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Chapter thirteen

Danae

K ara nearly screams but manages to rein herself in.

We’re sitting in her music room eating lunch, and I filled her in on Griffin’s date request last night.

I feel guilty taking up our forty-five minutes of lunch to talk instead of letting her work on lesson plans, but my conversation with Griffin is eating me alive.

“Ron is going to lose his mind when he finds out you’re going on a date with Griffin West,” Kara states.

“You’re not telling Ron anything yet because I haven’t even decided if I’m going to say yes or no,” I say, narrowing my eyes at her. “You’re still sworn to secrecy.”

“Look, Danae, I know you don’t like baseball—” Kara begins.

I cut in, “ Loathe baseball.”

She rolls her eyes. “Okay, you loathe baseball, but you shouldn’t let your prejudice stop you from saying yes to a date with a perfectly agreeable guy.”

Now I roll my eyes. “This is not a Pride and Prejudice situation, Kara. Prejudice has nothing to do with my hesitation about dating Griffin.”

“Oh, so you mean it’s not prejudice to automatically write him off because he’s an athlete? Or because he probably has some level of wealth? That sounds like prejudice to me, Miss Judgy-Pants,” Kara says .

I reluctantly admit, “Fine. Maybe I have a couple of negative gut reactions to his . . . station in life. But it’s not only that.

He flat-out told me that the reason he was asking me on a date is because his life is too hectic to spend time as friends first. Because he’ll be leaving soon for like two months!

And we both know how chaotic baseball schedules are.

Plus, I saw firsthand how much attention he gets out in public—and that was just a tiny bookstore!

I’m not sure I can handle that kind of circus.

Especially not after welcoming Jason into my life so recently. ”

Kara stares at me.

“What?” I ask.

“I’m not saying those are invalid rationalizations. But it sounds like you’re working really hard to list out every possible negative thing about Griffin. Which makes me think there are some positives that you’re attracted to but aren’t admitting,” she says.

All the clear polish is gone from my index finger, so I move my thumb to my ring finger. I shrug, not making eye contact.

“What are the positives, Danae? I know you made a list last night. Tell me what they are,” Kara demands before taking a bite of her sandwich. When I don’t answer right away, she adds, “I don’t mean to rush you, but we are down to fifteen minutes. So, I am rushing you.”

I sigh. “He has this very magnetic quality to him. Not like he’s trying to be charming in a false way.

More like . . . he makes you feel as though he genuinely enjoys talking with you.

Like he really, truly wants to hear the answers to the questions he asks because you’re so interesting.

And, of course, the fact that he does this camp for kids in foster care every year shows a certain level of understanding he has for my situation.

I can sense it in the way he talks to me about Jason.

I’m sure that his understanding comes from Samantha and her younger brother joining his family through adoption.

He has personal experience with the foster system, even if it’s not exactly the same as my experience. ”

When I pause, Kara motions for me to continue. “Go on. I can tell there’s more.”

“I like the way he interacts with other people, at least what I’ve seen so far.

He is precious with Jason. And he handled the ladies at my book club so kindly when they mobbed him.

It’s obvious that he and Samantha have a close connection, and even watching him interact with that other teammate was endearing. ”

“Wait, what other teammate? Who else did you meet?” Kara asks.

“Um, I don’t remember who he was. He said something in Spanish while we were talking to Samantha. Maybe Andrés or something?” I say.

Kara holds her hands up in disbelief. “You got to meet Adrian Ortiz too? The Crowns' star third baseman? Ortiz and West are the baseball world’s favorite duo! Even non-Kansas City fans love them! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this!”

I huff. “Kara. I do not pay attention to baseball. I didn’t even know who Griffin was, remember?”

Kara rubs her temples. “I know, I know. I just cannot believe you. I’m sorry, back to what you were saying. What else was in the ‘pro’ column of the list?”

Blowing out a breath, I add, “He drives a Jeep.”

“Huh?” Kara questions.

“A Jeep. I followed him out the night he drove me to book club, expecting a flashy car. But he drives a totally mid-range black Jeep. Said he dreamed of owning a Jeep as a teenager, and now that’s what he drives,” I say.

Kara tilts her head in confusion, so I clarify.

“It’s not what I expected. I’m used to ostentatious displays of wealth and status from people with means. He pleasantly surprised me.”

“Elizabeth sees past the outward wealth to the inner Darcy,” Kara says, eyes twinkling. I smack her arm, though there’s no real malice in the gesture.

“So, what are you going to do?” she asks.

“I don’t know,” I reply. “This might be the worst timing ever. I’m still figuring out how to be a single mom with a precious boy who’s been through a lot. Would it be crazy and selfish of me to consider dating anyone right now? It seems a little crazy and selfish.”

“Or, maybe this is the perfect timing for you to have someone in your life who understands your experience and can be there supporting you. Maybe even loving you,” Kara says, voice serious. “You don’t have to say yes, Danae. But don’t say no just because you’re afraid, okay?”

I’ve spent four solid days thinking about Griffin West.

