Page 70 of His Blazing Witch (The Silver City #3)

The two wolves by my side exchange a look, and I can feel their hesitation. I take a deep breath, and nod.

"It's really alright, I promise. You two go back. There's no more danger now, nothing I can't handle alone. Go back to your mates and everyone. They need you."

“ ...We need you too, ” whispers Nora. “ You have to come back, Mara. ”

"I know. It's okay."

“ We're serious, ” growls Selena. “ You'd better bring your ass back as soon as you can. We do need you, and I don't want to lose anyone else today. ”

"I promise I'll do all I can to come back... as soon as possible," I add as soon as she growls again.

I hear them sigh in my head, but I try to stay reassuring. I'm tired, but... at least, I feel like the final fight is over. This is... just part of the aftermath. We did it. Now, it's just up to me to get to the bottom of things and prevent it from ever happening again. Nora and Selena were a huge help, and I wouldn't have gone that far or even survived if it wasn't for them, but... this confrontation between me and Luna doesn't need to involve them. This is my cross to bear, and they don't need to shoulder that burden with me. I know they want to go back to their mates, and they deserve to. I turn back to Luna, still crouching in the snow blanket.

"Send them back. Please," I insist.

I may sound polite, but I make sure my voice is clear. She growls a bit, but soon, the snow under Selena and Nora begins moving. They get in a defensive position, but I can see them being pushed away, gently blown back into the real world. They disappear slowly, as if an eerie blizzard has taken over the spot where they were standing, and the last thing I see are two pairs of glowing eyes, one blue and the other golden.

I wait until they are fully gone, and I look inside for them... My inner wolf easily reaches out to those soulmates of ours. I smile, reassured by the relief they are both feeling right now. They definitely got back to their mates. A knot comes back to my throat, and my heart suddenly feels a lot heavier, just as I am reminded I lost mine. I take a deep breath, but a couple of tears still come out. Liam... I'll end this for you, babe.

"...It's just the two of us now," I tell Luna.

“ Indeed... The crazy ones. ”

"The werewolf witches," I chuckle. "You must have seen many of our kind in here."

I look around in this strangely vivid memory frozen in time. Luna slowly moves, but stays at a reasonable distance from me. I can feel her suspicion, her doubts. It's strange. Now I can... feel her, a bit. It's not as crystal clear as when I try to communicate with my pack, but there's definitely something familiar about it. She has a heart like Nora or Selena's. Something that shines brightly, vividly, but with a heaviness to it. The heaviness of her past.

“ There weren't that many, ” she retorts in a cold tone. “ Not even ten... Our kind is too rare, and the curse took care of those who did live. ”

"Like Clarissa and little Mara. But I was created by the same Dark Magic, so it couldn't kill me, right? The curse tried to get into my mind, but I was different from them all."

“ Of course you are. You were created by Dark Magic, yet also imbued with Light Magic by your link to the Royals. There's something special about your existence... and your bond too. ”

Again, that knot that chokes me up. I take a deep breath, trying to control it.

Destiny or the Moon Goddess probably didn't pair all three of us with the Black Brothers by some haphazard mistake... No, it feels like something bigger was at stake, like the wheels of fate making sure every piece fell into the right spot. I take another deep breath and turn to the grave. ...I still see Liam's name, and it's painful as hell.

"...Tell me what happened, Luna."

She finally moves. Her paws silently dive into the snow as she walks up to the grave. She suddenly rubs her head against it, in a very canine-like way. I hear a faint whimper.

“ I missed him so much... I would have given almost anything to bring him back. Perhaps a part of my wolf self had already known he was gone, but... every day I spent with Luna, I felt him grow a bit further. As if she was telling me. ”

"...Did you ever find out how he died?"

“ Luna said it was the humans... Perhaps it was also the wolves. By trading half of his wolfhood with the witch, my mate had become a stranger to his own kind. He wanted to become stronger, for the packs, but... he lost them. He lost their trust, and he couldn't get the humans' either. Luna was too different from mankind. ”

"They hated witches."

