Page 23 of Hidden Plays (Desert Football #1)

Grabbing my arm, he freed a soft snort and said, “Come on, Holden. What do you expect from a bunch of college athletes? We all have dirty minds and the humor of thirteen-year-old boys.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I choked out a laugh. He was right. And I had to do something about this soon. I glanced at Eli. Maybe I could start with him. For whatever reason, of all of them, he seemed to be the most approachable.

After practice, I caught up with Eli as he left the training facility. “Hey, Eli.” I jogged to him.

“Yeah?” Furrowing his brows, his attention drew to me, and he stopped. “What’s up, Holden?”

“Do you have any time, or are you heading to class?” I glanced around us, students trickling out of buildings and hurrying across the palm tree lined sidewalks in the mid-morning sunshine. If he had a class, maybe I could meet him somewhere later.

“Nope, I was heading to the library to study. I have an hour to kill.” He scanned me from top to bottom. “You look anxious. Who is this about? JJ? ”

I gave a slow nod. “Uh, yeah.” I worried my lower lip. Where could we talk without people hearing us? “Let’s use one of the conference rooms outside the gym.”

“Okay. This sounds serious.” He fell in step with me as I walked. “Is JJ okay? I thought his hip was getting better?”

“Oh, it is.” I opened the glass door and stepped inside. As we strode down the hallway, I glimpsed into a room with an open door. “No one’s in here.” I held my hand out, motioning for Eli to enter. Before closing the door, I checked both directions. Only coaches used these rooms as far as I knew.

Eli took a chair at a round table, setting his backpack on the floor, and threaded his fingers on the surface. “The suspense is killing me.”

I had prepared nothing for this talk. As I sank into a chair opposite him, my pulse hammered, and my palms grew sweaty.

Originally, I’d sought Eli’s perspective on being queer, but now it was more about what to expect if I came out.

I inhaled deeply and said, “Eli, I’ve discovered I’m bisexual. ” I’d start there.

His brows jumped up, and a grin worked over his mouth. “Really?” He shifted. “That’s fantastic news, but you mentioned this has to do with—” With his eyes popping, he said, “Oh, JJ.” His grin fell. “JJ has a boyfriend. I’m sorry.”

I rocked once. “I, uh, I know JJ has a boyfriend.” Here we go. I was about to spill my truth.

“So, the guy you’re attracted to isn’t JJ.” He glanced at the wall and came back, his brows lifting again. “Shit, is it me?”

“Um, no.” He was making this harder than it should be. Or maybe it was how I approached it? “Listen, Eli, JJ’s the one I’m attracted to, and I’m also the one he’s been seeing.”

“You’re Harry?” His mouth dropped open. “But Harry is…Harry took him to the gay bar on their first date.” He tapped his finger on his chin.

“I went to the gay bar with JJ.” I squirmed. This had already turned into a clusterfuck. How would I explain this to all of them ?

“Wait, why did you go to a gay bar with JJ? I thought you hated each other?” He furrowed his brow and hung his head. “I’m so confused.”

I choked out a sigh. “JJ asked me to fake date him so you guys would lay off him about this Myles guy. I agreed, but in the process?—”

“You fell in love.” His grin returned with a vengeance. “That’s so sweet.”

“I’m not in love. Not yet.” I slid my finger along a crack in the table. Or was I? I was damn sure getting close. If we have more dates like the last one, I could be.

He leaned in, resting his forearms on the table. “JJ says great things about you. I mean, Harry.” He narrowed his eyes. “Damn, dude, now I’m not sure I want to hear any more. You’re supposed to be our trainer.” He shook his head and chuckled. “It’s hard to look at you now.”

“Sorry, I’ve told JJ to stop telling you guys stuff.” I scratched my brow. Had he embellished some things? This was awkward now. I had to redirect the conversation. “Not everything he’s told you is true. He was trying to make the fake boyfriend thing more than it was.”

“Were those texts from you?” He watched me.

“Yes, but in the beginning, it was fake.” I sighed. “Can I talk to you, Eli? I need information about being queer and what to expect.”

“Sure, but why don’t you ask JJ?” He crossed his arms on the table.

“Because I want to hear from someone else. Someone who I’m not in a relationship with.” I bit the corner of my lip. “I don’t have any queer friends to talk to.”

“Go ahead, ask away. You know I’m a psychology major, right?” He gave me a warm smile. “I love assisting people like this. Plus, as part of my major, I help on the LGBTQ student helpline. It’s called the Q-line, actually.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Maybe that was why I picked him to talk to. I had an innate sense about him, and boy, had I gotten lucky. Focusing on him, I said, “I want to come out, but what should I expect?”

