Page 62 of His Blazing Witch (The Silver City #3)

The light and the darkness are both there, slowly coming closer, surrounding me in this strange place of silence. The light is shining, so bright and pure, yet so shy in front of me. It's brightening the darkness around like a small window. I feel myself slowly, naturally, pulled toward it, and I do not fight it... I'm not scared. I know where I am, who is there.

I feel myself slowly drown, like coming out the other side of the water. Moon Goddess, it's so cold over there... so lonely too. The silence is echoing within itself, making everything sound so small in the middle of something so vast. I try to focus on the little, vivid flame in my stomach, holding on to it like the only source of warmth around. I really feel like I'm going to freeze to the bone if I forget it's there to warm me up...

I hear wailing, somewhere on my left. I try to remember how to even see anything, and a shape slowly appears. It's a woman, and she smells of... fresh grass and soil... Ravena!

She's curled up on what ought to be some sort of ground. She's obviously in pain... I hear her wailing, but I can't... go anywhere near her. I can't even pull myself there. I'm like a tiny speck of dust, thrown left or right on a breeze's whim, while she's a rock, abandoned there and left to her pain. Her sobbing is so genuine, I feel sorry for her. I can't see the details of her face in the darkness, only her silhouette shaking, following the rhythm of her cries. Damn it... She smells like death. I have no idea how to save her. I don't even know how I can regain control of my body.

"Help... me..."

I hear her muted plea, making me even sadder for her. ...Can I do something for her? I want to reach out, but... I'm so powerless right now.

"Ravena...?"

I can barely recognize my own voice, as if it was coming from very far, like an echo... but she hears it. Her silhouette stops shaking, and I can finally distinguish the traits of her face. The blood I saw earlier, coming down from her eyes, nose, mouth, and ears is still there... She's not going to make it. I can almost see the veil of death in her expression: her empty eyes, the way she looks so tired...

"...Ravena."

It takes me a lot of strength to manage to call her, but she hears it. Her gaze that was so blank and aimless before settles on me. For a strange second, we stare at each other, enemies stranded in the same nightmare. She gasps, a new stream of blood coming out of her mouth.

"You... Please..."

She's struggling to speak, out of breath and out of time. I'm watching her die... I'm watching her die, and I can't do anything about it. Ravena is just at her end, the curse took all it could from her, and left her to die. This is so horrible... Regardless of her wrongdoings, she didn't deserve this.

"Stop... Save..."

Each word looks awfully painful to her, yet she's pleading to me all she can. The red is filling her mouth and running down her lips, her cheek, while her raspy breathing is painful even to listen to. I take a deep breath, and try to regain my body's control. I struggle, in the darkness, to move a single muscle. I know it's way too late to save Ravena, but... if I can at least offer her some... peace...

"I will," I mutter. "I promise I will stop this... I'll save them."

Ravena keeps staring at me, her eyes so empty, I have no idea if she heard me. The darkness looks about to swallow her. It's getting thicker and dark all around her, as if the shadows were about to engulf her... Right before it engulfs her, I see her lips exhale one last breath, and she closes her eyes. The next second, she disappears, the shadow grabbing her away.

Moon Goddess... I need to stop that thing. How many witches have died and suffered unfairly like this...? I need to move. I can't let it swallow me like this too, I don't want to disappear without even a fight... I look up at the white aura, and begin moving my body to get there. I feel like each of my limbs is heavy as hell, but I keep going, I keep fighting to evade that darkness. The darkness isn't what I'm worried about. It's about losing all my strength here... It may look like it's not doing anything, but I know this curse is sucking my strength and lifeforce to get stronger. Well, you won't have it. I'll destroy you first.

I hear a growl next to me. A wolf...? No, it's bigger. I frown. I know it's not my wolf, so what is... Suddenly, something pushes me with incredible strength. I try to look back. ...A bear! Ravena's bear? It's definitely a bear, and it looks like... soil? This one looks friendlier than the bear that’s fighting the Black Brothers outside. It must be her spirit or something. She's trying to help me... I guess she doesn't hold it against me now.

