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Chapter twenty-three

Griffin

I ’ve dated a fair amount. I’ve kissed a reasonable number of women. But Danae’s lips against mine make me think that I have never truly kissed a woman before. Because this is a completely different feeling, possessing every part of my mind, body, and heart.

Maybe it’s the way that Danae is melting into me when I know she’s naturally reserved. Maybe it’s the way her kiss is unhesitating when I know she wrestles with anxiety. The thought that I could make her feel that way, make her kiss that way—it’s intoxicating.

She is intoxicating.

The sweetness of the syrup she slathered over her waffles at dinner lingers on her lips, her tongue. Paired with the natural sweetness of who she is, I’ll be on a sugar high for days.

Danae slowly slides her fingers along my beard, and I’ve never been more thankful to have facial hair. I’m lost in every sensation of her when the tiny voice of reason in my brain tries to speak up.

You still have another joker .

I try to ignore the little jerk, but his insistence grows louder, unrelenting until I finally break away from Danae’s lips. The waves of her hair are disheveled by my hands. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to resist weaving my fingers back through her hair and resuming our kiss .

“There’s something else I need to tell you, Danae,” I say. “Something else I don’t like telling other people.” Her eyes were foggy with the intoxication of our kiss, but they suddenly clear as she pulls further away from me.

“What?” she asks, voice hardly more than a whisper.

“You explained why you don’t like baseball—which is my favorite thing in the world. It’s only fair that I explain why I don’t like reading—your favorite thing in the world,” I say, and the fear evaporates from her demeanor.

“Okay,” she says, then quiets.

I gently tap my fist on the counter next to her. “I’m dyslexic.”

Her eyes immediately flicker with understanding, then bounce back and forth between mine like she’s putting pieces into place. “Oh,” she says. “That’s why you said you use voice-to-text a lot. And it’s why you chose eleven as your number for the Crowns, isn’t it?”

I nod. “Looks the same no matter which way you look at it. Specifically, I deal with vertical dyslexia, and I don’t struggle nearly as much as some people do.

But it was much harder to get a dyslexia diagnosis back when we were kids.

I wasn’t officially diagnosed until I was an adult, and I still get embarrassed when people find out,” I say.

Danae nods in understanding again. “Growing up, I thought I was just dumb. I hated books because I felt like a failure when I tried to read, and I’m not fond of feeling like a failure. ”

Danae’s lips quirk to one side in response to my statement, which tempts me to stop talking and go back to exploring those lips.

But my wandering thoughts are reined in by her next question.

“They’ve made a lot of progress in recent years at making books available in dyslexia-friendly fonts. Have you seen those?”

I shake my head. “I use a dyslexia app on my phone to help with text messages and what-not when I can’t use voice text. But I haven’t really tried reading books with the updated fonts.”

She considers my answer before asking her next question. “Have you tried listening to audiobooks?”

I shrug. “Once. But they’ve really only become widely popular in the past few years, and I was already hooked on podcasts by that point. I guess I’d rather listen to someone share about their own experience than some narrator reading a made-up story.”

Danae’s face scrunches, and I can see the thoughts running rampant in her mind. “You might enjoy memoirs then. Especially ones narrated by the author. There are a few—”

Placing a finger on her lips to cut her off, I say, “Us working out cannot be contingent upon you changing my mind about books.”

Her eyes spark as she smiles smugly at me. “Touché.” The smirk disappears as she asks, “How are we going to coexist when we despise each other’s greatest passions?”

“In case I haven’t made this clear, I’m not interested in merely coexisting with you, Danae,” I say, tucking the hair behind her ear.

“And I think I’m interested in having a greatest passion other than baseball.

” I lean in close before adding, “So we’re going to figure this out. No matter what it takes.”

The magnetism between us takes over, drawing our lips wordlessly back to each other.

After walking Danae and Jason out to her car, I come back inside to an interrogation. “Sooo, how was it?” Sam asks, eyes sparkling. “Obviously I need to know everything.”

“It was good,” I say, walking past Sam.

“By the looks of your hair, I’d say it was more than good,” Sam replies.

I freeze and resist the urge to smooth down my hair. I’d already smoothed it down in preparation for Sam and Jason’s return. Is she just messing with me?

Sam sashays by and taps the back of my head, where the longer hair of my faux hawk ends. “You missed a spot,” she says with a smirk.

I can’t help it. I reach a hand up to rub the back of my head. Sure enough, I find the piece that was sticking up out of place. The memory of Danae’s fingers there starts to heat my blood again, so I turn toward the kitchen. “You’re so juvenile,” I call over my shoulder.

“It’s not my fault my maturity was stunted by childhood trauma,” Sam quips, halting my steps. I turn to face her. She looks like she’s joking, but I know that the jokes are sometimes real and sometimes covering a struggle underneath.

“Is being around Jason bringing up memories?” I ask quietly.

Sam shrugs. “A little. But not in a terrible way.”

I move toward Sam. “I can find another babysitting solution for when I want to take Danae on a date. You don’t have to keep doing it.”

“No way! You’re not taking my guy from me!

I love that kid,” Sam says. “And I like that I can be there for him. Not that he’s opening up about deep things a lot—he’s too young and it’s all still too fresh for him to actively process his experiences.

But I understand the small comments he makes and feel like I’m somewhat equipped to know how to respond.

Like Danae has another person in her corner supporting Jason’s journey.

That makes me feel good, like I’m doing something good with my life. ”

I place my hands on Sam’s shoulders and bend my knees to meet her eyes.

“You’re doing a lot of good with your life, sis.

That kid is so lucky to have you as someone to look up to.

I’m lucky to have you supporting me in my career and every aspect of my life.

Danae is lucky to have your support. But I want you to be honest if you ever reach your limit, okay? ”

“Deal,” Sam says, and I pull her into a hug. “But only if you tell me about kissing Danae.”

“You’re fired,” I joke as I playfully push her away from me. She raises one eyebrow.

“I am not giving you details. I’ll just say, I hope it was the last first kiss of my life. And it would be a last first kiss of epic proportions.”