“ She hated humans just as much, ” scoffed Luna. “ She didn't just choose to live alone, she had no choice. She... scared them. She probably would have scared a wolf too if she hadn't been so close to nature itself. ”

"But you befriended her."

“ She befriended me. Luna wanted a companion, after she had lost my mate, I probably came at the right time... She introduced me to her world, and began thinking that with my blood, as a pure werewolf, and magic, we could do the impossible together… ”

"Bring him back."

Luna suddenly growls, and steps away from the stone, almost as if she was wary of it, or... scared.

“ She didn't bother to tell me the specifics, she... knew it was something forbidden by the laws of magic. She... didn't know what she was doing. ”

"Was the spell too powerful for her?" I ask.

“ Oh, no, the spell itself would have worked... if it hadn't included a clueless, eager wolf. ”

I frown. Luna is the one who caused the necromancy spell to... fail? I swallow my saliva. I feel like I'm standing in a sacred place hiding some terrible events. Actually, the whole place suddenly looks much more sinister. Luna keeps moving away, and she's now slowly walking toward the house. Once again, the completely still state of our environment is disturbing. The snow under my feet makes no noise, I step on it as if it was stable, thick ground. The trees, wind, and everything around is completely quiet...

Luna stops a few steps away from the house, and I know where we are. This is where the spell happened, right before I got out of that memory. This is where the two Lunas stood, above a magic circle. That thing is still carved in the ground, like a traumatic burn. Luna walks up to that thing, but she's careful not to step inside. She stops just a couple inches away from the border. Now that everything is much clearer and I'm using my own mind and eyes, I observe that thing with a strange feeling. It does feel very ominous...

“ When I understood what Luna had tried to do... When I saw the grave, it hit me. On that stone was the name she had given my mate. He was the only male she had ever cared about, her first companion, just like he had been mine. I understood what she was doing, what we... were about to achieve. I'm not sure how long I stayed there, while the truth hit me violently. I just remember running back, and yelling at her to start over. What I didn't know back then was that she had already used too much of her own energy in the first attempt. ”

I can imagine.

If Luna was on her own guiding the spell and using the she-wolf as a... battery, it must have required a crazy amount of focus from her. Moreover, she did it using her own life force. She was a good witch, a witch that used only Light Magic, not Dark. Which meant she used her own life force to try and bring him back. I can't even fathom how hard it must have been for her. Not just hard... she had to give up her own life force. How much of one's life was to be given to bring another one back from the dead? That's... frightening.

“ I insisted we try again, ” whispers Luna. “ Once I understood she was trying to bring my mate back, I became obsessed with it. I didn't care about anything else... about her. I'm still sure she was involved in his death. At the time, that was a good enough excuse to ease my conscience about using her. ”

"...So you resumed the necromancy spell?"

Luna slowly lowers her head, her blue eyes on the lines of the circle.

“ ...We did. This time, I was fully involved in it, and... blinded. So blind, I focused on the magic without realizing what I was doing to Luna. She had been the one to drive the spell, pour her life force into it. Now, I was taking it from her, more and more, desperately. ”

Her voice breaks on those last words. I feel... a bottomless sadness from her. She whimpers, and slowly crouches down on the circle. She looks at the other end of it, as if she was seeing something there, or someone. I feel her sadness melting with mine, adding to it like another weight on my heart.

“ ...She didn't tell me, ” mutters Luna. “ I kept going like a mad wolf, and she didn't tell me she was dying, or that I was using Dark Magic without realizing. I just chose to save my mate, and disregard everything else. No matter the price, I couldn't let go... I couldn't do what you did. ”

I try to take it all in. All her sadness, but also the heavy truth behind this tragedy. Luna and I are different in one thing... She had no one else. For me, I could stop because there was Nora and Selena, Ben and Kelsi, and everyone else in Silver City. I could hold on to the fact that, even if... I lost Liam, I wouldn't be completely alone. I wouldn't be the only one to remember him, and I would be able to share my pain and that burden with someone.

