Page 39 of Hold Me Instead (Elmwood Falls #1)

Zachary

The crisp breeze swirled the scent of pine and impending snow through the crowd at the edge of Village Park.

Thirty-degree weather wouldn’t stop people from attending the Elmwood Falls Village Tree Lighting, but as more groups arrived, it helped cut the wind.

A family closed in, nearly separating Zachary from his own.

“Uncle Zachy!” Vivi stretched out a dramatic arm as though she’d lose him forever.

He chuckled and squeezed closer. “I’m right here, kiddo.”

Theatrics done, she gripped his hand with both of hers, her purple mittens soft and floppy. “Don’t forget, we’re getting fudge next!”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” he said.

“They’ve been talking about it all day,” Sandra said. “This is one of their favorite nights. Sweetie, pull your hat down.” She tugged on Vivi’s matching cap.

“You remember doing this last year, Vivi?” He looked over at his mom and Jay, who was holding Alex as he pointed at storefront displays.

Vivi nodded. “Mom let me get two fudges. Peanut butter and mint. That’s what I want.”

“We’re not eating it all tonight. Some of it’s to bring home,” Sandra reminded her .

“Who sells fudge?” Zachary asked his sister.

“The Door County shop. Have you been in there? Really cute.”

“No.” He followed where she pointed. “I haven’t thought about Door County in ages.”

“We’re thinking of taking the kids next fall. Rent a cabin, like we did a couple times.”

“Oh, right. Hard to remember Dad taking time off for that.”

“They usually paired it with a Monday holiday. Drove up after Saturday closed. Mom kinda dragged him out of the office.”

The memory was faint, waiting for his dad in the car so they could make the three-hour drive north. The last time they’d gone, he’d been fifteen.

“Mommy! Look!” Vivi tugged Sandra’s coat, then Jay’s. “Alex! It’s almost time!”

Alex squealed in delight as they all faced the compact stage in front of a giant Christmas tree, its decor muted without the glowing lights. A handful of people huddled around the podium, and a buzz went through the crowd.

“I feel like they keep doing this earlier each year,” Sandra muttered.

“Well, stores started with Halloween decorations in July,” their mom said. “This is nothing.”

“This used to happen after Thanksgiving, though, right? It’s just a few days away, why not wait?” Zachary asked, tuning out any reply as he spotted Charlie in the crowd.

She stood with a few of their staff, hugging her large coat tight.

There had been talk of attending as a group that evening—and he’d been tempted to join—but felt like he owed his family the time.

Besides, as much as he wanted to see Charlie outside the office again, which hadn’t happened since the cookout, he still didn’t know what the hell he was doing.

Though the urge to return to Chicago grew smaller.

He considered that thought as the mayor and other city council members addressed the crowd.

Fortunately, there were a lot of clinics hiring due to the smaller numbers of veterinarians in the field.

Unfortunately, the locations often consisted of burnt-out employees, not enough employees, and high-stress situations because of low funds.

If there was a place he felt good fighting for, it was here.

He looked back at Charlie just as the tree lights twinkled, and the crowd cheered.

She clapped her hands above her head, shimmying to the holiday music that blared over the blocked-off Main Street.

A family approached with their small dog and stopped her, and her genuine happiness shone through the sea of people.

“Uncle Zachy, let’s go!” Vivi shouted.

His family was already walking toward the shop, but he didn’t make it far.

“Zachary Lee!”

A young woman launched herself into his arms as he turned.

He pulled back and looked down into her laughing face.

“Holy shit! Bella Mazzolari,” he said. He bopped the puffball on top of her forest-green knit hat and scanned the rest of her.

She had a matching scarf and gloves, a cream down coat, and her jeans were tucked into a tan heeled boot with a furry lining.

“How many layers do you have on? Is your body already adapted to LA weather?”

“It is no joke , Zachary. Also, where’s this mild winter everyone’s been talking about? I feel like my family tricked me into coming home.”

He grinned. “Has it been a while? ”

“A couple years, for Christmas at least.” She glanced around at all the moving bodies. “Are you here by yourself?”

“No, my family’s getting fudge. You?”

“Everyone is here.” She pointed to a large group of adults and a couple of kids, standing near the tree. “My older sister lives nearby and invited me, but then everyone else found out.”

“That’s nice,” he said.

“Yeah. My mom jumped at the chance to have us all together outside of the Thanksgiving meal.” She peered around him, then looked up with her light brown eyes, makeup flawless, olive skin rosy from the cold. “Is your dad here too?”

“No. Too cold. And too busy.”

“Mmm, yeah. How is he?”

“A little better every day. He’s, uh, probably going to retire.”

Bella blew out a breath. “Oh my. Lots of things to process.”

Zachary nodded. “How are you?”

She shrugged. “Pretty good. For getting dumped on national television.”

“Aah, Bella…”

She chuckled, her smile wide. “Seriously. It was rough for a bit, but I’m in a better place now. The producers are even talking to me about hosting a new reality show,” she added in a lower tone.

“Another dating one?”

She held a finger to her lips.

“Did the experience not deter you from the relationship scene?”

Bella rocked between her feet, swinging her arms to keep warm.

She stopped, head cocked. “No. If you’d asked a few months ago, it’d have been a different story.