With the magic bear's help, I somehow manage to lift my body enough to be on my own two feet, but the area is really much darker now. I take one step after another, until I face that large white door thing. It's shining so brightly, but it's also very cold... I take a deep breath. I think I already know what happened... The truth behind the curse. We were wrong from the start, and for so many years. I fall on my knees in front of it, I glance toward the bear.

"I should be fine now... Thanks."

It leaves with a low growl, and rubs its head against my arm. It feels like warm soil rather than fur, but it's not bad... Right after that, it vanishes, returning to the darkness. I glance down, realizing I can see my arms... or most of them. The dark markings are all over me again, in a familiar pattern. I can't even see the tips of my fingers, they are slowly devoured by the darkness. Oh, Moon Goddess, I might really disappear here. Even more intriguing, though, is the pattern that appeared on my arm. It's not a dark stripe this time but a real magic circle, although I'm unfamiliar with it. The writing is clearly an Earth Witch's doing... One last bit of help from Ravena, perhaps...?

I don't have time to wonder any more. With the bear gone, the cold is getting even worse, and the shadows darker, more menacing... It's time to go. I take a deep breath, and open the white door.

A wave of snow hits me in the face right away.

It's alright; I love snow! I keep running, on all fours, in the dense, magnificent white coat of snow lying before us. My entire pack is running with me. Our group is enjoying itself, progressing like one in the vast area of land. I see the pine trees far ahead, the bright blue sky above. The pups are having fun and trying to keep up with us too. The older wolves are somewhere behind, closing the group... I'm young, and I only care about running, having fun. The snow flies all around us, and we scare a few birds away. The very tall rock far ahead has become our goal, our destination, but we have time before we get there. The sun is high in the sky, and we should hunt by the river first.

I run with my fellow wolves, the young male next to me is the one I like most... No, I love him. I can feel he is my mate... He is a bit different than the others, sometimes wandering around, but I don't really care. He is an Alpha, and perhaps someday he will leave to have his own pack... Will he choose me as his partner? I sure hope so... I am the fastest and largest female of our pack. The other males have tried mating with me, but I'm only interested in one wolf...

Night comes.

I'm tired from our run today, and my belly is full with the results of our hunt. The pups are being nosy a bit farther away... I wish I could have my own someday. Will he let me carry his offspring? Our young ones would be so strong if they are both of ours... I look around, but he's gone off somewhere again... He has been leaving more and more often lately... I can't help but be a bit worried. What if a bear attacks him? Or a human hunter? I get up, and silently leave our group, going to look for him. I miss his smell, but I'm sure I'll find him soon...

I stray through the tall pine trees. The forest is quiet in the darkness of night, and I'm walking silently in the snow... I walk deeper into the forest, looking for my loved one. I hesitate when I smell some human activity. Wood burning... It has to be a human... I also pick up my mate's smell, though.

Suddenly, he appears, alone and safe. Oh, so he is fine... He has that strange smell on him, though, I do not like it... He reunites with me, and we sniff each other, lick each other, checking and exchanging our smell. Oh... we are alone now. Shall I invite him to be just the two of us...? He follows me deeper into the night... So this is it...

I wake up, alone again.

Where is he off to again? Should we stay hidden? Are the humans gone yet? I need to hunt, our pups are hungry... I should go hunt while waiting for him. I go out, this winter is colder than the others... Those human hunters are so scary. I hope they finally leave us alone... I hope my mate returns soon. I bring a rabbit back for our little ones. They are so young and yet so strong already, I am proud of our pups. Soon we will be able to have our own pack and raise them with everyone, far from those scary humans. ...I wonder where my mate is. Did he go to the house with the human female again? I know he likes her, but she smells odd, even for a human one... Is she hoping to tame my mate like men tame dogs? I hope not... I don't like how he acts so submissive with her. He is an Alpha, yet he is so obedient to a human woman...

