Page 32 of His Blazing Witch (The Silver City #3)

I keep tossing and turning in my bed, unable to find sleep. The room is completely dark, though, only a glimmer of light comes in through my curtains. I'm staring at the moonlight, my heart filled with questions. It must be pretty late... I sigh again, I really don't feel sleepy at all. I glance down and curled up next to me, Spark is there. The black and gold magic cat is sleeping innocently, his fur moving with his breathing. Even after I've been petting him for what feels like hours, I can't sleep a wink...

Too many things happened today. I keep reminiscing about my night with Liam, and everything we talked about. I miss the feeling of his arms around me, the gentle look in his eyes. His eyes are always so expressive, even if one is basically dead. I even forget he's half-blind sometimes. I just get lost in them, in the way they change color without warning, how good they are at expressing his feelings. But then, there was that attack at the harbor, and the look in his eyes when we parted... Something hurts inside every time I remember that scene, his back as he walked away. I felt abandoned, although I had agreed to it. I feel a strange echo of my feelings. Sorrow, angst, that feeling of somebody abandoning us. Who is us?

I wish we could have gone to the cemetery today, right after talking to Lysandra Jones. However, Bonnie told us it was closed, and she insisted we all go home for today. To be honest, I would have probably attempted to get in anyway if I hadn't been worried about Kelsi and feeling really, really tired myself. Bonnie checked our injuries at home, and I fell asleep without realizing, completely exhausted as I was. I woke up in the late afternoon, and the four of us had dinner, but the topic of discussion was all about today's discoveries. Although we learned nothing really new just by talking and making countless theories about it, I was happy to see the three of them basically taking my side of things on each matter, and genuinely trying to help me figure it out. Moreover, everyone carefully avoided talking about Liam. The twins probably understand how deeply our bond affects me and the issue with the name Mara that comes with it...

No matter what, I don't believe he and I are related in any way. It just wouldn't make sense... However, everything we found out so far points to Judah Black being Mara's biological father.

Something inside me tells me this is completely wrong. I just know it. I need to find out why, a clue. Nephera was many things, but if I've learned one thing, she was a smart and cunning witch. Would she have had a child with a man she loathed in the end? Would she have kept the baby? I remember that dream I had, at Liam's place... What was that? Was it memories of Mara or Clarissa? I sigh. I need answers.

I get up, waking up a grumpy Spark, who doesn't appreciate it. I check my markings by reflex, but they look fine. As expected, the cold patches Bonnie gave me already calmed down the burning sensation.

That's another thing. The Water Witch implied I wasn't using my magic correctly, I was getting burned more than I should... for a Fire Witch. It does make sense. From what I've experienced so far, I get two types of burns: the real burns from fires that aren't mine, like the one in the building before I woke up and from the fire a few nights ago. Then, there are those black marks. They burn like regular burns, but they are black on my skin, and they look different. Both heal faster than normal, though. Should I be healing even faster? Or is there one kind I shouldn't be suffering from at all?

I crouch down, rolling up the carpet to reveal the circle. Should I use it again? I'm seriously tempted, but I've probably exhausted my magic for now. Maybe tomorrow morning, once my markings have reduced more...

"Meow..."

Spark is rubbing his body against my leg, but his head is turned toward the door. Is someone up? Kelsi and Bonnie are sleeping together next door... Is Ben up, then?

I step out of my room, and indeed, Ben is up. He's sitting on our little balcony, staring at the moon. I silently walk over to him, a bit curious. He has left his phone on the couch, and he's just outside, with a deep expression.

"Hey," I say.

He turns his head to me, visibly surprised. I realize his eyes are red and teary. Was he crying? He clumsily rubs his eyes and sniffles, trying to act normal.

"Hey," he replied. "You're up too?"

"Yeah... I think I napped too much. I can't sleep."

