.

“No, that can’t be right. Check again,” I said. “She needs the money. She wouldn’t have given it back. That was her whole reason for agreeing to our arrangement.”

“I’m telling you, she rejected it,” Maudoric pressed. The look in her eyes was one of sympathy. And worry , especially when I saw her picking at the skin around her claws, a nervous habit she tried to hide. “I think you need to send out scouts to look for her. She’s not here. I wanted to be certain before…”

Was this why she’d worried earlier?

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Panic began to rise, but I pushed it down.

“All right,” I said, keeping my voice even. “Have the village searched. I want to speak with whoever saw her this morning.”

“Velle,” Maudoric supplied .

Of course.

“Where is she?” I asked, already on my way toward my study door. I was in denial. She couldn’t be gone. She wouldn’t leave. Surely.

You gave her no reason to stay, a voice whispered in my head.

Last night she’d overheard me with Lydrasa. And when she’d come to confront me about it in the dead of night, I’d denied nothing because I had wanted to hurt her.

Keep your credits. I don’t want them, she’d told me. I’d brushed aside the words, thinking that she was being unnecessarily dramatic to get her way.

Now? I wasn’t so sure. I went over every detail of what she’d said. I remembered everything I’d said—and a lot of it was ugly.

“Send out scouts now,” I repeated to Maudoric. “I want her found. Tonight. ”

But that sense of foreboding warning still lingered. It had never left me today.

Now I knew why.

Four hours later, I was drinking and smoking lore by the fire, nursing a tumbler even though I wanted to chug down an entire bottle of Kyne liquor. Anything to dull the restless anger that made me feel like I was on the precipice of a berserker rage.

I’d never been so close before. That fear itself kept my rooted in place, when all I wanted to do was fly over every inch of Vyaan.

Maudoric herself had shoved a lore pipe into my hand to keep me calm, worried I’d wreck the entire keep. I’d nearly torn it apart looking for Erina. I’d had the grounds searched three times. Every nook and cranny of the village. Every tavern and inn that offered beds. I’d even had the dyaans , the blood-giver establishments, questioned. I’d gone myself to all the old Houses Erina had been a keeper at, asking the nobles if they’d seen or heard from her.

Syndras of House Terasyn, who she’d been closest to, was out of the territory, so I knew she wouldn’t have gone there…but it hadn’t stopped me from journeying to Syndras’s daugther’s home and asking regardless.

“I know where you are,” I murmured, taking another drag on my lore pipe, holding my breath before slowly releasing it. I’d need to be smoking constantly, or else I would go into a rage.

Because I knew she’d gone to him . Luc Denoren. There had been multiple caravans throughout the day that had departed for Laras, though each one had different stops along the way and arrived into the capital on separate days. It didn’t stop me from sending out scouts after each one of them, to try to track them down. Short of stopping every caravan they came across, however, I didn’t think they would find her. Even still, I’d sent them on to Laras. They would intercept the traveling parties on the other side.

You can’t keep her if she doesn’t want to be kept, I thought, gritting my jaw. How the nobles would gossip and whisper about me if they found out I abducted a human female in broad daylight from Laras and had her chained to my bed in the keep.

That would actually give them something good to talk about for the coming months.

I drained the contents of my tumbler, refilling it back up from the crystal bottle on the small table beside me.

She was gone. She’d left of her own accord. I’d misjudged her own pride.

And strangely enough, despite everything I’d thought she wanted, despite everything I could offer her…I didn’t think she wanted to be found.

In the quiet of my own quarters, half-drunk on Kyne liquor, my berserker beast calmed by lore , I could admit that that scared me most of all.