He wrinkled his forehead, nodding. “It’ll be different for everyone. Some people will be assholes to your face, while others will offer false support and disappear.”

“Oh…” A knot formed in my gut. That wasn’t very reassuring.

As a smile swept across his mouth, he said, “But most people will be accepting and won’t behave differently toward you at all.”

My heart lifted. “Yeah?” What would Arden be like? He’d been confirming my straightness throughout this situation. Would he move out on me?

“You’ll definitely find out who your true friends are.” He pursed his lips. “But you don’t need fake friends in your life anyway, right?” His smile returned.

“Right.” How would my parents react? I chewed the side of my lip. “What about parents?”

“I found most to be supportive. You grew up in Scottsdale, didn’t you?” He tilted his head, eyeing me.

“I did. My mom is pretty liberal, but I don’t know about my dad. He’s a finance guy and votes independent.” Dad would be a wild card.

“Consider coming out to your mom first and getting her opinion about your dad. She might help you with him.” Eli’s gaze softened. “My parents were both cool with it in the end, but they were pretty shocked when I told them.”

“Shocked?” I wrinkled my brows. Dad was careful about everything. I’d never seen him shocked.

“Yeah, they weren’t expecting it from me. Don’t know why.” He huffed a chuckle. “Maybe because I always played football?” He smirked. “But I’ve heard some parents already know and are simply waiting for their kids to confide in them.”

“My parents will be shocked.” I hung my head. “They won’t see this coming. I’ve always had girlfriends.” Would Dad even believe me?

“There’s an organization called PFLAG where parents can get support from other parents of LGBTQ kids. Mention it to them if they have a hard time with it.” Eli watched me. “It’ll be easier, the more people you tell. So if talking to your parents is difficult, maybe save them for last.”

Nodding, I rubbed my finger along the table surface. “Yeah, okay.” A plan formed in my mind. I’d talk to JJ, and we’d come clean with his friends first. Then I’d talk to Arden and hope I’d still have a roommate after this. Last, I’d talk to Mom and get her take on Dad.

“What are you thinking about?” Eli shifted in his chair.

“I’m planning the order of people I need to come out to.” My heart about stopped. What about Noel? He’d be a dick, but he was a dick about everything. My gaze swung to Eli’s. “Listen, I haven’t spoken to JJ about this, so can you keep our conversation between us?”

“Of course.” His smile grew wide, and he shook his head. “Fucking JJ, man. I can’t believe he fabricated a fake-boyfriend scheme to get out of being teased about Myles.”

“Do you know Myles?” I wrinkled my nose. How close had they been? JJ hadn’t told me much about that relationship. But then, I’d never asked.

“I do. I’ve hung out with him and Cooper.” Eli arched a brow. “Myles is a good guy, but JJ wasn’t the one for him.” He dropped his arms into his lap. “They never, uh, you know.”

“They never what?” I knitted my brows. Had sex? Did I want to know?

“Let’s just say they never got past first base.” Eli lifted the corner of his mouth. “JJ is a bit of an odd duck. If he’s uncertain that a guy likes him, not just attracted to him, but likes him, he won’t do more than kiss a guy.” He freed a soft snort. “He likes relationships, not hookups. ”

But JJ did so much with me. “Yeah, he told me that.” A grin teased my lips.

He peered at me. “I guess you two have um?—”

“Yep.” Sitting back in my chair, I straightened my legs. “Some of what he’s told you about Harry is true. We’ve gotten past first base.” I huffed a laugh. And would do more if we could.

“Well then, I’d say you passed the test. He likes you a lot, and I’m happy for you both.” He beamed at me. “Anything else you want to ask?”

“No, just keep our little secret for now.” I pinched my lips. I needed to talk to JJ next.

“Sure. Are you going to tell JJ we talked?” He crossed his arms.

“Yes, I’ll tell him.” I lifted my chin. “As soon as I can.” Where would he be right now? In a classroom?

“All righty then.” Eli stood. “If you need to talk some more, contact me. You have my number on the team roster, right?”

“I do.” I rose. “Thanks, Eli. This helped immensely.” And I knew what I needed to do.

“You’re welcome.” He rounded the table, gave me a pat on the back and walked out.

After picking up my backpack, I fished my phone out and texted JJ.

Holden

Where are you? Can we talk?