It would be a bit awkward if I left now, so I just grab the other chair and sit on it. Spark immediately jumps on my lap to make himself comfortable and resume his sleep. Ben looks a bit embarrassed and avoids my gaze, staring away. For a little while, we stay silent. I feel sorry I caught him crying. That's not the Ben I know...

"...I can't sleep either," he finally says.

"Well, we had a pretty big day."

"Yeah... but once again, I was worthless."

I'm surprised to hear Ben being so harsh on himself. He's usually so... joyful and encouraging, I never thought I'd hear him say something like that.

"Ben, what are you saying, you... you protected Kelsi during the attack."

"Have you seen her forehead?"

"It's not that bad..."

However, he keeps shaking his head.

"No, it's bad, Mara. Kelsi is human. She isn't a werewolf or a witch. She doesn't heal easily like us. What if she gets a scar? It's going to be all my fault."

"Ben, she followed me," I retorted. "If anything, you're the one who tried to stop us. I'm the one to blame, Kelsi refused to go back inside the diner because I stayed outside. I'm to blame, and she's a bit to blame too."

He sighs loudly, and the way his shoulders fall, I know I haven't been convincing enough. Why is he being like this tonight? He seemed okay this afternoon. Or was it all an act? Is he the type to brood when he's alone?

"...Ben, you're doing a good job, you know."

"Stop lying, Mara. It's nice of you, but I am not that dumb to think I'm anything you can call a good bodyguard."

I stay silent. I'm not good at comforting people, and I really don't know what to tell him. I feel sorry for Ben because I'm probably not the easiest witch to watch in the first place. Maybe Bonnie was a bit too harsh on him this afternoon too without realizing it. He was dragged into this morning's mess, and anyway, Kelsi could have been hurt either way. She's a human sticking to a witch and a pair of werewolves. I've come to love her, as my first and best friend, but she's just about as stubborn and reckless as I am, and it's really not the best combo.

"Bonnie was right... I'm a shitty excuse for a Beta," he sighs.

I feel like if we had any alcohol in the house, he'd be drinking right now, and I don't really like that.

"Bonnie can be harsh with her words sometimes. She scolded me a lot too..."

"No, she's... You know, she's my twin. She knows me better than anyone in this world, and when she says I suck, I truly believe it. The truth is, I... I haven't really been myself for a while. I know Selena gave me this job as a... way to make myself useful, to prove myself, but I haven't been up to the task lately. I've disappointed my Alpha, my sister, and myself. I just... don't really know what I want anymore."

So this isn't just... about me or Kelsi. I look down at Spark, who's shamelessly purring and making himself comfortable there.

"Then... what do you not want?"

He frowns and looks at me, a bit lost.

"What?"

"You said you don't know what you want. What do you not want, then? Let's start there."

Ben sighs, but he eventually nods, and goes back to staring at tonight's full moon.

"For you girls to be hurt. Kelsi, you, my sis... If anything happened to you guys, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself. I'd feel like... I truly failed him this time."

"...Your older brother?" I guess.

"Yeah... Moon Goddess, I fucking miss him so much... I feel like... I feel like I've lost my way since Levi's death. That I'm worthless."

"I feel like you all really, really loved him."

"He was the best older brother, Mara," he says, looking at me with a little smile. "Levi was kind, strong, fucking brave... The kind of guy everyone wants as their brother. He was like that to our whole pack. He would have been Selena's Beta. To me, he was my older brother, the one I was always looking up to. There's a fucking void in our family since Levi's gone, and in me too. You know, since Levi was so perfect, and Daniel is the total study nerd, a beast of a brain, I was fine being the goofy third brother. Just making the family smile on hard days, spending time with our little brother, making Bonnie, who's the most serious and stiff, loosen up sometimes too. Now, everything is just... so fucked up."

I can imagine that, if their older brother was such a great guy... It does feel like he left a big void behind.

