Page 22 of His Blazing Witch (The Silver City #3)

A wave of relief comes over me after hearing those words. I don't know if I was waiting for some confirmation, but now that I have it, it feels so much better to be sitting next to him.

We are still staring at each other, but this time, there's no awkwardness, no embarrassment. Only a bit of shyness, and the mutual feeling that we are alright being here together. Liam gives me a weak smile and grabs the box to pull it closer, breaking our eye contact first.

I don't take my eyes off him.

He didn't lie when he said werewolves know how to treat bites... I watch him as he carefully takes care of my injury. He cleans the dried blood with a wipe, disinfects it, checks how deep it is, and carefully applies some sort of balm over the little holes. I can tell he's done this a few times before. I frown as he applies some gel; that stuff stings. Liam notices my grimace and makes an apologetic expression.

"Sorry, I know this one isn't too nice, but it's efficient."

"You're speaking from experience?"

"Yeah... You're not the first victim of a temperamental werewolf."

I can tell he knows exactly what he's talking about.

Liam is still half-naked, and under the lights, I see the thin lines of some old scars. It wasn't too visible under the rain and dark clouds, but now, I can clearly distinguish the whiter lines on his body. There's a lot, it's even covering a very simple black moon tattoo he's got on his chest. The black moon tattoo looks old and its original shape is damaged from all the scars covering it... I can't take my eyes off of it. A lot of them look like animal bites, but... some seem worse and with a different shape, like he was stabbed with a sword or something. The most impressive one is on his flank, and there's another one a bit below his other arm.

"...Did you get those during the war?" I ask.

He slowly nods.

Once again, that war is like a dark shadow over all the inhabitants of Silver City. His blind eye too... Even if its movements are almost normal, the white layer over the blue-gray color cannot be missed. The scar over it as well. I realize I can stare at Liam for so long because he doesn't know I am. From the way we are sitting, I'm in his blind spot. It's a bit shameful, so I get self-conscious and look down at my hand on the table.

He gently blows on the gel covering my injury for it to dry. The movement of his lips throws me for a loop again. I need to stop staring at them, it's dangerous. I'm getting hot and I don't know if this is something I can contain.

"Alright..." he says.

He grabs some bandages, and gently takes my hand, wrapping it slowly and carefully. The movement of his fingers around my hand is driving me nuts. He's just touching my hand, but every time he does, it sends more of those amazing sparks into my soul, and this warmth spreads fast. I want to smile, jump, scream, do something to let the excitement out. I'll go crazy, at this rate. Yet, I love this. A new kind of fire is about to burn every time our skin touches, and it's strangely addicting.

I let him finish, my throat terribly dry. I even try to focus on the little bit of pain left because I need something to cool down my imagination. I'm always on edge, wondering if I'm crazy, or if I can hope, even just a little. It's very strange. I am not sure of anyone since I woke up, yet Liam is there, eclipsing everyone else, and I'm irresistibly pulled toward him.

"Does it still hurt?"

When he suddenly looks up at me, I almost jump, like an idiot. I nod, even though it's a lie. That damn bite still hurts despite the medication and all the bandages. He smiles a bit, looking a little relieved.

"Good. I'm really... sorry, Mara. But I told you, werewolves can be really dangerous. When we are mad and about to attack, aside from our peers, we're a bit... on edge with everyone."

"I get it, but... I didn't really think before holding you back, either. I just didn't want you to attack her."

He frowns.

"Mara, Ravena isn't going to help you," he says, standing up to walk to the kitchen.

I stand up and follow him, unable to remain seated and wait. It's a big kitchen, but the only thing Liam seems to use is the microwave... and the kettle, which he's now filling with tap water. I'm about to cross my arms when I remember my injury. I sigh.

"I'm a big girl, I'm not going to trust her out of the blue just because she's a witch..."

"It's not just about that. She may use you to get into Silver City. By the way, how did you...?"

"The border? It's full of holes, and getting weaker too. I just found one I could slip through."

Liam looks more shocked than I thought he would. Doesn't he already know this? He makes a sour expression and glares at the boiling kettle for a few seconds. After a while, though, he seems to calm down by himself.

"I see."

That's all he says, and the silence invades the room again. A bit at a loss, I watch him take the shopping bag and take out some big plastic cups. Instant ramen? I chuckle, but I'm hungry, I'd eat anything. Moreover, there isn't just one, but five cups, and he took the biggest ones too. I watch him pour water in all of them before putting the lids back on. ...Is he seriously going to eat all that?