I silently follow him again. I am just curious... My mate has been smelling so funny lately, even our children have a hard time recognizing their father. He has been bringing more food, but... I wonder why he feels so different now. He knows how to avoid the humans, and where to hunt safely. But I don't recognize my mate, and it pains me so much... I just want to understand what it is he likes so much about that female woman... Is she the one providing him with all that food? It makes my babies happy and safe, but...

He said she is too lonely, so he keeps her company every day... Doesn't that female have a pack of humans with her? Why is she living alone? Is she an Omega...? I keep following my mate, my head full of questions. I have so many questions, and so much worry in my heart.

I hide among the trees, watching them from afar. The woman, and my wolf... They play together, and she looks happy like a young female in love... Is she in love with my mate? She acts like she is... like he's hers. My heart hurts. I step back, a bit scared. I do not understand... We should stay away from humans, so why is he acting like this with that one...?

Suddenly, I see my mate change. Something is so strange with him... He became a human! My mate turned into a human male! What is this…? I'm so scared!

My mate is trying to bring me food, to apologize for making me scared. I am still scared... I am scared for our babies. Why did my mate become a human, and now he is a wolf again? I am so scared... He still goes to the woman, he can't leave her. Why doesn't she have a pack? Why doesn't she have her own mate? What is she doing to my mate…?

My mate is gone, and now he's not coming back.

I have waited many mornings. I looked for him, and I went to the female human's house, but he was gone. Something strange happened to him... I don't know what happened to him. Did he go to the humans forever? Or did a bear kill him? Did the hunters get him? I've waited for so, so long... I'm so scared and lonely. My babies have grown and are all gone now, and my mate is gone too, I am alone... so sad and alone.

This evening, I decide to go and see that woman.

I wonder if she is as lonely as I am... I wanted to just look from afar, but I hear her wailing and I see her tears. She is as sad as me... Wolves howl like wind, and humans cry like rivers when they are sad. I've howled a lot, and she has cried a lot. We are the same, that woman and I... I go a bit closer, to see if her pain is the same as mine, and it is. She has lost her mate too, she has lost her love like I did. We loved the same, and we feel the same sadness now...

I go up to her door, because we are both lonely.

She is scared and angry, at first. She cries and she yells at me, but I’m not scared of that female. I know she was different from the human hunters, from the males. So, I lie down in front of her, and I wait. She talks a lot, human words I cannot understand. I can only understand her sadness and her pain. So, I can only lie here and wait. I have no pups to return to this time, and my mate is gone. Where else would I go...?

She opens and closes the door to her lair several times, speaking to me as if she hopes I'd understand. After a while, though, she calms down. I step forward, and she lets me into her lair, so I go and lie down in the warmest spot, wondering if my mate had once done so.

"...Why are you here?" she says. "You're his mate... Why would you come to me, after what I did? I thought you had come to kill me. ...Aren't you mad? You should be hating me, so why are you... here…?"

I wonder what that human is talking about. I hope she understands. We are both lonely females who once loved the same wolf... Ah... I miss you so much, my dear mate. You and I were fated, weren’t we? I hope I can dream of you again tonight. I want to dream about our races in the snow, back when we were young pups in one pack.

I try to sleep, but I am not used to this lair. The woman stops talking, but she gives me some nice food... It must be good if she agrees to share with me. I didn't even hunt for it. Was she the one who provided food to my mate to feed our babies, all this time? I thought we were lucky he was such a good hunter, even in the coldest winters, or when the humans were out hunting too... I hear her sob again, but I just eat and go back to my sleep. She's a peculiar human... Her house smells like the forest, and so does she. The trees come to her when she moves her hand, and they bloom when she wants. I do not understand everything, but she doesn't try to harm me, so I stay here and ignore what she's doing. It's her lair, after all. I only want to get some sleep, and perhaps, tomorrow we shall hunt together.

