Page 16 of Hold Me Down (KRK Security #4)

Sleeping alone had done nothing to improve Dave's mood, and once he'd wobbled his way to the bathroom, he grimaced at himself in the mirror. What a shitty way to start the week.

Then again, what difference did it make if it was Monday or any other day?

Not like Dave had any place to be.

Getting downstairs did nothing to fix his mood, either, since Travis was already on his way out and they didn't have any time to talk aside from Travis making sure Dave had everything he could possibly need for the time being.

That check had become an everyday thing and was quite soothing, actually, but today it just irked Dave instead.

Which seemed like a repeat of how he'd felt right after the accident.

Like he'd been sliding, instead of moving forward.

It was also rather unfair towards Travis himself, but Dave couldn't help it. The same way he couldn't help how much his skin itched under the cast, he couldn't stop a different kind of itch under his skin.

He wanted out.

Out of this house, out of this cast, out of constantly feeling like he was stuck, and helpless, and needing help like he hadn't needed one since he was out of the damn diapers.

After spending a few hours watching things mindlessly, trying not to think of Travis at the office and of everyone having fun without him, Dave fell into a restless sleep, only to wake up in the same bad mood and with an empty stomach, to boot.

As he was reheating one of the burritos Ian had delivered yesterday, Dave's phone vibrated on the counter.

He glanced at it to see a message from his brother, but he didn't swipe to read it.

He didn't want to complain to Colin yet again or listen to another pep talk.

He just wanted to wallow in his frustration until he pushed through it, somehow.

Usually, if Dave had a bad day, he could go for a run or to lift some weights until his arms threatened to give up on him, but he couldn't—

Well .

There was nothing preventing him from upper body strength training. He'd been doing it almost every day, after all, with Travis there on the other side of their gym room pretending he wasn't watching him like a hawk.

Dave clenched his hand over the edge of the counter.

He missed the days when Travis looked at him sweating it out because he wanted to fuck Dave and not because he wanted to save him from a piece of equipment falling on him or whatever.

He was probably not being fair towards Travis once again—the man still fucked him plenty, and it was actually Dave who had shut that door last night, literally and metaphorically—but he figured he didn't have to be fair every minute of every day.

He could be petty and mean every once in a while, inside his own damn head.

He could also go lift some weights while his keeper wasn't home.

Dave could definitely use some breathing room as he sweated his way through the training.

Once he made it to their home gym after lunch and a little break, he sat down and stretched carefully, methodically, until the rhythm of the music he'd set up matched the energy that was pumping through his veins.

He might have rushed through some of the stretches because of it, but he did complete the process.

After all, he didn't want another injury on top of the one he already had.

He started small, doing a few sets of lat pulldowns at his usual level, followed by shoulder press sets.

Then, he moved to his main goal for today—the bench.

He upped the weight settings, wanting to feel the burn, and lowered himself until he was lying on his back, his arms at the perfect angle for the handles.

That was when the realization hit him—there was no way for him to find his balance with only one foot securely on the floor.

Damn it .

Dave pushed himself back up to a sitting position and winced at the shot of pain in his leg.

Absentmindedly massaging his knee right above the cast, he looked around the room in search for a solution to his problem until his gaze fell on a stock of bumper weight plates in the corner.

If he put one large enough plate across his thighs, he would be kept still, and the leverage could offer him additional abs exercise.

It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was something, at least.

There was no way to bring the plate to the bench while having to balance himself on the crutch, though, so he finally managed it without a crutch by rolling the plate on the floor for the few steps it took to get it there.

By the time Dave lay down again, he was already tired and sweaty, but he wasn't going to give up now. Not even when he realized he forgot to lower the weight on the bar back to the usual, what with the additional weight across his thighs and everything.

Fuck .

He considered getting up again for a minute there, but then let it go, not wanting to take any longer than he'd already had. He would do one set and call it a day, especially since Travis should be getting back soon.

Hefting a plate on himself while lying down turned out to be harder than expected, however. He dropped it on the first attempt and winced at the loud bang on the floor, but finally managed to lift it all the way on the second try.

Dave took a deep breath, then released it slowly as he looked up at the bar above him.

This was it.

Finally.

"What was—" Travis's voice came from the door, loud enough to be heard over the music, which he quickly went over to turn down. "What are you doing?"

Dave clenched his jaw as his eyes fell shut.

Fuck it all to hell .

He could hear Travis walking closer, but he wasn't ready to face him. Not yet. Not like this.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop Travis in the slightest.

"Are you okay?"

The question came in a different, softer tone, but Dave didn't really care much about that at this point.

"I'm fine." He clenched his hands around the bar as he opened his eyes to glare at Travis. "I needed leverage to bench press, and I figured it out, so now I'd like to get a set in, if you don't mind."

"If I don't…" Travis lifted his gaze above Dave's head and his eyes narrowed. "Are you actively trying to hurt yourself? What the fuck?"

A wave of anger rushed through Dave and he sat up, almost tossing the plate on the ground.

Travis caught it, of course. The asshole.

"I'm trying to exercise in peace without you hovering over me."

Nostrils flaring, Travis crossed his arms over his chest after putting the plate near the wall.

"Do we or do we not have a deal about lifting weights above a certain level on our own?"

Okay, so, yes, Dave had maybe upped the weight a little too much, but he'd needed a challenge instead of playing around.

"I can lift that, and you know it."

"That's not what our deal is about." Travis shook his head as he took a step back, then another, which was good, because Dave needed space or he was going to explode. "We agreed, better safe than sorry."

"Well, these days it's all about being safe with you, isn't it?

" Dave clenched his hands in his lap. He didn't want to keep sitting when Travis was standing, but getting up seemed like even worse of an idea.

"I should do nothing but lie on the couch and wait for you to bring me every fucking little thing, as if I was paralyzed and not simply had a broken leg. "

Travis's stance changed as he shifted on his legs and lowered his arms.

"Okay, I get it, I've gone a bit overboard with—"

"A bit?!" Dave grabbed the crutch and got onto his feet after all, too furious not to move. "You go any further and you're gonna try taking a piss for me! Last night you watched me climb those fucking stairs as if I was going to fall off the side of K2 or something!"

"You fell and broke your leg when I wasn't looking!" Now it was Travis who raised his voice, clearly no longer interested in placating Dave. "Forgive me for wanting to make sure it doesn't happen again!"

Dave's chest ached, his leg ached, and he did not want to have this conversation. At all.

And yet—

"Yeah, well, I don't want you to, okay?" he snapped back. "I don't want you to protect me, and I don't want you to stand by in case something bad happens to me. It's not always about what you want or what you need, sometimes it's about me and what I want."

Travis reared back as if Dave had hit him, and when the words registered in Dave's head, he understood why.

Fuck . He'd gone way over the line.

Gripping his crutch tightly, he tried to figure out how to backtrack, now that the rush of anger drained out of him at the look on Travis's face. Before Dave could find the right words, though, Travis headed for the door.

"Fine, have it your way. I'm going out, so I won't be here hovering over you and… and forcing you to do my bidding, apparently. Do whatever you want. But for fuck's sake, use your brain before you drop a weight on your head, you absolute asshole."

Dave held his breath as he listened to Travis walking away.

He wouldn't really leave, would he? He only just got back, maybe he would go upstairs or…

When the front door shut loudly enough to be heard in the gym room, Dave fell back down to sit on the bench.

What the fuck had he done?