Page 8 of Hold Me Down (KRK Security #4)

The first time Dave had learned what a luxury it was to have a shower you could just walk into was during his deployment.

Once he'd returned stateside, he'd had what some would call a religious experience in his parents' guest room en-suite, equipped with decent water pressure and a seemingly endless supply of hot water.

And now, once again, showering wasn't a normal, everyday occurrence that could be done on autopilot. He had to take his time and be careful, because his damn cast needed protection.

To make things worse, it was only one of many normal, everyday tasks that needed way too much forethought and preparation these days—if they were even possible in the first place.

While Dave was never a fan of morning workouts, he still looked on in envy on Monday morning as Travis headed out for a run. They'd eaten breakfast together beforehand, but now Travis was gone and Dave was situated on the couch, surrounded by everything he might be needing—and then some.

Travis hadn't left before he made sure— twice —that Dave really couldn't think of anything else he might want to have on hand.

"And that's what's pissing you off?" Colin asked over the video call. "That he's what, overbearing?"

Dave shook his head as he buried himself deeper against the cushions.

"He's not overbearing. If he was, I'd be justified in my irritation."

"You can feel however you're feeling."

"Yeah, well, thanks a lot, but I'm not the one—" heading to mandatory therapy . Dave caught himself in time, but almost spilling Travis's personal business only pissed him off more. "I'm a lot to deal with, right now."

"You're a lot to deal with even without an injury, little brother, and yet Travis has been managing for basically half your life."

Dave huffed, but he could feel his shoulders drop an inch.

"Yeah, well, you're also a lot."

"Duh."

They fell into silence after that, and Dave stared at the corner of his screen, knowing his brother was waiting him out.

"I'm a lot more to deal with than usual, though," Dave finally said. "And I will be, for however long. Knowing how much I can't do right now is honestly worse than any physical pain."

"Of course, because you need your independence like you need the air to breathe. To have to depend on someone else, day in and day out, without feeling like you're also pulling your own weight, goes against everything you believe in."

That hit way too close to home for Dave's liking.

"If I thought you'd be using what you learned against me, I would have been fiercely against the couples therapy you and Amy went to."

"You'd most likely have to deal with my sad, divorced ass if we hadn't."

Dave couldn't imagine these two ever heading that way, but he'd learned over the years that no one could ever truly know what was happening inside someone else's relationship, no matter how close they were.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be independent," Colin continued. "Quite the opposite, as long as you're not pulling too much of that lone wolf shit. But with Travis there, and Kalei, to some extent, I can't see you ever getting too far down that road before they catch up with you."

"Yeah, well, Kalei's pissed right now, so."

He winced at the memory of his boss in the hospital room, laying it on them in that thoroughly disappointed tone that made Dave wish the ground would swallow him whole.

"He'll get over it. I'm sure you and Travis did stupider things when he was your platoon commander, and he still hired you afterwards. He may pick you up by your scruff and shake you every once in a while, but you know he's not leaving you behind."

Dave let out a slow exhale. "I know."

"And Travis—"

"I know . I told you I'm feeling sorry for myself. This is me whining about everything."

"I can see that," Colin offered dryly. "And as an older brother, it's up to me to call you out on your bullshit when you sound like you're getting stupid."

"I thought I was allowed to feel how I feel."

"Sure. But there's acknowledging, and there's wallowing. You aren't as helpless as you think you are, even if physically you're less capable than usual."

"I need help getting to the bathroom, not to mention anything else," Dave said, shoulders tensing once again.

Even admitting that out loud was hard, despite the fact that he and Colin were close and knew more about each other than the average siblings.

There was no way to hide his limitations from Travis, which was bad enough. Anyone else…

"And I'm glad you have that help readily available for you," his brother told him, making Dave snort.

"I wish it was as easy as you're making it sound."

"I'm sure it's not. But it's also not as hard as you're making it sound." Colin shook his head. "Especially since it's all temporary."

The thought of it being temporary was the only thing keeping Dave from falling into the abyss.

One life-changing injury was more than enough for a lifetime, and while he felt at peace with not going into professional basketball now , he'd never forget how devastating it was to have that dream taken away when he was a teenager.

"Besides, if the roles were reversed, would you resent Travis for making you help him out?"

"What, no!" Dave sat up, propelled with indignation. "And he wouldn't have to make me do anything."

Colin lifted his eyebrows, "I told you so" clearly spelled out without him having to mutter a single word.

"That's different," Dave protested. "Besides, I know Travis doesn't resent me."

"Of course he doesn't. There's nothing to resent."

Dave was pretty sure his grumpy ass would drag anyone else down, but with Travis, things were different. They were different. And there was no one else on the planet Dave would rather be doing this with.

Suddenly out of breath, he stared at the wall as everything fell into place in his head.

While there were things he'd like that Travis would never give him, there were a myriad of others that the two of them already had. And this was one of them—a temporary one, a new one, but still another example of Travis not only standing by Dave but also going the distance with him.

Dave would bet every last penny he had that Travis would switch places with him in an instant if it was possible. Not just because he felt guilty—which Dave was trying to talk him out of—but because of who he was, and who they were to each other.

Partners pretty much from the day they met, they had gone through various reiterations of that term, and they would likely go through many others in the future, too.

Dave might have wanted them to be romantic partners as well, but even though they weren't, that didn't diminish their relationship in the slightest.

They were as close as they could be, so of course Travis was by his side in this.

Of course.

The same way Dave would be, if the roles were reversed.

"Earth to Dave." Colin's voice made him blink and glance back at the screen. "I'm guessing the point has finally hit home, so I'll leave you to it, okay? Call me anytime."

With a quick thanks and goodbye, Dave ended the call and put the phone aside.

He didn't necessarily feel better after that conversation, but he kind of… felt lighter? His situation hadn't changed in the half an hour he spent talking to his brother, but his outlook might have.

A bit.

After all, it could have been worse.

Dave stared at his leg, perched on the pillows and not even aching for the moment, then he looked around the room—the crutches right by the couch, the clear path to the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom, the small mountain of books on the side table…

He wasn't totally helpless and he didn't need help every minute of every day.

Yeah, he was still getting used to things, and he'd hit some rough patches, but things weren't as terrible as they might have been.

Picking up the remote, he was already considering his ever-growing list of things to watch and trying to decide which show he was in the mood for, when the front door opened, revealing sweaty and flushed Travis.

Dave's heart did not lurch at the sight.

Absolutely not.

"You're back early," he heard himself say, his mind rebooting as he tried not to stare too obviously.

Travis toed off his sneakers. "Yeah, I decided to try a faster pace today. Figured you may miss me."

Always .

Dave tightened his grip on the remote as he tried to squash that thought as soon as it appeared, but the sight of Travis walking closer to the couch made the task that much harder.

Seriously, how hot could one guy be?

Martinez always joked that the KRK Security personnel had been picked at least partially for their looks, because they were all ridiculously pretty, but in Dave's book, there was no one at their company who came even close to how gorgeous Travis was.

Dave was biased, of course, but he didn't care. Many people were good-looking—or even beautiful—in the aesthetic kind of way he could appreciate, but only Travis flipped a switch inside Dave's mind that made him forget his damn name.

Thankfully, he'd had many years to build up at least some resistance.

"I'll miss you even more if you shower before getting any closer to me," he said, purposefully turning towards the TV.

There was a movement in the corner of his eye, and then there were warm and sweaty arms closing around his head and his face was pressed against Travis's chest.

Dave laughed, pretending to swat Travis away as his heartbeat quickened.

Yeah , it could all have been so much worse.