Page 42 of Hidden Plays (Desert Football #1)

TWENTY

HOLDEN

JJ insisted on staying the night, and we were so exhausted, we’d fallen into my bed and snuggled the night away. Being in his arms was the best and probably the only way I could sleep, anyway.

I stood on the sideline, watching JJ warm up, Casey tossing him pass after pass. The man was unstoppable. I don’t know how I’d have managed this shit with my brother without him.

“How was your Thanksgiving, Cox?” Coach Bowden approached me. “Did you get enough turkey?” He chuckled.

My stomach tumbled. Should I tell him the truth or lie? “It was, uh, it was good.” Better not to go into it with him.

He peered toward the field. “Matthews seems to be in great form. His IT band is good as new, is it? ”

“Seems to be. He told me he doesn’t have pain anymore. I’ve got him on a maintenance routine now. You know how soft tissue injuries can continue to flare up.”

With a nod, he patted my shoulder. “You’re a skilled trainer, Cox.

I’d like to keep you on through next season.

” He arched a brow. “And if you’re looking for a position in the NFL, you can count on me for a good recommendation.

You know they have internships, right?” He raised the corner of his mouth.

“The staff there rely on me for training camp interns.”

I stared at him, gaping. “Uh, um, thank you, Coach.” Holy fuck, did I have a chance at the NFL too? But what if JJ moved to another city this summer? I swallowed thickly. We’d figure this out, and we had time. “I’d really appreciate if you could help me out with that.”

“Consider it done, Cox.” He squeezed my shoulder.

The U of A Wildcats had a disastrous game.

Three touchdowns and a field goal separated us from victory with five minutes left in the fourth quarter.

JJ had scored two of those touchdowns, and he was the happiest I’d ever seen him.

Victory and the Territorial Cup were imminent, and soon we’d board the bus home.

As the special teams took the field for the kickoff, JJ jogged off the field with Carter and Dawson.

My phone buzzed in the pocket of my sweats. I glanced at Coach, chatting with the medic. I’d ignore my phone except…Noel. What if something happened to him tonight? Fuck. I slipped my phone out, twisting my back to everyone, and tapped on the screen.

Mom

I hate to bother you at the game, but I know it’s almost over. We need you at the hospital as soon as you get home .

My heart jumped into my throat, and I winced. Noel couldn’t give us one night of peace? I typed back.

Holden

Okay, we’ll leave in about an hour and should be home within three.

“Babe, what’s going on? If the coaches see you on your cell…” JJ stood beside me, huddled over my phone.

“I know, but with Noel’s bullshit, I had to check it.” I slipped the phone into the pocket of my sweats, glancing at the bench and picking out the coaching staff. No one was looking in our direction. “Turns out, my mom wants us at the hospital as soon as we get into town.”

“Fuck, why do you think that is?” He knitted his brows. “You don’t think he’s worse, do you?”

“I don’t know.” Pain sliced through my chest. “Guess we’ll find out when we get there.” And I’d be an absolute basket case until then. “Go back to your area.” I shoved his shoulder.

“Yeah, okay.” He stepped away and stopped. “Holden, it’ll be okay.”

With a quick nod, I blinked the blurriness from my vision. No matter what, I had him. “Go, JJ.” I turned my attention to the rest of this boring ass game.

I about lost my mind through the showers, the team meeting after the game and the bus ride home. None of it was fast enough, and I didn’t want to text Mom for an update. If it were bad news, I’d find out when I got there.

JJ had sat beside me, a worried look on his face the entire way home. I knew he wanted to comfort me, but he couldn’t with the entire team acting like giddy idiots all around us from the win.

I gazed out the window at the desert scrub and ragged mountains rolling by as the sun set. I knew JJ hadn’t told Casey and Eli about my brother, but it was obvious they knew something was up by the careful words they’d used with me. They were giving us space, which was good.

As soon as we hit the parking lot at the ASU stadium, we left the crowd and hightailed it for JJ’s SUV. I’d relied on him a lot this weekend for driving me around.

We drove to the hospital, about twenty minutes from the stadium, in near silence. Neither of us wanted to speculate about what we were walking into. The steadiest thing in my life right now was JJ’s hold on my hand.

After parking, we jogged into the hospital and called the elevator. I texted Mom as it dinged.

Holden

I’m here with JJ

Mom

Come to the waiting area.