Sure, Jason and I had a fun weekend together.

Kansas gave us a random sixty-degree day on Saturday, so we went to the park and played for hours.

We made chicken chili together the next day when the temperature dropped back down to twenty.

We popped popcorn and watched a movie before reading another chapter of Harry Potter before bed.

But Griffin’s face was never far from my mind’s eye.

I’ve examined every facet of this choice ten times over.

I could recite three sub-points beneath each pro and con on my mental (and physical) list. Pretty sure I could win first place with either side of the argument if “Should Danae go on a date with Griffin?” was the question posed at a debate tournament.

Yet, overanalyzing has brought me no closer to an actual decision.

The question boils down to two opposing facts.

I feel safe with Griffin as a person and want to date him.

But his career feels risky for my emotional wellbeing—which makes me think I should stay far away. How do I choose? Heart or logic?

It’s Tuesday evening, and I’m browning some ground beef for tacos. I hear Jason playing with his Lego set in the living room, which reminds me of his duel battle with Samantha. Which makes me think of Griffin, yet again.

Calling Jason over to the kitchen, I help him assemble tacos before making my own. Once seated at the table, I decide it’s time to broach the topic with the other person whose life this decision would impact most.

“Hey, Jason, I have something I need to ask you about,” I say.

Jason freezes, taco halfway to his mouth.

“Sorry, I made that sound too serious,” I quickly clarify. “There’s something I’d like to get your opinion on.” He visibly relaxes and takes a bite of his taco, waiting for me to continue. “You know how we’ve talked with Samantha and Mr. Griffin a few times now?”

Jason’s eyes light up as he vigorously nods. “Is Sammi coming back to babysit again soon?” he asks.

“Maybe,” I say. “Here’s the thing—Mr. Griffin asked me last week if I would maybe want to go out to dinner with him sometime, just the two of us.”

“Mr. Griffin wants to go on a date with you?” Jason clarifies. When I nod, he says, “Cool! Can Sammi come over to babysit while you go on your date?”

I laugh. “I’m sure she could if I decide to say yes. Would it bother you if I go out on a date with Mr. Griffin?”

Jason’s face screws up in confusion, and I fight to not laugh at his adorable expression.

“Why would it bother me? Mr. Griffin is the coolest! I mean, he’s the best shortstop in all of baseball—well, okay, maybe not the number-one best, but don’t tell him I said that.

There are a lot of good shortstops right now.

He’s still one of the best. But he’s definitely the nicest one—you can tell him I said that. ”

His stream-of-consciousness speech brings a smile to my face.

“He is really nice. I just want to make sure that you would be okay with me going on a date with someone. It wouldn’t mean that I care about you any less, or that I’m not going to spend special time with you still,” I say, carefully observing Jason’s face for his reaction.

“Oh, I know that. You care about me the most,” Jason declares with confidence. “But can Sammi babysit? Will you ask her? Tell Mr. Griffin you’ll only go on a date if Sammi comes over.” He takes another giant bite of his taco, clearly finished sharing any opinions about my dating life.

Well, Jason certainly seems okay with the idea. Which takes his reaction out of the “con” column. Is this a sign I should say yes? Or am I putting too much stock in a nine-year-old’s opinion?

As Jason begins chattering about everything that transpired in the Gaga Ball pit at recess today, I force my thoughts to tune out Griffin and truly listen. I’ve learned a different side of the school dynamic over the past month listening to Jason recap his days .

When I tuck Jason into bed a couple of hours later, he gives me an extra-long hug.

“Miss Danae? I really like Mr. Griffin. I think it would be cool if you like him too,” he says, voice so sweet and sincere.

I take a moment to study the freckles splattered across his nose and cheeks, his green eyes made even more vibrant by the contrast of his orange-red hair.

“I do kinda like him,” I say with a small smile. “I guess I need to figure out if I really like him or not.” Jason grins at me before I give him one more hug. “Goodnight, Jason. And no matter what happens with Mr. Griffin, I’m with you one hundred percent, forever.”

“G’night!”

Closing his door, I pause in the hallway. I do kinda like him .

I head downstairs and find my phone. Pulling up Griffin’s name in my contacts, my thumb hovers over the call button. Smiling to myself, I hit the message icon instead.

ME

We need to talk.

I have no idea what Griffin’s schedule is like. Does he do baseball training stuff in the evenings or only during the daytime hours? Or could he be out with his teammates or friends? Is the offseason their time to live it up? It’s possible he may not even text me back until tomorrow.

My phone starts ringing in my hand, causing me to jump. I fight a smile when I see Griffin’s name lighting up the screen.

“I expected you to just text back,” I say, unable to keep the smile out of my voice.

“Nope. I need to hear your voice when you either give me wings or crush my dreams,” Griffin says with a lighthearted tone.

I laugh. “That seems a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

“Maybe so,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Or maybe it’s exactly accurate. So, what’s it gonna be? Am I getting celebratory or self-pity ice cream tonight?”

His playfulness serves to bolster my confidence in my decision.

“Yes. I’ll go on a date with you.”