"Until you experience it yourself, you feel like... When someone dies, it just hurts when they pass. Maybe a bit after the funeral, and then a bit of time later. I realized this is bullshit. You can never forget. You just... learn to live with that fucking hole in your life. It's not like someone's going to replace them, or things get better after a set amount of time. It never does. I... How do I keep being the goofy brother, if no one feels like laughing anymore? Bonnie wasn't so harsh before, and she wasn't one to get mad at someone. Even Selena. She's changed. Everyone has changed, and I don't know what I should change into."

I can hear his voice cracking, but Ben doesn't let go and cry. Instead, he looks... angry. I don't know at what; maybe at himself, or at his deceased older brother, or at the Moon Goddess. I keep staring at him, surprised to see him so mature. I had forgotten Ben was an adult too under his usual laidback and cheerful attitude.

I let out a long sigh, a bit at a loss on what to tell him. It's hard to advise someone in a position I've never been myself...

"You know, I like the cheerful you."

He glances at me, surprised.

"You mean the one that lets you get away with pretty much everything you shouldn't?"

I can't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, there's a bit of that too. But, you know... I don't think your family will resent you for staying you. Even if it's hard for them to smile or laugh, at the moment. There was a time I was pretty depressed, at the hospital, you know. The days are very, very long when you stay between four walls, with no family to visit you. Bonnie couldn't be there all the time, and she was my nurse, not exactly there to be my friend. However, the fact that Kelsi visited so often... She didn't have to, but she spent so much time there. I know no one likes to visit hospitals. It's... unfamiliar, buzzing with people between life and death and people who don't have time to care about you. The cold white walls, the smell of disinfected rooms and weird products... Still, Kelsi always came to see me and never complained. She was always smiling, overflowing with joy, excited for new research or something. I think... I think this is exactly what people going through shit need."

I can't help but smile a bit, reminiscing about our days together in that hospital room. I was always so looking forward to when she'd come and visit. Wondering what stupid outfit she'd have on that day, if she had found anything new... Maybe that's also why I was quick to forgive her about those texts. I knew Kelsi couldn't really be bad, just... wrong.

I glance down and pet the ball of fur on my lap. Spark doesn't care about our moonlight discussion, he's just wrapped up in a perfect bundle with only his tail out. Ben is looking down too, but I know he's listening to my words.

"From... someone like me, it may sound odd, but I really think we need all kinds of people in this world. You don't have to worry about how your parents or siblings deal with the loss. That's something you cannot do anything about, and they'll overcome it themselves in some way. But... I think it's sadder if they lose the goofy Ben too. I think Levi would be happy, if you keep trying to make them smile, if you keep being yourself. It's just... okay, Ben. Things are hard enough without your brother, you don't need to add pressure on yourself too. If you do your best, that's all we need."

He slowly nods, but stays silent a very long while. I don't mind, though. I don't think I'm the best listener, and probably not the best person to give advice to people. It was more of my own personal opinion than any real advice too. I just needed to tell Ben what I really thought of him.

I don't really care that he's not a good bodyguard, or if he messes up. I do too. I actually like it better that he's letting me do what I want most of the time, and regrets it later. How much longer would it take for me to find my answers if I had someone constantly on my back, watching me from up close and preventing me from doing what I needed to, keeping me away from where I had to go? In a way, I was lucky. Or maybe, Selena knew exactly what kind of werewolf should be with me. I don't think she overestimated Ben. Or maybe, she underestimated me instead...

"...Thank you, Mara."

Ben has a faint smile on, but at least it's a smile, and he does look a little bit better now. He takes a deep breath.

"I think I needed to hear that... and from someone who wasn't from my family."

"You're welcome," I reply. "I'll send you my bill as a therapist?"

"Very funny..." he chuckles, "but you're right. Maybe I've been... putting too much pressure on myself lately. Selena was never mad at me either, not really. I just think we're all... trying to figure out where we are now, what to do."

"Trust me, I know the feeling," I sigh.

"...Don't worry, girl."

I turn to him, a bit surprised, but Ben gives me a faint smile.

