Page 38 of House of the Beast

But sure enough, one by one, each vessel emerged from behind the doors again, hair still slightly damp, aglow with triumph and relief.

Every time the doors opened, the muffled sound of applause reverberated through the glass and drifted dimly into the antechamber—and every time it happened, I found my nerves growing more frazzled.

Relax , I told myself. Aster would not let me down.

He would not.

The clergyman called us in by Houses—first Goldmercy, then the Church, then House Metia, and finally it was just us three of House Avera left.

Tense silence hung between us. I wondered if my father wished to accost me again, perhaps with more petitions for my cooperation, or simply just to scold me—but thankfully he seemed reluctant to do so in the company of Kaim.

He only kept a stony countenance as he waited his turn.

I prayed that he would go next so that we would not be left alone.

At least Kaim would never voluntarily speak to me.

The locks spun and clicked again, the doors slithering open to let Lynel Metia back in.

His young face held more relief than triumph.

His hands slightly shook as he wiped the water off his face.

He caught my eye and jumped a little, as if ashamed to be looking at me, then gave me a sheepish smile before hurrying toward the second set of doors, ready to rejoin the banquet.

“Lord Zander Avera,” called the clergyman. “Please proceed to your ceremony of initiation.” Then, with another bow, “May the blessings of the Four be with you.”

I glanced at my father, curious if there would be any sign of nerves in his expression. No such luck. He maintained a smooth confidence as he followed the knights through the doors.

So far, all the vessels had succeeded in their test of faith.

But what of him? Aster had told me, all those years ago, that he had found my father unfit to claim the title of First Hand.

Did that mean he would not be protected here?

It would be an embarrassing end for him—but somehow I suspected that he would pass, just as all the others had.

He was to be my obstacle, one for me to overcome before I was considered worthy to lead House Avera.

Then a terrible thought crossed my mind: What if I were the only one who failed? In front of all those people, who had already witnessed the success of everyone else before me?

The idea was so awful I shook my head as if to dislodge it, drawing a curious glance from the court clergyman. I ignored him.

It would not come to that, I assured myself. My connection to Aster was stronger than ever. I had harbored the same worry before my first trial and came out of that triumphant.

My elder god would not abandon me.

Someone planted himself in the seat next to me, interrupting my thoughts. Someone tall, with black hair and black clothes. Kaim.

I stared at him. My cousin had never approached me like this before. Was he nervous? Did he want to talk?

After a moment he said, “Don’t go near Fion again.”

His voice was loud in the quiet antechamber. He was determinedly not looking at me, his glower directed instead at the opposite wall. Of course, I thought, he would come only to dole out threats and warnings.

“He was the one who approached me,” I said.

“I don’t care,” said my cousin shortly. “Don’t speak to him.”

“What about Sevelie?”

He squinted down at me, genuinely confused. “What about her?”

I thought back to the vulnerability in his voice as he had spoken to Fion alone, the way he had leaned in close.

Sevelie’s words about Kaim having already given his affections to someone else echoed in my mind.

“You don’t want me to so much as speak to Fion, but you take no issue with me living in Sevelie’s home? ” I asked, unable to help myself.

“She is free to do whatever she likes.”

A hint of indignance spiked in me. “And Fion isn’t?”

“Fion is my aide,” said Kaim, his voice nearly a growl. “He is bound to me, and his power is mine to use. I don’t need you giving him any ideas.”

“Have you ever wondered why he wants to get away from you so badly?” I asked disbelievingly. “Maybe it’s because you’re such a controlling piece of—”

“I know ,” my cousin spat, stunning me into silence.

I would have never expected my cousin to admit to any faults.

He paused, clearly struggling with his words, before saying, “I’m not a fool.

I understand what it looks like. I only need him to hang on a little longer.

My father is not well. Surely you’ve figured this out by now.

I’m trying to honor him, to be someone who will live up to his expectations.

Once I’m First Hand, things will be different.

If you care about Fion at all, consider making all our lives easier and walking away from this Pilgrimage.

” He turned to me then, face grudging but determined.

“Or... if it’s revenge you crave, I’ll accept you into my retinue.