Luna had no one like that but the same witch who had taken her mate from her. Actually, neither of them did. They had each other, but they could only hold on to the man they had both loved and were desperate to bring back. They couldn't trust each other enough to know they'd be there to support the other. They were desperate to regain the one they thought would be there...

"I would have been scared too," I mutter.

“ Then why aren't you? ” she suddenly growls and turns around. “ You didn't hesitate to give away a chance to be with your mate, and instead– ”

"I did hesitate!" I growl back. "This was perhaps the hardest choice I've ever made in my life!"

“ Then how?! ”

“Because I'm not scared to be alone,” I suddenly drop.

I just realized that now. I scoff as it suddenly hits me, and shake my head, a bitter smile on my lips.

"You weren't... scared to lose your mate, Luna. You had already lost him. You were just... scared to be alone. Just like why you went to that witch in the first place. You couldn't stay alone, so you went to the only person that was probably lonelier than you."

“ No, you don't know what you're talking about, ” she growls.

"Oh, no, I'm just understanding now," I retort, turning around.

I walk back to the cabin, and push the door to go in. It all stayed exactly the same as in my memory, except that now, I'm seeing things from a human's height. It's still all the same. There are no smells, but... it's the same bed, the same table, and the same stool. All for one person. One bowl, one... spoon, one meal that seems to be cooking in the little chimney. There isn't even a space for another human in here... I shake my head, and hear Luna barging in behind me.

"You were both frightened," I continue, looking around. "You were both terrified at the idea that you'd be alone again, after you had experienced being with your mate. You didn't want to go back to your children for fear their pack would reject you, so you went to the only woman who could understand you, and was as lonely as you were."

“ What? ”

"The curse didn't originate from a mistake in the spell," I declare, turning to her. "That spell was perfect, it was working. Even if you turned it to Dark Magic, you could have emptied all of Luna's strength and brought your mate back. But it failed. And instead, you got trapped in it. You don't know how Luna died, do you? You're not even sure how your mate died, and you didn't know how that spell ended either!"

“ No! I– ”

"You weren't just the creator of the curse, Luna," I say, stepping closer to her again. "You were also its first victim. Your Dark Magic realized how scared you were to be lonely, abandoned again, and fed on it. It pushed you to be alone again, and hate the only friend you ever had. It made you lonelier than ever, and yet constantly looking for a new host to experience your loneliness again. That's why it poisoned the minds of witches, forcing them to be alone again each time they had found a mate. Nephera ran from her second chance mate, although she was pregnant with his baby. Clarissa's mother was alone with her child too. All those women ended up alone because the curse pushed them to leave, somehow."

“ Enough! ” she growls. “ You're not making any sense! I killed Luna who tried to use me! I created the curse with my Dark Magic! ”

"...I don't believe you killed Luna," I mutter, turning around to look at the room. "I think you're the one who died trying to bring your mate back, and you didn't want to face the truth because you would have had to face your greatest fear to end that curse. Embrace the loneliness, and renounce your mate forever. That's why you endured all those years, and survived through the curse rather than to give up. It's like a... cursed loop. Making the wrong choice, over and over again, until someone could stop you. Until someone like me came along. Same story, same kind, and I was given the same choice. I can stop you because I'm not scared to be alone, Luna."

“ No, no, no. She died. The witch died when we created that curse! Otherwise, why wouldn't she have stopped me?! ”

"She couldn't," I shake my head. "I think... the curse you were trapped in was too strong for her to handle. She knew she didn't have the strength, as you took most of her life force. Moreover, it would have meant giving up on you forever... If I had been her, I wouldn't have wanted to make the same mistake twice."

I keep looking around the room, and I know what is missing. There's no Witches’ Ancestral Tree here... Perhaps it didn't exist back then, or perhaps Luna herself invented it for the next generations to keep track. I chuckle, as the truth suddenly comes to me, so easily it's almost risible.