He sees my confused expression and chuckles.

"Sorry, werewolf appetite. I got one for you, though. I mean, two even, if you're hungry..."

He looks a bit unsure and nervous now, but it's my turn to chuckle.

"Witch stomachs are pretty normal, I'd say. I'm good with one, as long as you leave me the spiciest noodles."

"Deal."

We both chuckle after that, and I sit up on the kitchen counter, waiting for our noodles to be ready. It doesn't smell really tasty yet, but as we're waiting like idiots in front of the cups, I realize I am a bit hungry. I glance toward Liam again. He looks tired, but judging from the glances he keeps sending at the time on the stove, he's hungrier.

A few more seconds pass, but once again, I'm a bit too impatient. I have so many questions, as usual, and... I don't like the awkward atmosphere when we are not talking.

"Liam... What was Ravena talking about earlier?" I ask. "I know about mates, but... she said something about witches can't be... fated mates. What does that mean?"

Liam suddenly stares at me, looking a bit more shocked than necessary. Did I say something wrong? The way he's staring at me, he looks really... shaken up, so much so that I almost regret my question, and worry about something gone wrong instead. After a while, he averts his eyes, as if he couldn't look at me. I'm... even more confused now. I see him run his fingers through his hair, looking a bit unsure.

"It's... It kind of bothers me too."

"How so?"

Still avoiding my eyes, he glances outside. The dark skies are turning darker as the night starts to fall. I hadn't realized how late it is now, but we had a busy day indeed, with the search at Sylviana's house and those rides through Silver City. Liam sighs a bit, with an expression I can't decipher. I wish I could get into his head like those voices in mine and see what's going on. What he thinks, where his mind is at. After some more long seconds, he goes to one of the drawers to grab some chopsticks and comes back to put them between us on the counter. He leans against the kitchen counter and starts playing with one of the bamboo sticks between his fingers. ...Isn't he going to put on a T-shirt at all?

"It's a... werewolf thing," he sighs.

"I'm all ears," I reply, not letting him off the hook.

Liam finally glances at me, but I'm not dumb. He either says too much or not enough, and we're getting to the bottom of it. He makes a bit of a sour expression before opening his mouth again.

"In... the werewolf culture, we all abide by the belief that the Moon Goddess oversees everything going on in our lives. She... decides our ranks, how strong and healthy we are at birth, stuff like that. The most important thing for us is the mates' bond, though."

"It's when two werewolves get together as a couple, right?"

"It doesn't have to be... two werewolves, but yes. We consider that when we have found our lifetime partner, we have to bond with them, to mark them."

"Mark them?"

He nods and taps his nape with his finger.

"Yeah, here. We bite them while we are... mating."

Oh, wow. I take a second to take that information in, hoping I'm not blushing as much as I think I am.

"A bit... savage."

He chuckles.

"A little bit. However, a marking is sacred to werewolves. There is no turning back once it's done, so... better get it right the first time, because it's also the last."

It does sound like a lifetime thing. If they bite each other the same way Liam bit me, on purpose and in such a place, it probably doesn't disappear easily... It must be freaking painful too, better not get it wrong. I can't help but think it's still a bit... gruesome.

"What if the mate isn't a werewolf?"

"We usually mark them too, it's a bit of a territorial thing, but they don't really need to mark us back. A werewolf will be faithful to the mate he or she has marked anyway."

I slowly nod. I do remember seeing those distinct bite markings on some werewolves we've met... Not that I was staring at those areas in particular, but it's a rather visible spot, not really hidden or anything. Especially for men, as I guess female werewolves have theirs covered by their long hair. I didn't think it had such a deep meaning until now, though. I unconsciously touch my own neck, caressing the naked area of my nape. I wonder why they picked such an area to bite their partners. I still think it ought to be rather painful...

"So... what about this fated mate's thing?"

Liam clenches his fingers a bit more, almost breaking the bamboo stick between his fingers. The younger Black brother looks a bit tense, and even more unable to look my way. Once again, my heartbeat accelerates, making me worry about what he has to say about this.

"It's something a bit more... instinctive. Since we are young, we are told that the Moon Goddess has chosen someone for us, our fated person who is supposed to be our perfect mate. Our fated mate."

For a second, I feel the strange need to laugh nervously, but all I can do is grimace. ...Is there really such a thing? I mean, the mating thing is already a bit alien to me, but this is on a different level. Liam sighs.

"It's real," he says, as if he was reading my mind. "We have some sort of... special instinct that allows us to feel who our fated mate is."