I read her message and followed JJ into the elevator. Why there? Why not Noel’s room? He was still alive, wasn’t he? “Babe?” My voice wavered.

“Holden, I’ve got you.” JJ wrapped me in a warm hug, swaying me as the elevator rushed us to Noel’s floor.

The doors opened, and I snatched JJ’s hand, striding into the hallway with him. This was it. I knew it was something big. I could feel it. As we entered the waiting area, Mom and Dad sat on a couch, watching the evening news on a television hanging from the ceiling.

“Mom?” I jogged to them. “What’s going on?” I wouldn’t ask if Noel were still alive.

They both stood. “Thank God you’re here. Your brother has refused to see anyone until you got back.” She threw a glance at Dad.

Holy shit, Noel just wants to talk to me ? I clenched my fists.

“It started this morning. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, and the more we tried, the more irrational he became.” Dad lowered his brows. “He said he wouldn’t talk until you came back. We tried to tell him you were at a game today, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“Do you think he knows about the intervention?” Mom creased her forehead. “Did you give something away when you were with him yesterday?”

“No, I said nothing about it.” My pulse ricocheted through my body, sending all my nerves on high alert. Had I done something wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t have told him about my breakdown?

“Babe, it’s not your fault.” JJ kissed the back of my hand. “Look at me.” He pulled on both of my hands, forcing me to face him. “It’s not your fault.”

Panning my gaze to Mom, I asked, “Mom, why didn’t you just say that? The message you sent scared me shitless! I’ve been traveling for hours terrified, and Noel only wants to chat?” Nausea balled in my gut. Did I somehow ruin our chances of getting Noel into treatment?

“I didn’t want to worry you and thought he’d come around eventually.” She wrung her hands in front of her chest. “I’m sorry, honey. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“Jesus, Mom.” With a scowl, I scrubbed my face. All that worry for nothing.

“Come on, Noel wanted Holden here and now he’s gotten his wish. Let’s see what he has to say.” With a huff, Dad grasped Mom’s hand and strode toward Noel’s room.

“Holden, babe, I’m right here.” JJ cupped my cheeks and locked his gaze on mine. “I’ve got you, remember? This changes nothing, whatever it is.”

As I swallowed through a lump, I nodded. “Okay. Let’s see what this bastard has in store for us now.” With JJ by my side, I could face anything. Puffing my chest, I strode into the room, clutching his hand. “Noel, I’m here.” My heart thudded against my ribs .

Mom and Dad followed us in.

Noel shifted his head on the pillow, his brows wrinkling. “Holden…” His attention drew behind me, toward Mom and Dad. “Mom, Dad.” He tensed his jaw and said, “Sitting in this fucking room has made me do a lot of thinking, and I’ve come to a decision.”

I braced myself, fisting my free hand. Here it came. He was either leaving town, cutting us all off from his life, or some shit. “Okay, what is it?”

Tears welled in his puffy eyes, and he sniffled.

“You all are right. I’m a fucking mess and I need help.

” In a cracking voice, he said, “I didn’t know how bad off you were, Holden.

Fuck, I should have been there for you.” A tear tumbled down his cheek.

“What sort of shit brother am I? How did I not see your pain?” His lower lip trembled.

“When you told me about it, it…I don’t know, woke me up.

” He hung his head, folding the thin hospital blanket between his fingers.

“Maybe it’s because I haven’t had a drink in a few days.

” He nodded slowly as tears fell onto his chest, wetting spots on his gown.

“Do you know how long it’s been since I went a day without drinking?

” His throat dipped. “I can’t even remember. ”

“Noel.” As heat grew behind my eyes and my heart ripped open for him, I stepped to the bed and grabbed the metal rail.

“Are you saying you’ll get help? You’ll agree to a treatment facility?

” My heart drummed in my ears. Was I hearing this right?

Was he just saying this so we wouldn’t perform the intervention? Addicts lied, right?

JJ’s body warmed my back, and he snaked his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

With his wet gaze crawling to mine, Noel said, “I am. I’ll go.

I’ll stay as long as it takes.” He swallowed hard.

“I want to be the brother you deserve.” His gaze flicked to Mom, standing next to me with her palms pressed together over her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks.