"She had children," I say. "I saw the Witches' Ancestral Tree, and... Luna, the first witch, had children. Back then I wondered which one of you the tree was referring to, but if it had been you, Selena, Nora, and their grandmother would have been on there. No, it was her, and she definitely had descendants, like Nephera. No, she lived. Luna lived, and she couldn't stop you, so... she did the next best thing she could. She made sure no one could ever use that spell again. I understand why there's only one curse now. Your friend Luna was the one who made sure no other witch could go through the same thing you did..."

“Wh-... How?” she gasps.

"...She made sure there would be no more witches with three elements. She split them into a cycle. In that tree, all witches had one element starting from a certain point, but there was none under the oldest witches' names. Now I know why, I think. Perhaps until someone would be strong enough to have all three again... or enough witches could come together against the curse."

A silence follows my words, and as I look over my shoulder, Luna steps back, almost as if she's scared. The truth is probably scary for her, but she needs to hear it. Perhaps she should have heard this long ago.

"Your friend couldn't save you, but she didn't want to lose you either. She just did her best to ensure your curse wouldn't affect too many witches, or be used again. I always wondered why witches were so wary of werewolves, but perhaps she was behind that too. Telling her descendants they should avoid the wolves... avoid falling in love with them, and triggering your curse. She made sure none would have all three elements again, and no witch would fall in love with another wolf, at least not too soon."

I fully turn to her this time and shrug.

"You said it. Children of a witch and a werewolf are scary rare... Both because of you, and Luna's warnings. I think she knew, Luna. She knew that... after a long time had passed, and both your children had grown, things would change. That Royals with your Light Magic would appear, and werewolf witches like me, full of Dark Magic, would come back too. Perhaps everything was written long, long ago, just for you, Luna, to save you."

“ No, no, ” she whimpers. “ I killed her. I killed Luna, she wasn't my friend… ”

I let out a long sigh. Try thinking one way for centuries, resenting one person and hating them so much it becomes the fuel that consumes you, and this is how it ends... A huge, bitter lie. The one person she thought had betrayed her turned out to be her savior in the end. This is another side of the tragedy... She thought Luna the Witch had died because of that curse, but Luna the Wolf was the one who disappeared. If I had been that witch, I would have felt twice as sorry for my mistake, and given anything to repair it. The only two friends she had were killed, both because of her... Talk about a novice in befriending wolves. No wonder her loneliness became a family trait...

"Luna, it's okay. She was your friend, and she tried to save you. You were both... desperate, and dealing with something you couldn't handle, there's no one to blame."

“ ....I can't, Mara. I can't. She will never forgive me. After all these years, after all I've done. ”

"Luna... She won't forgive you. She can't. Your friend died a very, very long time ago, and I'm sure she regretted leaving you. I think her forgiveness isn't something that matters anymore. The only one you ought to forgive is... yourself."

I suddenly hear and see her break into tears, literally bursting into loud sobs. It takes me a few seconds to realize she's shape-shifting into her human form. She's not in Ravena's body this time, just... Luna's human self. With her long white hair, and her blue eyes drowned in tears. I never thought she'd be so... tiny. Her body frame is almost as small as a child’s, and she seems frail now. She's curled up in front of me, her arms around her knees and letting it all out. That's right... Only humans cry and despair this much. I don't know how her wolf heart could handle this much. I sigh again, and get down on my knees to hug her. It's... odd, to console my enemy like this, but this Luna isn't the one who killed Liam, possessed by a curse. This one is a truly remorseful person, who regrets it all. I feel her sadness inside as much as I see it outside, and strangely, it puts some... ease in my own heart. As if it was a bit easier to forgive her myself.

"I'm so... so sorry," she cries, with a pretty but broken voice. "I can't believe... Oh, Moon Goddess, what have I done…? All of them... All those people... I... I really..."