"Like a radar?" I ask, confused.

He chuckles nervously and shakes his head.

"No, it's... it's something a bit deeper than that. It's like some... bundle of feelings that come all at once and grips you from the inside. You just know, when you see them, that this person is for you. It's a higher form of attraction, a pull you can't resist. It's... It gives you everything you imagined and worse. Sparks every time you touch that person, crazy feelings about wanting to be with them, yet wanting to run away."

...Now that sounds familiar. A bit too familiar, actually...

"It... sounds like you have felt that..." I mutter with a blank voice.

My head is ringing like crazy, and my heart even more.

Why does everything he's talking about perfectly reflect what I've been feeling for him all this time? I don't get it. I'm not imagining this, am I? It's not just my own expectation? The spark, the push and pull, that desire to see him again... I don't think I would have explained it differently, but hearing it from Liam's mouth is worse. I'm going nuts and in an absolute panic right now from the way he described it. Should I tell him? And would he believe me anyway? I can't even breathe normally, I feel like crying and screaming. I'm not a werewolf, so just... how? And why? Why the hell would I feel that fated bond thing?

I see him slowly nod. I'm glad he's avoiding my eyes right now because I can't contain my emotions and I'm probably not hiding them well either.

"I... I've been feeling that way for a little while now," he admits.

Oh, gosh, Moon Goddess or whatever, this is it. If she is the one deciding this thing, it has to be reciprocated, right? I suddenly stand up and back away, a bit at a loss.

"Mara?" he calls me, surprised.

I shake my head, and cross my arms around me, careful of my injury as if to protect myself. I shake my head as if everything was normal, as if I just needed to take a walk. The window. I need some fresh air. I walk over to see what part I can open, even if it lets some rain in. I need to breathe or I'll just suffocate and break down right here. I hear him come behind me, but I don't turn around. I can't face him yet.

"How... how can you be sure?" I ask, almost gasping for air.

"I... I just know, Mara, it's not really something you can ignore. To be honest, I... I already knew what it’s supposed to feel like. Both of my older brothers experienced it already, so they told me about it."

"With their wives?"

"Well, yes and no... Nora was Damian's fated mate. It was a bit different for Selena and Nate."

I nod, but I don't need the details right now. I guess it's not exactly always a highway to getting with your perfect person or something. It just can't be that simple. Yet, here I am, walking in circles, alone in a room with a guy who could be my... fated mate. Gosh, even to me it sounds absolutely crazy. I'm not a werewolf, it doesn't work that way. Even Ravena said it. I can't decide to go back to the table or look at him, so I just take deep breaths in front of the window.

"Mara, are you alright?"

"What if you don't want it?" I ask. "What if... you're paired with some bitch, someone you hate, or someone you can't date? I don't know, someone super old, or... someone you can't love."

"...A fated bond can be rejected."

So that's it. He can just... reject this, refuse it? Ignore those feelings, throw them away like some dirtbag? If so, why... why wouldn't he have done that already? I'm in a state of panic and confusion I can't describe. Fear crawls into my mind like another shadow I don’t need. What if Liam rejects me? Or what if he's just been testing me all along, waiting to see if he should throw me away or not?

If he's feeling like I do, why didn't he tell me earlier? He could have said something, but instead, he kept pushing me away, avoiding me. And now, does that mean he only cares because of that stupid bond thing? Is he chained by it, unable to deny this? Maybe he doesn't feel it, I'm the one making a scene for nothing and getting all worked up. I keep thinking of so many scenarios, and the more I do, the more frightened I am. I feel like something is crumbling inside, someone is... whimpering. I try to ignore that sound in my head, like some wounded animal, but it just echoes my heart perfectly.

I don't feel well. I'm a bit dizzy, and I need to do something about it. I take one last deep breath, and I turn to him.

"Is it me? Your fated mate, is it me?"

In other circumstances, that shocked expression of his may have been funny, but I don't feel like laughing at all right now. My heart is about to burst or collapse, I don't know. It's just thumping like crazy. I turn around to face him, to see when he will answer me, but now, I'm regretting it a bit. The answer doesn't come, Liam just stares at me with that dumbfounded expression. I know what that means, though. I nod, shocked despite what I already knew.

"So I was right... I'm your fated mate," I mutter.

"H-how do you..."

"Sorry to break it to you, but you just made it kind of obvious, on top of everything else," I chuckle nervously. "Come on, you appearing at random times when I was in a bad position? Patronizing me, trying to run away from me, yet always being around somehow? What does it sound like to you?"