"You have us. Even if... you don't get all the answers you want, or those you want to hear, at least you have us. Kelsi, Bonnie, and I. We are not just here because we feel like we have to, you know. You're one hell of a spunky witch and I love that."

I find myself chuckling at those words. They do feel good to hear, and I nod.

"Thanks, Ben. I like my goofy bodyguard too."

"At your service. But please warn me next time you're trying to die. I'll try to help."

"Will do."

Suddenly, Spark seems to wake up, and jumps down from my lap, stretching on the balcony. Is he done sleeping now? I shake my head and get up too.

"I'm going to get something to drink... Do you want anything?"

"No, thanks."

"Okay."

I step back inside, but to my surprise, Bonnie is standing there. Not only that, her arms are crossed, and she has tears in her eyes... Did she overhear us? I hesitate, but she sniffles, and points at the balcony.

"Do you mind if I... chat with my brother for a minute?"

I shake my head and step aside, letting Bonnie take my seat on the balcony. Well, maybe it's a good thing. Maybe she needed to hear that her twin isn't as alright as he seems. I think Bonnie might be more harsh because that's her way to deal with it too...

"Come on, Spark."

I go to the kitchen to grab myself a cup of water, feeling very thirsty all of a sudden. I really want to go to that cemetery first thing in the morning. I glance at the clock, but it's still too early. Instead, I stay in the kitchen, slowly drinking and thinking a lot. What Ben said about family made me think of my own sister.

I didn't stop to think about it again, but I can't forget about Amy trying to come and see her younger sister who was crying... I sigh, and go to grab the phone. I tried to call her earlier, but she wasn't answering. She hasn't called back since. I check the voicemail, but there's nothing.

I hesitate, and push the call button. It rings one, two, three times. I glance at the clock, a bit nervous; I shouldn't have called at such a time but then again, who knows which side of the world she is on…?

"Amy Garnett speaking. Who is this?"

For a couple of seconds I'm surprised. Shit, the phone! I forgot I took Liam's, Amy doesn't know this number.

"It's Ma-... I mean, Clarissa," I say, a bit embarrassed.

"Oh. ...Is everything okay? What's this number?"

"Yeah, uh... I borrowed a phone from a friend."

"I see."

She doesn't say anything after that and I'm a bit at a loss on what to say. My eyes go to the clock again.

"I'm not... waking you up, am I?"

"No, I was working on something."

"Are you busy?"

"No, it's fine. Clarissa, what is it? Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, but, uh... I need to tell you something."

I take a deep breath. I'm not really sure how to bring the subject up without making Amy freak out. If anything, I don't want to tell her about the magic circles and even all the trouble I got into today. She'd most likely have me on the next plane out of Silver City...

"Amy, I had a dream about... when I was younger. Before the accident."

"What, really? Is your memory coming back then?"

The tone of her voice surprises me. I can tell she sounds happy about it but also... cautious. I know I have to ask, but somehow, it's just not easy. I don't know what Amy knew or not, and I'm afraid I'll reveal something she shouldn't have known. Why am I so cautious with her all of a sudden?

"I can't really say," I explain. "It's just... dreams and I think they are memories from the past. Did my room have... dark blue walls?"

"Yes. Yes, your room at our father's house was like that."

"And... my bed was in the corner opposite to the door."

"Yes."

"I just had a memory of... me crying under the bed covers. You... walked into my bedroom, but a man... I think it was our father, he told you to leave me alone."

"Oh..."

She stays silent for a little while and I hear her close a laptop.

"That's... after Father brought you home. You really cried a lot and I would hear you when I went to the bathroom. Our father is a strict man. He didn't like seeing me out of my bed, for any reason at all."

"Yeah, he didn't seem... very concerned."

"No. I told you, he's not really the... doting type."

She sounds almost sorry, and it makes me smile. If anything, I'm happier to learn that Amy was more concerned about the crying Clarissa than she was sad about our douche of a father.