She keeps crying. This, I can't do anything about, it's her own burden to carry. I can't erase the wrong she's done to other people and... I can't forget my own, either. After all this, I'll still have to return, and face the painful truth... I take a deep breath before it gets too tight, before I can't get any air in my lungs. It's painful, and it's hard, so hard. As if the echo I had been pushing to the back of my mind was coming back, louder and louder, to haunt me again. Perhaps because Luna is crying her heart out, and I'm not. I don't know. It's... as if I can't process anything right now. I just know I did what I had to, what I should have done, but Moon Goddess, it's hard.

"Mara..."

I'm surprised when she calls out my name, and suddenly raises her head. Even more surprising, she gently puts her hand against my cheek, staring at me with her eyes full of tears.

"Even you... Moon Goddess, I've hurt so many of my children, and Luna's..."

I hadn't realized until now, but... I'm actually a descendant of both of them, aren't I? As a werewolf of Royal blood, and a witch of Sadia's line... If Luna was the first werewolf whose Light Magic awoke with a witch's powers, was she the first Royal? Luna had said she awoke long dormant powers... Hard to tell. It doesn't really matter anymore. Some stories are perhaps better off as legends.

"I'm so sorry to you, Mara. I'm... sorry..."

She keeps crying and apologizing to me, but it just feels odd. Do I want her apology? Do I want to take it, and if I do, will it ease my pain just a little? I take another deep, erratic breath in. No, probably not. Apologies are never enough, they just... put the pain out there. It doesn't take it away, or make it less painful. I can't let it go, just like I can't forgive her like that, but... I can just let go of the hatred. Like forgiveness, it won't help much...

"I'll go," she whispers. "I... I'm so tired now. I don't know how... I did it, but I want to rest. Perhaps... I'll see them on the other side."

I nod faintly. I don't know if there's another side, and if there is, I don't want to know. I just hope... it's a peaceful, quiet place. I hope... No, I don't want to think about it.

"Mara, look at me."

I lift up my eyes, and behind the tears, she suddenly looks very determined.

"I understand what Luna did. She... tried to get rid of necromancy, and the Dark Magic I had made. The three powers should stay separated, Mara. You're strong, but I don't want to risk one of my daughters getting... trapped in a curse again. You need a very pure heart to resist that spell, Mara. Light Magic, Dark Magic... This world needs both, but never necromancy again. This is a world we should leave alone. The cycle of life and death can't be broken."

"I understand..." I mutter.

"Mara."

She forces me to look up again, and gently smiles.

"I... broke that cycle first. So, if you want to make things right again, just... one last time, and... the right way, you can. Do you understand?"

"...W-what?"

No, I don't understand. Make things right again? What does she mean by that? She gently smiles at me, and moves to hold my hands. She's stopped crying, and I realize I'm the one that's been sobbing. I just notice now how blurry my vision is, and the tears rolling down my cheeks, my own erratic breathing and the stupid hiccups in between.

"You're strong, Mara," she whispers. "You're... so, so much stronger than many of us. You need to guide them. All the witches, the ones that have been lost, like me. Teach them about how precious that balance is, teach them how to love wolves again, and to live in peace with the humans. Witches were never meant to wage war, Mara. We love all kinds. Humans, werewolves, animals. All of them. We are the healers, the protectors of this world. This is our most precious gift, and it comes in different shapes to each one of us. ...We shouldn't be afraid to love ever again."

Gently, she presses her forehead against mine, and I feel... something opening. For a second, I'm terrified that my own head is being split in two, but it's not. I just feel... as if my mind expanded all at once. So many things... no, even more magic than I had ever dreamed of suddenly comes to me, bursting inside like a tornado. I feel like I've just stepped into the most gigantic library in the world, or inside the head of a supercomputer full of knowledge. Moon Goddess, there's... so much!

"Teach it all," she whispers, "to our daughters, our sisters... teach them everything I'm giving you. Bring our kind to what it was always meant to be, and let them teach others next. You will be the last one to carry so much power, but we can start over, to bring a new generation the peace I never had, Mara."

"That's... kind of a lot of witches for me alone..." I mutter, a bit worried.

She chuckles.