After a while, I feel her watching me again. I keep my eyes closed, but I can feel her stare on me. I hear her sob again. How do humans cry so much…? Don't they need that water?

"You're really a strange one... Are you lonely too, now?" she whispers. "I don't deserve another companion... or are wolves such pure creatures that you've already forgiven me for what I did? I don't understand you, wolf..."

That woman is really strange. She's lonelier than I am... I know she didn't have a pack before, but I don't understand how she really doesn't see any humans at all. She seems like a young and strong female. Do human males have no need for her? She is able to feed herself too, although I don't see her hunt. I leave to hunt for myself, but I never see her get any meat for herself, and she doesn't try to take mine.

I know she doesn't trust me. She never shows me her back, and she always looks out for where I am in her lair. She talks a lot too, but I've gotten used to it by now. ...Did she turn my mate into a man so he could understand her? Unless we are old, wolves are not meant to be alone for long. So are humans, I suppose... Yet, this female is always alone. No human ever visits her, which I cannot really understand. Was my mate her only companion? Why doesn't she look for a pack at all? Or does she like her territory too much, perhaps? How peculiar...

Perhaps because I am no longer a young wolf, those quiet days by her side, trying to understand this strange human, are going by faster than I realize. Winter comes back already, the first dashes of snow taking me by surprise. The woman is still wary of me, but she's grown accustomed to my presence. She even shares her food with me, a strange thing as she knows I'm capable of hunting for my own. I think she is trying in her own way to befriend me, but I still can't make up my mind about her. Curiosity about the one my mate seemed so fond of led me here, but after all this time, I still cannot understand. He was the best Alpha of our pack, and yet, he was so strangely drawn to her. What trick did she use to have him stay so long by her side every day? Does she know where he has gone off to?

I still look for him sometimes... I hope he will come back, although there's no sign of him. No trace, no scent, nothing. It breaks my heart over and over that I can't even find a trace of him. Did he become a coat on a human's strange skin like so many other wolves? The humans have been targeting more and more of us.

I follow that woman when she leaves her house each time, with the hope she will guide me to my mate. I know I should have abandoned it by now, but... I don't see what else to do. I long for the sight of his black fur, for his warmth and his beautiful eyes, his strong teeth, his superb figure. He was so strong and fierce... Oh, I miss him so much.

Each time, the woman stops in front of a strange little stone that makes me feel... odd. I do not understand the way of humans. Why does she need to cry over a stone? She talks a lot too, each time we're there, but she goes silent when we go back to her warm and large lair. I wish I could understand what she says... She's begun talking more and more to me now, with a lot less crying. Her eyes don't seem so fearful or defiant when she looks at me now; we are not enemies, and I don't have a reason to attack her. She hasn't harmed me, she just acts like a lone wolf. I just don't want her to touch me. I am no dog, I shall not let a human pet me. I only growled once, as a warning, when I felt her hands on my fur, and she's kept off of it since. At least she understands the wolves, it seems, better than I understand her human ways...

"...What is it you want, by staying here?"

There she goes again... It's late, and I just want to fall asleep by this nice, warm, burning fire she set up. That woman gets a lot more chatty once the sun sets, for some reason. During the day, she just does thing after thing, merely saying a few words once in a while, and I go hunting, but when I come back and I just want to enjoy my meal by the fire, she starts. Again.

"I do not understand you, wolf... You don't seem to hate me or fear me. What is it you're here for? ...Don't you hold any resentment, after what I did to you and your mate? To your children..."

Sigh. I know she'll just stop after a while and go to bed once she starts crying a little...

Not today, though. What is she doing? She stands up so quickly, it takes me by surprise, and she starts doing things, moving her stuff around and making a lot of that strangeness that characterizes her. Things appear in the air, and I don't like this. Birds don't come out of nowhere, but this woman has things appearing all over her house! Plus, there's all this strange noise too, a rumbling as if dozens of sneaky moles were running under us! What is it...

"...You're doing?"

Wha-...?