"It's fine, I'm not really surprised at this point."

"Do you remember anything else?"

"There was a meal with our father, but it wasn't very... happy. You weren't there. Also, I remember when I... asked you to help me apply to the university here."

"Yes, like I told you, it was the first time you reached out to me to ask me for anything."

I nod, although she can't see it. Clarissa probably didn't give her more details about her reasons, it sounded like Amy helped without asking too much. There's still one thing I need to ask though.

"...Amy, did you know I was sick?"

She stays silent for a long while. It can't be that she didn't know. It would explain a lot, about basically everything. Even her reactions at the hospital, how she was being over protective of me. Will she lie? I wait, even checking if she might have hung up at some point but I can hear her breathing, very faintly.

"...I didn't know until your accident."

"How so?"

"You had put me as your emergency contact so they called me when it happened. I flew over and was taken to the Emergency Room and so on. When I did the papers for your admissions though, I saw your health records..."

So Amy really had no idea until then, as I suspected. Clarissa did one hell of a good job in hiding so much from her older sister... She hid that she was sick, probably terminally ill, and she flew to Silver City under false pretenses too. Of course. If Amy had known about her health issues, she probably wouldn't have let her... I mean let us fly here.

"I thought there was a mistake," she continued, "so I called our family doctor, and she confessed everything."

"Amy, what did she say?"

"...You had a strange form of lung cancer and lymphoma. Not only that, but your organs were failing one after the other. As if your body was destroying itself from the inside. You also had some form of blood disease. Our family doctor said you... refused to be treated and refused any medication."

It does sound like Clarissa dismissed all the concerns of the people around her. The few that actually cared about her. Why, though? Did she really not care about dying? Or did she know there would be a way to survive...? I hear Amy walking on the other end of the phone and some coffee machine running.

"I called Father, to ask if he knew," she sighs. "I couldn't believe our family doctor wouldn't have told him at least."

"He knew, didn't he?"

"Yes. I... I fought with him over the phone."

Wait, what? She fought with that stiff father of ours? For my, or Clarissa's sake? I'm shocked. I had felt like Amy was the most implicated but I never thought she'd go that far. She had said so herself she really didn't care much about her father...

"Really?"

"Yes. I couldn't believe he was that unconcerned. I had always assumed… that he somewhat cared a bit more about you. He had kept you home longer than he did with me, before sending me to boarding school, so I don't know why... I should have known better. Anyway, it made me mad so I figured if I was mad at our father I had to at least do better than he did as a parent. I mean, I know we are only half-sisters but you're still much younger than me, and without any decent parental figure."

I have to keep myself from chuckling when she says that. Despite her very strict tone, I guess that's her way of showing she cares. I think I'm trying to understand how it works in our family... I'm completely fine giving up on that asshole of a father though. From the bit I remembered of him, I'm not missing out on much. I nod and take a deep breath.

"Amy?"

"Yes?"

"...Thank you. For being my family."

She goes silent on the other end of the phone, but that's fine. I didn't expect any cheesy response from her. I just wanted her to hear it from me at least.

I hear her clear her throat and I smile. Is she touched?

"A-alright," she says. "...Anything else you remember?"

"Uh, I don't think so. That's pretty much it."

"I see, I don't know what happened in that accident but... Clarissa, your disease..."

"I know. I'm healed, aren't I?"

"Yes. I asked them to check and double-check everything. They said aside from your injuries, everything is... gone. I am not really knowledgeable in the medical field, but they said it's like all of your cells had regenerated. Your lungs are as good as any healthy person your age, your blood is clean, everything is... fine."

"I remember how I felt before the accident, a bit. I know I wasn't feeling well."

"Clarissa, you were terminally ill. Our family doctor said you should have... died within a couple of years. I don't know what happened in that accident but it saved you."

Magic saved me.