Help me win against your father. You won’t become First Hand, but you’ll serve the Beast and see your vengeance paid. ”

I blinked. With all that time Kaim had spent either antagonizing or stubbornly ignoring me, I hadn’t expected this level of perceptiveness from him.

Or perhaps he had learned about my situation from Fion, who watched me closely whenever we had a chance to interact.

Regardless, I was not prepared for being extended such an offer from Kaim.

For a moment, I found myself contemplating it.

What would happen if I were to announce an alliance with my cousin and help him to victory?

My father would be equally denied his desire.

I wanted the title of First Hand, but perhaps I could settle for this.

I could learn to be happy, finally accepted into the House that raised me, fulfilling my duty as a vessel of the Dread Beast. Perhaps Kaim and I would even learn to tolerate each other.

It was a peaceful dream.

But it was not the dream I had spent so long working for.

“I can’t,” I answered, though I tried to say it kindly.

Kaim had just opened up to me—briefly, and clearly reluctantly, but he had expressed a side of himself I had never expected to see from the hateful boy who had driven me away from Master Vuong’s classroom all those years ago.

“I’m sorry,” I continued, surprised to find myself actually meaning it.

“I have my own goals. I can’t give them up now. ”

“Then we will face each other as enemies,” said Kaim, without much emotion. He’d likely expected me to refuse him. He rose from his seat—and that, it seemed, was the end of that.

The doors hummed and out stepped my father, practically reeking of satisfaction. The sound of applause from the banquet hall reverberated through glass into the great chamber behind him.

“Lord Kaim Avera,” announced the clergyman. “Please proceed to your ceremony of initiation. May the blessings of the Four be with you.”

If I had expected some sort of farewell from Kaim, I would have been disappointed. He did not even look my way as he strode confidently through the doors, the knights following to make sure that if he failed, they would be ready to cut him down.

I already knew he would not.

That left my father and me alone, discounting the clergyman and the knights standing guard. He approached me now, his expression turning more subdued.

“Last chance, Daughter,” he said quietly. “You can’t say I haven’t given you ample opportunity to repent.”

I stubbornly met his gaze, and for a moment, we simply stared each other down.

“You’ve never been happy with my prowess with the sword, or my education, or even the way I sit or stand,” I said, refusing to let my voice waver as I dug up old hurts. “I have always been a burden to you.”

“And yet, you are also my blood,” answered my father.

“It is dangerous in the umbral plane. You will face not only the terrors but everyone within hoping to seek glory for themselves. Once we are through that gate, the rules of Sorrowsend disappear. Neighbors will become enemies; vessels will stab each other in the back. No matter your faults, I have never wished to see you suffer at the hands of another.”

It was a surprising show of sincerity—and one that might have been convincing if he had said this eight years ago.

If, in all that time I had spent plotting his downfall, he had expressed one ounce of regret for taking me from my mother or one ounce of care for my well-being as he molded me into the perfect weapon, maybe things could have been different.

Instead, he had waited until now, when it was only useful for him to do so. When it was already too late.

“I appreciate the concern,” I said. “But I can take care of myself. I have the Beast’s protection.”

His eyes narrowed. “You truly believe this. Fine—if you want to become First Hand so badly, I will even grant this to you. Once I have triumphed in the Pilgrimage, I will name you my heir and you will get to serve your beloved Beast in time.”

The thought of asking his blessing for something Aster had already granted to me was laughable.

“I don’t need your permission,” I said. “I will take it for myself. The way you never could.”

His eyes widened, a vein pulsing above his brow, and his mouth went into a tight line.

He started forward, and for a moment I was certain he would slap me for my insolence.

But after a beat, he only turned on his heel and left.

It seemed even my father had the decorum not to berate me in front of a member of the court.

Or perhaps he simply realized his appeals were pointless.

The doors to the banquet hall shut behind him with a decisive slam.

It was just me left.

Time seemed to slow. The antechamber was completely silent, with not even the ticking of a clock to help me keep track of time.

It felt as though I had sat in that room for an age—yet when the doors opened again to let Kaim back through, untouched by the terrors, with his black hair sticking slightly to his forehead from the umbral water, I still felt unprepared.

“Lady Alma Avera,” announced the clergyman. “Please proceed to your ceremony of initiation. May the blessings of the Four be with you.”