“I want to be the son I should have been all along. ”

“Oh, Noel.” Mom sniffled, wiped her face and kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.” His gaze swept the room. “All of you. You stood behind me even when I was an asshole to you. I don’t deserve you.” He dipped his head and sucked in a breath. “But someday I will.”

Dad walked around Noel’s bed and slid his arm over his shoulders. “Son, we can’t wait to see the new you. We’ll help you however we can.”

Noel leaned into Dad’s side. “I researched while I sat here, so I’d know what I was in for. I’m ready.” He peered into Dad’s face. “I assume you have some places picked out?”

“I do.” A soft smile graced Dad’s lips. “I can show them to you, and you can pick one. Any of them will take you on Sunday, when they release you from here.”

Nodding, Noel said, “Okay.” His gaze cut to mine.

“Holden, I want you to know how sorry I am for what you went through.” He bit his lower lip.

“You know what? I’d boasted to all my friends about how my brother was going to Penn State and how he’d be a great NFL player someday.

” With a weak huff, he shook his head. “I was so fucking self-absorbed, I was more worried about what my friends thought than how it affected you. Fuck, I’m an asshole.

” He covered his face with his hands and wept gently.

“Noel, it’s over now.” I placed a hand on his shaking shoulder and my cheek against his head. “Let’s put it behind us and start anew.”

Sniffling, Noel breathed in a tattered breath. “Yeah, let’s start anew.” He grabbed my hand from his shoulder and squeezed it. “I promise I won’t let you down.”

I gritted my teeth, holding back the emotions threatening to erupt.

God, I hoped he could pull this off and keep his promise.

It would be a tough road for all of us. “You’ve already started.

” I stepped backward into JJ’s arms. Was it possible to have Noel in my life and JJ in the same city? Only time would tell.

After sitting with Noel and talking with him about the logistics of his treatment program and lighter subjects, I left the hospital with JJ and returned to my apartment. The game, the drive, and my brother’s announcement had exhausted me.

I swung the door open to my place, and stepped inside, combing my long bangs off my face.

“Beer?” JJ strolled into my kitchen. “I mean, we beat the living shit out of U of A, and your brother finally came to his senses.” He opened the refrigerator. “If that isn’t cause for celebration, I don’t know what is.”

“Hell yes.” I fell onto the end of the couch and stared at the coffee table. I was emotionally and physically drained, no doubt about it. The memory of my conversation with Coach pushed through my brain. Fuck, I had to tell JJ about it.

JJ rounded the end of the couch with two open beer bottles. “Here.” He handed me one and sank in beside me. “Talk?”

As I sipped the beer, the cool bubbles slid down my throat.

“I’m a little talked out, but there is something I need to tell you.

” I wedged the beer between my thighs and angled to face him.

“At the game tonight, Coach Bowden asked me to stay on as a student trainer for next year.” I gauged his reaction.

His brows ticked up. “He did?” He drank some beer. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

I nodded once. “It is, but he also said the Cardinals come to him for recommendations on student trainers for internships at their training camp.” I gnawed my lower lip. Fuck, I’d agreed to follow JJ to whatever city he’d end up in, but this was a chance that could make or break my career.

“Training camp for the Cardinals is in Flagstaff.” His gaze fell to his beer, and he picked at the label.

“You need to go, Holden.” He gave me a thin-lipped grin.

“You can’t pass up this opportunity, and I guess this means I’ll have to ask my agent and uncle to let the Cardinals know I’m interested in playing with them. ” His grin widened.

Backroom deals happened all the time in the draft, but it was still a long shot. I placed my hand on his thigh. “Are you sure?”

“Dead sure, Holden. Let’s be real here. If your brother gets sober, he’s going to need you, and I know damn well you won’t want to leave here when you’ll finally be getting him back in your life.

” He drew a deep inhale. “The Cardinals’ poor season improves my draft position.

It’s a no-brainer.” He flung his arm around my shoulders.

“My uncle said the Cardinals are looking to build a powerhouse, and I want to be a part of it.” He shrugged and smirked.

“Who knows? Maybe I can bring the team to the Super Bowl.”

Shaking my head and huffing a laugh, I said, “JJ, you can be so cocky sometimes…” I gazed into his gorgeous blue eyes, lighting up for me. “But I think if anyone can bring them to the Super Bowl, it’s you.”

“With you at my side, I can do anything, babe.” Leaning in, he pressed a hard kiss on my mouth.