I don't know what happened, how Clarissa got ahold of Mara's powers, but... somehow, she found a way to survive. Not only did she heal herself but she... we acquired these powers in the meantime. A Cursed One's body who should have died now is as good as the body of the Fire Witch who should have lived instead. How the hell is that possible?

I lean against the kitchen counter, my head filled with questions. I'm mostly uneasy because I'm afraid to know what Clarissa did, the price she paid for this new life. Why I don't remember myself as Clarissa, and why the name Mara is the one that sticks in my head. Something about all of this scares me. As if some truths I still have to uncover are going to hurt more people...

"Amy... Why didn't you tell me? That I was sick before?"

"Oh. I..."

She sighs.

"I don't know. I didn't have any plans to actually hide it from you at first, but then, before you woke up, I guess I just felt like maybe it was better you didn't remember. I thought... you might be happier if you had a chance to start over. You had... a new life given to you. I honestly don't care to know how it happened. I just felt you deserved it after... everything. You were in a new city, you had a new friend, a new life away from our father and everything you went through as a child. I felt like maybe this was a chance I should give you. I know if it had happened to me, I would have taken it. So, I made the choice for you."

I nod.

I can't say I fully agree with her decision but... Clarissa and Amy weren't close enough to tell each other their secrets. Her dying, younger sister came to Silver City and suddenly, she wasn't ill anymore but an amnesiac. I don't know what I would have done in her stead, but Amy knew Clarissa wasn't happy. No matter how far apart they were, she couldn't ignore the fact that her little sister was unhappy with her previous life.

The bullying episode... I didn't tell Amy. She probably doesn't need to know that but maybe, she would have been comforted in her decision if she knew.

"...Are you upset? That I didn't tell you?"

I hesitate. I probably am a bit. I mean, I wish she had been much more honest about everything, earlier. It's not that I really resent Amy. I do understand she was trying to do what's best for me, but it's just that our relationship was too... awkward to begin with. I guess she and Clarissa never really learned how to behave as proper sisters, so she just acted the way she felt was the best for her estranged sister. It's not wrong, it's just... not really right, either.

"I understand," I simply reply. "However, I'd appreciate it if you... asked me things directly, from now on."

"I will."

"...And not pay my friends to do it."

"...Oh."

Yes, I know about that. I want to roll my eyes, but it probably wouldn't do much. I hear her clicking her tongue.

"Sorry, Clarissa. I just... felt it might be more convenient that way."

How is paying Kelsi to report to her more convenient than asking me directly? Is it because she can't be bothered to call? But if she texts Kelsi she should be able to text me also, right? I sigh. I just don't understand how she thinks sometimes.

"Well, don't do it anymore," I say. "I really don't like it."

"I understand. I won't."

I nod. I guess this is it for tonight's awkward sisterly conversation... I try to think of something more to say, but I don't think I can ask her how her work is going or something like that. I really don't know much about my older sister... How do you work on that?

"Did you find anything new?" she suddenly asks, taking me by surprise.

"Oh, uh... yeah, a bit. I mean, I found a picture of my mother and a book that probably belonged to her. I... I also met someone, who is like... a distant relative. On my mom's side, I mean."

"Really?"

I'm a bit shy, but I decided to detail a bit of my findings to Amy. I feel like she's making an effort by asking and acting genuinely interested, so I just let her know how it is going so far. Of course, I spare her all the details about me hanging out with werewolves, the whole witchery situation, and the fact that I almost died a couple more times this week... I just make it look like the research has been rather easy and simple, like a trip to the library and a bit of luck.

"It sounds like you've been busy," she says.

I almost grimace. Oh, Moon Goddess, she has no idea...

"Hm, yeah. I do hope to find more soon, though..."

"Clarissa, what about university?"

I'm so surprised, I stay mute for a few seconds. What about university now? Who cares about university?

"Uh..."

"You went to Silver City to study also. At least, that's what you had told me. Are you going to your classes?"