I dunno, the journey of the relationship is part of the fun.

Even in such a compressed time, I learned things about myself and what I want in a partner.

And for his many, many flaws, there were moments when I was really happy.

Pain and all, I’d rather go for it than regret not trying. ”

“Bella!” The chorus shouting her name startled them, the power of five siblings plus.

Bella waved a wild hand. “Yeah, I’m coming!” She rolled her eyes. “It’s like we jump back twenty years when we’re all together. Okay, I promise we’ll grab food while we’re both home. I’ll text you!” She hugged him tight.

“Good to see you, Bella.”

She blew a kiss, then scuttled across the street, shouting indiscernible things to her family. A man, probably a brother, looped an arm around her neck in a loose headlock, and one of the little kids jumped on his back.

Zachary smiled at the mayhem, and the thought of Alex’s and Vivi’s faces watching the festivities lodged something quite uncomfortable in his throat.

It seemed to grow in size as his family emerged from the Door County shop down the street.

Vivi immediately sat at the curb to eat her fudge, with Alex wrangled by Jay to do the same.

Sandra stood behind them, sipping a hot drink, and their mom came out of the store moments later and handed each kid something.

He watched Sandra protest, but then she handed her a trinket and Sandra burst out laughing.

Whatever she handed Jay next made his face light up like Alex.

Zachary didn’t want to watch from the sidelines anymore. He wanted to be up close to witness his mom’s glee as she spoiled her grandkids, see what old joke Sandra’s gift referenced, learn something his brother-in-law loved. He wanted to be there. In the thick of it .

Even if he and his dad stood next to one another in silence, he would make this time home count.

***

Zachary moved past clumps of people as they enjoyed the blocked-off Main Street like it was a special treat.

When he spotted Charlie, alone, staring up at the tree, he maneuvered her way, stopping at her left shoulder.

Bella’s words had echoed the entire night—“ I’d rather go for it than regret not trying . ”

“Hey.” He leaned close to her ear. Her breath hitched, and when she turned, their faces were inches apart.

“Hey.” Berry glasses today, to match her shoes. She looked back at the tree. “Well?”

“Good show. Though I’ll admit, Vivi and Alex were the most fun to watch.” Her too. How to say it without making her uncomfortable?

“I don’t doubt it.”

He lilted forward, his chest brushing her back. He grinned when she pressed to him. “It’s nice to see you,” he murmured. He looked down at her head as she stared at the tree and saw her cheeks perk into a grin.

“We just saw each other.”

“Yes, but out of the office.”

There was a beat, then “It’s good to see you too.”

He reached for her hand, threaded their fingers, and tucked them in the folds of his coat, hidden from everyone else. It had been years since he’d held a woman’s hand. He hadn’t realized the urge still existed.

He swallowed. “You’re freezing. ”

“Forgot my gloves this morning.”

He warmed her fingers in his as they faced the tree. Her skin against his was his new favorite thing.

Gentle flurries fell, steady, as though on cue. Charlie chuckled and looked up, the snowflakes landing on her face, melting on her cheeks, her glasses.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” she murmured.

“What is it?”

“I mean, this is perfect timing. Magical .” She gestured up. “High-school Charlie would be freaking out right now.” She blinked rapidly, her smile freezing. Her eyes darted to him.

He chuckled. “High school you?”

She groaned and removed her hand from his so she could flip up the hood of her coat. With a quick tug at the strings, she cinched the hood briefly, then released the strings and turned.

“I may have…had a crush on you. When I was younger.”

“You did, huh?”

“Why don’t you sound surprised? God, was I that obvious?”

“I, no, I…” He scratched his head. “I guess I wondered once or twice. It’s not like I thought about it a lot.”

She put her face in her hands and groaned.

He laughed, peeling one finger away from her eye and stepping close. “It’s not a bad thing.”

“Easy for you to say,” she grumbled.

“Okay, true. I’m flattered. But I’m…I’m glad the me I am now is still…someone you’re interested in.”

“Oh, I’m definitely interested,” she said, her voice adopting a husky tone .

He shivered, clenching his jaw to keep from tugging her close. Instead, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Oh, I’m definitely interested too.”

Her eyes were closed when he straightened, as though she were absorbing a kiss, her lips parted slightly.

She blinked them open and looked around with a surprised giggle, shaking her head to herself.

Finally locking eyes with him, her smile softened into one he hadn’t seen, one that made him want to sit in her affection and simultaneously whisk her away to somewhere private.

“So, um…ready for the holiday festivities?” Charlie asked.

He snorted a laugh.

It had been a long time since he’d shared a holiday with his family.

He’d never experienced it with the kids around, either, to see what excited them, what foods they liked or hated.

His mom had told them they were skipping events with relatives this year.

A day together, relaxed in celebration, could be really nice.

He looked down at Charlie, and she grinned back, turning to completely face him.

She kept their bodies close and brought her hands up to meet his in the coat cocoon.

Looking at her under the twinkling lights was dangerous, her eyes sparkling, her mouth inviting.

The thought of seeing her in Christmas-themed scrubs was as appealing as being with her now, close together, only them existing in this holiday fanfare.

He’d enjoy it all while he could.

“I’m ready.”