He closes his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair, a bit at a loss. I can't blame him, I'm not too comfortable having this discussion either. I feel like we're jumping too many steps at once, going from a walk to one crazy sprint. Like we're about to hit a wall. It's all going a bit too fast for me, hence my erratic heartbeat and dizziness. I'm not feeling well, and I'm crazy with the fear he might... reject me. Because that's what it all comes down to. I don't want Liam to reject me, and I'm scared I've just flipped a switch I'm going to regret flipping. Once again, I spoke without thinking twice. I've just thrown my own feelings out into the open... If this is what I'm feeling now for him, what will it feel like when he rejects me?

He massages his eyes for a brief moment, and finally, lets out a long sigh.

"Yeah, that's... right. You're... my fated mate," he says.

Even if I was almost fully sure, I still feel a little bit relieved to hear that. Thank the Moon Goddess I'm not the crazy one... I nod slowly, but that leaves one big question between us. I'm not really sure how to ask, but Liam actually speaks first.

"Mara, I didn't mean to hide it from you, but it's... it was too sudden for me. I didn't know how to deal with it, and..."

"Why didn't you just reject me?"

My question seems to shock him. He raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms.

"Why? Did you expect me to reject you?"

"...Sorta," I mumble.

He stares at me as if he is trying to understand the mess I am inside. It's hard to justify myself and every question I ask, but I really need to. I don't want more secrets, I'd rather have it all out in the open and face the pain. I don't think I've ever doubted myself this much before, but faced with the idea that Liam might reject me, I'm... petrified. It leaves too much uncertainty, and I don't want to be focusing all of my feelings on a guy I barely know just because some unknown entity made us infatuated with each other.

Liam takes a deep breath and clears his throat a bit.

"Alright, I'll admit, I did think of... rejecting you."

Wow, just hearing that hurts a bit too much... I nod. I had expected that much, at least. He would have definitely been lying if he said he didn't consider it. Some amnesiac witch, hot-tempered and dangerous at times? Yeah, I'd probably consider the emergency exit too.

I want to step back, away from him, but he actually steps forward before I do.

"But... I don't want to regret doing that," he resumes. "Mara, I've seen both of my brothers go through the whole thing. I know it's not easy, but... I also know it can be pretty damn good if it works out. Even before I met Sylviana, I always thought I'd make an effort if I met my fated mate. Among werewolves, it's a really, really rare thing to happen. Those who do meet their fated one have the luck a hundred others only dream of having. I'd be an asshole if I didn't even consider that much."

"Still," I say, "it's not like you won the lottery. I'm not exactly the best... girlfriend material."

He chuckles and tilts his head.

"Mara, to begin with, we barely know each other. And you barely know yourself. That's the other reason I decided not to reject you. The Moon Goddess... She does things for a reason. I believe Nora and Damian found each other because they really needed that person. I... Yes, I know it's one surprising match that you're my fated mate. Still, I don't want to be that douchebag who says no before he has any idea who his partner is. Maybe... maybe there's a reason we don't know yet. Sure, you're not exactly who I imagined. The reason I considered rejecting the bond is that you're a witch, we don't know the first thing about you, and honestly, you're a piece of work when you’re stubborn."

Yep, that's all of me in one sentence... At least I can't say he's not being honest with me. I wrap my arms around myself once again, waiting for the rest of it. I can't decipher his expression right now. His voice is surprisingly gentle, but this whole time, he's barely looked at me. Although, his feet do draw him closer, one step at a time.

"But... I'm fine with... trying to get to know you."

I raise my eyes. Seriously? I wouldn't have blamed him if he had decided to reject me after this conversation... After we both came clean with what the hell is going on with our feelings.

"I know it's not even that big of a deal because you can't feel the fated bond thing, but..."

I breathe in and bite my thumb, a bit embarrassed.

"Yeah, uh... Liam, about that..."

"What?" he asks, frowning.

"I think I... feel it too," I confess.

He pauses for a second, a bit surprised, before chuckling nervously.

"You can't, Mara, even if you're a witch. It's a werewolf thing. It's not..."

"I'm serious, Liam. The whole... sparks, the pull, the heart beating crazy and wanting you very strongly regardless of whether you're actually there or not. I may not... feel it with the same intensity as you do, but... I swear I’ve felt that way since we met too."

Liam shakes his head with a rictus.

"No, you can't. If it was the case, you'd have felt me when I was–"

“In the nightclub," I say. "The night I met Selena and her husband. You were there, right?"