I'm almost sweating, and I'm cringing. Who cares about university?! Clarissa was the one who made up that lie so why do I have to answer for that now? I have no idea if I've missed classes! Did Kelsi miss hers to be with me too? What do I tell Amy now?

"I'm... considering changing majors."

Awesome, Clarissa.

"Why?"

"W-well, with my amnesia, I just... I guess my tastes have changed a bit, I don't think I like what I'm doing anymore."

"...What are you going to do, then?"

I have no idea; why do I have to worry about properly going to a university now?! I look around, looking for some kind of answer but I have no idea!

"I... I'm still thinking."

"I see. Well, let me know once you've decided. You should see if you can save your credits for the end of the semester, at least. It might be useful later."

"O-okay..."

I glance toward Kelsi's room hoping she'll help me figure this out in the morning. University, seriously? As if I could afford to add that to the long list of things I need to take care of!

"Alright then. It's... almost 6:00 in the morning here, I have to get ready."

"Oh, okay," I say, relieved she's not pushing this further. "I... Is it okay if I call you back later? I mean this week?"

"Of course. I'll save this number."

"A-alright. Uh... Have a good day, then."

"You too. Stay out of trouble."

Ugh, I can't guarantee anything about that.

We hang up, and I let out a long sigh. Although this conversation was a bit strange, I somehow feel a lot lighter. I feel like we've cleared some air between us. I think... I think I'm starting to understand Amy a bit better. She doesn't have bad intentions, she's just trying to do her best with the little bit of knowledge she had about what a real family is supposed to be like. If Clarissa grew up alone and depressed, maybe Amy became cold and detached as her own result... and is fighting through it with the only real bond she has.

Spark suddenly jumps on the kitchen counter next to me, staring at me with his big golden eyes shining in the dark. I pet him, a bit unsure of what to do next. I don't really feel like going back to bed now… although I should probably try to get some more sleep. The twins are still chatting on the balcony. I rinse my cup and turn around to grab my cat and my phone, but just then, it vibrates. I frown. Did Amy text me?

I open it, but to my surprise, it's from another number.

"I miss you. And I'm sorry. Can we talk tomorrow?"

I hesitate a bit. Liam? My heart skips a beat in my chest. Damn it, I really hope that's him and not one of his other secret girlfriends... I think about what to answer, not to sound too cheesy or too nice. I'm still a bit mad at his reaction earlier...

"Are you learning to use phones now?"

"I had to. My girlfriend isn't a werewolf."

I bite my thumb. So he still considers me his girlfriend... Hmm. Does that mean he got his family's approval? Or he doesn't care? I haven't found anything about the other Mara yet. What does he want to talk about? I'm a bit nervous now. I try to think of an answer while I glance at the clock again. My conversation with Amy comes back to mind for some reason. What would she think of me going out with a werewolf? After a while I sigh and type an answer.

"I miss you too. Can you come get me after my classes tomorrow?"

I take a deep breath, and walk back to the balcony where the twins are silent. They both turn their heads toward me as they hear me arrive.

"Ben, do you think you can take me to the university tomorrow?"

He opens his eyes wide and he exchanges a look with his sister, both baffled.

"Sure, but... why are you going there? You have a new lead? What about the cemetery?"

"I'll go to the cemetery... after my classes end. And Kelsi's too."

"You're going to your classes? Seriously?"

I sigh, a bit embarrassed.

"I talked to my sister, and I figured... although I don't have all the answers yet, I'll have them someday. And then, I'll have to get back to... a normal life as much as possible. So, I want to go to the university, find something I might want to do. It doesn't have to be anything too meaningful. I just want some... normalcy in my life."

"Normalcy. Got it. Yeah, sure."

"Thanks..."

A bit awkward, I walk back to my room with Spark on my heels, and look through the stuff on my desk to find an agenda or something. Damn, I have no idea what my schedule is like... I guess I'll just have to accompany Kelsi to hers tomorrow and ask the secretary.