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Chapter eleven

Danae

G lancing at the clock, I see that I have twenty-five minutes until the first class will come to library. My library aide is still helping clean up breakfast in the cafeteria, so I have a few moments alone.

Moments I should be using to update my substitute lesson plan binder or to make copies for next week or to write a to-do list for all of the spring library activities.

This is my busiest season, between the special reading week activities I plan each year, as well as conducting the Battle of the Books competition for the fourth and fifth graders.

Throughout the school year, teams of students read twenty books selected by librarians across our district, taking notes about them.

In the spring, I conduct a tournament of battles between teams to see who can correctly answer the most questions about the books.

That is what I should be spending this free time doing—getting ahead on battle preparation.

Instead, I walk back to the storage space attached to the library and lean against a counter, staring into space. Thinking about Griffin West.

Last night threw me for possibly the biggest loop I’ve ever experienced. And that’s saying something, considering I recently became a single mother with very little advance notice. Somehow, Griffin’s presence in my life is more disconcerting than Jason’s presence.

After an hour of lying wide awake in bed, I'd finally succumbed to my taunting curiosity and looked him up online. I didn’t fully fall down the rabbit hole, but I read enough (and clicked through enough photos) to outline the basic gist of his life.

He grew up all over during his elementary years before his family settled in Oklahoma.

He played baseball for a college in Texas for three years before he was drafted by the Crowns.

He eventually became a darling of Kansas City sports fans due to his athletic success and all-around “great guy” reputation.

His good looks don’t hurt him on the popularity front, either.

Apparently, kids all over the city ask their barbers for “The Wizard” cut with the faded sides and longer hair in the middle that makes Griffin’s hairstyle stand out so much.

Call me an ostrich because my head was deep in the oblivion sand when it came to Griffin West’s existence.

Now, my head has been forcefully wrenched out of that sand.

But Griffin is the exact opposite of everything I want. I like stability and security. I like solid plans with little disruption. I like to assess every possibility and plan for everything.

I do not like baseball.

So why can’t I stop thinking about him?

“Earth to Danae!” Kara’s voice jerks me out of my reverie. She walks over and leans a hand against the counter next to me. “What’s got you off in la-la land? Something with Jason?”

I shake my head. “No, Jason’s fine.”

“But there is something on your mind,” Kara observes. She glances at her watch. “We have sixteen minutes until the first classes rotate to our rooms. Spill.”

My thumb is working overtime picking off the clear polish on my fingernails as I debate whether to clue Kara in to my new friendship with Griffin. Should I even call it a friendship? Acquaintanceship?

Kara grabs my thumb and yanks my hand up like evidence. “Spill,” she reiterates.

Sighing, I cover my face with my hands. “Swear you won’t breathe a word about this to anyone else,” I say, peeking out between my fingers.

She holds a hand up. “Of course, I swear.”

“Not even Ron. Especially not Ron,” I clarify. Her husband is a huge sports fanatic .

Kara pouts momentarily but agrees. I blow out a breath. “So, you remember the baseball camp that Jason got to participate in—the one organized by Griffin West?”

“Of course, I remember,” Kara says. “Your new son getting to meet members of the Crowns baseball team isn’t exactly a forgettable detail. Or Griffin West’s sister becoming your new babysitter.”

My thumb resumes fidgeting with my nails. “Well, Jason and I have really connected with Samantha, Griffin’s younger sister. Turns out she joined Griffin’s family through adoption because his parents fostered kids for several years.”

Kara nods. “Ohhhh, that makes a lot of sense why he would host a camp for kids in foster care.”

“Exactly. And Samantha understands firsthand some of what the kids might be experiencing. As you know, she offered to start babysitting Jason whenever I needed some time to myself. She came over last night to stay with him while I went to book club,” I explain.

“That’s great! Why would you be acting broody about that?” Kara asks.

“Well . . . when I say we connected with Samantha, I guess it might be more accurate to say we connected with Samantha . . . and Griffin.”

Kara’s eyes widen dramatically. “Danae, you know Griffin West?!” Her voice started out hushed but grew in strength and pitch. I shush her.

“Be quiet, or I won’t tell you the rest!” I admonish. She mimes zipping her lips, so I fill her in on last night’s events.

After dramatically unzipping her lips, Kara loudly whispers, “You rode in a car with Griffin West and weren’t going to tell me?! I thought you were my best friend!”

I roll my eyes. “You are my best friend, but I’m still trying to process all this new information. After I was already processing a lot of new information with Jason moving in.”

“What’s he like? Is he as charming in person as he seems to be?” Kara asks.

“I mean, I didn’t even know who he was the first time I met him”—Kara closes her eyes and shakes her head at this—“so I can’t say I’m the authority on whether he matches his public image.

But charming might not be exactly the right term.

It’s not charm just for show. He’s . . .

well, he’s . . .” I feel my cheeks heat as I trail off, searching for the right word.

A grin spreads across Kara’s face. “You have a crush on Griffin West!” she squeaks.

“Kara! Stop it! Crushes are for teenagers—I do not have a crush,” I say. Kara side eyes me. “I just . . . I keep thinking about him. And I’d like it to stop.”

“Danae Collins, only you could be friends with Griffin West and wish you could stop thinking about him,” Kara says with an exasperated expression.

“We’re not friends—more like acquaintances,” I try to justify. Kara shoots me a look. “Okay, fine, I guess we’re a level up from acquaintances.”

“Why are you so averse to thinking about him? If I wasn’t happily married, I would happily spend time thinking about Griffin West,” Kara says. “Especially if I had even the slimmest of chances with him.”

“Because he’s the opposite of everything I want out of life!

You know I hate baseball. You know I hate instability.

You know I hate the fanfare that comes with wealth and status,” I say.

Kara’s expression softens slightly. “Griffin West’s existence is pretty much summed up by everything I hate.

It makes no sense for me to like him. So, thinking about him is pointless. I need my brain to compute that logic.”

Kara looks at me with assessing eyes. “Logic has its place. An important place.” She pokes me in my chest. “But our hearts also have a place. Maybe your heart is fighting for its place. Not to kick logic out the door, but to at least have a seat at the table.”

I mull over her words, not particularly wanting to give credence to them.

“This is a silly conversation anyway. It’s not like Griffin West is going to think twice about me.

I’m a school librarian with a newly-adopted son.

Not exactly the caliber of the models or socialites he’s probably used to dating.

He was doing a favor for his sister last night.

My mind has run wild worrying about contingencies that aren’t even going to happen. ”

Kara tsks . “Or maybe you’re precisely the type of woman who would capture his attention. He’d be a smart man to notice you. ”

Sighing, I fight a smile. “You’re just saying that because you’re my best friend.”

“Or maybe I chose you as my best friend because it’s true,” Kara says, smiling fully. “Give yourself some credit, Danae.”

We’re interrupted by the sound of voices entering the library. “Oops, better get back to the music room!” Kara says. “But don’t think this conversation is over. You will keep me up to date on any and all new developments.”

“Remember, you’re sworn to secrecy,” I whisper as we walk out of the storage room.

“As much as it pains me to keep quiet, I promise,” she says.

I turn to the room filled with third graders and switch into librarian mode. “Good morning, class!”