I look down, and there are... human legs underneath me. Did a human appear out of nowhere? I try to step back, but I fall down instead! What is going on? I can't... control my body properly!

"What is... human..."

"Calm down."

I look up at that woman staring down at me. Did I just... understand what she said? Not just that, I... actually understand her words.

"What is this? That?"

Is that me talking like a human? What a strange thing! I feel my throat and mouth so different, and every part of my body too, it... doesn't move like it used to.

"You... turned me human?"

I can't believe I am talking like a human, and... with the body of a human! Oh, why are they furless if they are so cold and their skin so strange?! I feel like a dead fish! I keep moving around, trying to find some sort of balance, falling, and falling again. This is so annoying! I put my paws... hands down, and look up at that woman.

"What is this?!"

"I needed to talk to you directly, and this is much more efficient," she says. "...Are you alright?"

"No! I'm... a human, how could that be alright?!"

She rolls her eyes, a gesture that I know means she is unhappy. I don't care if she's unhappy, she is the one who turned me into a human! She moves and hands me a blanket.

"What is that for?"

"To cover yourself! You're naked."

"Well, bring my fur back, then! I'm cold!"

"The blanket is for that. I promise I'll teach you how to turn back into a wolf once you answer my questions."

Oh, so she did this to me because she has questions to ask? This human woman is impossible! I didn't ask for her questions, but she turned me into a human just so she could ask them! What odd human way of thinking is that?!

I grab the blanket and cover myself with it anyway, because I am cold and I miss my pretty, comfortable fur. Where did it even go, and how did she do that? I've seen her do that thing to my mate before, but I didn't realize how strange it is! I really feel terrible in another skin, why did my mate do this?

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here after my hunt and I sat here."

"No, I mean, why are you in my house, with me?"

"You opened the door for me!"

"That's not what I... Why do you always come back here, to be with me? Why do you spend time with me, why... don't you hate me?"

Now she has tons of questions! I liked it better when I couldn't understand her at all! She was noisy before but it's worse when I know why she makes all those noises...

"I do not hate you," I say. "I don't hate you. I don't understand why you want me to hate you. I don't hate, I'm a wolf."

"You must hold some sort of resentment!"

Resentment, what is that now? I try to think, and this... strange new human mind translates for me. Ah, anger, hatred. So many negative emotions... How do humans even come up with such thoughts? I feel like my whole head has expanded to many things I just didn't need, and now they are all annoyingly filling my head.

I have anger at the rabbit that manages to escape me, but it doesn't last. If it's gone, it's gone, what is the point of resentment? It's better to move on to the next prey. I still don't understand humans... I shake my head, and something moves on my shoulder... Oh, hair. Well, I still have some, then... It is the same color as my fur... I push it out of the way, a bit disturbed that it's so long and in one place rather than well distributed all around my body.

"Answer me!"

I growl back. Don't shout at me, or I'll bite you, human woman! She acts like an Omega trying to pass as an Alpha, even dogs have a better attitude than that!

"I don't know what this resentment thing is," I say. "Your human ways are too complicated. I came here because we are two females alone. I came to look for my mate, but he is not with you. I don't know where he is, so I stayed. I don't have a reason to leave. You shared your food with me."

Oh, all those words come out flowing without me having to think much, which is new. The thinking, I mean, not all that loud words thing. I'm sure howling and growling is much more efficient, but now, I have so many words coming out, and so many thoughts... How do humans deal with all of this? I feel like all my usual basic needs have been... surrounded by dozens of others! How do they take care of all that? I thought humans were strange, but it turns out they have a lot of different needs to them, perhaps why they do so many strange things all day!

"You... don't know?" she mutters.

"Don't know what?"

Now that I am the one asking, she goes silent. Oh, humans, always so complicated! Nevermind. I look down on this strange body... Should I try to stand like her? I feel like a pup trying to find her balance, but this cannot be so complicated if they walk on two legs all day... Oh, indeed, it comes rather naturally. How funny, and... how tall! So this is how humans see the world, is it? Even the objects around me have changed... or is it because of my eyes? I feel like I see more colors than before, but... how do they watch for enemies? I can only look forward and I have to turn my head so many times! So annoying... Do they not fear to be hunted at all?

"Then... why... why are you here, staying with me?" she asks again. "Don't you have a... pack, or pups?"

"No. I wanted to have a new pack with my mate, but he is gone. My pups have all grown and gone too. I don't need to mother them anymore."

It is strange, though, how I suddenly miss my children. They should be all grown up and fine, but... I feel the need to see them again. Is that why female humans mother their offspring for so long? I had noticed they keep them for several winters, and their little ones are slow to grow too!

"What did my mate like about being human?" I ask, struggling to formulate my thoughts.

Mara!

"What?"

"What?"

She stares at me oddly.

What did I just... Did I hear something? It didn't come from this woman, but I felt like... Did I forget something? I feel like I... or, maybe I... I can't tell... What was that again? Did it... say something? What was that strange... word…?

No, it must be this strange human body again. I need to adapt to it better...

"He liked that we could... discuss," she says. "He was curious about us, humans. About my powers as a witch. Your mate wanted to find ways to understand humans, to protect you... to protect the wolves."

"What is a witch? Is that a hunter?"

Oh, no, the words don't match. It's strange having a vocabulary, yet a lot of words just come out as I think, not because I actually understand them... So, so strange. She sighs, and gets up, crossing her arms.

"I am a witch, a human with... special abilities. I was born with it, and it makes me stronger than the humans."

"Why aren't you the Alpha of your pack then? Why don't you have a pack?"

"Human packs are different from wolf packs. They fear the stronger ones, so they... cast them out of their packs. I've never been with a human group for long; they avoid me."

"Humans are truly too strange and illogical. Did he succeed?"

"What?"

"My mate. Did he find a way to protect the wolves from the human hunters? Is that why he left? Don't you know where he went?"

Her strange skin suddenly changes color, going whiter. She looks down like a wolf showing submission. I haven't tried to attack her, though. She slowly shakes her head, another gesture I don't really understand.

"N-no, he... he couldn't. I... I made him change into a man, a human man so he could... see and understand humans better, but he... he wanted to be stronger and find ways to fight hunters off your territory. He... he didn't succeed."

I feel sad. Did my mate leave to find another way, then? Did he find another human, and decide to stay with them instead? I don't think so... I've seen a lot of human groups and he wasn't with them. Everything brings me back here instead. I don't understand.

"...Do you want me to teach you?"

"Teach me?"

"How to be powerful... how to be a witch. If I can... give you my powers, you'll be stronger, like your mate wanted. This way, you can... do what he wanted, and we can stay together."

"I don't understand. You said my mate didn't succeed."

"I can make you a witch! Witches are only... females, that's why your mate didn't succeed in what he wanted to do."

"...Will my mate come back if I become a witch?"

She takes a deep breath.

"We... we can try," she says. "If... if you become a witch like me, and we are both powerful enough, then... perhaps... perhaps we can make your mate come back."

Mara!

I turn my head. ...Who is calling me? No, they're not calling me, that's not my... What is my name? Oh, I'm a wolf. I don't have a name. Why did I think this was my name...?

"What's my name?" I ask the human.

"I don't know. I mean, you're a wolf... You probably don't have one."

"I see... What is your name then? Humans have names?"

"Yes... My name is Luna."

"Alright, then, I like it."

"What?"

"That name. You can call me that."

She makes a strange sound with her mouth.

"That's my name, you can't take it!"

"Why not? I don't have one and you do. It doesn't leave you, either. If you can share your food, you can share your name. So I'll be Luna too."

She lets out a long sigh.

"I feel like you'll have a long way to understand being a human before being a witch..."

"You're the one who made me one, aren’t you? So now, teach me so we can make my mate come back, Luna."

"I understand... Luna."